Obi-Wan felt guilty whenever he had to leave Three. He was still Qui-Gon's apprentice and when the council called on his master to go settle something he had to accompany him. "Absence makes the heart grow fonder." Three said as she played with the loose hair on the end of his braid.
"Out of sight - out of mind. Admit it, the second we hit light speed you'll have a line of guys waiting to —
"Me? You're the one that flirts with anything classified as female." She scoffed. "But it's just as well - we're not allowed to be possessive or exclusive."
"Well then I won't tell you about how the thought of another man touching you gnaws at me like marsh leeches." Obi-Wan said as he feigned indifference. "Or how every moment I'm apart from you I will be thinking about how much I want to put my hands on you… and feel yours on me."
"Same." Three said. Obi-Wan kissed her before he grabbed his cloak and left her dwelling. What she had said was true, he was guilty of flirting. There was one woman in particular he and Qui-Gon kept running into on their travels. He tried not to smile too wide when he thought of Satine. She was beautiful, cultured but complicated. Dealing with Three was so much more simple and convenient. Not that those were the only reasons he pursued her more than any other female in his life. Satine was going to be a Duchess one day. It was all romantic in theory but it'd never work out. In the end it wouldn't work with Three either. His duty to the order came first - he just didn't understand why it made him feel like the worst person in the galaxy for thinking that.
Three and Satine were great women, they didn't deserve to come second to anyone or anything - especially an antiquated notion of purity-in-celebacy that no Jedi followed. Not even Master Yoda. But if anyone ever found out about his trysts he'd be chastised and possibly excommunicated. The hypocrisy put him in a mood. He liked the order but something in him kept screaming for him to rebel and question everything. When he asked Qui-Gon about this confusion his master told him it was normal. Obi-Wan wondered if anything was ever out of the ordinary for Qui-Gon. The man had quite the reputation within the order and throughout the universe as 'Gon-gonna-do-it'.
"Something wrong?" Qui-Gon asked as they boarded the transport.
"No more than usual." Obi-Wan shrugged. He couldn't quite shake a nagging feeling in the back of his mind. Something was on the horizon.
Three could tell Obi-Wan was wary of her for some reason. Something had happened on his mission that left him skittish and distant. She made him some tea to calm his nerves. "How did your former master die?" He asked out of the blue. She froze for a moment before she simply set the tea down next to him.
"Why are you asking?" She answered his question with another question.
"I came across a woman that knew him… and you. She said some things that weigh on my mind."
"What did she tell you?"
"I don't want to say until I hear your side." Obi-Wan answered. He finally looked at her and she stared right back.
"I killed him." Three confessed. Obi-Wan tensed. "Everyone thinks I did it because he molested me or because I'm evil. The council members that knew the truth are all gone now, except Yoda. I think by now he has told Master Windu the truth. But the truth doesn't really matter if no one believes you."
"I'll believe you… if it's the truth you speak." He said. Three sighed and took a sip from her cup.
"I could sense it in him the very second he accepted me as his apprentice. We were connected and all of a sudden I could see the truth about him. He was a Sith. He had turned to the darkside long before I came along and he had learned to hide it. I felt like I was going crazy. He did things, said things that went unnoticed by everyone. But our bond made me see every double meaning, everything he did - all of it was underhanded, cruel… he had cast some kind of spell on everyone. He knew I could see his true self and I'll never forget what he told me." Three said. "He grabbed my arm and held me still as he whispered 'no one will ever believe you'. I could hear his thoughts. Everything he thought of me - I was weak. Just some ugly, little, unwanted child. He fed those thoughts to me everyday all the while showing outward affection so it appeared he was a good master."
"What changed?" Obi-Wan asked.
"We went on a mission. And he told me to stay on the ship but…" She shrugged - unable to explain why she didn't obey him. "I saw him shake down this poor old man. Vu killed him. The man gave him what he wanted and Vu just murdered him, his wife and their grandchild - he was just a nine month old baby." Obi-Wan looked down like he was letting what she said sink in. "I ran from him, took the ship and raced back to the temple to get help. He caught up to me and shot me down. Luckily I crashed into the landing bay of the temple. It was late, mostly everyone was sleeping. I didn't have a saber yet. He pinned me down and all I could do was kick him as hard as I could in the balls. He dropped his saber and I picked it up, he goaded me, said I didn't have the guts... I shoved that saber right into his eye." She took another sip of tea. "When the other masters saw what I had done they reviewed the archive recordings. Without his darkness clouding their connection to the force they saw Vu for what he was. They spent years observing me, kept me isolated - from getting chosen by another master until they were sure I wasn't tainted by Vu."
"And while you were on the blacklist everyone assumed the worst." Obi-Wan said.
"They still do." She said as she stood up. "If I could kill at nine years old what else am I capable of?"
"… I need some time." Obi-Wan said before he left her dwelling in a hurry. He tried to get away as fast as he could - trying to escape the reach of their bond so he couldn't feel her disappointment and shame. She was thinking she had driven him away for good. That she wasn't worthy of being a Jedi because she had killed her master - that his darkness was still somewhere in her and that everyone else was right to avoid her.
Three was cleaning up the tea Obi-Wan left behind when he burst back in the door. "Obi-Wan—" He rushed to her and kissed her. She flinched thinking he was going to hit her and was taken completely by surprised when he embraced her instead.
"I love you." He confessed. "Don't you ever think I don't. I'm just... afraid. And I can't keep it in check right now. You've proven yourself to be one of the noblest people I've ever met - don't let anyone tell you you don't belong here." He kissed her again. "Forgive me. I was a fool to ever doubt my instincts about you. I ran because I felt like I wasn't worthy of you. Forgive me, please."
"Obi-Wan…" She put her hands on top of his. "I love you too." He smiled and pressed his lips to her forehead.
"Don't ever stop. I know it's against the code but it's what keeps me here." He whispered. "Out there I keep going because I can feel you here." He took her hand and put it over his heart. He frowned when he saw tears streaming down her cheeks. She could sense his worry and shook her head rapidly.
"I've never been this happy." She confessed. "I keep expecting something terrible - like you turn around and tell me it was all some cruel trick but you never do and I… it's been so hard to trust anyone since Vu…" Three wiped her face before she looked up at him through her lashes. "I love you too." Obi-Wan smiled wide and hugged her tight. They stayed that way for a long time. They both felt it when something along their slip-shot bond clicked into place. Like the piece that had been missing since they formed it was finally there and now they were complete. For a brief moment Obi-Wan wondered why the council considered this kind of affection to be wrong. Everything about it felt so right. He felt more attuned with the force, happier and definitely more at peace knowing Three felt the same. It also made him feel more powerful knowing she would be there for him. He never realized how lonely he had been before they became friends. It was more that just a sexual attraction - they made each other stronger. And that kind of bond couldn't be wrong.
Life pulled them in different directions for a few weeks. They sent messages when they could - things with the Federation were starting to look a little dicey. Even Sana saw a shift in the way she got the goods to sell in her store. Three assured her if there was a conflict the Jedi would handle it. Three was returning to her dwelling at the temple after class when she got an odd feeling. Someone was waiting for her. She stopped short when she walked in the door to find a tall man standing there. "Can I help you?" She asked. He turned to her and she gasped. "Obi-Wan?"
"Hey." He said as he took her hand. He pulled her away from the door as he closed it. She just stared up at him astonished.
"What in the world happened to you?" Three asked. "You're so tall!"
"Last minute growth spurt on a low-gravity planet." He explained. He wasn't as tall as Qui-Gon but Obi-Wan had been the same height as Three when he left - now he stood head and shoulders over her. "You've grown too." He said and smirked. Three patted the top of her head as if she were gauging her height.
"No." She disagreed.
"Not there." He said as he put his arms around her. He slapped his hands over her buttocks and she yelped. "Here." He chuckled as he continued to grope her.
"Are you calling me fat?"
"Not at all." Obi-Wan sighed. He seemed to be luxuriating in her supple backside. Three pouted - her hips, thighs and butt seemed to be the only things getting bigger on her body. Aayala was so busty she barely fit into her top but Three suspected she wore clothes two sizes too small on purpose. "I love you just the way you are." Obi-ban said as he leaned down and nuzzled her neck.
"Be careful saying that so often. You say it in front of the wrong person and we'll get sanctioned. Well, I'll get sanctioned - you'll probably get high fives." Three rolled her eyes and Obi-wan frowned.
"You're in a mood. Is something wrong?" He asked.
"I got another reprimand." Three answered as she pulled away from him. She had mentioned in her messages that she had already gotten two. One was apparently for being disrespectful to Van - another was for who knows what.
"For what? Not for the health and anatomy class you want to teach to the female padawans?"
"No. The council already approved the course. They've okayed it for every padawan over twelve years old. I've nearly got my lesson plans done so…" She trailed off as she ran her hand over the holo-files on her table. "No - apparently I'm being tempted by the darkside for delving into restoring lives."
"What?"
"In theory it should work - when someone dies they become one with the force. Logically if someone passes from their corporeal form due to injury it should be possible to heal the injury and bring their life force back by channeling into—"
"You're talking about bring people back from the dead!?" Obi-Wan suddenly blurted out. She looked at him sharply. "Three you know that is forbidden."
"But why?"
"Because it's tampering with the natural order of life. To have such a power would be… you'd be able to decide who lives and who dies and no one has that right. We commune with the force - we do not use it to bend the rules in our favor."
"But Jedi do it everyday!" She tried to reason. "We use the force to win battles and influence other peoples minds. Where do you draw the line between a simple trick and controlling someones actions to the point they change their own decisions. Is it fair to use the force in a fight but not to save a life."
"Any battle fought with the force is justifiable if we can bring balance to the universe. Manipulating the force to give and take life - it's selfishness. Not to mention dangerous."
"You know the dangers?" Three asked skeptically.
"Yes. I read it on an old Holocron - anyone who ever attempted to bring a person back by reaching into the force was obliterated by it." He grabbed her hand and pulled her to face him. "I could not bare it if you were taken from me before your time. To never be able to feel you though the force because the very thing that connected us ended up being your undoing."
"Taken from you? Getting possessive aren't you, Kenobi?" Three asked as she pulled her hand out of his. Obi-Wan knew he was in trouble when she called him by his last name. "My life - I can do whatever I want with it. Just because you are afraid to question anything about the order—"
"I am not afraid."
"Only because you know fear leads to the darkside. But you have fear. Just like you have love. They are intangible but they are real. Denying them is the greater sin. And I will not live in denial - I live, I breathe. It is not possible to deny oneself and be truly attuned to the force. You can't have it both ways."
"Is that an absolute?" Obi-Wan asked. Three looked at him shocked. She knew right away what he was implying.
"Get out."
Obi-Wan didn't try to argue or apologize he simply left her dwelling. He loved Three but she needed a serious reality check. He had been taught that the act of bringing someone back to life was a perversion of the force - a gross misuse of it's power. "She just wants to save people - what's so wrong with that?" The question came from nowhere which led Obi-Wan to believe it was not his own thought but maybe that of Qui-Gon's through their bond. He shook it off. It was one thing to question a few antiquated bi-laws about the order but to blatantly break a rule set in place to keep everyone safe was just willfully stupid. Such an attitude wouldn't lead her to anywhere good.
"Is something wrong?" Three looked up when her patient spoke to her. She didn't even notice it was Qui-Gon until she saw his face. She realized just how distracted she was by her fight with Obi-Wan and from his inquiry he could tell too. He offered her a small smile - silently telling her it was okay to tell him everything. She was a little hesitant - even after so long her trust in people was still fragile.
"Aren't I supposed to ask you that?" She asked as she pulled up his chart on a nearby holo-screen. Apparently he was in the med ward because of a few wounds he got on his last mission. Some kind of small animal had attacked him, he'd also need vaccinations once she was done.
"I'm fine." He insisted. Three snorted.
"Y'know Consulars can sense auras. And yours is so pained it's practically screaming."
"Just scrapes."
"Take off your tunic." She instructed. Qui-Gon sighed and stood up so he could get his belt undone. He shrugged off his top and winced - forgetting about his 'scrapes'. Three smirked as he gingerly sat back down. "Master Jinn I can practically see white meat on some of these. Another day and they'd be infected. Another three days and you'd be bed ridden with a fever. Plus you don't know what kind of diseases that animal had. You should take better care of yourself." She reached up and pulled down an examination lamp. She flicked it on and took up a bluish crystal. Three closed her eyes as she channeled some of the force through the crystal. Once the connection was established she opened her eyes to cast her free hand over the first of Qui-Gon's injuries.
"Well?" He started. When he didn't continue she glanced at him. "Did something happen between you and my padawan?" His phrasing made her instantly think of all the things she had done with Obi-Wan that she didn't want anyone to know about - especially his Master. She could feel her face flush - there was no hiding her guilt from Qui-Gon. His smirk told her that he now knew where his padawan was putting his mouth and hands. She tried to stay focused - thought of their argument instead. That's what Qui-Gon really meant. He could sense her annoyance, Obi-Wan's apprehension and their current rift.
"We had a disagreement." She confessed.
"Nothing serious I hope." Qui-Gon said as he looked down at his rapidly closing gash.
"Actually I was hoping for his support on something and… he… it doesn't matter."
"Got anything to do with you researching Mediclorian and Life Force Manipulation?" He asked. She looked at him sharply. "Word travels fast."
"Especially when you're a snoop." She quipped and rolled her eyes.
"Three I've watched you grow, your master and I are life long friends, you have a life-bond with my padawan - it's not snooping. We're as close to family as Jedi are allowed to get. I am merely concerned about you. I know what a hard time you had finding your place after what you went through with Master Vu." Three sighed - she was barely healing a small abrasion on his arm she was so abashed. "I know you think the code is staked against you but believe me when I say when something is forbidden it is usually because 'snooping' into said thing will lead to the dark side."
"According to the code having normal humanoid emotions leads to the dark side. Being ignorant is almost punishable - I want to know what is so dangerous. Not to simply hear it's dangerous and accept it because I am told." Three said. "Knowing will prevent me from practicing such dangerous techniques."
"You are certainly not ignorant." Qui-Gon commented. "But your direct defiance and stubbornness on the subject matter are cause for concern. It seems like this is so important to you. Why?"
"So… I won't be responsible for someone else's death." She answered.
"Oh? Did one of your patients die?"
"No. But I have fear." She confessed. She met his eyes when he put his hand on hers. "Every time my master or you and Obi-Wan leave I'm nearly overcome by it. This terrible thought that you guys will be out there in some distant star system and the unthinkable will happen and there won't be anyone there to heal you. And you'll die."
"There is no death - there is the force." Qui-Gon repeated the mantra they were taught since infancy. "Do not fear losing your master or any of us. Even if we lose our bodies we live on through the force."
"I know all that." She pulled away from him. "But if I can commune with you through the force what's to stop Vu from corrupting me through it. I'd rather save you guys from an eternity with him."
"If he could reach you he would have already." Qui-Gon said. He started scratching at one of his cuts and Three batted his hand away.
"I suppose you have a point." She said as she harnessed energy through the crystal again. She continued to heal him and Qui-Gon felt her mood lift slightly. He knew she was still worried about something but he also knew if he prodded any further she'd withdraw from him. Her problems with Obi-Wan would work themselves out without his intervention.
Obi-Wan couldn't stay away. It was almost painful to be in the temple and not spend time with Three. It was all he wanted while he was away - and to not forgive was unbecoming. Not just of Jedi but as a person as well. He knocked on her dwelling door before he entered. At first he thought that she wasn't in by how dark it was inside but he saw movement on the couch. "Three?" He turned on a dim light and she looked away from him as he approached her. "Three, I can't go on after what I said to you. I feel disgusted with myself for even implying such a thing. I love—" He stopped mid sentence when he saw tears rolling down her cheeks. "Three what— I'm so sorry. Please don't cry. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."
"No. It's not that." She said and wiped her face. "I just… I talked to Qui-Gon today and he made me realize something."
"What?"
"I'm evil!" She cried out and hid her face in her hands. Obi-Wan tried to console her but she sprang up from the couch and started pacing. "He said that if Master Vu could reach me through the force he would and it made me see the truth. My thoughts are not my own. I am weak and he has been manipulating me through the force."
"What? That's madness." Obi-Wan scoffed.
"No, it makes sense. Why resurrection has suddenly become so important. My defiance - my dalliances with you. Qui-Gon asked me why it was so crucial to me and I felt myself starting to say that it wasn't. I felt clarity but then I ended up saying something else. Something I didn't really believe."
"Three… I do that all the time. It's not uncertainty it's just a change in opinion." Obi-Wan reached for her and she leaned back away from his hand.
"No! You have to stay away from me." She panicked. He moved in her way and pulled her into a tight embrace. She struggled against him but he didn't let go.
"You listen to me. You are not weak. You are not evil." He said. "You are so powerful that your love fuels me from across the universe. Look at all you've done. The only reason the council is concerned about you delving into the forbidden arts is because they know the strength you possess. That if anyone could find a way to bring a person back to life it would be you. They have fear of you gaining such power that everything they ever said or did to hurt you would come back to bite them in the ass."
"No…"
"Yes—
"Look how I've manipulate you. Look how I've tainted you into breaking so many rules."
"My love for you is the purest feeling I have ever known in my life. I won't let you dismiss me because what others think of you has made you scared." Obi-Wan said. He cupped her face and made her look at him. "Don't let their fear and hatred take you over."
"Obi-Wan." She sighed. As he looked into her eyes he suddenly had a thought.
"I want to give you something." Three watched him intrigued as he took his lightsaber off his belt. She was wary until he started dismantling it. He used the force to take it apart until he was able to get to the crystal inside. He let the other pieces drop. "This has been with me for over a year - the longest I've ever held on to a lightsaber. This is the closest to a piece of my heart I will ever be able to give to you." He took her hand and placed the crystal in her palm. "If you use this and it makes you feel evil then I guess I must be evil too."
Three looked at the gem for a long moment. She brought her other hand up to cradle it. It gave off a soft mint glow and through it she could almost hear Obi-Wan. His laugh, the lilt in his accent, his sarcasm and corny jokes he picked up from all over. The way he moved, the way he fought, the power he wielded in his stance. His passion and his serenity. It lifted her heart and eradicated any doubt she had. She finally closed her fingers around it. Her confidence restored after a miserable few days of uncertainty.
"I have something for you as well." She said. Obi-Wan smiled when she moved to hug him. He leaned down so she could get her arms around his shoulders. He put his arms around her and leaned his head against hers. He was so content with the embrace - just to be close like that was enough to clear his head. She gently raked her nails through the hair on the back of his head and turned her head towards his neck. "Make love to me." She whispered. He pulled back so he could look her in the eyes. It was truly what she wanted despite the emotional roller coaster they had been riding for half a week. With the look in her dark eyes and the feel of her finger tips on his neck Obi-Wan didn't have to be asked twice.