I feel like whenever I write that I have writer's block, it's like "don't throw me under the bus for your problems" and just goes magically away. But I don't know
Note of explanation at end for an important part of this miserable chapter. Maybe the next one will be lighter? As if...
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Erik allowed me to read for a little while as he composed. He said I had inspired him.
I was glad to be alone in a book, even though he was composing at the piano rather than the organ, and therefore near me. But I kept skimming over pages and retaining nothing of what they had said, then flipping back to where I could remember and rereading. I became too frustrated to continue, so I set it aside, curling up and lying down with my cheek pressed against the arm of the sofa. The fire had dissolved to glowing embers, but the drawing room had electric light, so it didn't matter.
All the rooms had electric light, although, for some reason I hadn't had time to contemplate, Erik hadn't been using mine. He had placed candles in my room instead. Did it have to do with the torture chamber, perhaps? But then, I had turned on the light without a problem...
Erik's music ceased, but it still buzzed low in my ears. I knew he would notice me soon, any moment now, I could count down. Ten, nine, eight, seven, six-
"Why aren't you reading?" He demanded, standing up next to the piano. His fingertips tapped the black gloss.
"I'm not feeling well," I lied.
"Do you want medicine? Is it a headache, stomachache?"
I shook my head, "I was listening to your music, keep playing, please."
"I don't want you to be miserable. I know you're miserable, you've never acted like this before, even when you were at first, you at least pretended to be happy..." His hand curled like it was burning.
"I miss home," I said softly.
"We'll have a home of our own quite soon, and until then, this is your home."
He started over to me with tentative steps. I curled into myself further.
"I hate this place," I whispered.
"It's not so terrible. You're exaggerating. After all, it has electric light, so it's almost as if it does have real windows letting in the sun. And your room is lovely, isn't it? And being without interruption or loud noises?"
"But it's beneath the earth like a tomb."
"Do you think I like it here?!" He snapped. "You need to cease complaining and learn to be happy here. It's not so bad, and I'm not so terrible, am I? I wear my mask, I provide for and adore you... D-don't I?"
He began to sob, and he fell to my feet twitching as if possessed. I was always quite frightened of when he cried, as it was rarely quiet or calm, and often I wondered if he would be so wretched as to do me harm.
I heard his mask clatter to the floor as he wept without words. We both knew why he was crying, so there was no need for them.
"I love you..." he whispered, once his tears had subsided. He kissed my skirts clumsily. "I love you... C-could you lie to me and say that? To me?"
"I love you, Erik," I replied, emotionless and blind-eyed.
"How prettily you say the words..." He sighed. "Might I hold you again? Are you resigned enough now for that?"
"Not now..."
"You don't know how soft you are," he told me, caressing the fabric of my skirt. "And warm, like... like a rabbit. I held one once, and it felt the way you do, all warm and alive. I could feel its heartbeat. I could feel yours as well, all your little breaths, too, how frightened you were, and shivering with cold. The lake is so unforgiving, let's hope your color returns soon... The little creature was frightened as well, as I intended to eat it eventually, but I had never felt the sensation of a warm being fully against me, so I took what I could... You were much better than a rabbit, though."
"I'm glad," I whispered.
"Would you like any pets?" He offered.
"No..."
"Good, because I hate the things, and it wouldn't do to have you wanting something I despise, would it?"
"No," I replied, thinking of Raoul.
He smiled to himself in my skirts, "It's so nice to have a wife. I'm so happy, you know. I wish you could be happy, too..."
"I... I could manage to be happier... i-if you returned... it to me."
His hands turned to claws in my skirts, and they dragged me down off the sofa until I was beneath him, my head barely clinging to the cushions. He told me with unhinged jealousy, "I know why you want that scarf, and it's not because of sentiment! You aren't allowed to think of other men now, not at all! You know that! You know that's not allowed, you know it isn't!"
I nodded weakly, and he released me in horror at himself, sending me sliding down the rest of the way onto the floor. He stumbled away, pleading, "forgive me, forgive me" as he slipped back on his mask. I came to the conclusion that I both forgave him and didn't at all, both at once.
I curled up on the floor, my heart pounding in its confusion. He was right. I shouldn't think of Raoul, it would only make me miserable.
"I want to take a bath," I declared, still on the ground.
He turned to me, as he had been refusing my gaze in his shame, "A bath?"
"Yes... I never took one after... falling into the lake."
He nodded, raising a hand over his veiled mouth as one would to bite at one's fingernails. I stood up on trembling legs.
"Maybe tomorrow," he told me.
"But Erik-"
"No, tomorrow... You're supposed to obey me, you know."
I fled into my room and slammed the door. He pursued.
"You're not allowed in there alone," he told me. "Come out."
"Leave me alone!"
"To kill yourself? No."
"Then bind me to a chair and leave me be."
"Christine, my wife, I couldn't possibly do that for no reason, I couldn't bear it! Now come out, please, or-"
A ringing noise made its way through the house. I peeked through the door.
"What is that?" I asked, knowing it couldn't bode well.
His eyes had a mad gleam in them again, and I was certain he was smiling beneath the black silk. That could only mean one thing: death.
"Oh, merely the siren," he answered. "I suppose I will have to bind you, as I don't quite trust you yet-"
"Erik, please, what is it-?"
"Shh, come into the drawing room with me, we need to be quick."
He was certainly swift in restraining me. I writhed a little, and he patted my head.
"Don't hurt yourself, one moment... Ah, I've forgotten something," he began chuckling to himself as he went into his room.
He didn't come out. Minutes ticked by, and there was no sign of him.
"Erik?" I called.
Silence.
"Erik, I'm frightened," I tried. "I'm frightened!"
"Christine?" Came a familiar voice from behind the front door. "Christine, are you in there?"
"Go away!" I cried. "Go away, Raoul, why have you come here? Leave me alone!"
"Alone? Aren't you a prisoner?"
My mind was wearied from exertion, but managed out an idea.
"Of course not!" I retorted. "Why would you think that? I'm married to him."
"M-married?"
"Of course. You know..." I pushed away my revulsion, "I love Erik."
"What? But... we were going to run away, you said you wanted to!"
"You're so much fun, Raoul," I told him in the cruelest manner I was capable of, "thinking I would run away with you when you have nothing for me."
"You don't love me? Not at all?... Are you lying? Is he making you say this-?"
"You're such an idiot! Erik is out buying me dresses and things, far away from here, and I'm telling you the truth! I," I my voice quavered, "never loved you. You were a bit of fun was all."
"You're... you're lying!"
"I love Erik, not you. Why, I hate you, Raoul, go away before my husband finds you trespassing! I assume Philippe is worried sick about his little brother."
"But... no... no, he's making you say this!"
"I hate you! Are you too stupid to understand? Must I say it slower? I. Hate. You! Now go away and leave me to my marital bliss, why don't you? Be useful for once."
"How can you say these things?"
"I've always been one for candor. Now leave me alone!"
"What has he done to you?"
"You don't think I'm smart enough to lie, do you?... I had a rather large change of heart is all. You were right, who wouldn't want to live in an underground palace? And perhaps I changed a few facts about my captivity, but yes, Raoul, I lové him, not you. Now leave me be."
"He's listening! He's making you say these things, please, Christine-"
"Your voice is giving me a headache. Now go away and leave me be!"
After a moment, heard wet footsteps fading away, and perhaps the sound of him weeping. I began to sob into myself, my chin collapsing upon my chest.
"You're a fine little actress," Erik informed me from just behind my ear so that I jumped. "I knew you could manage it... And now we shall have no interruptions from anyone."
My chest filled with heat, "How did you know I would do that?"
"I didn't," he replied honestly. "But I'm glad, or else he would be dead, and you would be quite upset by that, wouldn't you? More upset than having married me. So he's alive, and we're married, all is right and good, isn't it? We both have what we want."
I nodded blankly, my vision clouding. My poor Raoul! I must have torn his heart apart with those words. What could he be thinking now?
"Let me untie you now," Erik told me. "I'm going to make dinner-"
"No, no," I pleaded, shrinking away from him as he approached me.
"You don't want me to untie you?" He asked in confusion.
"Leave me like this..."
"But... surely you-?"
"Leave. M-me."
"Perhaps... it is best, you might not be very sensible at the moment, and I won't have you harming yourself, poor little dear. I'll be quick about dinner, though, don't fret."
He went into the kitchen, and I was alone to lament.
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This Erik is awful. He's condescending, belittling, and just plain evil. Yay! Dark!Erik success, I think, taking the original and making slight changes.
Okay, but what happened with Raoul? Basically, he was so enthusiastic to rescue Christine, that he tripped and hit his head hard enough to render himself unconscious. The Persian decided to quickly deposit him in Christine's dressing room, then go to save Christine, but people had gathered and found them. They tried to question him and he couldn't get away until it was too late, so he went to regroup at his apartment, get his pistol, and go back down. Obviously, he was expecting the worst and probably self-deprecating hard that he should've just left Raoul and gone after her then and there, poor guy.
Anyway, Raoul was practically under house-arrest with his brother upon waking up, all bandaged up on his head, and he managed to get free a few days later and swim across the lake. He probably has a concussion at this point, also. And then his poor heart is shattered and you can choose whatever you think happens to him next. Suicide by heartbreak? Going to find the Persian? Running home to cry with his brother? Maybe we'll never know... I prefer the last one, as it's quite in character.