The journey back to the shoreline hotel was spent in utter silence. Misaki had all too quickly returned to her usual, indifferent composure and this did little to ease Killua's nerves. The boy was uncertain how to read her actions and subsequent withdrawal towards him. As time-weighted as the walk to Misaki's old home had seemed initially, the returning hike felt like triple or quadruple the length. The sun had nearly set once the buildings in the city became visible to the naked eye, and a blanket of darkness had already sheeted the sky when the gratefully familiar sight of an enthusiastic Gon waving frantically outside the doors to the hotel came into view.
"Killua! Misaki-san!"
The boy rushed towards the pair, hardly stopping in time to keep from sliding past. A veil of dust ascended from his boots.
"You're back!" he announced cheerily, grinning from ear to ear. "I bet you had lots of fun together! I did, too! I met-..."
"Nothing happened!" Killua snapped defensively.
Gon's face fell, bewildered.
"Killua...?"
"I said, nothing! Let's just get our rooms."
Awkwardly lowering his chin until his silver hair shielded his eyes, the boy rammed his hands into his pockets (being sure to keep his arms secured against the bulk of his body) and hurried into the hotel lobby. The brunette, stunned by his friend's reaction, simply followed him with his eyes. Gon turned to Misaki, whose expression had altered just enough to express clearly her own surprise. She took a long blink and reconfigured her visage to neutral before shrugging and heading inside as well.
Gon hung back another moment or two, trying unsuccessfully to piece together what had just happened before trailing after them.
"How many rooms are you booking?" the front desk attendant asked, typing casually on his keyboard.
The three exchanged looks.
"I think we can manage with one room," Gon volunteered.
"One room, three guests," the man noted with a nod. "I can give you room number-..."
"Two," Misaki interrupted, deadpan.
"Pardon me, miss?"
"We need two rooms."
Gon blinked a few times consecutively. He had assumed that after everything that happened, Misaki would be comfortable sharing a room with them. He was confused by her sudden desire to be distant again, though he supposed it could be chalked up to her being female and wanting her privacy. Even so he knew something had changed in their dynamic since she and Killua had left that morning, though he couldn't imagine what it could be.
Killua shifted uncomfortably and turned his eyes on the floor to the right of him.
As clean and professional as the lobby was, the boys soon discovered that the rooms themselves were severely lacking in either attribute. There was quite the layer of visible dust on the few pieces of furniture- a single table, chair, and night stand- adorning the room. Against one wall adjacent to the yellow curtained window were two, single beds fitted with navy blue sheets and pillow cases. A single, royal blue comforter was rolled up at the foot of the bed nearest the small bathroom.
"Man, there's not even a T.V.," Killua grumbled.
"That's okay," Gon assured him. "We don't need a T.V. to have fun together."
Killua sighed, frustrated with his own inability to feel enthusiasm.
"Actually, I'm pretty tired. I might just go right to bed."
"Huh? Really?"
"Yeah..."
"Oh... okay. We can just talk about what happened to us today, then," the tanned boy offered.
The former assassin stiffened, clenching his fists instinctively. His jaw tightened.
"I already told you, nothing happened!" he growled, stomping over to the nearest bed and throwing himself down on it. He grunted in irritation as he rolled onto his opposite side, facing away from his friend.
The green clad boy's limbs hung in a limp fashion as his bottom lip allowed his mouth to drape slightly open. He was once again stupefied by his companion's sudden and aggressive response to him. However, it took only mere moments for his shock to give way to concern and Gon stood in place, studying his hotheaded comrade and racking his brain to find some sort of solution. He supposed Killua was keeping a secret from him. Nonetheless, he understood that now was probably not the time for probing questions.
'Killua's in some kind of pain,' he realized, frowning as the silver haired boy's tense body quivered in front of him. 'Killua's in the most pain right now...'
Closing his chestnut eyes for a moment, Gon collected himself between a few deep breaths.
"It's okay, we don't have to talk," he insisted kindly. "I'm sorry that I said something to upset you... I hope you're not mad at me."
The island boy crossed the room to the opposite bed, seating himself on the edge across from the window. He peeled his jacket from his arms and kicked off his boots, enjoying the sight of the twinkling night sky over the water before lying back and pulling the sheet over himself.
"I had a long day myself and I'm tired, too. We can talk tomorrow... but only if you want to," he assured him. Flashing his brightest, most genuine smile, he added, "Goodnight, Killua!"
Nuzzling his cheek into the pillow, the spiky haired boy drifted off into a sound sleep.
With his hands collected palm up under his head, Killua lay awake and distressed, peering through the darkness at the stucco ceiling. He felt incredibly foolish and embarrassed for his reaction to Gon. He knew that he was being far too sensitive but somehow could not stop himself from feeling so defensive.
'Why did you have to apologize?' he whined mentally, sneaking a glance at his unconscious companion. 'I always feel worse when you apologize.'
Turning his gaze low to the nothingness in front of him, Killua borrowed another few seconds to simply feel miserable. He chewed apathetically at his own tongue until it went more or less numb. He couldn't believe how senselessly combative he was behaving over something as stupid as a little kiss from Misaki.
In spite of himself, he felt his cheeks ignite as the direct thought hit his consciousness again. As brief as it had been, he remembered with startling clarity the softness of her mouth, the tickling of the light movement against his lips, her scent so close it was intoxicating. He wondered if she had noticed the way his breath hitched or his lower lip trembled in response...
Grunting in annoyance at himself, Killua filled his fist with a tight handful of his own hair, tugging firmly.
"I want you to know me, Killua."
The boy shifted, grinding his teeth in an attempt to dispel the unwanted memories from crossing the threshold and flooding his physical body.
"...This is the most intimate thing I've ever shared with anyone... and I'm sharing it with you..."
He tented his knees and squirmed in discomfort, wanting desperately to avoid encouraging the persistent twitch he felt below his core.
"Thank you for coming here with me... my beloved friend, Killua..."
"That's it, isn't it?" Illumi's voice cut in. "Do you want to have sex with Tanoh, Misaki, Kil'?"
"Shut up!" he burst out suddenly, flinging himself into an upright position.
His entire body was burning and sweat stricken now. He panted heavily a few times before checking that Gon was still fast asleep. The sounds from all the surrounding rooms seemed to come alive now as he stared down at himself, feeling an overwhelming sensation of shame. A constant, rhythmic tapping of water droplets from the room Misaki was inhabiting caught his attention, and he sighed as he decided that a nice, cold shower was probably exactly what he needed.
An identical image stared back at Killua as he approached the bathroom mirror. It was cracked and worn, but nonetheless he could still feel the full impact of helplessness inside the blue eyes that locked with his own. Helpless... yes, that was it. He felt helpless... Grimacing, the boy hugged his bare shoulders, his fingers gripping upon the thin, white strap of his undershirt.
Helpless...
Hitting his limit, Killua let out a loud, discouraged groan, slamming his hands against the counter with enough force to make clear impressions of his fists as tears threatened to spill from his eyes. The aged mirror came crashing down in pieces, showering the counter top and the sink with millions of tiny projections of him.
"Why?" he whispered aloud in a strained voice. "Why can't I ever just...?"
His voice suffocated as he raised his head to find himself staring into Misaki's amber eyes. A none-too-dignified gasp escaped him as his face lengthened, stunned. At first, he was far too taken aback to realize what had happened. It wasn't until nearly a full minute had passed that the details began to sink into his conscious mind, and Killua noticed that the girl was wrapped in a single terrycloth, white towel, her plum hair hidden within another. It also became apparent that she was in a separate washroom, her clothes lying behind her in a pile. The window of her was only as large as the mirror that Killua had shattered. Her expression reflected that she was on guard, but after some silence she shook her head and leaned toward him with a neutral face, dabbing beneath her eyes and around her cheeks with the pads of her ring fingers. It was only then, once his features effectively contorted themselves into that of confusion, that it became quite obvious that while her eyes were aligned with his, that she was not looking at him.
As Misaki withdrew her hair from the white cloth, squeezing the ends bit by bit, the boy reached his hand out slowly toward her face. He held it there, inches away, and then began to wave it back and forth. The girl was unfazed completely and continued her activities none the wiser.
'She... doesn't see me?' he thought in awe.
Gathering up his wits, he tucked his middle finger behind his thumb, raised his hand to line up with her nose, and released it to flick at her. Instead of meeting with her flesh, his nail knocked against a smooth, solid finish.
'It's two way glass?'
Dropping the hair towel onto the floor, the girl began to nonchalantly pluck the corner of the larger towel tucked into her bust. Panicked, Killua's face tinted bright red as he inherently tightened his fist and pounded on the glass over and over. The girl tensed, holding the towel firmly against herself as she looked around attentively.
Rather than knocking a single time, Killua knocked repeatedly non stop on the entrance door to Misaki's room. Feeling far too embarrassed to simply stay put, he'd bolted from his own quarters next door to alert the girl directly. Halfway through this fit, it became clear to him that this was rationally not the best idea to spare his shame, but it was too late to retreat now. After what seemed like a lifetime, the door finally unlatched.
"What's going on?" the girl asked readily.
"This place is-... Wh-What? Who answers the door in a towel?!" he screeched, averting his eyes forcibly.
"I do, apparently."
"Don't you know there are perverts everywhere?!"
"Are you trying to tell me something?"
"Yes! Don't answer the door half naked!"
"Yes, father. Never again. Now what was it that you came to say?"
"I'm not gonna tell you until I can look you in the face! Get dressed!"
"Calm down. You'll give yourself an aneurysm shouting like that."
Amidst the noise, several doors down the hallway opened and multiple faces appeared through the cracks to see what the commotion was.
"See?! Now look what you've started!"
"I'm hardly the one standing in the hallway in my underwear shouting at two thirty in the morning."
"In my-...?"
To his horror, Killua peered down to find that indeed, in his haste to rush from the bathroom, he was still clad in only his undershirt and black boxers.
"N-Nevermind!" he hollered back. "Worry about putting your own clothes on! It's indecent!"
With a small smirk, Misaki departed back into her room. Killua sighed with relief before turning to find the entire corridor still littered with prying eyes.
"What?!" he snapped, shooting a glare that succeeded in convincing the other lodgers to abandon the scene to their corresponding suites.
"A two way mirror?" Misaki repeated, humming to herself. "I guess you're right; there are perverts everywhere."
"Yeah, yeah."
"Out of curiosity, just how long did you watch me through it before coming over here?"
"Wh-what are you trying to accuse me of?!"
"I was only teasing," the girl insisted, raising a hand dismissively. "Thank you for telling me. Goodnight."
"Yeah, goodn-..."
As Killua motioned to turn the handle to his room, he realized all at once that the door was locked... and in his rush to exit the suite (in his underwear, no less), he had forgotten...
"The key!" he grunted, pounding frantically on the door. "Gon! Wake up! Hey, Gon!"
A symphony of disapproval sounded off at him from the surrounding accommodations as it seemed a dozen or more irritated voices simultaneously cried out their distaste for the ruckus.
"Oh, so it's fine if there's a half naked girl involved? Dirty old men!" Killua yelled back at them.
Before he could continue, Misaki's fingers gently coiled his wrist.
"Under the circumstances, it seems we have no other choice," she explained tonelessly, pushing the door to her room wide enough to invite the boy inside.
Killua accepted it as his mission to make absolutely sure that he remained on his delegated side of the bed. Despite having fallen asleep against Misaki before in the past, he knew that things were different now. He couldn't allow for any slip ups.
Regardless of his own distress, the girl slept soundly next to him. Her arms hugged the pillow, tilted slightly the wrong way, and her plum hair was scattered messily around her shoulders. The parting of her lips indicated just how soundly she slumbered, as though she were comfortable and relaxed in his presence.
"Thank you for coming here with me... my beloved friend, Killua..."
The boy sighed. He supposed it was inevitable, whether in this room or that one, that he was fated not to get any rest tonight.
A/N: Thank you to everyone following, favoriting, reading, and/or reviewing. I promise next chapter will be back on track with the main plot, so please just bear with me. :P