I feel as if this story is beginning to lack that 'on the edge of your seat' drama that pulled the most of you in, which is why I made this chapter the way I did. Certain themes will be returning, in all their glory. I hope you all like it.

Go forth and read on!

Journal,

This is the last I'm going to do what I did today. I couldn't help myself. It was for old time's sake. And hell, everyone else was having fun.

Why can't I?

~*~TJ's POV~*~

When I closed my locker I had about two seconds to avoid being knocked down by two idiots running through the halls. This is the third time this happened today so far, and first period hasn't started yet. It's the beginning of the school day.

What's with people today?

Normally people weren't alive this early and didn't have the energy to pretend other people exist. Today, they're up and messing with each other. Not with me, but others.

I'm not in the mood for their crap.

I walked past a few groups of students tricking each other with gag items like buzzers and those gum packs with the slings inside. Who still uses those? I stopped using those juvenile prank toys in the fifth grade. Right when I moved on to big boy pranks.

But if they find them to be fun, then by all means. Just don't try to fool me. It's impossible.

I'm dreading lunchtime. Spinelli and the others caught me lighting fires last Saturday. They're going to question me about it. Bet Francis told them that I bought a shitload of matches from him. I got tired of running out of them as fast as I was, so I bought a lot at once.

They're not going to believe that, are they? It's worth a shot. Now, to make up a story about lighting that fire...

I already told them about my pyromania. They're going to hop on that and assume I'm going back to my old ways.

I'd be lying if I said I wasn't.

It's getting harder for me to stop. I shouldn't have lit the first one. It was a slippery slope after that ONE fire. I keep telling myself that when I need to clear my head I would do anything except that. Anything. I told myself that I would go down to the kickboxing gym in town, or talk to JoJo, or listen to music, but no. I go right back to lighting the fire down by the lake because that's all I think about.

When I got to my first period class, I made sure to pick a seat away from Gretchen. I'd rather take all their questions in at once than have them sprinkled out during the day. Gives me time to come up with an excuse.

Let's see...

You would assume that people would stop all the things they were doing to each other when they came into the class, but they're not. Calm down, people. It's not like it's April Fools Day!

...

Is it April Fool's Day?

Pulling out my phone, I checked the date.

It is April Fool's day. My favorite holiday. I should celebrate.

No, I shouldn't. It'll end up getting out of control like the fire. Putting the two of them together...no.

All hell would break loose.

"Go ahead, celebrate. Have a little fun, before that brat is brought into the world."

'No, Alex. Go away.'

"C'mon. One prank isn't gonna hurt anyone. It's April Fools day. You're supposed to pull pranks. Blame it on the holiday."

'No. I'm not gonna do it. It's bad enough that I can't stop lighting fires...'

"I'm not telling you to light the school on fire, though that would be on hell of a prank. I'm telling you to cause of mischief. Unscrew a few nails of peoples desks, put some fireworks in their lockers, pull a fire alarm! Something!"

'For the third time, no. I'm not doing anything today.'

No matter how many times I say no to him, Alex keeps pressing me to starting doing pranks again. It's tempting to make everyone jump in fear like I promised I would when I got out on parole, but I wouldn't be right. I'd get in trouble, then that's one strike against me going back, not to juvie, but to prison to serve the rest of my sentence. I'm not leaving. I can't. My girlfriend is having a baby. I'm a year away from graduating, and possibly going to college.

I have a little brother that needs and looks up to me. I'm not ruining that because Alex is an asshole. It's not worth it. Through my next four classes, Alex wouldn't let up about the issue, giving me reason after reason to do it. I ignore him, and he gets louder, showing no sign of giving up.

I wish I was home. He doesn't say a word when I'm playing with Duracell and her babies.

I need to tell Mr. Simmons before this gets out of hand.

Before I got to my third period class, I ran into Ashley. I spotted a joybuzzer in her hand. To keep her happy, I let her use it on me, even if it didn't hurt; you become immune to that after constant use for years. It made her smile, so it was worth it.

Lunch had to come eventually. I saved myself the trouble and sat at the same table.

"You guys must have a million and one questions to ask me," I said sitting down. "Let's go. Question one."

"What the hell are you doing lighting fires?" Gus blurted out. Calm down Gus, you look like you're about to have a panic attack. Or recovering from one.

"Stress relief. It calm my nerves."

"That's great for you," He yelled. "But the rest of us are debating whether or not we should carry a fire extinguisher in our backpacks."

"You're overreacting—"

"Overreacting? Overreacting? You, the person whose responsible for lighting Third Street Elementary on fire, burning 20 of the students including Spinelli, gets spotted lighting a fire, and I'M OVEREACTING?" Gus, take a Prozac, please.

I didn't say anything for a few minutes. I gave him a moment to calm himself down. Alright, his anger (and that little bit of fear I hear in his voice) is justified. He has the right to be pissed that I'm lighting fires. I still think he's overreacting. I don't think I'm a danger, at the moment at least. I feel as if I'm mostly a danger to myself right now.

"Why'd you by the giant box of matches?" Gus asked after calming down.

"'Cause I got tired of running out of them and I hate lighters. You can't," I paused and pulled out the single box I had with me out of my pocket. I took one match out and struck it, causing a flame to roar to life. "Do that with a lighter. You see how that roared when I lit it? Lighters can't do that. I love that little roar it does." I let go of the match right as the flame reached the bottom and ended on its own.

"That's even more of a reason not to!"

"Calm down, Gus."

"The fucking psychopath is telling ME to calm down, that's rich. Well excuse the fuck out of me for panicking. I'm all wrong. I'll just have one of your antipsychotics that you forgot to take."

"You're not wrong, just overreacting. I'm not going to hurt anyone with this," I said, lighting another match. Now, I had the attention of most of the lunchroom. "It makes me feel good to watch fire. So much so that if I describe what it's like to you, all of you will find it sickening."

"Try us."

"Okay, but you're asking for it," I said, lighting my third match. "It's like the best sex you ever had, ten times over, while dropping the highest grade of acid you can find. Honestly, sometimes I would rather light fires than have sex, simply because it feels better and it's more satisfying to watch fire burn and tear its way through everything. You all fear it because of all the damage it can do but you still use it every single day. You can't live without it, but it can take your life away and keep growing. And when it's huge, it's the most beautiful thin in the world. It dances and the colors! You can be amazed at all the different colors it can be depending on what it's burning. It reminds mean of myself, like when we were younger and I was more sane, how the whole playground always depended on me to come up with some plan when things got bad, but if the situation was right I could be their worst enemy. Do you understand what I'm trying to say here?" I looked up from the sixth match I lit to see their reaction.

….

They looked horrified, all wide-eyed and mouths agape.

"It's not as bad as it seems. I had it in control up 'til now."

"So what the hell changed?" Vince asked. I shrugged.

"I've been under a lot of stress since I found out that Ashley's pregnant. It was actually the day I found out that I started again," I told them. "I was….two years…sober. Sober is the only word I have. It doesn't look like I'm going to be able to stop on my own. Last time I stopped I had something to distract me."

"What was it?" Gretchen asked.

"I started prostituting," I said, thinking back. "Made a lot of money that way. Faster than dealing drugs. But, yeah, I'm not doing to light the school on fire. "There was a moment of silence before one of them spoke up.

"You said that the last time," Mikey said quiet.

"Before what?"

"Before you lit the elementary school on fire. Then it happened on the same day," Gus said. "How are we supposed to trust you?"

"I'm not asking you to trust me. I'm only answering your questions," I told them as I stood out of my seat. "I'm not lighting the school on fire, okay? No reason to worry." I left them behind and walked back into the hallway. Passing a trashcan, I reached inside and pulled Randall out without saying a word. Why doesn't he have better hiding spots? Isn't that like rule number one or two? I dragged him outside of the school to my usual spot where I smoke. No one's around, that's why I like it.

"Any information on Ralphie yet?"

"Not much. Only that his family moved around a lot when he was younger. Living here was the longest time he stayed in one place," Randall said. "Before, he only stayed in one place for about 6 months. Weird. I'm searching for more information, but I feel like I'm running in circles."

"Why would you need to move around that much?" I mumbled. "What does his parents do?"

"Dad is an accountant, Moms a nurse, nothing out of the ordinary, or would warrant moving around that much. I'll keep looking and let you know if I find anything else. This is all I have."

"Thanks. A couple things, though."

"What?"

"Do you want a bunny? My rabbit had babies three weeks ago, and I'm giving them away except two. I have one left over and I need to find her a home."

"I'm not really good with animals—"

"At least come meet her. She's extra friendly. You might like her."

"If you say so. But I'm telling you, I'm not good with animals," He said. "They attack me. Spinelli's dog bit me one time. I'll come over on Friday. I'm busy until then."

"Trust me. She's gonna love you. Last thing, I need you to tell me where I can find a screwdriver, into the biology lab, and the girl's locker room. "

~*~V~*~

Picking Zack up, I tossed him into the air, caught him, and began to tickle him, sending him into a fit of giggles. He came home from daycare looking a bit upset, so I wanted to cheer him up. I laid him down on my bed and kept tickling him, keeping that smile on his face. I laughed along with him, having as much fun as he is.

….

I could do this. If I had a kid of my own, I could do this. I love moments like this, making him happy.

I should have a baby this soon, though. I should only have moments like this with Zack, because he's my brother, not my child.

"Zack, do you mind telling me why you were sad when you came home?" I asked after we both caught our breath and were sitting on the floor.

"Valarie doesn't want to be friends with me anymore 'cause I divorced her," Zack said, sadness returning him. "She's mad at me."

"I'm sorry Zack. Maybe she needs space right now. She might be your friend again one day."

"But I don't want her to be mad at me! And I don't wanna be married either!"

"All you can do is waiting Zack. It's hard, but there's nothing else you can do." He folded his arms and pouted. This situation with him has gotten out of hand, but it seems to be coming to an end.

Hope he doesn't get 'remarried' until he's 25.

"Cheer up, Zack. It'll get better soon."

"I hope so. Can we play with the bunnies now?" I nodded and went to let the rabbits out of their cage. All their ears have lopped, but they are still small. They each fit comfortably in the pal of my hand. Duracell looks like a giant next to them and she's a small breed of rabbit. I have to keep a quick eye on Speedy. He hops so fast it's unbelievable. Yesterday I let them out, and he ran for it. It took an hour to catch him. Each time I got close, he lived up to his name and avoided me. He stopped when he ran into Zack's room and landed in a case of watercolor paint Zack was using. Had to wash the colors out. He stays still when he's wet.

While I watched Zack play with Thing One and Thing Two, his rabbits, I thought back to the second half of the school day.

~*~FLASHBACK~*~

"Hold on, don't go there," I said, pulling Theresa away from the door to the locker room.

"Why not?" She asked.

"'Cause I'm looking out for you, that's why," I said, looking over her for Ashley, Spinelli and Gretchen. When they came over, I pulled them aside too. "It'll only be for a minute, promise."

"What's this all about?" Spinelli asked. "We gotta get dressed before the bell rings. The coach is a dick if everyone's not out here on time."

"Only for a minute. Just be patient." They didn't have to wait a minute. Twenty seconds past and as they were beginning to lose their patience, screams were heard from the locker room and the girls came running out. I laughed. The girls looked at me with questioning expression. "Don't look at me like that. I saved you all the hassle."

"TJ, what did you do?" Spinelli asked, using her thumb and index finger to rub her forehead.

"All I did was put frogs in their lockers," I said, putting on the most innocent look I could. "You girls overreact over everything…..I'm celebrating the holiday. Harmless fun. I didn't put one of those frogs that could kill you by just looking at you."

I walked away from them, satisfied with my 'stunt'. Gym went by fast. I wanted to get to my next class. I sat in my desk and watched everyone else come in. Class stared just like it does every day. Teacher stands up, writes on the board and begins the lecture. Ten minutes into the class, I heard the creeks of the chairs. Five minutes later, their chairs began to collapse one-by-one, minus my chair and Ashley's. Don't want to hurt a pregnant lady. I unscrewed a few crucial bolts to their desks, but in a particular way. When they fell, how the chair collapses, they're stuck and can't get out.

And it's funny as hell.

~*~END FLASHBACK~*~

"See? You have fun when you listen to me," Alex hissed. "You should do it more often."

'I shouldn't have done it today,' I thought. '…you're right, though. It was fun.'

"And what's wrong with having fun? You have that right."

'It was for April Fools day only.'

"Can you sit there and tell yourself you can contain this for one day of the year? Honestly? Don't forget how fucking hilarious to watch those pranks go through….and to watch them suffer too."

'Shut-up! They weren't suffering, and if they were, I wouldn't enjoy it. I don't enjoy watching people suffer.'

"Bullshit, Detweiller. You did it all the time before you were sentenced. Remember the revenge prank with the rats and roaches and explosions and fireworks? They were all suffering and you laughed your ass off. Just like today."

'You're a sick bastard, Alex.'

"Coming from you of all people. I'll leave the little psycho alone with his thoughts." And with that, Alex disappeared.

….I didn't make them suffer. Harmless pranks, no one was hurt and I had fun. That's all I want to do: have fun.

My definition of fun.

Looks like trouble is brewing.

I start school next Monday! I'm going to be exhausted with classes for me running from 8 a.m. to 9:30 p.m. Good thing that's only Mondays. Not sure when the next update will happen but it will.

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