++++++ I do not own the Walking Dead or any affiliated characters apart from my OC's ++++++

Thirty-Three

For the first time in months I found that I had slept through the night.

When I woke up the following morning, Rick was still sound asleep and breathing gently on my neck and he held me close to him. I couldn't help but smile at the whole situation, I've wanted this for such a long time that I never thought-not once-that it would be a reality. In my mind I would have been content to stay like this in the perfect little world that we had created but Judith started to grizzle for her morning feed.

Carefully I pealed Rick's arm off my waist and slowly sat up as not to wake him before I got to my feet. I quickly pulled my underwear and my shirt on then I picked up Judith who immediately started pulling at my hair which made me think how desperately I needed a haircut. Giving a quick look at Rick, I ducked out of the cell and made my way down to the cell that I had heard Beth set up for Judith and the kids. The formula was sitting next to one of those gas stoves so as I turned the gas on and lit it up, I rocked Judith in my arm and started singing a nursery rhyme my mother used to sing to me when father wasn't home. "Hush-a-bye, don't you cry, go to sleep, my little baby, when you wake, you shall have all the pretty little horses, dapples and greys, pintos and bays, all the pretty little horses…"

"Mum used to sing that to us," Matthew frowned as he came into the cell. "You remember?"

I nodded. "That's why I'm singing it to Judith."

"You would have been a great mum," Matthew teased, "but hey, in our fucked up family kid would have been drilled a soldier." He sighed, "you should have gotten out whilst you had the chance sis."

I shrugged. "Not that easy, Matt. You know that. I rebelled, did drugs, slept around, got arrested but dad got his way in the end and forced me to sign up-I just didn't think I'd be good at it that's all."

"Good at what?" Matthew inquired. He came in and sat down on the bed, offering to take Judith so I could finish her bottle.

"Killing," I replied nonchalantly, adding the formula to the warm water. I hoped that I was doing this right because I had no idea what the hell I was doing.

Matthew sighed. "You're a natural leader sis, I know it, dad knew it, John knows it which is why he used to torture you so badly. Speaking of," he announced, changing the subject, "have you heard from mum and dad?"

I nodded, testing the milk on my arm like I had seen Ebony do with Jade a million times. "Yeah-I did. It was before I got pulled back into active duty. I got a phone call from dad-they were on that cruise, he said that another passenger had bitten mum and almost ripped her arm off-I freaked and tried to ask him anything and everything but the phone cut off when I heard dad call out mum's name and some kind of snarling in the background followed by dad screaming. Than the phone died and when it rang again it was my unit commander." I took Judith off Matthew and settled down to start feeding her.

Matthew sighed. "That sucks…I was hoping that they'd be ok. Just like I hope Theo, Jacob and Kevin are ok."

I shrugged again. "They were all stationed at the same base, and Iran is hot-these things don't do so well in arid heat."

Matthew stood up and roughed my hair up. "I'm gonna go rustle up some grub-see if I can hunt some food for us. You keep playing domestics."

"Drop dead," I told him with a scowl. "Give me ten and I'll come with you!" I shouted after him. As he left laughing, I continued feeding Judith until she wouldn't take anymore formula, afterwards I burped her and changed her diaper just like I had seen Ebony do with Jade. I was about to return Judith back to Rick when I heard him and Herschel talking in hushed tones outside Rick's cell.

"I see you and PJ stepped your relationship up a bit last night," Herschel pointed out. "Rick…are you sure you're doing to right thing?"

Silence.

Rick sighed. "I feel guilty-Herschel-I really do. There's no doubt about that."

I felt my heart sink down to the bottom of my stomach.

"Guilty about what?" Herschel inquired. "Sleeping with PJ so soon after Lori passed?"

Silence.

"No," Rick replied. "I feel guilty that I don't feel guilty about sleeping with her. I thought that I would be consumed with guilt over it but I don't. Hell, I don't even feel that guilty about the fact that Lori only died four days ago…what kind of a man does that make me, Herschel?"

I shook my head, no longer wanting to hear any more of this conversation, I cleared my throat to announce myself then started downstairs. "Morning," I smiled, handing Judith back over to Rick. "She's been fed, I'm going to go hunting with Matthew."

Herschel looked at us. "I'll leave you both to it."

Damn him, I muttered. Wise old know-it-all.

I held my hand up before Rick could say anything and I shook my head. "Don't start Rick. I told you that you should have just let it go if this was how everything was going to play out." I spun around and legged it back up to my cell to get dressed and arm myself.

When I came out, Rick was waiting for me at the bottom of the stairs. "I don't regret it," he told me in a matter-of-fact tone. "I should feel guilty about sleeping with you so soon after Lori died but I don't."

I stood there silently.

"That's what I'm worried about," he continued. "I'm worried that I don't feel bad about it at all. She was the mother of my children and I don't feel bad that we're together."

"So we're together?" I asked him.

Rick nodded. "I like to think we are."

I paused and nodded. "We are…listen…we can talk when I get back-like just sit and talk. We have to do it."

Rick leant in and kissed me for a while before he let me go. "Good hunting," he smiled.

I gave him a half assed salute before slipping out from underneath him and making my way out to the courtyard and Matthew. The two of us where let out of the gate by Carol who Matthew flashed a flirty wink at. I stared at him and elbowed him in the ribs. "What the fuck?" I asked him with a grin.

Matthew shrugged. "We talked about pretty much everything when we did duty-she's a good woman-sings your praises for rescuing her daughter back on the farm."

"Just doing my job," I shrugged.

He shook his head. "No you're not-you're doing what comes naturally."

I laughed and shook my head.

We spent the rest of the hunt in utter silence, taking down a combined catch of three rabbits, one baby boar and two owls. We were contemplating whether to go back to the prison or carry on for another hour or so when we hear machine gun fire.

The two of us launched into action and bolted back to the prison.

By the time we got out to the road, Matthew and I found ourselves stopped by John and Michael.

"Two choices, Velox, Calculo," John spoke to us, calm and collected. "You come with us or you stay and die here."

I didn't need to think about it. "We're staying."

Matthew nodded.

Michael glared at his brother. "I thought you always had my back."

Matthew shook his head. "You're a fucking crazy psychopath when you're around the Governor and John. I'm staying. These people have done nothing!"

A truck sped past us, blowing up a large cloud of dust. By the time it cleared, John and Michael were gone.

Matthew and I took off at a run back towards the prison.

When we found the familiar prison yard, the front gate had been knocked down and the front yard was full of walkers and the truck that had past us earlier. I scanned the yard and froze when I saw Rick pinned against the fence and surrounded by walkers.

Michael pulled me back when I screamed. "NO!" he shouted, pulling me away from the gathering walkers. "PHIL NO!"

"RICK!" I screamed at the top of my lungs, getting the dead's attention.

A walker grabbed at Rick and leant in to bite down on him….everything slowed down…I slipped out from Michaal's arms and ran towards Rick just as a crossbow bolt flew past me and hit the walker in the head. I spun around mid-run and saw Daryl burst out of the bushes with someone I took to be his brother behind him. I notched an arrow in my bow and turned back around as Daryl came up beside me.

"You done screaming like a girl?" Daryl growled at me, loading another bolt.

"I am a girl," I replied sarcastically before the four of us launched ourselves into the fight.