Chapter 7: The World's Worst First Kiss
I have had all-nighters before, at slumber parties and summer camp, but neither had been as exhausting as last night. I probably should have been thankful that I had slept through most of the previous day or I may have been in a worse state. But the happenings of the last day only left me unprepared for what the night brought.
When Paws and I heard Anubis' scream, we immediately ran after him. We found him at the foot of the stairs, his body crumpled on the floor. He was screaming in agony, writhing on the floor in horrid pain. I knelt down by his side, not sure what to do let alone what was wrong. Paws was just as useless as me, yelping and whimpering as he panted around us. Deciding that watching wasn't accomplishing anything, I grabbed his arm and tried to get his attention. "Anubis! What's wrong? Where does it hurt?"
Then I noticed where he was clutching his hands. His shirt crumpled in his fists. Over his heart. I didn't know if gods could have heart attacks. Whatever it was, it was something I couldn't see. This problem was way out of my league to help with. He jerked violently and his head slammed into the stair's bottom step. I quickly decided I should try and move him.
I attempted to lift him up but it was difficult. Anubis was moving so much himself. He seemed completely unaware of anything outside his pain. I forced his arm around my shoulder, my other hand supporting his other side, and tried to stand up with him. How much does this kid weigh? I had thought that he being my size would mean he couldn't possibly weigh much more than me. I could barely stand with him weighing me down and I was met with the dilemma of walking with him.
Paws came to my rescue. At first he terrified me. He bit Anubis' leg and started to pull on him. His pull on him only added to the struggle his writhing was causing. I gritted my teeth as I felt my knees buckle. Then the weight started to ease. I looked over to see Anubis' eyes open. He was focusing on Paws and he started to move his own feet. Although I was still supporting him, the task became much easier. We managed to get in his room, but he collapsed two feet from his bed. Unprepared, I crumpled to the floor under his weight. Knowing I couldn't lift him, I started shaking him. "It's only a couple of steps. Focus!" He roused and staggered the extra steps. He fell into his sheets, his cries becoming more intense. I pulled at his sheets trying to make him more comfortable. When I finished, I had nothing left to do.
As I watched him, ideas began to formulate the cause of his pain. I may have had it wrong. Although I was sure his heart was the source, it may not be a natural cause. I wondered with dread if the canopic jar I gave him started this. Perhaps it hadn't been his heart, but poison within the jar. Maybe my GPS wasn't really targeting his heart pieces but the physical jars. I could be the cause of yet another tragedy. I couldn't face this.
I got up thinking of getting to a phone or a hospital; someplace he could get some help. A cold balmy hand grabbed my wrist. I turned to see Anubis' haggard face watching me. "I'm fine… This… is normal… Don't leave…"
So I stayed by his side the whole night. Paws was able to bring me damp towels to wipe the sweat from his face with. He then lay at the end of the bed and watched Anubis with puppy eyes. It was an hour before Anubis' shouts turned to moaning. An hour and a half after that there was only the occasional groan. I whipped his face clean, held his hand, and whispered reassuring words through it all. It was all I could do. I don't know how much of a difference this may have had. Maybe he didn't notice at all. There was one moment when jolted awake with a short cry; he gazed at me for the longest time. There were no words or much of an expression on his face. He just watched me till sleep took him again.
Even while he slept I stayed at his bedside. I couldn't find it in me to sleep. I just sat in the dark and listened to Paws and Anubis' slow breathing. I did notice in these silent hours that Anubis' breathing was very drawn out, especially compared to Paws. A couple of times I thought he had stopped breathing only to hear his inhale a second later. I rested my fingers on his wrist where I could feel his faint pulse after a couple of scares.
The night was long. As though I hadn't had enough to deal with already my mind wandered back to the small village by the Amazon River. I wondered if they had buried the two men yet and what sort of ceremony they performed. Whatever it was, I hoped it was extravagant. They deserved the most. I hoped Anubis was a comfort to them. That he was able to make the families feel proud of their service to the gods. I hoped he made things seem less horrifying than they actually were.
My whole body sagged as morning rolled around. I was starting to forget how to blink, my eyes staying shut till I gathered the will to open them. During one of my blinks I felt something brush away the hair in my face. I slowly urged my eyes open to find a pair of copper eyes looking into mine. The meaning of the eyes came slowly to me. These eyes are open. They belong to a person. The person is Anubis. Anubis is awake. "Mornin'," I drawled.
His face contorted into something I didn't know. There was a name for it, but my brain couldn't figure out what it was. His left hand started rubbing the hand that held his through the night. For a strange reason, the feeling of life coming back to my fingers fascinated me. He stared at our hands as he spoke.
"I'm sorry. I should have warned you before. The rejoining of my heart is… a painful process. I wish I could say I was used to it now."
This should have had more meaning to me, but I was beyond the point of comprehending much. Only one senseless detail stayed with me. "That's the first time you've said 'sorry' to me."
His eyes widened and the contorted expression deepened. "Sorry…" he repeated as he pulled his hand away. "You should sleep. You look horrible." He rolled over with his back to me. I ended up in my room without remembering how I got there. I fell asleep within seconds.
Our journey continued on. The next day I briefly saw Anubis with Paws in the bridge. They were revising our traveling route with the newfound range of my GPS. I barely had time to greet him before he left. I didn't see much of Anubis after that, not conscious anyway. He had taken to curling up on the sofa for long hours of the day only rising to eat. For a while I left him alone. I didn't push him because my memory of the expression he gave me when he said 'sorry' finally had a name.
Guilt.
That smiling boy I once knew was now gone. For better company, I started spending most of my time with Paws. As I got to know him more, I understood what Anubis meant by him being highly intelligent for a dog. He was able to communicate with me in a way I've never seen an animal do. With everything I said and asked he would make a gesture to show his response. He could shake and nod 'yes' and 'no', tilt his head as a question, and respond to anything I asked. He sometimes even corrected me when I had misinterpreted him. I could go on telling him stories about myself and I felt a hundred percent sure he understood every word I said. He was good company, but we were both still worried about Anubis.
The responsibility of making sure everyone was fed fell to me. I shopped the outdoor markets with Paws as my guard. I had to cook for three since the dog food had already run out and we weren't due to reach a city for a couple of days. To make my task easier, I gave up on cooking Paws and Anubis' meat. They preferred it raw anyway. It became my routine to leave them their food and escape to the bridge so I wouldn't have to watch them eat.
One evening I left Anubis a cut of beef and steamed vegetables by the sofa. We hadn't spoken at all since I stayed up through the night with him. His head was buried under his blanket so I assumed he was sleeping. I got up to leave but something tugged on my sleeve. I looked back and saw Anubis' eyes were peaking out of the covers, his hand clasped on my shirt. Despite his hours of seclusion, he looked sleep deprived and ill. His skin was nearly white except for the dark bruises under his eyes. His hair was a wreck that pointed in every direction. But this was nothing to the torment in his eyes. It scared me.
As though he were desperate, he blurted out, "I'm sorry, Nakia!"
I stared at him in confusion. I didn't know what he was talking about, but the amount of grief in his voice made me feel sympathetic to him. I sat on the edge of the seat and rubbed the blanketed mass reassuringly. "It's okay," I said softly. "I understand. You don't need to worry about me."
"No, you don't understand," he replied in anguish. "I knew. I knew the whole time the people in that house were going to die. But I didn't do anything. I just wanted to get the jar. I left them to die. I left you to die! It's all my fault!"
He buried his face in his hands and curled into himself. I froze when the meaning hit me. My parents. Anubis was there and he knew they were going to die. He had thought I would die too. But he chose the jar over us. Could he have done anything to save us? I remembered how Anubis had once told me he had not intentionally saved me. At the time, I had not thought of extending that to my parents. I never thought that he had left them to die. But, oddly, I couldn't blame him for what happened like he was. Everything happened so quickly that night. I didn't think either of us knew what would happen. He knew the result, but not the how. He was a mighty god, but right now all I could see was a vulnerable child who's seen more than he could handle.
"Do you know how the explosion happened?" I asked. He shook his head, never removing his hands from his face. "We were supposed to grill burgers the day before. The grill wouldn't work and my dad thought the new kerosene tank he bought was the problem. He bought another one the next day, but it still wasn't working. He put the grill and kerosene tanks in the garage intending to fix it the next day. We cooked the burgers in a pan instead." I laid my head back remembering being spattered with sour cream and the catsup Eye of Horus.
"They said the wiring was faulty. It started to spark with a kerosene tank still hooked up to it. The garage had two full kerosene tanks as well as two vehicles with full tanks of gas. Our house was small enough that it was completely engulfed in minutes." Glowing fire. My life, my future, all burned in its flames.
He didn't move at all so, after a moment, I continued. "I never blamed you. I still don't. You can't be blamed for faulty wiring. You were more concerned about the jar being destroyed. Between that and a couple of strangers, I can understand your choice."
"It doesn't make it right," he mumbled.
"No, but you still saved me. You managed to get one thing right, even if it was by accident. Thank you."
He pulled his hands away. He didn't look completely convinced. If anything some of his guilt was replaced with weariness. "I don't deserve it."
"Yes you do, and you shouldn't keep moping around like this. A death god can't go around saving everyone."
He sighed and said, "I know. The best I can do is to give them an afterlife." The words flowed from him as though they had been repeated many times before. He pulled up his knees and rested his head on them. "I wish I had my brother's job."
"You're brother's Horus, right?" As I said the words a connection formed in my head. I slapped myself at my stupid forgetfulness. "Duh! Of course. Don't I feel like an idiot."
Anubis peaked over his knees. "You shouldn't. Most people don't know that much."
"Not that," I said. "I couldn't remember who Osiris and Isis' son was. For a while I thought it was you until Thoth corrected me. I just remembered it was Horus. Stupid, stupid…" I ground my head in my agitation.
Anubis looked a bit confused now. "It's not that important. You could have just asked me."
"No!" I exclaimed. "That would have meant surrender! I knew I knew it. I just couldn't think of it." Aware of how confusing I sounded, I rushed to a topic change. "Forget my stupid brain lapse. What does your brother do?"
"He's the king of men. He takes leadership roles and actually saves people." Bad topic change. His shoulders slumped and he was back to grieving.
"Sounds boring," I said with nonchalance. I managed to pull a smile from him. It wasn't the same as his old smile, but I wasn't going to be picky. He replied, "Horus says the same thing. To him the only fun thing in life is beating up Set."
"And blowing up libraries," I added.
He shook his head. "He's such a child. He's determined to always be on Thoth's bad side."
"Does everyone call him a child?"
"Yeah. It was originally to distinguish him from Uncle Horus. He was named after him, but it got confusing so we stared calling them Horus the Elder and Horus the Child, or Big Horus and Little Horus. He hates being called a child, though. We'd probably drop the name if he didn't act like one."
"You don't seem to mind his behavior." I had noticed he had a small smile as he spoke about him.
"He doesn't blow up my graveyards," he responded. The emotion slipped from him. I realized with a pang of guilt that I was more comfortable with his guilty face than his blank one. Ashamed, I turned away and pushed his food to him. "Go ahead and eat. I'll be in the bridge if you need me."
"'Kay," he replied.
I had hoped after we had talked he would improve. But nothing really changed, other than me understanding what was wrong. I couldn't stand seeing him always sulking on the couch. I could barely be in the room with him. He was the thing in the room that no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't keep my eyes from wondering back to him. I kept myself in the bridge and, for the first time since I left, I started to miss my home.
It was after I had made a shopping trip in Paraguay that I heard Anubis speak again. I had stumbled on a vendor while shopping selling grilled meat he called 'avado'. I savored the citrus taste in the tender pork while I shared it with Paws. It would have been an ordinary day huddled in the bridge together until Anubis walked in. He had his blanket wrapped around him and he looked dead on his feet.
"Paws, make a stop at Iguazu falls." Paws barked obediently. I bit my lip.
"We don't have to—"
"It was our agreement," he said and quickly left. He hadn't forgotten I wanted to visit the sites. I wanted to go, really. It was the place I was thinking of when I made that deal. This place was important to my parents. But Anubis wasn't in any condition to travel. I had counted on him being too out of it to notice the places we passed. I knew there would be no negotiations over this, so I bit my last piece of avado and left to prepare.
I had finished getting ready when I went back upstairs. On the couch, where he always was these days, Anubis was curled up in his blanket. I suddenly had enough of his brooding. I grabbed his blanket and ripped it off of him. Before he could even look at me I shouted, "You are not going to lay here and leave me and Paws to take care of ourselves! You are going to go downstairs, get showered and dressed, and you are coming to the falls with us and you better enjoy yourself, damn it!" I threw the blanket at him and stormed out the room. Fifteen minutes later, Anubis came for us cleaned and looking slightly better, but still pale and sickly looking.
We got off in the forested area several feet from the main path. We had to casually enter the path without anyone seeing us. Although our entrance went unnoticed, Paws was drawing a lot of attention. Sour faced adults tutted the unleashed dog while children pointed with sequels of excitement. One look from Anubis and everyone pretended we didn't exist.
We could hear the falls before seeing them. We came around a bend and on the other side of the trees was the awesome view. The waterfall towered high in the sky gushing tons of water. Green patches of plants and trees were imbedded in the falls dividing it into their own separate waterfalls. Across the water shone a rainbow that never disappeared. It was beautiful and powerful, like I had never seen anything of greatness in the world until now.
I couldn't keep my eyes off the sight so I was surprised when we came to a large clearing. It was packed with tourists. There were stands selling food and souvenirs, tour guides giving long repeated speeches to groups of tourists, and paths branching off to lifts you could ride to the top. I found a place with maps and I quickly grabbed one for myself.
My heart sank when I surveyed it. There were three trolleys you could take to the top, but which one was the right one? I could remember no mention of a specific path. Disappointment filled me when I knew I would never find the spot I was looking for. The ones who could tell me were gone and I would never know.
A group of laughing people passed by, one of them shoved me sharply. I hadn't expected it since that was the side Anubis had been walking on. I spun around but there were only unfamiliar faces. "Anubis?" I called out. No one came. I wondered around the sea of people, becoming more panicked. I started to feel smaller and smaller, a lost child shuffling through the tall legs with faceless grown-ups, crying for the name I couldn't find.
Leaping through their legs came a black-and-white bundle of fur. "Paws!" I shouted. He bounded to me barking in a whinny tone. "Where's Anubis?" He pointed his muzzle to the left and ran into the crowd. I followed his tail. There were gasps and shrieks of surprise as we forced our way through them. A family in front of us walked away revealing him. He was sitting on his knees staring at the pavement. He was still as a statue. He had no life in his face and his whole body was limp. I kneeled in front of him, parting his bangs to see his face. "Anubis?" I asked hesitantly. He didn't respond at all. It was as though he wasn't there anymore. His voice from a long ago conversation rang in my mind. 'It was like being in darkness. I wasn't really aware of myself or anything around me.' I waved my hand in his eyes, poked him and then shook him. He never noticed. I was scared, but I didn't know what to do. I threw his arm around my shoulder, the same way I had the night he screamed in pain, and dragged him to a bench. Away from the crowd, I tried to bring him from his state. "Anubis? Can you hear me?" He held his blank gaze to the ground never moving. Paws was whimpering, nuzzling his nose to his hand.
"Watch him for a second, Paws." I went to a food stand that read 'Chippa' on it. I bought two hot biscuits and came back. I tried to give Anubis the food, but his eyes stared unfocused. Defeated, I slunk back in the bench and ate the cheesy bread. It was chewy underneath its crusty surface, but I could barely focus on eating. Too helpless to care, I started rambling even though he wasn't listening.
"Did you know my parents met here? Of all the places for two Americans to meet they did it on the other side of the Earth. My father was serving in Argentina and came here on one of his days off. My mother was on vacation with her parents. They met somewhere up there." I pointed to the top of the waterfall. Only Paws looked.
"My mother had run ahead of her parents. She climbed up a rung of the fence and was leaning over it just because she was told not to. It was wet. She slipped and fell into the water. The current swept her to the falls, but my father saw her. He wrapped his legs around a post and stretched out his whole body to reach her. He saved her life. From then on my mother sent letters to my father till he came back to the states. They fell in love and got married."
I pulled out the crumpled map I had thrown in my pocket. I smoothed it out on my legs. "I wanted to find that spot where my mother fell. It had to be one of the paths at the top. But there are three of them. Even if we went to each one, I will never know which spot they met at." I crushed the map in my hands. "If only they could have brought me here before they died."
A tug to my arm yanked me from the bench. I was propelled forward by this force, my feet stumbling to get bearing. I looked forward. Anubis' back was to me, his hand pulling me by my wrist. We climbed a path full of steps that weaved until we were at a wire pulled car. I was drug to a window seat where I sat trying to catch my breath. Paws climbed over me to stick his head out of the window and Anubis sat next to me, breathing evenly.
"Get out of the way, Paws!" I pushed him till he sat by the window and my lap was free. From my fist I smoothed out the nearly destroyed map. "Which path is this?" I asked. Anubis pointed to the middle path. "What makes you think this one?" He looked away, his face blank but no longer dead.
We rode the trolley to the top. When we came to a stop, Anubis grabbed my wrist again as though I would get lost. The path was made in an island that stood in the falls. To the right were a metal fence and a swift river. The island was long and narrow. Anubis walked brusquely towing me behind him. He soon let go of me when the river's end came into view. He sped ahead and pointed to a spot in the river.
"There is where she fell." A question was at the tip of my tongue but Anubis quickly continued down the path. Memorizing where he pointed, I followed him. He stopped at a spot close to where the water fell over the edge. He waited till I caught up to him. "Your father was here." He pointed to the edge of the waterfall past the point where the path ended. "I was over there. I was waiting for her at the edge, to scoop her soul the moment she fell. She was to die from the fall, so I saw no point of making her live through those last seconds. But then your father pulled her from the water. I left without the soul I was promised." He stepped close to me and focused his eyes into mine. They were old but fierce with a power in them I had never seen. I was sure if it were dark out, they would be glowing.
"They were destined to meet each other. Only fate could have allowed her to escape me."
Anubis started to come back to life after our trip. He still took his naps, but they were shorter and he would spend his times awake with us. I started to spend my time in the living room even when Anubis was sleeping. I didn't think of home anymore and instead focused on the trips we had planned.
There were many places to see this side of South America. We made a stop in Chile at a place with a row of tall statues of faces called Moai. There were many ancient ruins we visited. There were tall fortresses of stone built to protect ancient cities from their enemies. One ruin in the middle of Columbia I couldn't stay at too long. The humid rainforest reminded me too much of the Amazon River. But none of these places were as exciting as our last stop in a country called Peru. There we visited the ruins of Machu Pichu.
It was an ancient city on top of a mountain. Stone walls rose and folded into rooms and stairs too tall for climbing. The buildings were, of course, man-made, but the way the stone and greenery coexisted together made the ruins as one with the Earth as the mountainous peaks around us. As vast as these ruins were, being surrounded by mountains rising into the clouds made me feel very small. I was so high up yet I couldn't even see where the tops of the mountains were.
The last places we had gone to I merely observed without bothering anyone. But here I wanted to learn how this place came to be. We snuck into a group with a tour guide. I think he spoke Spanish but I had no real way of telling. The people who lived here were called Incas. There were many theories why they made this place; for farming, prisoners, worshiping, and many others. The winning theory seemed to be that it was their leader's home away from home. That was a letdown. I would rather believe criminals were tortured to death here than it being the world's first resort.
The place was still religious to them. The stars were important to their beliefs and what better place to do some stargazing than on a mountain? The guide showed us a boulder that was believed to hold the sun on its route through the sky. Anubis snorted behind me and I cracked a grin. I turned and whispered, "What would Ra think to being held in place by a rock?"
Anubis replied, "Don't tell him. He'll destroy the rock."
The guide ended and before the tour guide noticed we didn't belong, we went wondering on our own. It was extremely fun to explore the place. It was like exploring a labyrinth, not knowing what you would find in the next turn. I don't know when I lost Anubis and Paws. I was so engrossed in the ruins that I suddenly noticed no one was with me. I wasn't worried, however. They wouldn't be hard to find, and I wasn't ready to go back yet. I kept exploring. I was now in the smaller rooms where I could imagine people living in these walls. In the light that came in from the door I saw Anubis' shadow walk in. I turned saying, "Isn't this place cool? I can't imagine what –"
It wasn't Anubis at the doorway. He was the same height and age, but he had pale blonde hair, icy blue eyes, and a smile that made shivers crawl down my spine. "You!" I exclaimed in shock and outrage.
The arrogant god leaned on the doorframe and cocked his head. "You don't seem too happy to see me. Were you expecting someone else?"
"I sure as hell wasn't expecting you!"
He started playing with his hair, his eyes focused on his hand and a playful smile on his face. "All this anger because I don't have a jackal head. That really isn't fair."
I didn't want to deal with him. I stormed past him hissing, "Stop following me."
A strong grip held my shoulder in place. No matter how much I shoved I could not move. The god moved in front of me and held my gaze. He was the same height but he still managed to look down on me. "Don't jump to conclusions, mortal. I happened to be in the neighborhood and decided to go on a vacation, just like you. The scenery is beautiful, isn't it?" His voice was mocking. He let me go with a smug smile. I wanted to run, push him off the mountain and roll the giant sun rock on top of him, but I held my ground. If I tried to leave he would stop me and I didn't want his disgusting hands on me.
Either sensing my defeat or revulsion, probably both, he wrapped his arm around my shoulder – 'Anubis needs to teach me how to growl' I thought – and spun me around to face the view of the ruins. "Amazing what wonders mortals can achieve. It can be so easy to assume you creatures are too weak to do anything. This trip has really opened my eyes. Don't you think the same, Nakia?" I could feel him staring at me, but I focused my glare into the distance, my arms crossed in defiance.
"You know," he said with a slight menace in his voice, "these people lived, what, half a millennium ago? It may seem like a long time to you, but what's a millennium or two to a god?" His voice was now a whisper in my ear and made goose bumps creep up my arm. "Would you like to know firsthand what life was like here? I could tell you all about it."
"If I wanted to know, I –" Surprise, anger, repulsion, terror; the emotions slammed into me when I turned to glower at him and his lips met mine. It all lasted only a second before the world disappeared and I ceased to exist.
I am going to die. It's all I can think. I am more terrified than I have been in my life, but I also just want this to end. Let life take me and end my suffering. I have nothing to live for anymore. No family, no tribe nor my king is left for me to serve. If the gods are looking down on me now, I can only pray for them to end me.
The stone walls tower over my crumpled body, but the heavens stretch endlessly in the sky. They are so beautiful, a better sight to die to than my burning village. I am a warrior, yet I ran away. But I knew when I saw the fire weapons the foreign men used to kill my people in seconds that there was no hope. We could never win. So why, Túpac? Why lead us warriors to certain death when we could flee with our lives? Why couldn't you welcome us into your kingdom in the mountains where they would never find us? Why?
I will never be found, but it doesn't matter anymore. I will die anyway. Maybe this is the magic those evil men carry that has deformed my body. I can no longer see my skin. Flat bumps cover every part of me like scales on a fish. The bumps are hard and leak of thick liquids. My body aches and I am too weak to move. I should get water from the channel, but if I had the strength, I fear my reflection. My face is a mask of my disease and no longer mine. I do not want to see the monster that is killing me.
My eyelids no longer wish to stay open. My body has no will to fight. I fear sleep. How many times have I thought death was finally claiming me only to wake into my nightmare? My hope for the end is crushing me, but I can't fight anymore. The world starts slipping and I see a figure standing over me. Is it a man or a dog? I cannot tell. But if he is death, I hope he will be swift.
I was confused to wake up, not only alive, but to have someone's lips kissing mine. I didn't know what was happening, only that I felt very sick. I pushed the person away and ran to a corner to release my stomach. My hands touched my arms, chest, and face but my skin was smooth again. Bile filled my mouth and I let it splatter the ground. My skin was normal again; smooth and soft. But hadn't I just been dying? Am I already dead? It was so real. It had happened so quickly.
Right?
Slowly it comes back to me. I am Nakia. I am a teenage girl, not an Incan warrior. I am not dying. I was visiting Machu Pichu with Anubis and Paws and then I ran into…
"Wasn't their life here amazing?"
I jumped and turned to see cold eyes boring into mine. He was still smiling but it was terrifying. I could not move but watch him as his voice purred, "To think a king would have such a vast kingdom that he could build a palace on a mountain to use at his leisure. Yet when the Spanish came with their guns and cannons, but does he give away his palace so they may live? No. He can't stand the thought to lose his kingdom to another. He sends his people to die and loses everything anyway. Isn't this place cool?" He said mimicking my earlier words. "I can't imagine what life must have been like."
"Who are you?" I asked in a small voice.
His smile widened. "I am Amun, the god of hidden meaning. I hope you will learn from me not to trust things by the way they appear. Your pretty eyes could be deceiving you."
"Nakia?"
Anubis and Paws were up ahead. Amun turned and grinned. "There he is. I was wondering when we would be interrupted." Anubis paid no mind to Amun and held his eyes on me, concern on his face.
"Are you okay?" he asked.
"I'm—" My eyes widened in horror. Amun had walked straight to Anubis and was caressing his cheek. His lips were inches from his face as he slowly traced his jaw line. Anubis never moved or looked at Amun. His only concern was me. And then, with dread, the truth sunk in.
Anubis can't see him.
Amun gave me one more domineering smile and walked away. I was frozen, watching him leave. Anubis looked behind him to see what I was staring at, but his eyes only registered Paws. He turned back, looking confused. "What's wrong?"
I didn't react at first. I was watching. Only until Amun turned a corner and vanished from view could I move again. My hands instinctively rubbed each other as I thought of how to respond. What should I say? Should I tell him? Would he know there is a god he can't see? And how can I explain that when he kissed me I had become an Incan warrior? And when the memories of that warrior played in my mind, I knew I couldn't tell him.
"Nakia?" He was now shaking me now. It was strange how the more worried he grew, the less emotion showed on his face.
"Don't shake me." I meant to sound annoyed but my voice was hollow.
"What's wrong?" he implored. Paws gave a whiny bark seconding his question.
"I… I need to get out of here. Now." I hated how panicked my voice sounded, especially since I felt more numb than scared.
Anubis nodded and started leading us through the ruins. I kept my eyes on the ground. Paws was keeping close to me and I watched his tail smack my leg. If anyone stared at us I wouldn't know. I didn't want to see any of them, but mostly I didn't want to see a pair of icy blue eyes amongst them. When we got into the boat, I went straight to my room. I needed to be alone so I could get a hold of myself.
I had never been truly afraid of a person before. Shy, but not scared. I grew up not seeing a stranger in anyone. That terrified my mother but my father understood. He had said that I could see goodness in everyone, and maybe I could before they had died. But then the accident happened and my world changed into one where people could disappear in a moment. But still I never feared anyone. The world was darker, but I was safe because there were always others who would be there for me.
Until now. Until I met someone who was invisible to the one person who could protect me. If I could really see goodness in anyone, I could not see any in Amun. His eyes were as cold as his heart. His most casual touch made me feel more violated than Anubis seeing me naked. My first kiss, which should have been a memory of first love, was the most terrifying experience in my life. The numbness was fading, and with my fear came a burning anger. I hated him. More so than anyone I have known. Even more than the bullies who drove Andy to suicide and Anubis' heart-stealing mother.
Because he knew. He knew exactly how to get under my skin. He knew what to show me so I would never reveal what had happened to Anubis. That warrior's wish had come true. Death had come, and I knew him. It was the body of the boy I see every day. The face of a dog that had been in my dreams since he had broken into my home. It was the crude drawing of a bizarre god my parents happily pointed to and explained to me. That moment had happened to someone else. I knew that, but because I had lived through it myself I couldn't shake the memory
of Anubis coming forth to deliver my death.
My most embarrassing moment happened during graduation rehearsals from middle school. The teachers had told the students not to cheer, so of course they did. Well, only the popular kids were cheered for, which irritated me. I watched my few friends walk across the stage in silence, and then watched some of the worst of our class celebrated. Andrew had been booed by the celebrated. It was disgusting.
Then it was Keylyn Shin's turn. I had bonded with her during the two years she was in our school. Once she graduated there, she was going back to Korea. I would miss her, but I wanted her to remember us fondly. I wanted her to know we would think of her no matter how far she was. I yelled out a cheer. Alone.
Everyone turned to stare at me. There were no whispers or reprimanding from the teachers. Only 300 pairs of eyes and silence. My face burned and I spent the rest of the ceremony staring at the floor.
But as embarrassing as that was, it was nothing to how awkward it became between Keylyn and me. I had not only embarrassed myself, but her as well. We could never seem to start a conversation after that. The few exchanges we had were painfully polite and filled with long pauses. She left the country without giving me a goodbye.
That was exactly how awkward I felt around Anubis now. When I had made it clear that I didn't want to talk about what happened at Machu Pichu, he didn't bring it up again. But it was always on our mind. Our few exchanges were short, polite, and full of long pauses in between. Sometimes when I would look up from a crossword or from cooking I would catch Anubis quickly looking away. I felt horrible for keeping secrets from him, but more than anything I didn't want to add to his problems. He was still sleeping more than usual from the guilt that was weighing down his heart. Not to mention we still had other heart pieces to find. I would deal with Amun myself and make sure Anubis got his heart back.
For a week we sailed over endless blue oceans. It was cool the first two days to see so much open space. After a while, however, I had enough of everything being blue. I missed green. So when we sailed over the French Polynesia, my face broke into a stupid grin.
We stopped for food, but it was also time to decide where to go next. We were all in the bridge. I had brought with me a giant burlap bag filled with mangos. I was on my fifth mango, enjoying the sweet flavor. Paws was next to Anubis giving me glares for not bringing any meat for him. Anubis had been observing the map for well over half an hour, not saying a word. I was starting to think he had forgotten about me when he waved for me to come over.
"I think it would be best to do two rounds around the Earth. We already have to go back for North America. We might as well divide the countries we search in half to simplify this."
Anubis did a really cool trick. With two fingers tracing the map, the countries he touched would glow and rise from the map making mountains and valleys form. He swiped his hand over the main lands of Asia, Africa, and Europe. "We'll take care of the large chunks of land first." He ran his hand over the map again and all the tiny islands scattered everywhere glowed yellow. "Then we'll take care of the islands on the second time around."
I never realized how many islands there were and many were easy to overlook. His plan was reasonable enough. Even if it took longer, it was better than missing a place where the jar was and not know where we missed it. I studied the green and yellow glowing countries and noticed something.
"I like the idea, but can we go to Japan the first trip?"
"Why?"
"I'm dying from being away from a computer so long. Japan probably has the most advance technology in the world. I want to see if I could find a portable device to play with." I touched the spot where Japan was. I strange sensation ran through my fingers when my hand met. It felt as though cool water was shooting up my arm from under my skin. When I pulled away the small island I had touched changed from yellow to green. "Sorry! Sorry, I didn't mean to do that."
Anubis was looking at the map with a confused expression. Before I could apologize again, he looked at me and asked, "What's a… whatever device?"
"A portable device?" I said taken aback. He nodded now looking curious. "Umm, it's an electronic you can carry with you, like a cell phone or a DS. And I can tell I'm only confusing you more…" It was true. Once I got past 'electronic' his expression became more and more baffled. As the silence stretched, the awkwardness that had plagued us crept back in. My mind stammered till I could think of what to say. "I'll show you when we get there, I guess… We will go to Japan, right?"
Anubis returned his eyes to the map. "You marked it."
"Ok, umm," I stammered, "I think I'm gonna head to bed."
Paws barked in annoyance. Anubis said, "Could you feed paws before you do?"
"Sure," I replied heaving the sack of mangos. "Come on, Paws!" He happily trotted after me.
Night had already fallen. I stared into the stars and found the moon, a small glimmer of light in the sky. I had forgotten till now about the night I saw Anubis' eye color change in the moonlight. I felt like that had happened a century ago rather than a couple of weeks. I wanted to ask him about it, but I knew I wouldn't be able to for a while. There had been a lot of things I've wanted to ask but never did.
I got Paws his food and left him in the kitchen. I was so relieved to see my bed that I fell straight into it. It would have been easy to fall straight to sleep but I didn't. Maybe it was stress from our last trip, but I had managed to fall under the same spell as Anubis. I had been sleeping in more than usual and I have fallen asleep a couple of times in the living room. Sleeping was a lot easier than being awake. Even so, I forced myself to get ready for bed.
With the lights out, I snuggled into my blankets. My ears rang from the silence, but I tried to imagine that our boat was in water and it was the sound of waves crashing against it. I began to sink into sheets and waves, sinking deeper and deeper…
A hand lifts me from the waves. I try to push it away so I can go back to the ocean, but the hand grabs me. I'm disoriented in the water, and then I found blankets and lots of darkness. The only light was two golden eyes staring at me. I blinked trying to focus in the darkness.
"Nakia, wake up," Anubis' voice said.
I rubbed my eyes trying to see the boy in my bed. "What is it?" I asked groggily.
"I need your help with something." It took a moment to understand, and then I was trying to get up. Before I could prop myself on one elbow Anubis' hand grabbed my face. In a whisper he said, "Sleep now. Leave this world behind."
And I slept.