Anonymous said:

I dunno about fluffy prompts for the adoption verse camping trip, but I have one for the car trip home. Who sings along with whatever music they listen to, who picked it out, who has to be coaxed into joining in, what song makes someone lunge for the volumn control, and who has a surprisingly good voice?

Anonymousnerdgirl said:

Gold has a downward spiral following the vacation: scotch, broken glass, and bad memories.

The trip to the airport had involved a lot of singing. They'd had radio singalongs on the way up to the cabin, but the way to the airport had been much, much worse. Everyone seemed to be in a mood of forced cheerfulness, leading to Gold coming damn close to changing the station on a few Taylor Swift songs that Belle insisted on yelling the words to at the top of her lungs. He didn't quite have the heart, though. She was having so much fun teasing Bae into joining her that he couldn't be the one to interrupt their fun, in spite of the fact that the pop music stations seemed to play the same twelve songs on repeat.

He wasn't sure how he was going to go back to his life after all of this. Living with the two of them had been magical, and he just wanted to be a more permanent addition to their lives. She must have sensed his mood darkening as they approached the airport, because he felt her hand slowly come to rest on his shoulder. It wasn't a romantic gesture, but that made it even more heartwarming. She was comforting him for no other reason than because he was upset. It took a lot of willpower to turn into the airport rather than just heading back to the cabin and starting their new lives as recluses.

Still, though, he held it together. They got through airport security fine, and even onto the plane without him having a massive panic attack. Sitting on the plane between Belle and Bae as his son looked out the window as the ground rapidly became further and further away, he realized that this was the last of their family being together like this – at least for a little while. He still hoped that Belle might be willing to take a long weekend over Christmas, but that was months away. How would he be able to get through not waking up with Belle and Bae there for breakfast every morning, or fall asleep without saying goodnight to them first?

"Are you okay?" Belle whispered into his ear once the drink cart had come and gone and Bae was settled with a bag of pretzels and a magazine they'd picked up at a newsstand.

"I'm fine," he said a little too fast – even he could hear how fake he sounded and didn't need to see the look on her face to know she wasn't going to let it go. "It's just going to be strange once we get back home is all."

"Everything will be like it was before," she promised. "We're not going anywhere. And he can sleep over as much as you want, too. We'll just have to make sure we're all on the same page with homework."

He knew she had a point, but somehow splitting custody between them was miles away from sharing custody. That's what he wanted, he realized. He wanted to share Bae with Belle. He wanted them to both be equal parents – regardless of his feelings for Belle, he wanted to be a family. Not partners, but a proper family.

In hindsight, this trip might have been a mistake. He'd teased himself with everything he had never wanted to admit to wanting – Belle and Bae were vital to him, and he desperately wanted to be vital to them as well.

He smiled at her, hoping she would accept that she'd comforted him and leave him be. He just wanted to savor these final moments of happiness with his family. Belle, thankfully, made no move to leave him alone. Instead, she rested her head on his shoulder and hooked her arm through his. He closed his eyes and took a breath and for just that moment allowed himself the bliss of being loved even if it wasn't in the way he really wanted.

His home felt lonelier in the absence of Belle and Bae than it ever had before. Every little thing reminded him of them. The door to Bae's room was left open, taunting him with the warmth it possessed when Bae slept over. His table was where they sat and had brunch on Sundays. He didn't have enough memories of them here yet to comfort him through this.

Deciding to forgo unpacking for now, Gold stormed into his office. He threw open the cabinet where he had begun keeping the liquor since his child began staying over more often and pouring a glass of scotch.

It should have been harder to get drunk, it shouldn't come as naturally as breathing anymore. His life was a long string of abandonment. He'd never known his mother, barely known his father, lost a career, a country, and a wife. It shouldn't hurt so damn much to simply be away from two people he'd known for two months.

He knew intellectually that they would return. He could get in his car and drive over there and be welcomed into their home for the entire rest of the day, but it was so hard not to feel like he'd lost them forever when he was used to them being here and now they were there. They hadn't really left, they weren't ever his to begin with.

His eyes lit upon Bae's CPS file – the one thing of his son he had in the room, and a reminder of all the ways he'd failed him before they even met. Well, he wasn't particularly fond of anything in this room anyway.

His tumbler made an extremely satisfying noise as it shattered against the wall, followed by a paperweight and a jar. His papers were shoved off the desk into a heap he was sure he'd regret come morning, but the wanton destruction soothed his nerves. He even took out a lamp with his cane before sinking into a chair and sobbing into his hands.

He vaguely became aware of a gentle beep coming from the phone in his pocket. Fishing it out, he glanced at the screen. It was a text from Belle.

Dinner tomorrow? ;-)

Gold wanted to cry with relief. His room was destroyed, he was weak, but two words and a smiley face and suddenly the entire world was somehow better than it had been before.

Of course, he texted back, before adding anything you'd like me to bring? As an afterthought.

Hmmm...wine please.

He suppressed a grin at that. She hadn't been lying when she'd told him he was going to spoil her with better wine than she was used to, but he'd do anything to keep her spoiled if he could possibly manage it. If Belle wanted wine, Belle would have the very best he could offer – even if it was just to go with baked chicken and broccoli.

But before he got too far ahead of himself, he needed to unpack.