The Journal of Conan Edogawa
Disclaimer: I don't own any rights to Detective Conan!
Chapter 2: It's All My Fault
It was already a week since Conan wrote the first entry to his journal. It just seemed that writing down how he felt really helped him feel as if he had a grasp on things. He had decided that he would only write in it when Ran and Kogorou left him alone at the detective agency. Kogorou was out on a case (it was just tailing so Conan figured that he wouldn't be needed) while Ran was shopping with Sonoko.
Conan sighed as he picked up the pen. He thought over the events of that week. He especially thought about Ran. She seemed really distant lately. Conan couldn't help but feel like it was all his fault.
Entry #2
I called Ran yesterday. She acted like everything was fine. We talked for a few minutes before she said that she had to go. I know that this is hurting her but I can't tell her the truth. I feel so dirty for lying to her face but it's the only thing that I could do to protect her.
Ever since my body shrunk, I've been living with her and her dad as Conan Edogawa. I know that it would be best if I went to live in America with my parents. But I can't just leave Ran behind. I never realized how much I took her for granted until it was too late. I would give anything to be myself again just so that I can spend one day with her.
When I got back to the agency after the phone call, I could tell that Ran has been crying. She always tries to act tough and hardly ever cries in front of me, whether I'm Conan or Shinichi. I know that she cries herself to sleep every night. I wish I could tell her how much I hate it when she cries. The worse part of it all is that I know that I'm the reason for her tears. It's all my fault! I wish everything could go back to the way things used to be…but I ruined everything because of my stupid pride.
There were times when I almost told Ran the truth about who I really was. Every time I came close, something stopped me. I still think about telling her but I know that would only put her in more danger. She'd want to help and I can't let her get into something this dangerous! It's all my fault that this happened so I can't let Ran clean up after me. All I want to do is keep her safe, even if it means that I can never return back to normal.
Conan heard the front door of the detective agency open and close. He hurriedly closed his journal and stuffed it underneath his futon. As soon as he had done so, the bedroom door opened and Ran came in with a bunch of bags.
"Conan? What are you doing?" She asked. She didn't know why but she felt as if Conan was keeping something from her. The small boy just smiled.
"Nothing Ran-neechan!" Conan turned up the childish act a few notches. "What did you buy? Is there anything for me?" Ran smiled as she thought that it must have been her imagination. How could she be suspicious of an adorable innocent child!?
"Yep! I got you a puzzle since you seem to like those sort of things." She pulled out a box from one of the bags and handed it to Conan, who took it with a big smile on his face.
"Thanks Ran-neechan! I'll go play with it now!" Conan exited the room. As soon as the door closed behind him, the smile disappeared. "This puzzle is going to be too easy…" He thought as he looked at the box. The puzzle only had 50 pieces, not even making it a challenge for the shrunken detective.
Ran smiled gently. Sometimes, it seemed that Conan was too mature his age. But even then, he still had his moments when it obvious that he was still just a child. She put her bags away and went into the kitchen to make dinner.
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