++++++ I do not own the Walking Dead or any affiliated characters apart from my OC's ++++++

Forty-One

When the two of us reached the prison before dark I finally realised how tired I really was. Neither of us had slept in two days now and were pretty much dead on our feet.

Matthew let the two of us back in with a quick smile at the same time he told us that we now had running water-it was cold but it was still water. So that was pretty much the first place that we went. Ebony and I went to our cells and got some clean clothes as well as some soap that we'd liberated from someone's house so that we could have a shower.

Words could not express the amount of simple joy I had at the joy of running water trickling over my skin. The pressure sucked but I think Matthew had done a good job.

Once we were showered and no longer smelling of a trash heap, I went back to my cell and grabbed my sleeping bag as well as my old duffel, I was gonna sleep in one of the towers tonight, have a think about things. Ebony reassured me that couples fights don't always last forever but I could only think of the one relationship I'd had in the past and it was a failure right from the word dot. I mean who am I kidding? Starting a relationship in the middle of the end of the world? What the hell was I thinking?

Why the fuck does everything have to be so damn complicated?

As I made my way to the guard tower with Spirit I watched as the guys drove in through the gate. Jade ran out of the cell block when Daryl got out of the car, I smiled as Daryl picked her up and planted a kiss on her tangled mess of blonde hair before he spun her around causing her to erupt into fits of laughter. I was so engrossed in the two of them that I didn't notice Carl until I walked right into him. "What the hell kid?" I jumped. "You scared the crap out of me!"

"Where are you going?" Carl questioned, his eyes searching me.

"Sleep in the guard tower," I replied. I don't think I liked being talked down by a thirteen year old boy.

"Why?" Carl inquired.

"Because I can," I replied.

"I heard Ebony telling Carol that you and dad had a fight," Carl blurted out.

Seriously? Girl can't keep her mouth shut for five minutes and I'm being lectured by a kid.

"When my mum and dad had a fight dad would leave the house," Carl told me, "or mum would lock herself in the bedroom. You guys are always telling me and the other kids that we shouldn't try and be adults so maybe you shouldn't be acting like kids."

Ok where did that come from? Cause I like it.

"That's a huge bit of wisdom for a kid like you," I frowned. "Look, Carl. Your dad is the one that's annoyed at me, I did nothing wrong short of trying to save his life."

"Did he say he was disappointed in you?" Carl asked.

I nodded.

Carl sighed. "Yeah, he does that to me a lot, too. PJ-you can sleep in the tower if you want but tomorrow he'll still be mad at you."

I stared at Carl. "How much you charging per hour, kid?"

Carl cocked his head to the side, he clearly had no idea what I was talking about. "PJ-you obviously have feelings for my dad so don't be stubborn."

"Thanks kid," I grumbled before I went past him. "But your dad is the one that got all medieval man on me. You tell him when you see him that I'm gonna be as childish as I want to be and sleep with my dog in the tower. Come on Spirit."

Spirit wagged his tail and followed me into the tower where I slammed the door behind me. Maybe Carl was right and we were being childish but I think Rick needs to stop making decisions for us and start consulting us on what is good for us, otherwise he was being a few steps away from being the Governor. When I got to the top of the tower I set up my sleeping bag and sat up on the bench to look out over the prison whilst Spirit played with his toys. I dug around in my old duffel we'd rescued from the farm until I finally found what I was looking for-the cigarettes Rick and I had liberated from the truck that day.

"Fuck yes," I grinned. I pulled a cigarette out and lit it up, when I took the first puff, my body erupted into a coughing fit as it wasn't used to smoking anymore. I looked at the cigarette and laughed to myself as my mind wandered back to when I had gone to Ebony's aunt and uncle's for dinner that first night. God they were such tossers.

"So tell me all about yourself, Ebony," I forcefully smiled, staring across the kitchen at Ebony whilst I circled my finger around the top of my wine glass. Ebony's aunt, Mille laughed at my choice of small talk. "Something amuse you?" I asked, a scowl on my face.

Ebony glanced over at me, she was giving me a look that basically told me that she had definitely misjudged me to first time she met me.

"Ebony's made more mistakes in her life than I can count," Millie replied, placing her fork down. "Drugs, alcohol, petty crime-"

"I cleaned up when I got pregnant with Jade!" Ebony objected, her voice only coming out in a whisper. "Yes it's true that I've made my fair share of mistakes in my life but I figure that being the best mum that I can be to Jade made everything better."

Her aunt didn't seem to hear her.

Jeff Heart looked to Ebony with a sympathetic smile and gave her a reassuring wink.

"Only reason that Ebony is here is because she can't stay in Sydney anymore," Millie pointed out. "If she hadn't hooked up with that low life in high school that she would be so much more like her siblings."

"I find that you can't judge a person on their past actions," I answered. "But when you think about it-if Ebony had not gotten together with that boy than she wouldn't have become a mother."

"An unwed mother," Millie pointed out. "Back in my day, women married me before getting pregnant and they didn't certainly push the father of their child in front of a car."

I smirked into my glass.

"He tried to take Jade," Ebony snapped.

She laughed. "You're living here out of the goodness of our hearts, don't be rude."

I had already decided that hate this woman.

"Ready for desert?" Millie asked.

I nodded.

"Jeff come and help me," Millie grumbled when she took all our plates.

"You always let people talk to you like that?" I inquired once it was only the two of us in the room.

"No," Ebony answered. "Usually I would deck anyone who did that but when it comes to Jade and putting a safe, roof over her head, I'll suck it up and swallow my pride each and every time."

I paused. "Come live with me," I blurted out of the blue.

Ebony almost choked on my juice. "What? No! I can't live with you! You hate me! You hate Jade!"

I shook my head. "Anything's better than this," I pointed out. "Besides, I'm on base for the next few months 9-5 then I get deployed in June so the place will be just yours. Saves me getting someone to rent it out to. What do you say?"

From there it was pretty much amazing how quickly we became friends and how attacked to Jade I became even though I didn't like babies. Jade-now Judith was the only exception. I don't think I could bare it if I left-there was so much now that I could lose-Jade, Sophia, Ebony, Daryl, Carl, Judith…Rick. I sighed and looked over the yard just as the door opened.

"Smoking will kill you, you know," Rick pointed out.

"Not like I have much left to live for these days," I shrugged.

"Stop being stubborn," Rick grumbled.

"I could say the same for you," I replied. I put the cigarette out and turned to face him. "I'm gonna say this Rick because it has to be said-you're about two steps away from being the Governor. You can't keep making decisions for us!"

"I'm keeping this group together!" he argued.

"In case you hadn't noticed, Rick we're going an ok job without Kim Jong-il telling us what we can and can't do," I growled. I slipped off the bench and flicked the cigarette at the wall. "When you went crazy after Lori died, me and Daryl went out on a run for food, Glenn and Maggie held the fort, Beth looked after Judith, Herschel watched over and Carl had his shit together in more ways than one. We don't need a Governor, we need a council where we can sit down and discuss things otherwise we might as well be Woodbury."

"That's not fair!" he told me.

"That's about as fair as you're gonna get it, Rick," I answered back. "I don't want Dictator Rick, I want farm Rick back. Hell-I'd even settle for something in between but I won't take you like this. Share the burden of leadership Rick because if you don't start letting us chose for ourselves I will walk."

Rick stared at me. "Philomena, please. You're my god given solace right now…please don't go. I need you."

"I need to stay here right now," I answered. "You go do what you need to do." I sat back down and went to light another cigarette only to have Rick grab it and sit down beside me.

"What do you want me to do?" Rick asked me.

"Don't do anything stupid," I answered. "Ebony told me about Michonne and how much the Governor hates her-don't give her to him. Stand and fight-I'll stand by you if you step down and let a committee decide the right course of action."

Rick rubbed my knee. "I can't lose you. You keep me sane when I could have lost it." He looked at me and smiled softly. "Still want me to go?" he inquired.

I shook my head. "No, you can stay," I grinned when I pulled him in for a kiss. "Carl called us kids earlier," I informed him.

"Really?" Rick frowned.

I nodded and kissed him again. "Now, I'm doing the grown up thing and telling you I'm sorry," I continued as I started taking off my shirt.

"PJ-?" Rick asked. "What-?"

"I'm apologising the grown up way," I grinned.