The Journal of Conan Edogawa

I do not own any of the rights to Detective Conan!

Chapter 7: Brave

It had been a whole week since Conan was sick. Him and the Detective Boys were playing soccer in the park. Ran had gone back to treating him like normal, but she also insisted that they spend more time together. She even stayed at the park to watch him and his friends play!

"Is Ran really alright? There's something strange about the way that she's been acting." Conan thought as he bounced the soccer ball on his head absentmindedly. For a moment, he thought that he saw a sad smile flash on Ran's face…but then it was gone.

"Conan! Pass the ball already!" Mitsuhiko yelled.

"Yeah! Quit being a show-off!" Genta added. Conan sighed and passed the ball.

"Does it count as showing off if I'm holding back?" He wondered.

Ran watched the kids play. She noticed that Conan acted differently around them, almost like his old self. She could tell that he was still holding back and acting but he seemed more relaxed around his grade-school friends. "Especially Haibara…he mentioned her in that journal…Does she know the truth?" She glanced at Haibara, who was sitting right next to her. Haibara wasn't really the athletic type and tended to just watch the other kids having fun.

In a way, Ran was kind of jealous of the Detective Boys. They seemed to be able to bring a natural smile to Conan's face. She let out a loud sigh.

"What's wrong?" Haibara asked, her face expressionless. Haibara seemed to be even more mature than Conan sometimes, it kind of made Ran uneasy.

"I was just thinking of how brave Conan was." She replied after a moment.

"What do you mean?"

"He's been through so much! He's almost been killed multiple times, kidnapped, seen tons of murder and crime scenes…he's always acting like it's no big deal! He's away from his parents and he's always doing stupid, reckless things! He's always putting others before himself!" Ran started crying. "I try to be there for him but he keeps shutting me out."

Haibara nodded. "To be clear, are we talking about Edogawa or Kudou?" Ran stared at her. She suddenly realized that even though they were the same person, Conan and Shinichi led two very different lives! Yet, somehow, he was able to maintain the same traits about him…the things that made him who he was.

"I guess both. Shinichi hasn't called me in a while…I'm just worried. Conan looks so much like Shinichi that I can't help but wonder what he's up to!" Ran lied. Haibara glared at her for a moment before nodding.

"I guess that it's understandable. I used to think the same thing about someone very close to me."

Ran nodded, unsure of who Haibara used to be so worried about all the time. She looked back to the field and saw Ayumi hugging Conan. She could see that Genta and Mitsuhiko were pretty mad about that. She couldn't blame them. She felt the same way. "Shinichi, what are you doing!?" Ran blinked. She was jealous of a little kid! What was wrong with her!?

Entry #7

Ran didn't talk to me on the way home. I have no idea what I did to make her so mad! I don't understand women at all! Still, Ran has got to be the bravest person that I have ever met. She's so amazing in everything she does! I wish I could tell her that. She deserves someone better than me. Someone who wouldn't make her wait for them to grow up.

I wish that I could be brave like her. I put her through so much! If only I could go back in time. I would have made sure that none of this ever happened!

Mitsuhiko and Genta are mad at me too. It's not my fault that Ayumi has a crush on me! I feel bad because I'm eventually going to have to leave the Detective Boys when I get my body back. Even though Genta says that he's the leader, they all seem to follow my lead…when they're not trying to show me up on their own.

I think I'm going to call Ran tonight. What happened last week was kind of…awkward. I can't believe that I actually cried in front of Ran. She probably thought that it was just the tears of a child who got yelled at. I hate this whole thing! People shrinking should stay in science fiction! I never wanted any of this…but it's too late now. If only Ran knew the truth…I'm so pathetic. I'm nothing but a coward, afraid to tell Ran how I really feel. I wish that I could be brave.

I hope that you enjoyed it! I'm thinking about adding in the Detective Boy's view points on things but I'm not really sure. If it does happen, it's only gonna be a little bit. I love playing with the irony going on in this situation! So close, yet so far! Haha! If you liked the fanfic, make sure to write a review! I could really use the confidence boost! Thanks!