++++++ I do not own the Walking Dead or any affiliated characters apart from my OC ++++++

Forty-Five

For the next couple of minutes I stood there staring at Ebony, blinking a thousand times in a second.

"Say something!" Ebony shrieked at me. "Don't just stand there broadcasting SOS like the Titanic. SOS isn't going to help me."

I shook my head to clear out every negative thought I had at that moment. "Pause. Rewind. Play. What the hell? How can you be so sure you're pregnant?" I laughed. "You could just be having a really bad day. You know, like how someone wakes up on the wrong side of the bed. Or it could be because you had a nasty fight with Daryl-"

"You don't understand!" Ebony cut me off. "Before I found out I was pregnant with Jade, I was pretty much angry at everything. It was a change in hormones." She shook her head. "No…no…no…I can't be pregnant…PJ…I'm gonna die. I'm gonna die and end up like Lori…oh god."

"I'm gonna go get Hershel," I piped up. I had no idea what to say or what to do.

Ebony latched onto my arm and forced me to stay in the cell. "Don't you dare! You bloody well better stay here and let this sink in!"

"We don't have time," I replied. "Rick said we're packing up and leaving before the Governor gets here."

"I need a pregnancy test," Ebony whispered. "Oh my god-PJ-"

"I'll get you one," I quickly answered. "I promise but in the mean time we need to finish what we're doing and get out of here. Promise me you will stay out of any fighting until we find out. I promise I will handle this."

Ebony shook her head. "No way-"

I stuck my hand over her mouth. "No. Ebony, you need to understand that this baby may be John's. If you get caught then he will never let you go." If there was any more colour to be drained out of Ebony's face, she would have lost all of it right there and then. "What did I say?"

"Oh my god," Ebony gasped. "John's…I never even thought of it. Although…we didn't really have sex-"

"And I'll stop you there," I cut her off. "He's my brother, as far as I'm concerned, he, like my parents and other brothers, are monks."

"Can we just focus on me!" Ebony snapped. "We're not focusing on you because you're not the problem! I'm the problem! I'm pregnant! Not you."

"Gods I hope not," I snorted.

Ebony punched me on the arm. "You insensitive douchecanoe!" she scowled.

"Douchecanoe?" I laughed. "You been reading the dictionary again and playing that weird ass word game again?"

Ebony punched me again. "That's not the point! That's not the point! PJ, that's not the point!"

"Would you stop being a drama queen," I finally grumbled. "Enough, Ebony! I know you're angry and upset and all the other things that crazy women can get when they're pregnant but now isn't the time to go crazy bitch on me. Enough, Ebony!" I snapped, using the voice my mother used when she got angry at me for being stupid. "Do you think Lori sat there and became a mewling blob when she found out she was pregnant? She soldiered on."

Ebony glared at me.

"Put your mum boots on and clip your bra on properly," I continued. "Let's get out there and fight for our prison."

"Your prep talks suck," Ebony sniffed. "I love you, PJ but you suck sometimes."

I rolled my eyes and left her alone in the cell.

"You ok?" Rick asked me, coming up behind me.

I shrugged. "Yeah…just a whole lot of shit happening at once. Listen, Rick, once we get the prison back from the Gov, I gotta take off for a while."

Rick stepped back. "Wait-what?" he frowned. "Why would you say that?"

"Ebony thinks she's pregnant," I answered honestly. There was going to be no lies between me and Rick, not anymore. "I told her that I would handle it and so I will handle it. I need to find what she needs."

Rick breathed a sigh of relief. "I thought you were leaving me."

I laughed. "You're stuck with me, Rick Grimes…now and forever-or until I die from being walker bait."

Rick took my hands and kissed me. "You have a way of ruining moments, PJ." He brushed my hair behind my ears and leant his head against mine. "You might not be the most emotional person, PJ, but you do it in your own way. I love you."

I raised an eyebrow. "That's the first time you've ever said that to me." I grinned. "Rick Grimes, I love you."

We grinned at each other.

"Ebony is lucky for having you as a best friend," Rick smiled. "Help us load up the cars, I need you and Daryl in the towers. Got your sniper rifle?"

I shook my head "Woodbury, left it in a store. I can still man the towers-well-woman the towers…this whole Woodbury invasion aside, are you alright if I take off for a week or two? I gotta do this for Ebony."

Rick nodded. He said he was fine but his face told me a different story.

"I'm coming back," I assured him. "I promise, Rick. Ebony's my best friend and I'll be damned if she dies because of this or if John takes her from me than I will rip this world apart."

"You're scary when you're in soldier mode," he chuckled. "But I love you all the same. Scary soldier mode or whatever other surprises you have for me hidden away."

"There's a reason I'm kinda scary and not good with emotions," I told him. I slumped down on the bed. "Listen-Rick, I need to tell you something before we continue whatever this is. No more surprises."

"You're married?" Rick chuckled.

I laughed nervously. "Good god no…No Rick…I used to be like Ebony, bright, bubbly and always full of fun. Don't say anything, I need to get this off my chest. Got caught with a couple others in my squad. Towards the end of my first tour. We were tortured for information-the enemy wanted to know troop movements, supply routes, pass codes-the works but none of us would budge." I looked at him, he was honing in on the fear written all over my face. "There was me and Mary…Mary was my Ebony before I found my Ebony. We both got singled out by some of the men and well…" Just like before the words were stuck in my throat.

"PJ-" Rick started.

I held my hand up to silence him. "Mary killed herself. Walked straight out into a minefield and then she was gone."

"You let me-" he started again.

I sprung up. "I'm telling you because I trust you, Rick. There are parts of my life that are dark and scary and you, Ebony, Jade, Judith, Carl…you shine a little light on it every day. One day I hope that hole in my heart wouldn't be dark like it used to be."

"PJ," Rick frowned. "I can't-"

"Please don't turn me away," I whispered, my voice breaking up little by little.

Rick grabbed me as gently as he could and hugged me tightly. I could tell that what I had told him had frightened him, he wasn't speaking to me. He needed time to think things over…

"I let you have me because I love you," I smiled as best I could. "I told you Ebony's secret because I trust you, there is nothing else left to spill…unless you ask me about that girl I had sex with when I was seventeen-Lillian-yeah her name was Lillian-"

"You're babbling," Rick cut me off. "PJ-nothing, I mean nothing with break us. I promise."

I nodded.

"You trusted me with this," Rick spoke. "Now I'm trusting you to look after us and we'll look after you. Can you let us? Will you talk to me about this before you go running off to look for more supplies for Ebony?"

I nodded again.

I slipped my hands into his.

Trust is a belief that someone or something is reliable, good and honest and I could say with all fairness that I trusted Rick Grimes with the good and the bad, to make me a better person.