Belle wasn't really ready to face the day, but morning came regardless. Bae hadn't woken her up all night. She'd half expected him to, but he'd spent the entire night in his room (and she had definitely checked). She didn't see much point in waking him up for school, as she wasn't going to make him go. She was preparing breakfast when Arthur came into the kitchen. She turned to greet him, and saw the confusion on his face at her pajamas and messy hair and overlarge stack of pancakes.
"I thought I'd stay home with Bae today," she explained before he could ask. "I'm not going to make him go to school."
"Oh," he replied dully. "That's...probably a good idea, actually. Do you mind if I join you?"
"You don't have to ask," she reminded him. "He's your son, too."
He nodded a little, walking towards the fridge and removing the orange juice, setting it on the table, and glancing around like he needed something to do. Usually, she'd try to figure something out for him but she couldn't right now. She barely had enough left for Bae, she just couldn't spare anything for Arthur.
"Hey Mom," Bae greeted her, already dressed in his clothes and carrying his backpack. "Why didn't you wake me?"
"Oh, honey," Belle replied, turning from the pancakes she'd been obsessively making for the last half hour. "You're not going to school today."
"Why not?"
"Well," she hadn't entirely expected him to question her. "Because...I think it's important you spend the day with your dad and I."
"I've got a lot of work to do," he replied flatly. "And homework."
"The homework will wait," she said. "And I can talk to your teachers."
He was hurting and she knew it, he just didn't want to admit it.
"I want to go to school!" he snapped. "Why won't you let me?"
"I'm not arguing about this," she yelled back. "We need to be a family right now!"
He humphed, stalking upstairs to his room and slamming the door and leaving both of his parents looking at each other. Belle broke first, making a little shrieking noise and throwing the spatula hard against a wall.
"I can't do this," she murmured, leaning back against the counter. "I just can't."
"What do you mean?"
"He's hurting," she said with a sigh. "He's hurting so much and he needs me but all I can feel is relief. I'm so relieved that she's gone and I feel so, so bad for it."
He was bristling a little bit, but she couldn't stop talking now that she was letting it out.
"She's just been hanging over my head for ten damn years, Arthur," she clenched her fists. "I've known this was coming for so long and I've hoped it would happen and now...I just feel empty. I'm hurting because he's hurting, but I can't comfort him."
She barely noticed she was crying until he had come and wrapped his arms around her and then she was sobbing. It wasn't right. He was grieving, too, and she was just feeling sorry for herself, but she still clung to him and let him comfort her.
It took a few days for Milah's body to be released. She'd never known the woman had a sister, but apparently they'd been estranged since before Bae was even born. Arthur had gotten in contact with her and both he and Bae were going to the funeral. Belle was invited as well, but Milah had hated her and the feeling had been mutual. Milah wouldn't have wanted her to go and Belle didn't really think it would have been appropriate to go when she was just so...happy. Nobody made her explain it, at least. Bae was still completely shut down (although Dr. Hopper was working very hard with all three on that) and Arthur knew. She wasn't sure he understood, but he knew and he didn't pressure her. So her son and his father went to a funeral, and Belle went home.
There was no reason to keep living in the same house now that the threat had passed, and she was a little anxious to try to return to normal. Unfortunately, the house was big and empty and didn't really feel like home anymore when there was nobody else there. She tried calling Ruby, but she was busy – she usually was, though. Her job was an endless cycle of moving children back and forth between homes. Belle tried not to think too hard about it, because Bae had come so close to being one of them. The thought of her little boy being shuffled between foster families and his birth mom was enough to drive her almost all the way to tears which she didn't want to shed. Not today, not ever.
She couldn't stay alone all day, dammit. She needed a distraction, but with Ruby busy and Arthur at a funeral her pool of friends was dangerously low. At what point had being a mom completely taken over her life? She sighed, at least if she was going to be old and boring she could do something productive. Which is how she found herself cleaning out her purse in the living room.
Something caught her eye as she went through the receipts in her wallet. She'd forgotten that George gave her his card. She'd had so much else going on that her ex-boyfriend's phone number was hardly her chief concern. But well, they were supposed to be trying to get on with their lives, weren't they? Anyway, it wasn't like she was going to marry him this time. He'd asked her to coffee. Coffee was practically platonic. She could do coffee, just to catch up. This didn't need to be anything major.
So why did it feel major when she was walking into the cafe and he was sitting there anxiously checking his phone?
"Hi," she said as she approached his table. He almost dropped the phone he was so startled.
"Oh hey," he replied, standing up and giving her a big smile. "I was starting to get worried."
"I'm not late," she said as she sat down.
"I know," he said sheepishly. "I was just worried you'd change your mind."
"I think it'll be nice to catch up," she reassured him. And she was pretty sure it would be, actually. Just being in the room with him felt different. He was one of the few people who had known her as Belle, not Bae's mom.
"So," he said. "What have you been up to since college?"
"Mostly Bae," she replied. "But I've been running the flower shop, too. Nothing too terribly exciting. What about you?"
"Well," he began. "After we broke up I kind of bummed around a little bit, tried to figure things out."
"How'd you end up as a deputy?"
"It was a total fluke, actually," he admitted. "I ran into one of the guys from the soccer team back in college and he's the one who told me about the opening on the force. So I took the exam, and aced it. Turns out to have been the best thing that ever happened to me."
"Oh yeah?"
"Well, I didn't have much of a reason to get up in the morning for a little while there. Now I do."
"What do you mean?"
"Finishing college was kind of rough," he explained. "I went from knowing exactly where I was going every day to...nothing. Then suddenly I had something I had to do, and it was important. There were people counting on me. I know it's kind of ridiculous, but yeah."
"It's not ridiculous," she said. "I think it's great you have something like that. I've never really loved anything but Bae."
She realized what she was saying immediately after it was out of her mouth, but it was too late to call the words back into her mouth.
"I'm sorry," she blurted out. "I didn't mean it like that."
"No, it's fine," he replied. "We were a crappy pair."
"It wasn't all bad," she reminded him, suddenly defensive for reasons she couldn't understand. "You were a pretty good boyfriend, all things considered. I just wasn't really ready yet, I don't think."
"What about now?"
The conversation had taken a turn for the deep, but Belle was surprised that she didn't really mind. Things had been so confusing lately between Milah's return and Arthur's appearance and her entire life was in turmoil. This...this was safe.
"Now..." she said with a shrug. "I might be."
She could make this work.
Arthur never liked funerals, and the fact that he'd been married to the woman in this casket wasn't helping him at all. Bae was there, though. He had to keep it together for his son. He hadn't seen Milah's sister since right after the wedding – Carol hadn't really approved of her sister's lifestyle or, by extension, her choice of husband. He'd called ahead of time to let her know Bae would be there, and been surprised when she'd been so warm to the idea. Granted, he would have taken Bae regardless but he was glad that at least Bae would be able to meet her.
They met outside the church before the funeral. Carol looked creepily like her sister, though without the hard lines and jutting bones of the last time he'd seen Milah.
"Hello, Arthur," she said when she saw them approach. "This must be Bailey."
"Yes," he replied. "Bae, this is your birth mom's sister, Carol."
"Hi," Bae said, taking her outstretched hand.
It was a sedate conversation. Neither adult particularly wanted to discuss what had happened with Bae there, but small talk felt too trivial for the situation. In the end, he was glad that Bae had met her, but nothing would ever come of it. Carol had done her grieving for her sister when they were both young women. She'd had her own life and her own family, and didn't have room in it for Bae.
It always sounded strange to say a funeral was lovely. A funeral was a place you said goodbye to a dead person, and in that respect it had worked. He wasn't sure how Bae felt on seeing her this last time, but he was quiet and respectful and Arthur was so damn proud of how strong his son was.
They ended up skipping the cemetery and the wake, instead going to a diner and getting lunch. He couldn't help but be reminded of the first time he'd taken Bae out to a meal. It was the night they went to see Spider-man and Bae had confessed to having trouble in school. That had felt like such a victory at the time. He'd been so excited about the prospect that Bae might actually open up to him, and now here he was with a heartbroken little boy in mourning. Who'd have ever thought they'd have come so far in so short a time. In a way, he missed that. He missed when it was so simple and all he needed was Bae's love.