The Journal of Conan Edogawa

I do not own Detective Conan or any of it's characters! (I wish I did though!)

Chapter 8: Idiot

Entry #8

I'm really worried about Ran. She stopped asking when I'm coming home on the phone. Does this mean that she's moved on? As much as it hurts, it's probably better this way. I'm not even sure if I could go back to normal…not permanently.

Haibara said that she completed a new temporary antidote that will last for about 8 hours. I want to take it so that I could be with Ran but I know that I'm just going to have to leave her again. I can't keep hurting her like this. But if I don't do this, I'm afraid that I might really lose myself for good. Even if it's for a few hours, I want to be seen as Shinichi, not Conan. Plus, I need to know if Ran has truly moved on. If she has, this will probably be the last time that she'll see me as Shinichi.

Ran is still insisting on spending time with me all the time. It's really weird but also kind of nice. Ran isn't crying as much anymore and seems more happy. I really feel like I'm doing something to help her. Even my own smiles are less forced. Thank you, Ran. You make me feel as if I was normal…grown up, not just a kid.

Conan put his journal away and got ready to go to Agasa's house. It was still early in the morning so both Ran and Kogorou were still asleep. He wrote a quick note saying that he'd be playing video games all day and left.

Time Skip

"There is still the possibility of you dying. It's also going to hurt like hell growing and shrinking. Are you really sure that you want to take this?" Haibara asked, even though she knew what the shrunken detective's answer would be.

"Of course I'm sure! Besides," he mumbled. "That pain is nothing compared to what Ran must be feeling."

Haibara sighed and handed him a small pill. "There's a change of clothes already in the bathroom." Conan nodded and ran into the bathroom. "You're such an idiot, Kudou," Haibara thought. He was always doing things like this, risking his life just for Ran.

A few minutes later, a sweaty Shinichi Kudou came out of the bathroom. "Thanks Haibara! I'll be going now." He put on a hat and left the house with his head down.

Time Skip

Ran woke up to find a note from Conan on the coffee table in the living room. As she read it, she couldn't help but wonder what Conan…what Shinichi…was really doing over there. It seemed that every time Conan went to Agasa's, he either ended up in the hospital or Shinichi would visit. Ran's eyes suddenly grew wide. She quickly but quietly went into the room that Conan shared with her father and snuck the notebook into her room. She skipped the first five entries and read.

As soon as she finished reading the last entry, she felt a tear fall down her cheek. "That stupid mystery otaku! Shinichi, you are such an idiot!" She couldn't believe that Shinichi had really thought that she had moved on. She hadn't even realized that she had stopped pestering him about coming home. "I already knew where you were so I didn't need to ask…I'm so sorry for making you worry, Shinichi!" Ran looked at the clock before putting the notebook back where she found it.

As soon as the notebook was hidden, she heard the doorbell ring. Ran felt as if she couldn't get there fast enough! She opened the door and saw Shinichi, fully grown, standing in the doorway. Ran hugged him tightly, not even thinking about her actions. After a moment, she pulled herself away, blushing. She tried to act mad.

"Where have you been!? I've been worried sick about you! You should have called to let me know that you were coming back!" Shinichi looked at her, blinking in surprise. Then he started yelling back.

"I take a break from my case to surprise you and that's the first thing you say to me!?" The two glared at each other in silence before breaking out laughing.

"I really missed you, Shinichi. How long can you stay?" Shinichi looked at his watch.

"I have to leave a little before 4 o'clock if I want to catch my train but that should be plenty of time!" Shinichi smiled.

"Plenty of time to do what?" Ran questioned. Shinichi sighed.

"Idiot! If I told you, then it wouldn't be a surprise!" He teased. Ran seriously wanted to punch him.

"Will you quit calling me an idiot!? I was just wondering!" Ran turned around. "I'm going to get changed." She walked into her room and quickly chose a cute outfit. As she was changing, she couldn't help but think about how different Shinichi acted when he was Conan. "He doesn't tease me and call me names…He's a lot nicer as Conan!" She remember what Shinichi had written in that last journal entry. "Shinichi, you idiot! I couldn't move on if I wanted to!"

This chapter wasn't as sad as the other chapters. I actually had a little bit of trouble getting into Shinichi's character but I'm going to do better next chapter! Any ideas on what Shinichi has planned for his day with Ran? If so, let me know! Don't forget to review if you like this story! I promise that next chapter will be epic! Thanks for reading!