The Journal of Conan Edogawa

I do not own Detective Conan (Gosho Aoyama does!)

Chapter 10: What's the Point?

Conan stood on the stool in the bathroom. It was only yesterday that he had been over 6 feet tall…now he needed a stool to see the mirror! "I know that life can be unfair but this is getting ridiculous!" Conan thought as he finished brushing his teeth.

"Conan! Hurry up or you'll be late for school!" Ran called. They had both overslept and didn't even have time for breakfast. Conan finished getting ready and joined Ran by the front door. Since Teitan Elementary School was on the way to Teitan High School, Ran had always made sure to walk Conan to school.

On the way to school, Ran couldn't help but look at the small boy holding her hand. He seemed so innocent, so young, so happy! "How is he able to act like that after yesterday!?" She thought. She unconsciously squeezed Conan's hand.

Ran-neechan? Is something wrong?"He asked with big childlike eyes. Ran blinked at him as she tried to come up with something to say. "It's Shinichi again, isn't it?" He continued, looking at the ground.

"No. I…" Ran started. She didn't want Conan, no…Shinichi, to feel like it was all his fault. "I was just nervous for the math test today, that's all." She gave him a reassuring smile. They continued walking in silence.

When they got to Conan's school, Ran had to fight to give the boy a hug. She didn't want to let him out of her sight for even a second! "Have a good day at school!" She said cheerfully as Conan joined the Detective Boys.

"I will! Good luck on your test, Ran-neechan!" He called back before disappearing inside the school. Ran sighed and continued walking to school.

"Poor Shinichi! I could only imagine how hard it must be to have to go to elementary school again!"

Time Skip

"Good morning, Kobayashi-sensei!" All the kids greeted cheerfully.

Their teacher smiled warmly and the class sat down. "Good morning, everyone! Did you have a good weekend?"

"Yeah!" Everyone responded.

"Just kill me already…" Conan thought to himself. As the teacher started class, Conan propped his head up with one arm and stared out the window. "What's the point of me coming to school again? Why couldn't I have said that I was homeschooled and gone to Agasa's everyday?" He didn't notice the teacher standing next to him.

"Edogawa! Are you even paying attention to the lesson?" Conan jumped in his seat.

"Um…yeah!" He smiled his biggest, most innocent smile. Kobayashi-sensei sighed.

"Then could you tell me what 10 times 4 is?"

"40," he replied as if he was proud. "This is what I've been reduced to…answering simple multiplication problems…"

"Correct. But right now, we're learning history."

Conan blushed a little in embarrassment while the rest of the class giggled. As soon as the teacher went back to the front of the classroom, Haibara whispered something to the small detective. "I'm guessing that yesterday didn't go so well?"

Conan just glared at her. He was sure that she had probably been observing him and Ran all day yesterday. He turned his attention to the front of the room and tried to pay attention to the lesson.

Entry #10

It was so hard go back to school after what happened yesterday. I really didn't want Ran to leave me there but there's nothing that I could do. I'm just a kid, after all. It's so hard to keep pretending like I actually care what the teacher was talking about! I can't even pay attention in class anymore! I don't know how much longer I can take this torture!

Ran was so upset when I left. She didn't even try to stop me like she normally does when I have to leave. I know that she's afraid that I won't come back. The truth is, I'm afraid of the same thing. I know that I should be used to it by now but I'm not. I don't even WANT to get used to this, acting like a child 24/7! If I got used to it, then it would be like admitting defeat.

I tried to cheer Ran up this morning by acting happy. She said that she was nervous because of a test but I know that she was lying. I've been around her long enough to know when she feels sad. But what's the point of being around her if there's nothing that I could do to make her happy? What's the point of this whole thing!?

This was the hardest chapter to write so far! Is it normal to feel bad for the characters that you are writing about!? Anyway, please let me know what you think! Thanks for reading, minna-san!