note.

Forty-four is such a shit number. Seriously. In my mother tongue (and Japanese/Korean), the number four has very strong connotations of death and there are two in the number forty-four.

One more week before my exams are over for me and we're back to the normal update schedule!

track 44.

Bobbing in the water, Sasuke was a good distance from the shore when he spotted Sakura surrounded by several people. Their taller and wider builds covering most of her from his view, but the flash of pink hair gave her away. It wasn't until she pushed one of them away in a particularly hard shove that he realized exactly why she was being harassed by them.

Under normal circumstances, he would have taken a moment to appreciate the sight of the girl. Drank in the view. But he always seemed to have bad luck around water when he was with Sakura. Milky skin and petite body barely covered by a white bikini top and anything below her waist hidden by the ocean, those freaks likely thought that she was alone as Naruto was no where in sight.

Judging by their stupidity, they probably weren't with the school.

Swimming back in a front crawl, he reached Sakura just in time to witness her threatening to knee the surrounding strangers where it hurt. The remark sending mixed feeling through him.

One, because those creeps unquestionably deserve it for bothering Sakura.

And two, because while they deserve it- he's not sure about how he feels of Sakura's method of resolving the problem as a fellow member of the male population. There's no way it wouldn't hurt, and he knew Sakura well enough to know that she would have had no qualms in following through her words if they hadn't left.

"You're fine." He looked her up and down, scanning for any problems. "Do you want me to go after them?"

"There's no need, Sasuke-kun." She giggled, obviously amused by his expression. His brows were knitted together and his mouth was lightly pursed to the side.

"You sure?"

"Seriously, I'm fine. Don't worry, Sasuke-kun."

Seeing that she began moving towards the rocks at the edge of the water, Sasuke moved to follow her. He could see the peachy sprinkle of hair over her arm, more obvious as they were drenched by the sea. He could also see her modest cleavage, standing a good head and a bit taller than her. "Where are you going?"

"I'm just going to put my jacket back on." She pointed back at the abandoned garment under their umbrella, poorly guarded by a sleeping Naruto. "You enjoy the water, I'll come join you in a bit."

"Stay." There was no point in putting clothes over her already wet body. It would only mean that she wouldn't have dry clothes to change back in.

"I'll only be gone for a moment."

"Is it because of those guys? They won't come around now that I'm here with you. Or now that you've shown them not to mess with you." He was about to follow her back, keep guard- when she laid out her palms to face him in an attempt to get him to stay put.

"No, honestly, it's nothing." She lied. "I'll just go change and come back. I'll be quick!"

Catching on to the way she tilted her body away from him, the black haired boy took a guess. One he hoped wasn't true, but seemed highly probable. "You can let the other guy's see. But you can't have me see you like this?" His face was a mixture of annoyance and disbelief.

Sasuke hadn't meant it as a taunt, but Sakura seemed to have interpreted it as such. Her mood still sour after the encounter. Hands crossed over her chest, she looked away. It wasn't that she was conscious about her body - she's been blessed with a high metabolism, and with constant exercise, she has always been considered fit and healthy - but around Sasuke, it was different. "It's not like there's anything to see anyway."

The person she liked didn't seem to understand that he was the reason. They were just guys; they weren't Sasuke-kun. So it didn't matter. Couldn't he see that she was shy around him? That he was special? A bucket full of ice might as well have been poured over her. Again, it was yet another wake up call for her one sided love. That she was just another girl to him.

Of course he wouldn't understand, Sakura thought, Sasuke-kun doesn't like me the same way. So how would he?

"You don't understand do you?" He snarked, perhaps a little louder than he intended when he heard Sakura demean herself in such a way.

She thought maybe her thoughts had materialised themselves, but for some reason, Sasuke was the one to ask her that.

Taken aback, Sakura argued. "You're the one that doesn't get it!" She was well aware of how futile arguing with Uchiha Sasuke was. It would always be a losing battle. But Sakura had too much pride to let him trample over her when she did nothing wrong for him to suddenly shout at her.

She's so damn clueless. Sasuke scowled. The words coming out with proper bite now. How couldn't she see how stunning she was? Even if those people didn't know didn't know anything about her, that appearance was already more than enough. Did she not notice the stares during breakfast the other day? Or at the bazaar? There surely hadn't been a lack of verbal compliments back then.

"For fuck's sake, Sakura. Have you no self awareness? Because I'll gladly lend you some of mine."

Sasuke never used profanity unless he wasn't thinking before he spoke, but that thought flew over her head in her angered state. "Does it even matter? It's not like anyone is going to suddenly think 'oh, you know what? That pink haired one isn't actually so dull and unattractive; and I'm feeling a little lonely, maybe I'll try my luck with her.'"

It scared him exactly how accurate she was. How stupidly trusting she was. She didn't understand - "Sakura. Don't be stupid, you're too damn defenceless. Running around everywhere dressed like this. You have no idea how you look into others' eyes, do you?"

"Others' eyes?" Sakura mocked.

She could look over the 'stupid' comment since it was no secret that she did became a little dense around Sasuke. But did he have no regard for her feelings? She didn't care about anyone's views but his. He knew that. The only one she ever looked at was him. The only reactions she cared for were his. What use did she have to pay attention to others? And why did he always have to bring up other people?

She's showed him her heart so many times, yet he still didn't have any trust in her confession.

What else do I have to do Sasuke-kun? Why isn't anything I do ever enough for anyone?

She thought...

She thought Sasuke was different. That he understood.

How stupid she was.

"Sakura-" He reached out for her. To try and calm her down. It was the first time he had actually raised his voice at her, but it didn't make sense for her to act this way. Though Sakura had a hot temper, she was also peculiarly level headed.

"If I've done something wrong, just tell me! Why are you suddenly shouting at me and scolding me like a child? Sakura-this, Sakura-that. You're just as controlling as otou-san!" Sakura covered her mouth as soon as the words left her, mortified as she realised what she had been doing. Projecting her own expectations and shortcomings onto Sasuke who owed her nothing. He had been worried about her, and yet, she was being an ungrateful idiot.

Startled that Sakura would think so of him, he stepped closer to her. Trapping her in between the rocks and his body, as he lowered himself towards her. "Is that what you think?" He whispered angrily into her ear.

It fuelled his instincts to tighten the grip on her arms. He urge to hold him only growing stronger as he felt her shiver under him. It would be so easy to dip down... the distance between them was so little...

Sasuke's eye widened in horror at his actions when he saw the wetness at the corner of her eyes.

Sakura's scared of me. Dammit. Damn it all.

Sasuke knew this wasn't right. That he couldn't- shouldn't lie to himself this way. His dreams (or was it the nightmares?) had revealed what he wanted those sleepless nights ago. He just didn't want to acknowledge them. He's understood for a long time now, that he sometimes says these biting things simply because he's angry or cornered or scared, when he wants to put up a wall around himself to pretend he doesn't care. Sasuke was not acting this way because he was angry that she would say such a thing...

No...

Sasuke's feelings were a repetitive charade. Each new emotion Sakura made him feel... He was still learning how to acknowledge them... How to control them.

It had been so stupidly easy, falling in love.

But he only just realized how truly difficult being in love with such an amazing person was.

He had wanted to prove just how different he was from her father. This man Sakura seemed to never be happy with. To remind Sakura that he wasn't her father in any way possible. Show her that he could make her happy. Buy her the desserts she loved so dearly, and sing her to sleep nightly. But with her in between his arms, he also wanted to make her shiver deliciously in his arms, and scream at him in a different way.

Loosening his grip on her, Sakura slumped into the water in front of him. And he turned away. Ashamed at himself. Guilty for having such thoughts just as she revealed her weakness.

"I assure you." He whispered. Leaving the startled girl behind in the water as he walked away alone - further into the ocean; he let the sun scald his skin as punishment and the cold water wash away at his thoughts, waiting for a wave to knock him down the eight levels of hell. "Whatever thoughts you have of me... Mine are much worse."