Back in the bunker, though, there is no triumph on Laurel's face. Her eyes are hollow, her mouth gaping open, and it seems to Nyssa that she barely hears Oliver's anger at what they've done.
"I remember," she finally says, cutting across Oliver's curt speech with a bitingly cold emptiness about her that makes Nyssa shiver.
"You - wait, what?"
"I remember," Laurel repeats. "The bloodlust… it's cleared. And it must have gotten in the way of my memory but I remember now. I remember you, Nyssa. I remember… everything."
"Are you okay?" Oliver asks, and he's no longer furious at her, that much Nyssa can tell.
"No. Oh God, Ollie, what did I just do?"
Oliver steps forward, arms outstretched, but Laurel turns away from his hug.
"I need the room. Just me and Nyssa."
He nods, leaving in the elevator, and it's only once the doors close that Nyssa speaks.
"You regret things already?"
"Nyssa… how could you let me kill him?"
"It was the only way," Nyssa says. "I have seen how the bloodlust has plagued Thea. And I may not have seen it with Sara but I know she is battling it even today. I did not want the same for you."
"Then why did you bring me back in the first place?"
Her words slice at Nyssa's heart. "I meant what I said," Nyssa says. "In your apartment. When I said I could not bear to be on this earth without you, I meant every word."
And somehow Laurel softens slightly. "I know you did. I know. And I get it. I do. But now we have to pay the price."
"What does that mean?"
"You said… our souls were connected. That something brought you back to me, time and time again. But I - don't think that can happen, for us. Not now. Maybe not ever. I can't - be with you. Not after what I did. I killed a man, Nyssa. In cold blood. And somehow now I have to live with that. And you do too. But we can't do that together."
"You don't mean that," Nyssa whispers.
Laurel smiles a sad kind of smile. "You know, it's funny. You never told me the full story of us. You know, the me with amnesia. You never said how I eventually told you to go away. Find yourself. Without the League - and without me."
"I need you," Nyssa says, and she's pleading with Laurel now, with her eyes that are suddenly full of tears. "I would not have brought you back if I did not."
"You don't," Laurel says firmly. "You don't need anyone. Least of all me. Not after what I've done." And Nyssa wonders, briefly, while trying her utmost not to feel hurt by her words, if this is about more than just killing Darhk. There has to be more to it. It doesn't make sense for her to care this much "I'm gonna go, okay?"
Nyssa's voice is soft, now. "Where will you go?"
"To - Central City. I'll go visit my mom, see Cisco. See if I can figure things out. It worked for Sara, right?"
"Right," Nyssa says faintly.
Laurel steps forward, now, her hand going up to the back of Nyssa's neck. "I'm sorry," Laurel says, just before she kisses Nyssa, and Nyssa's sure Laurel can taste the salt of her tears as she clings on for dear life to Laurel's waist, not wanting to ever let her go.
But she does, eventually, and Nyssa wishes as Laurel pulls away and rests her forehead against Nyssa's that the guilt in Laurel's eyes could just disappear.
"I love you," Laurel breathes. "I love you more than anything. I want you to know that."
"I love you too," Nyssa replies. "And I always will."
Central City is sunnier, thankfully, and Dinah is over the moon to see her daughter, unaware of what Laurel did in Star City mere days ago. In a way Laurel takes comfort in that, because at least to Dinah, Laurel is still the daughter she can be proud of.
Dinah doesn't know what Laurel's done. She's better off that way, and Laurel decides Cisco is better off that way too when she drops by his apartment one night.
When he sees her silhouette in the half-darkness of his living room, his eyes immediately widen and he runs forward, enveloping her in a hug before, she's sure, he's even certain it's her.
"Laurel…" he breathes.
"Hey, Cisco," Laurel says, hugging him back. "I've missed you."
"Not half as much as I missed you," Cisco replies. "You - you died. I went to your funeral! And Nyssa goes and dunks you into this Pit and just like that you're good as new."
Laurel's smile falters. "Not quite."
"What do you mean?" He gestures for her to sit down on his couch.
And all of a sudden Laurel's sick of hiding the truth. "I mean I'm back, but I'm not… whole. I - coming back with the Pit has a side effect. You have to deal with the bloodlust of the others who have bathed in those waters."
Slowly Cisco gets to his feet and to Laurel's dismay she realises he's suddenly afraid of her. "And are you okay now?" he asks.
"Yeah," Laurel answers, and Cisco visibly relaxes. "But… it came at a price. Damian Darhk -"
"- killed you, I know," Cisco says, "and now he's dead. Wait," he says, frowning, "are you saying that…"
"I killed him," Laurel says heavily. "And it was… unprovoked. He was unarmed. His magic was weakened."
"He was a dangerous monster and I'm glad he's dead," Cisco says uncharacteristically bluntly.
"But it doesn't change the fact that I killed a man," Laurel insists. "And now… now I don't know what to do."
And then, before she knows it, the whole story comes spilling out of her - how she woke up without any of her post-Gambit memories, and even when the confusion passed she couldn't remember her time as the Black Canary or anything about Nyssa.
"Whoa," Cisco says, "that's trippy."
"Tell me about it," Laurel says. "And I don't know if you know… I know I never told you, but -"
"- you and Nyssa were together?" Cisco smiles, and it's a sad kind of smile that makes Laurel's heart sink. "Yeah, I knew. I knew you loved her, anyway, from the first time I met her."
"How could you tell?" Laurel whispers.
"Just… the way you looked at her. How you were with each other. I could tell."
"We weren't together when you met her," Laurel tells him.
"I know. I could tell that much too. But I could tell you were in love with her, for sure," Cisco says. He pauses, then says tentatively, "I also can guess you're not together now."
Laurel sighs. "What gave it away?"
Cisco shrugs and then shakes his head. "No, you know what? It… doesn't matter."
"No, what is it?" Laurel says, and she reaches out, covers Cisco's hand with her own where it's resting on the couch.
"It's nothing. Just… I have a little experience loving someone I can't have."
He looks straight into her eyes as he says the words, and Laurel knows he's talking about her. She tries to laugh.
"Cisco -"
"Hey, it's not like I ever tried to hide it," Cisco says. "I did tell you I loved you the first time I met you, remember?"
Laurel smiles, squeezing his hand gently. "Yeah, I remember. And it's not that I don't love you, Cisco -"
"- you just love someone else more. I get it."
"You're my friend. You'll always be my friend. And I love you for everything you've done for me. More than that. I love you for everything you are."
"I love you for everything you are too," he says, and she's relieved that his gaze is still warm, that he hasn't tugged his hand away. "And for the record? Everything you are is good. There is not a force in the universe that could make you a bad person. I promise."
She leans in, kisses his cheek. "Thank you, Cisco."
"Anytime."
His phone lights up on the table, and Cisco quickly reads the text.
"Everything okay?" she asks.
He shakes his head. "Not really. While you've been away, Barry… gave up his powers. To save Wally, Iris's brother."
Laurel's eyes widen. "So he's not a speedster anymore?"
"He isn't. But we think there's a way to bring back his powers - by doing another particle accelerator explosion and just - containing it this time."
"That sounds… dangerous," Laurel says.
"It is," Cisco agrees.
"Count me in."
"Are you sure?" he asks.
"Of course. You're there, so I'm there. As moral support, of course," she adds. "I don't know science, obviously."
Cisco laughs. "Moral support is good."