ONE MONTH LATER

Barbara's pacing threatened to wear a groove in Tommy's bedroom carpet. Her shoes were killing her already and she grimaced as a blister began to form on her heel. She stopped at the window and looked out. Everything looked perfectly normal. There was no reason for her to feel as if the world was ending, but she did. In the next hour, Tommy would be taking her out to dinner and she knew he intended to resume their discussion about their relationship. Since the night she had woken screaming and he had come to her, they had not mentioned his confession. True to his word, he had given her a month. She had not needed it, not really, but she still was not sure what she would say.

She sat on the bed and picked up her stuffed panda. Tommy had bought it, and a box of expensive chocolates, as an apology the next afternoon. It stared back at her with a cheeky grin. "Shut up, you little black-eyed bamboo muncher."

The panda continued to grin at her as if to say, 'just tell him you love him.'

"Easy for you to say. There are so many things to consider." The panda continued to grin. "Alright. I love him. Is that what you want to hear?" The bear's eyes looked mournful and remonstrative. "I know. I know, you annoyingly cute black and white ball of fluff; I need to tell him. He knows though. He must. Otherwise he would have said something when I never moved out."

Barbara stood and walked to the window again. She had the stuffed toy in her arms. "And yes, I know he meant what he said. He's been incredibly patient waiting for me to make the first move. I did though didn't I? That second night when I knocked on his door and slipped into his bed. He should have kissed me then. I wouldn't have objected but he is far too honourable for that. He promised me a month and he was determined to give it to me."

Instead of making love to her as Barbara had expected, Tommy had simply taken her in his arms and held her until her trembling subsided. Worried she had misunderstood she had told him, "I… don't know why I'm here."

"Because this is where you belong." He had kissed her forehead and the world had seemed right. "Now get some sleep."

The next day Tommy moved Barbara's bag into his bedroom. Neither of them said anything, but they both knew if she had not wanted it, she was free to move back. She had stayed. Each night they undressed separately but shared his bed. For the first few days, every time she lay in his arms she expected him to act, but he made no attempt to do anything more than hold her. He had been the perfect gentleman, and it was slowly driving her mad.

Tonight, one way or the other, that would change. She sensed that their conversation over dinner was the key to beginning or ending whatever it was that they shared. Was it love? Yes, they loved each other. Were they in love? Barbara had no idea. She wanted to think that they were, but she had no experience to guide her. They both stank at relationships. The only one they could maintain was the one with each other. But that was turbulent and maybe if it became intimate, they would not be able to sustain whatever it was that kept them together. As she turned, her shoe rubbed painfully. She took it off, threw it across the room and swore.

Tommy was well prepared. Over the last month, he had thought through all her possible objections to his idea. He had everything covered, or at least he thought he had. With Barbara discussions could take unpredictable tangents.

He took a deep breath then knocked on the bedroom door. "Ready?"

"Yeah, come in. I'm just changing my shoes."

"You look very nice," he said genuinely.

"Ta." Barbara looked up and her mouth fell open. "You look… very handsome."

Tommy felt his ears heat up. Her look said more than handsome. She was looking at him with the same hunger that she had the day she had watched him shower in Cambridge. His decision to wear a new grey suit was paying off. It had been a while since he had worn his suits, but he knew they emphasised his physique and bearing perfectly. "Thank you. Our booking is for eight."

"People?"

Tommy put his arm around her shoulder and squeezed her to him. "No, o'clock."

"Yeah, sorry. I wasn't thinking."

"Nervous?"

"Yes."

"Don't be. It's only me."

"Yeah, of course." She sounded unconvinced. "Is that your MacBook?"

"Yes, I… thought it might come in handy." Barbara raised her eyebrows but before she could say anything, he had extended his arm. "Your carriage awaits."

Barbara approved of Tommy's choice of restaurant. She had fretted it might be posh and public. Instead he had booked a private booth in the back of an upmarket fish and chippery in Kensington. After an entree of a dozen oysters, they sat back waiting for their main course.

"Those oysters were lovely," she said.

"Yes, very fresh."

"Good choice coming here. It seems relaxed."

"Yes, they serve the fish wrapped in newspaper, just like you used to get at the beach."

"That's cute."

"Yes."

An awkward silence developed. Barbara felt the need to fill the space between them with noise. "Beautiful weather today."

"Yes. Lovely day. No rain this week, but it is London."

Barbara laughed nervously. "So anything could happen."

Tommy looked around the restaurant. "Yes, anything."

"Just get on with it."

"What?"

"Just give me your speech. This small talk is making me more anxious than if we just get straight to it."

Tommy pulled out his MacBook. "Right."

"You wrote a speech? I was joking."

"Yes. No. No, it's not a speech, it's… supporting arguments."

"For what?"

"Well I tried to think of every possible problem, issue, or objection you might raise and I developed a counter argument."

Barbara began to smile. "Seriously? How many do you have?"

Tommy checked his spreadsheet. "437."

"I'm not that argumentative."

He tilted his head and raised his nose ever so slightly. "I think history tells a different story."

She muttered a curse under her breath which made him laugh. "So what do you think I'm going to object to?"

"Barbara, I meant what I said, I love you. And I'm relatively certain those feelings are returned. So, I think we should get married."

"What? You haven't even kissed me yet."

"I'm hoping that will change in the immediate future."

"I thought… I thought you'd suggest that we date and that we start… having sex. I never dreamed you would suggest we marry. That's insane. I'd never fit into your world."

"Section B is devoted to that issue. I have 83 arguments as to why you would fit or how we can minimise your exposure. I want you to be beside me as my wife and countess, but I do understand it is asking a lot at first. So I have several ideas for agreeing on an appropriate level of exposure and depending on how comfortable you are, possibly extending that over time."

"You have 83 ideas."

"Not all ideas, that number included counter objections."

"Right. So when I say I would feel uncomfortable eating with your lot you'd say?"

"Eating? Yes, here. Five points. Firstly, your table manners are fine. I can teach you the finer points of extra cutlery easily. Secondly, we will only go to family functions, and occasions you feel comfortable with until you indicate you would like to accompany me to anything more public. Thirdly, you will have the support of the whole family, not just me, and we will all work hard to ensure you never feel embarrassed or out of place. Fourthly…"

"Stop. What about your mother?"

"Section G. I covered it by saying Mother can sometimes be unintentionally disrespectful of others, even within our lot, as you call us. However, she likes you and I know she wants me to be happy. She will welcome you to the family."

"Your relationship with your mother is already strained."

"Yes. Your point?"

"I don't want to make it worse."

"I didn't cover that one. Not now, but I will tell you the story behind our animosity and you'll understand. You can only bring us closer, not come between us."

"I can't cook."

As if on cue the waitress appeared. "One fish of the day and one Australian Barramundi."

"I'm the barramundi." Tommy smiled at her so sweetly that Barbara felt a pang of jealousy.

"More like a barracuda," Barbara quipped, making the waitress laugh. After the woman left, Barbara tried the fish. "This is good. We might have to eat out, a lot."

"Section A, domestic arrangements. I have several suggestions, mostly related to eating out, but also employing a chef and us both taking cooking lessons which could actually be fun."

Barbara shook her head. "You really do have answers for everything."

"I hope so. I also have my financial statements here so you can understand my net worth and that of the estate which is managed under trust and only partially mine. I don't want to hide anything from you and I want you to gave a say in our affairs."

"I don't want to know how much…" Barbara stared at the figure on the screen that Tommy pushed in front of her. "Bloody hell! That much?"

"Yes, which brings me to my second proposal. I want us to give up work."

"And move to Cornwall?"

"No. We could spend more time there, but I don't want either of us worrying about the other. That incident… well it might have finally brought us together, but we would be split up as partners once we marry, and I couldn't manage each day worrying where you were or if you were in danger."

"Neither could I."

"Good. So what other objections do you have?"

"I think it'd be easier for me to just read your list and see if you missed any."

Tommy smiled and passed her his computer. She browsed through his list. "Section D, Sex and Children."

"Yes?"

"Don't look so worried. I see you would like children, health permitting, but it is up to me and if we can't have any, it's not an issue."

"Yes. I think number 256 covers the heir issue. I don't mind if the title passes to Peter or his son."

"It's not that. Number 253. I have never had any sexually communicable diseases. Seriously?"

Tommy looked affronted and grabbed the computer. "It's true. See here. A scan of my doctor's certificate attesting to that and the negative test results."

"I wasn't implying you had something. I just don't believe you thought I would think that, or that I'd need proof. Is that why you haven't… made a move?"

"No. I've wanted to. Very much. In fact some nights I had to sleep in very difficult positions so that you would never notice how much I wanted to. It wasn't up to me. You never called me Tommy. I know you dropped Eddie after a few days."

"It seemed stupid."

"But you never said Tommy. So I waited. I gave you your month."

"Idiot."

He moved back and looked at her. "Why?"

"I was waiting for… I don't know. A sign. Something."

"Sex would have been easy, but I don't want an affair. I want to marry you and spend our lives together. You needed time to adjust to that."

"I still do. I never expected that."

"Didn't you? You moved into my room and never left. I think you knew where it was heading. Neither of us want to be apart."

"What if we find that… we're not compatible… sexually."

Tommy passed her back the computer. "Numbers 249 and 250."

Barbara read the long entries and blushed. "Yes, okay. I can't argue with that, it sounds… compatible. What's this one? Number 251 Contraception."

"As stated, the form of contraception, if any, is entirely your choice."

"I don't know about the Pill at my age."

"There are other methods. We can visit my doctor for advice and in the meantime, if we… become intimate, I can use condoms."

"Men don't like them."

"Barbara, reducing my pleasure slightly is nothing to protect you from risk."

"If you have no diseases…"

"I am fertile though."

Barbara blushed. "Good to know. I suppose you gave a medical certificate for it."

His ears turned red and he nodded. Barbara shut the computer. "I think you've made your point."

"So?"

"I love you, Tommy."

His face lit up. "So you're saying yes?"

"I think so, but let's give ourselves a week where either party can back out with no ill feelings."

"I won't back out."

"You might regret that."

Tommy leant over and kissed her. It was confident and reassuring, firm yet gentle and loving.

"Wow."

"Yes, still worried about compatibility?"

"No, now I'm worried if any pharmacies will still be open."

Tommy smiled. "No need. There are a couple of packets in my bedside drawer."

Barbara arched her eyebrows. "Oh? Old stock?"

He smiled wickedly. "No, I bought them when I bought your panda. I wanted to be ready if you made a move. Now hurry up and finish your fish."

Barbara took a large bite and without looking up spoke with her mouth half full. "I particularly liked the sound of Number 250."