Karkat got home half an hour later than usual, but Kankri was the only one to notice. His entire walk home, he thought of what Doc Scratch said. It sounded insane. But Karkat believed him. Maybe it was wishful thinking. Maybe he wanted there to be someone he could take revenge one. Leonid Brots died in prison. The next best thing Karkat had was the kingpin of a powerful gang.

"What took you so long?" Kankri asked when Karkat did get home.

"Almost got mugged. Is anyone else home?"

"No, everyone is at work. You got mugged? Are you hurt?" Kankri's voice was overflowing with concern.

"Yeah, I died, actually. Fucking shit, you moron, did your brain cells all decide suicide was the answer before they performed a nosedive off of your high horse?"

"Well, you're obviously fine. I was about to leave, do you want anything? I wouldn't mind, I had no idea what to get you this year so it could function as a gift."

"Well fucking gee, thanks for your kindness! Could I ask for some advice before you go?"

Kankri scowled at the sarcastic tone, but replied, "Of course. What do you need?"

"How much do you know about The Felt?"

Kankri chuckled. "I think Spades would be more versed in that topic, little brother."

"I don't want a whole rant on how it's made up of assholes. I need solid information."

"Well, The Felt is led by Lord English, but nobody knows who or what he is. Members of the gang are called leprechauns, which has led many to believe Lord English is a traditionalist human of Irish descent. Aside from Lord English, the other known member of The Felt is Snowball. Now, I don't believe it is publicly known who or what Snowball is either, but if you ever care to listen to Spades, she's a black carapace. The Felt specializes in drug trafficking, human trafficking, and extortion. Right now, their greatest money maker is a new drug, Tricks. When I was at college, some of the richer kids would buy some of it. It's sold in the form of lollipops, and gives someone a long high. It's actually very dangerous, and can cause severe brain damage. The Midnight Crew hates it, but I think that's because they're dealing your general street and prescription drugs. Honestly, it's disgusting behavior on both ends. How our father could ever condone such things, I'll never know."

"Yeah, well, save that for when you become the next DA or something. Thanks though. Do you mind buying me some chips?"

"Of course. Happy birthday." Before Kankri left, he turned to face Karkat. "And whatever you were going to do with that information about The Felt, please don't. It will most likely be extremely asinine and might get you killed. I refuse to be the only Vantas."

With that, Kankri walked out of the door, leaving Karkat with an empty feeling in his stomach. He couldn't abandon this though. Kankri would understand. This was bigger than either of them. This was about their Dad.

With this in mind, Karkat went up to his room. Slick's house was nothing extravagant, so Karkat's room was neither big nor small. He had the opportunity to paint the walls, but he never minded beige and kept it as was. Inside was his recuperacoon, his desk, a chair, and his laptop. Tossing his backpack to the floor, he opened his laptop. Nepeta and Kanaya were both online. So were tentacleTherapist, adiosToreador, and turntechGodhead. He opened a chat with Kanaya, the smartest person he knew.

carcinoGeneticist [CG] began trolling grimAuxiliatrix [GA]!

CG: I NEED HELP.

CG: AND YOU'RE SMART.

GA: Thank You

GA: What Do You Need

CG: DO YOU KNOW OF ANY POSSIBLE WAY I COULD INFILTRATE A GANG AND POSSIBLY TAKE REVENGE ON THE KINGPIN.

GA: No

GA: Stop

GA: I Only Have A Vague Idea Of What You Plan To Do But I Can Already Say That It Is Stupid And Will Probably Get You Killed.

CG: I'M TRYING TO BE SMART ABOUT THIS OKAY. I AM TRYING TO PLAN IT OUT AND NOT RUSH IN GUNS ABLAZING.

CG: SO HELP ME OUT SO I *DON'T* END UP GETTING SHOT.

GA: I Have Very Limited Knowledge Pertaining To Gangs And Mobs

GA: Unlike You I Dont Have The Advantage Of Being Partially Raised By A Criminal

CG: PITY. CAN YOU POINT ME IN THE DIRECTION OF SOMEONE WHO IS ACTUALLY FUCKING USEFUL?

GA: What Happened To Me Being Smart

GA: Maybe I Should Stop Letting You Copy My Notes And See How You Fare On Your Own

CG: OH PLEASE GOD NO.

CG: I'M SORRY. PLEASE DON'T DEPRIVE ME OF YOUR NOTES YOU'RE THE ONLY REASON I'M PASSING SOME OF MY CLASSES.

GA: Apology Accepted

GA: As For Someone Who Might Know What To Do I Would Suggest Tentacletherapist

GA: She Is Very Interested In Political Scandals And Gang Relations So She Might Know Something

CG: FUCK. SHE'S WORSE THAN YOU.

GA: Careful Now Karkat Your Access To My Notes Is On The Line

CG: FINE. YOU ARE MY FAVORITE PERSON. THANK YOU FOR EXISTING. I WILL TALK TO THE SECOND FLIGHTY BROAD.

GA: Have Fun

GA: Please Tell Her I Say Hello

CG: WE'RE ONLINE, DO IT YOURSELF.

carcinoGeneticist [CG] ceased trolling grimAuxiliatrix [GA]!

Karkat groaned and laid his head on his desk before picking himself up and returning to his laptop. Talking with the first half of the flighty broads had proven useless. Time to try the second half.

carcinoGeneticist [CG] started trolling tentacleTherapist [TT]!

CG: KANAYA SAYS HI.

TT: Thrilling. Thank you for playing messenger boy and relaying this dreadfully important information to me.

CG: YUP. THAT WAS ALL.

CG: ALSO I NEED ADVICE ON HOW TO DO SOMETHING EXTREMELY STUPID.

CG: I NEED TO INFILTRATE THE FELT.

TT: Don't you live with a crime lord?

CG: YES BUT HE ISN'T EVIL OR RUTHLESS OR ANYTHING LIKE THAT. I FEEL LIKE THE IDEA YOU HAVE OF HIM MIGHT BE EXAGGERATED.

CG: BUT FOR NOW, LET'S ASSUME I AM ALONE IN THIS ENDEAVOR.

TT: May I ask why?

CG: REMEMBER THE SIGNLESS?

TT: It wasn't that long ago. Of course I remember him. What about him?

CG: LEONID BROTS, THE MURDERER, WAS PART OF THE KNIGHTS. I FOUND OUT THAT HE WAS HIRED BY THE FELT.

TT: From who?

CG: SOME GUY IN A MANSION THAT EVERYONE THINKS IS ABANDONED. HE SAID HIS NAME IS DOC SCRATCH, AND HE USED TO WORK FOR THE FELT.

TT: Well how couldn't you trust him?

TT: If you want my advice, I'd suggest you adopt an alias and join The Felt. But that is risky and probably will get you killed. So it'd be smarter for you to ask your adoptive father.

CG: GOT IT.

CG: THANKS.

TT: It's not a problem. Please refrain from dying. I think Kanaya wanted me to talk you out of this.

tentacleTherapist [TT] ceased pestering carcinoGeneticist [CG]!

Karkat had officially had the two most pointless conversations of his life. He closed his laptop, ignoring any more messages from his other friends. Downstairs, the door opened and then closed shut. Karkat went downstairs, and saw that Kankri was back home. "Hi. I bought you some chips, a soda, and a new movie. I'm not sure what it's about, but it was on discount."

"Thanks Kankri," Karkat said, genuinely surprised with the gifts. Now that Kankri had graduated, he was more willing to spend money as opposed to saving it for food.

"No problem. Did you think about what I told you?"

"Yeah. I need to talk to Slick."