15 June 2015
The thought of carnivorous plants has been pretty entertaining to me recently.
04. Keeping
of tomatoes that were meant to be sold.
Kirby liked eating.
"I do too!" you whine at the phrase up ahead. Not because of any particular reason apart from the fact that you do. Like eating, I mean.
Maybe that was an understatement. When it came to eating, Kirby was a little... tenacious. Very tenacious. Though, he didn't really have the money to satisfy himself constantly.
Kirby was a hero, sure, but he didn't actually get pay for it. He got small (or big) gifts sometimes, but he didn't actually get paid for it, no. And the "government" didn't reward him or anything, mostly because on Pop Star, it wasn't really considered a government, and hey. Hey. The "government" was the one whom he protected Dream Land from. He was a little miffed about it. He at least deserved a little more rewards, right? Right?
For a living, Kirby grew crops. Simple job, nothing outstanding. There had been a small field near Kirby's house and he claimed it, found some seeds and started planting. He sold them directly to people. Most of them bought from him because he was the only farm in that area, albeit a little small, and they weren't ridiculous prices either.
"No more tomatoes," Kirby said absentmindedly, before looking back down at his sketchbook and drawing god-knows-what. His stall consisted of a creaky bench and a wooden sign with "CROPS FOR SALE" sloppily painted on in red paint.
Bandana Dee sighed, wringing his hands. "Really? I thought really little people buy stuff from you..."
"Yes, and I grow really little stuff as a result. And it was only last week that you bought some of those leeks—lettuce, or whatever—and you're coming down again?"
"Cabbage," Bandana Dee corrected. "And it's not my fault. Orders are orders."
Looking back up, Kirby twirled his pencil and shrugged. "Go head off to the village's markets, or something. I'm sure they provide."
"I went to them already. They were my first stop. Not you."
"Thanks."
It took Bandana Dee a while to understand Kirby's reply. "Sorry—that wasn't what I meant."
A very awkward silence entailed that, and Bandana Dee wasn't sure whether he should just abscond the heck out of there or just stand there and let some surprising being push him into what Kirby would call a garden of carnivorous plants and then he would be eaten alive and on his gravestone they would write under his pathetic name, "EATEN ALIVE BY CARNIVOROUS PLANTS."
"Oh!" Kirby suddenly yelled—okay, no, he didn't yell, but it was loud enough to startle Bandana Dee and send the poor thing shrieking and decamped into a very thin bush nearby. "It's teatime!" And with that, the puffball retreated into his hemisphere-shaped house.
Teatime? That was around three or four, right? And he was to be back at five. No way he'd make it there back in time. Maybe he'd just stay in the shadows of the thin bush and hope he would never be found, and then he'd be out in the newspapers. Maybe.
While Bandana Dee was having his inner war of near-self-destruction, Kirby emerged and was back sitting on the bench with his sketchbook and everything, only that he had a basket full of suspiciously red things and he was eating one of the suspiciously red things.
"You said you were out of tomatoes," Bandana Dee huffed, who, even though was still apparently in the woes, was still aware of the suspiciously red things' existence.
"Bandana Dee, let me tell you something," Kirby sighed exasperatedly, completely avoiding Bandana Dee's statement. "When life gives you lemons, you use them to replace tomatoes. Go! Go forth and find those lemons I'm sure you can find!"
"You are incredibly selfish," Bandana Dee spat, crawling out of the shrub, "and unless you can find me a pizza that uses lemons instead of tomatoes, I am not going to listen to you. At all."
"Whatever, whatever, potato, potahto." Kirby rolled his eyes. "Anyway, these are expired. I kind of forgot about them after I harvested 'em, and I can't be selling those. Besides, you can make pizza with lemons instead of tomatoes, you know. You'll just get a really gross pizza and no one'll want to eat it."
Bandana Dee sighed, turning heel, back to the castle, and added "do not bother arguing with Kirby" in his list of do-nots.