If you hadn't guessed from the summary this story is going to be considerably darker than my usual fare. Not much in the way of fluff and fun here I'm afraid as this is from that deep, dark place at the depressive end of my mind which makes, thankfully, infrequent appearances. Unfortunately for you that also means rather infrequent updates as, for my own mental health, I can't stay in this kind of a mood for long. Although I have found that 'writing it out' is a much more productive use of these depressive spirals, that I get caught in every now and again, than sitting, brooding in a darkened room.
This is the first time I have written in 'first person' perspective so please forgive any rookie errors that I may make along the way.
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I'm not JKR and I don't make any money from this. Which is a bit of a shame.
DtR xx.
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Riddle; Story of a Devil.
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Chapter 2. Big School.
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My first week at Hogwarts was a blur of activity and meetings designed to test my skill level in the core classes since those were all that I would be taking. With the linguistic assistance of Madame Vector, who was taking time out of her own busy schedule to tutor me in English, I took papers and practised wand movements and spells with all of my new professors. I did passably well in most of these, considering that everything I had learned previously was self taught and limited by what books I could acquire, but as expected it was in Potions where I really shone.
I honestly believed that given access to the appropriate texts and ingredients I could have passed my Potions NEWT right then and there if the 'catch up' work that I was given was any indication. The greasy haired, hook nosed professor Snape actually seemed to agree with me on this point which assertion he then voiced, startling those among the staff that heard it. He was still a creepy, bloody nonce in my considered opinion by he was a creepy, bloody nonce who was at least skilled enough to be impressed by the excellent standard of my brewing.
It was very disconcerting for me to have the horrid man so close to me, hovering around, watching every move that I made, observing the little rituals that I followed in order to make the most effective use of my time. And all the while I felt those cunning, beady eyes on me, flicking every now and then to my face with an expression of wonder before his mask slipped quickly back into place. After our first three hour session when I made everything from burn paste to amortentia he indicated that I should pack up my things and be prepared to join his seventh year class the next week. Although considering my relatively light workload compared to the rest of the students at the school he informed me that he would be expecting me to tutor the younger years.
The consensus of opinion among the educators was that it would simply be too much work for me to catch up on two electives as well as all of the usual classes and the potions tutoring that was now expected of me. Surprisingly perhaps for someone with my absolute thirst for knowledge I agreed whole-heartedly with this decision and was more than happy to start off slowly. After all ther was nothing to stop me reading up on those subjects and coming back later on if I wanted to pursue exams or do some further study in them.
This attitude seemed to please the headmaster who had decided to provisionally enter me into the Fourth Year for all classes barring Potions to start with to see how I coped with the work before reviewing that decision at the Winter break. And so, on the tenth of September, immediately after breakfast, I walked into my first proper class at a proper school and sat down next to the girl who I had developed a massive crush on to wait for the professor.
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My English had come on in leaps and bounds with both professors Vector and Flitwick helping out and it hadn't been more than a couple of days before I was able to hold a reasonable conversation without embarrassing myself too badly. Admitedly they were still fairly stilted and quite short but nevertheless I was getting there. I was considerably better at written English mind you which helped enormously in the first, theory based part of the class even if I was occasionally distracted by the presence of the small blonde goddess next to me.
Thankfully the class was Charms and the very wonderful professor Flitwick made it an easy and exciting experience for me. He fluttered around the classroom giving out his tidbits of advice and correcting the mistakes of his young charges, pointing them in the right direction. The most exciting thing for me of course was the opportunity to use my wand for the first time with more than one other person in the room. Unfortunately it did not go as well as I had hoped, although whether this was due mostly to my unfamiliarity with the business of incanting the spell as I cast or my nervousness around all of these other people I was unsure.
What should have been a simple spell to make a small bluebell flame appear in a glass, in my inexperienced hands, became something else entirely and resulted in purplish jet of flame shooting from my wand and setting fire to the desk. The tiny professor was immediately at the scene and worked to repair my poor handiwork. He seemed to have to work quite hard to stop the burning if the sweat on his brow was any indication and once he was done he turned to me with a puzzled expression and asked to examine my wand.
Upon receiving it he turned the ebony focus over and about, running his practised eye over it for a good few minutes before handing it back to me with a slight frown and asking me to remain behind after class.
Once everyone had left and we were alone he made sure to cast a few spells around us and began. Rather hesitantly I felt.
"Miss Riddle." The professor spoke slowly and carefully, trying to avoid any difficult words or concepts. Bless him. "Do you know what that spell was that you cast in class today. What it's called or what it does?"
"Non Monsieur le professuer, I 'ave no idea."
"This wand chose you yes?"
The sudden change of tack surprised me but I nodded carefully, keeping my eyes on the floor.
"It is a most remarkable item my dear." He seemed to be searching for the right words. "A very powerful wand for a very powerful magic user ... but ... almost entirely suited to 'dark' magic."
My panic at this statement must have shown on my face as I knew from my reading at least some of what the British thought of dark magic.
"Now, now Miss Riddle don't panic. That doesn't mean that it can't do 'light' magic or that you have to be a dark witch to use it and even if it did that's not as a terrible a thing as you're imagining it to be, I'm sure." He patted my hand. "Of course it's probably best if others don't know about this until you have better control with this remarkable wand so, that being said, try not to use it for the rest of the day and we'll meet here after dinner so that you can practice some more. What's your next class?"
"Potions."
"Exellent, no wands there and I'll write you a pass for your last lesson of the day explaining that we will be working on your wand control this evening so you won't have to use it again today."
The little hand of my seemingly unworried Head of House was patting and stroking again in an attempt to keep me calm.
"Don't worry dear, you're not the first student to encounter this problem and I doubt that you will be the last. Rest assured we will work on this together and you'll be merrily casting away with the best of them before long."
Despite his assurances I was motified that my first lesson had ended up being such a total disaster and also that there was the very real possibility that I could be dark witch in the making. Even I knew that was a bad thing.
"Well I shan't keep you any longer Miss Riddle as I'm certain that the delightful Miss Lovegood is waiting for you outside and I don't want either of you to be late for your next class."
I didn't fail to notice his unease with me even through the cheerful and helpful facade that he somehow kept up through our conversation. The poor man was probably as freaked out as I was at the results of my first class at Hogwarts, athough since he knew that I had just cast 'fiendfire' without any conscious effort or knowledge on my part I can't really blame him. I always have been un-naturally gifted with that particular spell as my enemies can attest to. Well they could if any of them were still alive. It was still more than a little disconcerting for me back then though.
Luckily there was something waiting in the dungeons on that day that was guaranteed to cheer me up. Potions with the talented but taciturn and creepy Master Snape.
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My first Potions class at Hogwarts was quite a fun affair for me. The seventh years that I was sharing a lab with clearly didn't think so but then professor Snape wasn't exactly nice to them or me for that matter so I couldn't really blame them for their reaction to him. For myself though, having been subjected to my grandmere's carrot and stick method of teaching which focused almost exclusively on the stick, Severus Snape was about as intimidating as a week old kitten. About as useful too since he simply wrote the most basic of instructions on a large board and then slunk off behind his desk to scowl at the 'dunderheads', offering a great deal of sarcasm but very little in the way of actual help.
I did notice, however, that the nasty tempered man could hardly keep his dark, hooded eyes off of me and when he did look away it was only to briefly sneer at another student before he was right back staring at station where I toiled away in isolation. Not that I was having to work very hard as this was a very simple potion for me and one that I was extremely familiar with. Still I had my hard learned work ethic and stuck to my usual habits of excessive and painstaking accuracy in both the preparation of the ingredients and the actual brewing. He was either very impressed or just biding his time so that he could berate me in private.
"Miss Riddle I find myself in the ... unusual position of requiring the assistance of a student."
Looking back I suppose that I should have been worried about the creepy, greasy git's intentions after that statement but as I have pointed out before I was very naive back then.
"Miss Greengrass, a student in my House, is in desperate of some remedial tuition in potions as at her current skill level she will, I fear, fail her OWL in the subject rather spectacularly. Such an event cannot be permitted."
Having just experienced his piss poor and frankly lazy teaching methods for the last couple of hours I wasn't even slightly surprised about that.
"Since the Greengrass family is heavily involved in the potion ingredient industry and her father is a prominent and powerful man in certain quarters that would lead to some ... unfortunate consequences for me as her professor. Of course the consequences for her will be worse. Lord Greengrass is one of those old school Heads of House who does not take disappointment well. She is expected to pass and to pass well but without help she is more than likely to end up married off early to one of his business 'friends'."
My English still wasn't quite up to following this ranting monologue, full of fake sorrow and anger at the fate of this poor, defenceless waif who he clearly didn't give a shit about but I understood enough to get the point. The professor had obviously been paying attention to my mooning about over a certain bonde Ravenclaw and had decided to use my clearly demonstrated sexual proclivities to get me to help the girl. Naive girl with no friends? Of course I said yes.
He looked at me over his hooked nose and inclined his head slightly. I assumed that this was all the thanks that I was going to get for my 'assistance' so I packed up my brewing kit and left the classroom without further comment. Headmaster Dumbledore had assured me that he was a Potions Master of the highest calibre and I found myself hoping that, for his own sake, this was the truth as the horrid man certainly didn't have anything else going for him. Like teaching ability, manners or even basic hygiene. I grew up in a shack in the boonies where it rained pretty much constantly for nine months of the year and turned the earth to a muddy paste and I still managed to keep myself cleaner than Severus Snape.
As I came to know later his soul was just as black and dirty as his robes.
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My first session with the mysterious Miss Greengrass was to be held the very next evening and professor Snape had given the use of the Potions lab for our studies. Given my love of and proficiency in the subject this lab was one of the first places that I had learned how to get to and from so I was there a good long while ahead of time and was reading my English primer while I waited. So engrossed in this was I that I completely failed to notice the arrival of two very pretty blonde witches who were clearly sisters entering the lab.
"Hello Miss Riddle, I hear that you are to be my saviour."
"Therese."
"Oh." She looked rather surprised that I gave her me Christian name. "I'm Daphne then and this is my little sister Astoria. I hope you don't mind if she joins us, 'Tori's just fascinated with brewing."
Since taking over the management of Magical Britain I have always been wary of people who smile too much. In my experience if someone is smiling sweetly at you then they're usually trying to hide something terrible that they've done wrong or they're working out exactly how they're going to fuck you over in the future. I much prefer sneerers and cringers as they're so much easier to read. Back then though I was still the simple country girl who had been transplanted into this den of pureblood politics and manipulative masters so I smiled back happily.
Contrary to the 'good' professor Snape's assertions Daphne was a fairly respectable potions brewer. It was easy to spot if you knew what to look for although she tried her best to hide it. There was no doubt that she was up to something but I regret to say that I was so hungry for this wonderful new world of friendship that I overlooked her real purpose in being here and just let it happen. Besides her little sister Astoria really was not much good and I focused most of our tutorials on her.
Both Daphne and I knew what was going on but there seemed to be an unspoken agreement between us that neither of us would talk about it.
The best part of this whole arrangement was that both Daphne and Astoria Greengrass spoke French. At last I could communicate with two fellow students and if I did not have the words in English then switching to French and asking for the translation would provide me with them. And despite whatever nefarious purose there was hidden behind these 'lessons' the three of us actually became friends.
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September quickly passed into October as I settled into the pattern of life at the castle.
Most students viewed me as something of an oddity but the fact that I kept very much to myself and was rather quiet and shy around other people meant that I very quickly integrated into my House. Ravenclaws were apparently supposed to be introspective and work focused so , for once in my life, I seemed to fit right in and was pretty much ignored by the general population of the school. There were a few openly hostile Gryffindor students who I learned were Ron and Ginny Weasley, Hermione Granger and Harry Potter (that's right the 'boy-who-lived' really didn't like me for some reason) but otherwise I was accepted with a kind of bored neutrality.
Some students were positively attentive, however. Luna was a very physically demonstrative person and was always touching or hugging me, which I will admit left me both elated at the contact and terrified that it would stop, while the Greengrass sisters had become something akin to friends. Not that I knew what friends were at that point but they seemed to be making an effort even sitting at the Ravenclaw table for lunch one day. It was the only time that I had ever seen a frown on Luna's face. It wasn't there for long, maybe only a few seconds, but it still happened and, on reflection, it should have been a warning bell for me.
But I was far too happy to be worried about such things. I had classes which I loved, school work and homework which I loved, friends which I loved and even a funny, little, blonde witch who I loved. That funny, little, blonde witch had also begun calling me 'Teri' which made it feel a bit like my heart was doing laps in my chest cavity. As far as I was concerned life was perfect.
It wouldn't stay that way for long.
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Halloween 1995 marked a couple of important things for me. This eventful evening drew a battle line between myself and the Gryffindors and it progressed my relationship with Luna to new heights.
The small, mean looking and universally hated Defence Against the Dark Arts professor, Delores Umbridge was the catalyst for the trouble that occurred that night.
I was rather confused by this attitude towards her at first since she had provided a text book that was incredibly well suited to my needs as a novice in the field and let me read it in class without too much in the way of interruption. That confusion was cleared up quite quickly, however, when Luna told me that she and indeed every other student in every other year goup was using the very same book. I mean for me who had never before studied the subject it made sense to give me this, what I thought to be, introductory reading but for anyone over a second year level it would be worse than useless.
Those incapable or unable to do a great deal of independant study would find themselves failing their exams in pretty short order and were understandably upset with the woman but I continued to treat her with respect. My reasons for doing this were very simple. First the source materials that she provided were eminently suitable (for me anyway), second I had no exams this year and third and most importantly I saw how she treated those who complained. I figured that there was no point in fighting a battle you can't win with a teacher who wouldn't even be here next year if the rumours of this 'curse' on her position were true.
Others were not so practical as myself in their approach and they suffered the consequences for, what they probably believed to be, their heroic stand against Umbridge. Potter was seemingly entirely unable to ignore the woman's spiteful little barbs I heard and always responded thus becoming the focus for her retaliation which looked rather painful if what I could see of his hand at breakfast most mornings was any indication. And then at the Halloween quidditch match the damned fool handed her the opportunity to ban him from playing.
So he and his friends were in a righteous rage that night and looking for anyone who they perceived as an enemy to vent their collective spleen upon. Malfoy who appeared to be his normal sparring partner in these matches was keeping an uncharacteristically low profile so their frustration just grew. Until they met Luna and I making our way back to the dorm after the feast that is.
The 'boy-who-lived' and his two friends appeared unexpectedly from around the corner and looked about to apologise until he recognised who it was that they had almost run down.
"Oh look out here comes the Dark Daughter and her nut-job sidekick."
Dark Daughter was a new one on me and since it didn't mean anything to me I shrugged and looked to carry on walking without comment. There was no point in getting into a fight with him that I would surely lose anyway given my very recent start in learning curses and such but it seemed that he and the Weasley boy in particular weren't going to let that happen.
"I've heard about your evil wand. A dark wand for a dark witch. Daddy must be very proud."
"What are you talking about? My wand isn't evil and I've even met my father." I will admit that I may have sneered somewhat here. "Whoever he may be."
"Sneaky, lying little cunt." The angry young red headed man hissed at me. "It's no wonder the only people that can stomach you are 'looney' and those two slimy snake Greengrass bitches."
Now Weasley clearly wasn't to know this yet but I do possess a quite spectacularly violent temper, however, insulting someone that you don't know and their closest, or indeed, only friends is never a good idea. He should have known that it would get some kind of reaction and he may even have said it to provoke exactly that thing but to do it without knowing his target's skill level showed a an extreme lack of intelligence and forethought that was outright dangerous. To be fair the Granger girl seemed to realise this and her hasitily thrown up shield was the only reason that I didn't end up in Azkaban that night.
Her protego shield shattered at the impact from my rage fuelled blasting curse that I had no idea that I even knew and it threw all three of them hard into the wall at the end of the corridor where we were. The fact that the wall was a good twenty feet from where they had previously been standing was a testament to my fury and to the power that I apparently possessed. And it scared them. Well it scared one of them. Granger was looking at me with absolute terror in her eyes and was scrabbling on the ground for her wand until she saw that Luna, having summoned them to her, was play sword fighting herself with her's and Potter's. Weasley's wand was currently stuck in her ponytail.
I believe that we may have looked as odd a couple as anyone has ever seen as Luna and I respectively skipped happily and strode menacingly towards the now very scared downed Gryffindors. The three previously antagonistic fifth years watched with wde, saucerlike eyes as I loomed theatrically over them and growled out.
"Say what you like to me, I don't care. You are beneath my interest ... but ... insult Miss Lovegood again and I will fucking end you."
My English had been getting pretty good of late but in no way was it good enough to deliver that promise to the 'golden trio' with so much venom and so little trace of my still very heavy French accent. It was very strange hearing it in my own ears I don't mind telling you.
And as quickly as the rage had come upon me it was suddenly gone. Although I put this mainly down to the quirky blonde vision of loveliness rubbing soothing circles on my back and telling me that it was all going to be okay. I smiled at her and then pausing only for Luna to post our assailants' wands through the visor of a nearby suit of armour the two of us continued our journey to the Ravenclaw tower hand in hand.
Once back in our double room I tossed my wand onto the bed and turned to check that my room-mate was alright after having witnessed me almost kill three mostly innocent people for daring to attempt to injure her with their words. Before I could speak, however, she beat me to it.
"You know you really are the most nargle free person I've ever met Teri."
"Quoi?"
She giggled at my confusion and leaned in to me, slipping her arms around my waist for a soft, warm hug before looking into my eyes.
"I'm saying thank-you."
"Oh ... mmph."
And then she kissed me.
Right on lips.
I was rivetted to the spot, totally immobile while the girl who I had been obsessing over for the last two months giggled at the shocked look on my face and bounced off to the bathroom.
How long I was stood there like that I don't seem to be able to recall but it must have been a fair while as I was still there when she returned from her pre sleep ablutions. The fact that she was dressed now in a very short, pale pink nightie complete with cute, fluffy bunny motif was certainly not helping my state of mind or my inability to move and she took advantage of this by sliding up into my arms again.
"Your eyes go a very pretty shade of red when you get angry."
Then she kissed me again and hopped into her own bed with a sleepy 'g'night Teri' while I continued to stand stock still in the dark in the middle of the room like a moron. At last a twitch at the edge of my lips began to spread until I was wearing a huge, goofy grin on my face and, still fully clothed, I dropped to the rug like a stone.
I daresay it that on that rug wasn't the most comfortable place to sleep or the warmest, although I had known worse, but it wasn't either of those things that woke me that night. It was the nightmare. The nightmare of another red eyed person standing over me with a grim, snake like face and a bone white wand chanting over and over again.
"Crucio, crucio, crucio."
The level of pain was insane and it snapped me awake and left me sweating and gasping for breath. Thankfully I had managed to keep my screams at the all too real feeling agony that I had just endured bottled up in my brain so my darling Luna was un-disturbed in her peaceful slumbers. Moving to the bathroom I stripped off my damp clothes and splashed cold water on my face before returning to climb between the crisp sheets and shudder at the horror of my nightmare while not sleeping. I spent the rest of the night not sleeping. I didn't dare for fear of being sucked back into the clutches of the semi human wizard who dealt out such pain with nothing but a grim smile.
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As usual I write for me. Honestly I really don't mind if nobody else reads this at all but reviews are always nice and I'd certainly never turn them away, just don't get caught up in the whole 'they would never do that' trap. This is all going to be pretty AU stuff.
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DtR xx.