Yuri knew he would remember that June day for the rest of his life. Somehow, they didn't cause a scandal; they managed to refrain from committing any indecencies until arriving in Otabek's flat, which was the only sensible option. The training was completely out of place in this situation, just as Yuri had predicted (which he admitted with some triumph, but mostly with daze), but they didn't care about one cancelled session. On the way, Otabek didn't let go of his hand, not for a moment, and Yuri was grateful for that. Otabek's physical presence could always encourage him. Not that he feared what was to come; he simply felt bewildered and didn't trust himself to act sensibly... that was, of course, if one could behave reasonably in such circumstances. Nonetheless, there apparently were people capable of it...

Otabek's calm almost frightened him, and that was what he focused on during their short trip by metro. He still couldn't grasp how one could act so composedly... Himself, he'd felt like a pudding for the last two weeks. He'd been completely off balance, and to such the extent he couldn't really control his actions. His emotions had dominated him completely, almost turning him into someone else. Yuri Plisetsky, even if he would often swear and kick various items, would do so with full conscience and in order to show something, not hide... and this time had been the opposite. Otabek, on the other hand, had related to the situation in a completely different manner: above all, he had remained calm. Then he'd coolly analysed the problem, found the solution and presented it to Yuri. He hadn't let emotions govern him at any point; no, he had behaved like a mature man - and Yuri for the first time realised the difference between 'adulthood' and 'maturity'.

Then again, should he be that surprised? It was Otabek Altin, whom Yuri had never seen thrown off balance. Never. He couldn't imagine Otabek start screaming, swearing, making scenes or acting in a violently. Even if all people on Earth went crazy or panicked for one reason or another, Yuri was sure as he was of his own name that Otabek would undoubtedly remain calm and clear-headed. And if he didn't, then it would mean end of the world. For most of the time, Yuri would feel comforted, knowing he could always rely on Otabek's composure. He had a feeling that no matter what idiocy he would suggest or what folly he would get into, Otabek would always be there to kindly yet firmly put him straight. He needed it, he needed such limits - or such frames he could stretch his personality on, that irrepressible and restless nature of his. Had it been not for Otabek, he probably would have lost touch with reality long ago, letting life sweep him along and never thinking it might do him harm.

Still, it didn't change the fact that now Otabek's calm and composure intimidated him - as did those decisions Otabek had made. Over and over, he re-enacted that scene – that talk - in the changing-room and, later, on the ice, and he still couldn't believe it had ended the way it had. He had presumed ten different conclusions, and all of them unfavourable for himself. Yes, he had underestimated Otabek, and it hadn't occurred to him to regard the situation from his point of view; he'd wanted to handle it himself and hadn't even thought Otabek might take part in it. Well, 'handling it himself' had meant that Otabek would never realise it... The thing was that even considering the option that Otabek did realise, Yuri had never - save for those visions he'd perfectly considered as his dreams only - assumed that it might end like... like now.

It was a strange realisation that he'd been surprised by calm and composure that were the most obvious thing in the world.

Contrary to him, Otabek had related to the matter not from his own but from Yuri's point of view. He had tuned himself to Yuri, opened himself to Yuri and adjusted himself to Yuri. He'd treated the problem as something to be solved - and not in the way that might divide them, but that would make them closer. He'd answered Yuri's all questions, objections and concerns patiently and calmly, without fear or anger, just like he always did. How come someone as perfect could even exist? How come someone like that had happened to be in Yuri's life? How come he was Yuri's best friend? It was simply hard to believe it... but that warm hand that would squeeze his fingers tighter every now and then, helped him to believe - also when he started to doubt Otabek's intention and suspect Otabek did it only for his sake, not due to his own will.

However, when they found themselves in Otabek's flat and gave in to desire, it appeared that Otabek was capable of different behaviour than only calm and composed... which in these circumstances fitted better. In due time, Otabek presented the whole spectrum of emotions and reactions, starting from warm smiles when they looked each other in the eye, and impatient purrs when they kissed, and ending with distinct blush when he was naked and appropriated by Yuri's greedy hands and mouth, and charming moans when he came.

Yuri was certain that never before had he been so happy as the moment he realised he, of all people, could make Otabek act that way... could give Otabek such pleasure. It was as if his greatest wish had come true. In the morning, just a few hours ago, he would have never thought that Otabek might give him one kiss, to say nothing of going to bed with him - in other words, he hadn't considered Otabek as someone capable of having sex with another man. Yet now Otabek was lying in the rumpled bed sheets, panting after the orgasm induced by none other than Yuri Plisetsky, beyond all doubt a man.

Soon enough, Otabek opened his eyes and looked at him, a smile lightening his flushed face. From that gaze, Yuri could tell he was content, satisfied and fulfilled, and he finally discard the fear that all that was only about his own desire and pleasure. He didn't manage to think any more, for Otabek sat up and reached for his face, diving into another kiss... and then took care of him just like Yuri always - for last two weeks - had imagined him to. In a flash of inspiration, Yuri realised that regardless of that new turn in their relationship Otabek was still his friend, and it meant mutuality in all they did. It didn't took long before he came himself under Otabek's willing and creative hands.

For two guys without any experience with their own sex, he thought they had managed extremely well. Maybe it was exactly because it was their first time... or maybe what mattered was the urge to make the other one happy and pleased. Imagination was enough, and neither of them lacked it.

After everything, Yuri was glad he'd finally managed to break himself free from that hysteria he'd been in for the last two weeks. Thanks to Otabek and with Otabek he was back to being a man, and he planned to stay this way. It didn't stop him from feeling shamelessly good when lying in Otabek's arms and wanting to never leave. And maybe he did happen to burst into tears at some point when he could no longer contain that feeling of happiness, raging inside him like a hurricane and leaving no part unaffected.

"I acted terribly," he murmured with his cheek on Otabek's chest. "Like a total brat... Like an infatuated schoolgirl. I bet it was hard to look. That blushing, averting eyes and other disgusting things... To say nothing of constant running away..."

"It wasn't that bad," Otabek replied with his nose in Yuri's hair. "In a way, you were really cute," he added with a smile, and Yuri suppressed a snort. Then, however, Otabek said in a more serious voice, "It must have been hard for you."

"I'm sorry," Yuri replied automatically.

"What?" Otabek raised his head to look at him. "I think you've skipped some three lines here...?"

Yuri smiled. True. "I thought: Otabek noticed. He worried about me. I have to apologise," he described his thought process from a second ago.

He still felt relieved by the knowledge he no longer needed to hide anything from his best friend. He could again speak what he thought and didn't need to worry he might destroy something... And maybe that was why the next moment he said, "You don't regret?"

"I said-"

"I know what you said. But it was that time, earlier... before we did this."

"I suppose you won't be happy with the answer that I don't use to regret my actions?"

Yuri said nothing.

"No, I don't regret," Otabek assured him. "It was... good. And I liked it. Thank you."

"Then... you think it won't ruin anything between us?"

"Ruin? I'd say it will rather enrich... our friendship."

"How come you can say such things?" Yuri muttered, red as a beetroot.

"Maybe because I want be that 'older and wiser' who is always right, for once," Otabek replied with a shameless lack of self-criticism, but irony was to be heard in his words anyway.

Yuri suppressed his smile.

"In any case, instead of thinking that much you should have told me," Otabek added.

Yuri turned his head up and looked at him, frowning. "That was extremely stupid, Mr. Older-and-Wiser," he said before lying down again. "Besides... I understood that you'd needed some time to... think it over," he went on, his voice lower now, for he still felt bemused by the result of that 'thinking'. "I had to keep it a secret and..."

He paused, suddenly remembering his theme for the next season, and wondered what to do with it. He really liked the idea and didn't feel like giving it up, especially when Lilia had created such a splendid choreography for him. He still wanted everyone to rack their brains over his secret, but...

"Otabek...?"

"Mhm?"

"Would you... like to do it... again?" he asked, still blushing.

"Now?"

Yuri snorted with laughter. "No! In general... in the future. Later," he qualified, still laughing.

"Yes," Otabek answered concisely.

"Then, uhm, we'll be... like..." Here was where Yuri's confidence ended, especially that he was under the impression he was doing it in the wrong order.

"Boyfriends? Partners?" Otabek offered, and Yuri felt almost angry with the calmness in his voice again.

"Mhm," he muttered in reply.

"Would you like us to?"

Yuri gulped. "I would," he whispered, "but..."

"Not in public?" Otabek guessed again.

"That sounds terrible."

"What? You and me in public?" Otabek asked, amused.

"No! It sounds terrible that I don't want in public..."

"I'd say it's pretty normal."

Yuri rolled on his belly, resting his arms on Otabek's chest, and looked him in the eye.

"I could walk, holding hands with you. I could kiss you in front of everyone. I could even skate with you at a fucking exhibition," he said firmly, although his face was burning. "Otabek Altin, I could have a perfectly normal... romance with you. Don't you ever think I might have anything against it. Don't you ever doubt I could tell the whole world we are together," he added in a warning tone, although he wasn't sure where that courage came from.

"Then, what's the problem?"

"I just want it to stay between us. For some time, at least. Let it be our... secret. Our own thing," he said, but as he spoke he realised he was a dishonest and selfish git. "No, sorry, it wasn't fair..."

Otabek calmly looked at him with his dark eyes that could always see through him. "Just tell me what it is about," he suggested gently.

So Yuri told him. About his theme for the next season. About his wish to surprise everyone. About the perverse flirt with the skating world he wanted to have. Otabek heard him out and finally stated he saw no problem. In the end, they decided they wouldn't inform anyone about the change that happened in their relationship and would leave all direct questions without any comment. They also agreed that they would try to behave in public like before; it shouldn't be that hard, since they'd always spent a lot of time together, with their relation being accentuated with explicit affection. They suspected that sooner or later people would start realise the truth anyway - but as long as neither of them confirmed it, it would be just a conjecture, which was fine for Yuri.

Aloud, he apologised for his selfishness that made him adjust his private life to his sports career. Inside, he knew he'd rather be considered an egoist than admit his fears. The truth was he was scared it would end soon. He needed time to believe it wouldn't be just a short episode that would leave him heartbroken. If it lasted as long as the next season, then maybe he would have more courage. And it could also be that in the meantime the secret would tire him as much that he would decide to reveal it.

Otabek probably realised it anyway. After a while, when they felt like doing it again, made each other come and then lay satisfied in an embrace, Otabek repeated, "You should have told me. We lost two weeks..."

Yuri smiled, hearing contentment in his voice that once more told him Otabek had really liked it.

Then, however, Otabek added in a soft voice, but happily, "But, well, it's just two weeks... and we have the whole life..."

Yuri got up abruptly - only to fall down on him and kiss him passionately. He was completely defenceless before such declarations... but, he decided with some timid hope, they undoubtedly provided a good basis... for at least next ten years.

It required several months - they had been living together for a while and had performed as a pair in the world championships exhibition, making their relationship an official thing - for Yuri to be able to say 'I love you'. Sex was an incomparably easier thing that love, and only sharing his daily life with Otabek helped him to confess his feelings. Not that it didn't happen amongst blushing, averting his eyes and whispers. Actually, he realised he'd always done things in the wrong order.

Otabek simply answered, "I know."

And Yuri understood that he'd loved Otabek for much, much longer he'd thought - probably from the very start of their friendship. Of course, that time his love hadn't been romantic, to say nothing of erotic, yet there had been definitely something akin to love in his great admiration for Otabek, in that terrible happiness resulting from sharing time with him, as well as in that desire to spent his life with him. It could be that turning eighteen had awakened that part of him that had remained dormant until then - or simply had bloomed, for the right time had come - which had forced him to gave their relation a new view.

He told Otabek about it, and Otabek agreed it could be the case. Then he leaned to his ear and added, "It was the same with me."

And Yuri accepted it as one of the most essential truths of the universe... leaving it for another day and greater dose of courage to say that Otabek was his very universe. Still, he believed with all himself that day would come. Breathing perfect happiness contributed to that faith.