20 July 2015
IT;S BEEN A WEEK
And I still have no idea what to write. It's the time of the no-motivation-or-inspiration. Happens often.
23. Growth
of fungi in an extraordinary place.
"So, a while back," Kirby began, playing with his tweezers, "Bob got lonely."
Bandana Dee really did enjoy visiting Kirby (that statement is completely questionable), but it did get long sometimes, so he started packing food along with him. It didn't take long for Kirby to invent a new way of torturing Bandana Dee and began to scarf down half of it, though. Kirby was really into his presentation that day, so Bandana Dee could eat his sandwich in peace.
Yes, Bandana Dee wasn't listening to Kirby at all.
"'Cause Larry left!" Kirby exclaimed, gesturing to a torn and tattered poster of another plastic plant on his wall. "And, recently, I've been away from the house and Bob's gotten lonely as a result. So I decided Bob needed a new friend."
"Well, that's swell," Bandana Dee mumbled. He wasn't disinterested, since every time he visited Kirby had something odd to present one way or another, but everything Kirby did was weird and it was not advised to encourage him.
The pink puffball frowned, swinging his legs, which wasn't a very good idea considering the chair was creaking. Everything in Kirby's house was somehow dangerous. It was the Touch of Kirby.
"I hope that was sarcastic, Band-Aid, 'cause if it wasn't, I'll tape you to the wall and you can talk to Bob. That way he'll have two new friends."
"Oh. Uh. No, thank you. I was being sarcastic. Completely sarcastic, you know."
Whether Kirby bought it or not was a stupid question—he obviously didn't. Kirby being Kirby didn't say anything about it, but approached his lamps with his tweezers. Bandana Dee watched while the pink puffball did.
"So I got this brilliant plan that my lamp was lonely, too, so I decided to grow the new friend on the lamp." Kirby prodded at the lamp, and Bandana Dee caught a glimpse of bright red, but nothing else. "At first, logic would say that this action is completely impossible—I mean, it's a lamp. But then again, this is Dream Land where potatoes can fly and carnivorous plants dabble in vegetarian delights, so—"
"Those have never happened," Bandana Dee interjects. Kirby throws him an annoyed look. "Dream Land is where strange things occur but potatoes cannot fly and I don't think carnivorous plants dabble in vegetarian delights if you're so scared of them."
"I know that, but shush. I actually sounded smart for a minute, you know!" Bandana Dee rolled his eyes, but said nothing. "So I grew a toadstool on my lamp! I'm pretty amazing, right? At first it's impossible, but these are Dream Land toadstools. They don't need the dark to grow. I just sprayed some water here and there every day and it just appeared two days ago! It's small right now, but it'll grow. Probably."
"I am—" There were times Bandana Dee wasn't very sure of himself around Kirby, but when the pink puffball went on about those sort of things, he had little tolerance. "That's impossible."
"'Impossible' spells 'I'm possible'. It's a popular inspirational quote. Learn it." Kirby jabbed at the toadstool flippantly, before turning away and striding over to the sink and threw the tweezers in, landing with a CLANG. Bandana Dee flinched a little. "I invested a lot of points in my special stat!"
Bandana Dee had one more look at the toadstool while Kirby flipped open a book about who-knows-what. The waddle dee wasn't really good with fungi, but it looked healthy, at least. Kirby might have more than a few screws loose but he did know how to grow crops.
"...That's not even what 'special stat' in games mean. Oh my gosh. I don't even care about that breaking thing anymore."
"Glad to know!" Kirby whistled. "Say, why do you use 'gosh', anyway?"
"You do too."
"That's 'cause I'm vulgar."
Huffing, Bandana Dee rolled his eyes again. "It's too offensive to say 'God', you know, so it's 'gosh' instead. Don't you know that?"
"Yeah, I do! I use 'gosh' because it sounds nicer, though your logic doesn't make sense." Bandana Dee cast him a quizzical glance. "Like... 'gosh' is just another euphemism for 'God'."
"What."
"Yeah, 'golly' too. 'Jeez' is an euphemism for 'Jesus'. Dunno if we have any religions like that in here, but outside sure does."
"Oh my gos—goodness!"
Then Bandana Dee ran out of the house faster than Usain Bolt, presumably to Kirby's garden hose.