Chap. 6

Down the Dark Will Fall

Sweet Pea thought her father was happy on the days that Davey came to work, or when he called on her. A few times, she even heard her father laughing. A comrade-at-arms, even a part-time farm hand, is good for morale.

The Harvest Dance at the Grange Hall was probably the most important social event in Jackson's Leap. It was after all, a small agricultural community firmly rooted in tradition. And when her mother heard that Davey had asked Sweet Pea to go to the dance, the old woman seemingly became a teenager again. It was as if Rocket had almost returned; Sweet Pea could see some of her sister's traits appear in her mother. It was more than that.

"Where's the Sears catalog?" her mother said, in a voice that sounded like Rocket. "We have to get you a pretty new dress and new shoes!"

That did it. Sweet Pea had never liked high-heeled shoes, and she was suddenly with Blue again.

She had been a captive for only a few weeks. She was standing naked with Blue, a client was waiting.

"He's a big shot," Blue said as he was tossing aside some of the costumes from Dr Gorski's acting therapy. "Wear this."

It was a nineteenth-century dance hall outfit.

"He'll like that. And these shoes," Blue ordered. "He has this thing for shoes."

Suddenly Blue grabbed her roughly and kissed her.

"And Sweet Pea," he said, "make him happy. I promised him that you would satisfy him. Don't let me down."

But the shoes hurt her feet, and Sweet Pea took them off...

Blue was furious when he found out. Sweet Pea could see murder in his eyes.

"You worthless whore," He spit at her. "I said wear the shoes, and you take them off! I told you he had a fetish for shoes, and you take them off! You worthless whore!"

Sweet Pea opened her mouth to explain.

"Shut up!" Blue shouted. "You'll pay for this, girl. You'll pay."

The next night, C. J. and another orderly took her from her bed, after gagging her with a dirty rag and a belt. They took her to the basement of an abandoned building on the Asylum grounds - a setting right out of a nineteenth-century Gothic romance - wrapped her wrists in terry clothe towels, and tied her securely to a ring sunk in the stone wall. Roughly they stripped her naked. For along time she was alone in the cold blackness. Then a blinding light lit her up. There was a long pause, and then Blue appeared. He came close to her and whispered:

"I'm going to kill you now. I can't cut her throat or beat you to death - the devil knows you deserve it for disobeying me - but I can't leave marks. Marks mean questions."

He held a roll of duct tape in her face.

"There are other ways, though," he said as he slowly peeled off some tape. And laughing, he sealed up Sweet Pea's nose.

Instantly, Sweet Pea was struggling frantically. She heard clearly C.J. and the other orderly laughing in the dark too. Blue was watching her suffocate. Her struggles slowed. But when she thought her lungs and head would exploded, she thrashed violently around one last time. She was going to die. She knew it. She collapsed. Still Blue watched her. Before it was too late, he grabbed her by the hair, jerked her head up and peeled off the tape. She gasped for air violently.

"Never disobey me! Never!"

Blue took off her gag.

"Say it," he demanded.

Sweet Pea still could not breathe. She was barely conscious.

"Say it!"

"I... will... never... disobey... you."

"Good girl."

Still, she struggled for air.

"Never forget," Blue said, "You breathe because I let you breathe. If you disobey me, or displease one of my clients: you don't breathe!"

Now with her mother looking at the shoes in the catalog, Sweet Pea began to hyperventilate. Her mother knew nothing of that monster Blue and the way he tortured her over those high heels.

"Oh, my God! Sweet Pea!"

Her mother raced to a drawer and pulled out a paper bag. She held it to her daughter's mouth.

"What's wrong? What's wrong?"

Something was wrong. Even the rooster knew it. He did not greet the first light of dawn with his usual call. He was ominously silent.

"Oh, my God! Sweet Pea!"

She heard her mother's voice, as if in a dream.

Sweet Pea went down stairs. Her mother was not in the kitchen. Looking out the backdoor, Sweet Pea saw her mother staggering in the gray half-light of dawn from the barn, like a zombie in one of those stupid horror movies. She ran past the old woman and into the barn.

Her father was hanging by his neck. Dead.

She knew he was dead.

As if she were the star of some Dada play that made no sense, Sweet Pea studied the hideous tableau. She did not know what had made this morning different than all the other 22,293 mornings in her father's life; she would never know. Some questions have no answers; like the digits of pi, they are asked to infinity. Circles. Endless circles. Perhaps, like prayers, the answers are the dreams of the countless people who toil as her father toiled. Soon the farm would be only the vacant crumbling stone foundations and a few yellow daffodils struggling forth in springtime amidst the dead weeds. Remains of anonymous prayers.

Suddenly, the smells of the barn nauseated her. The sweet/sour odor of the silage made her dizzy. The smell of the manure was overpowering. She staggered back a few paces, thought she would fall, but managed to lean against the door frame. The cool morning air made her feel inconsiderably better. Then the thought that she should call the sheriff gave her purpose, however useless it was. Upon reaching the backdoor of the house, she felt strangely high. Her energy seemed unexpectedly boundless, and she headed for the telephone, passing her mother who was now seated in Rocket's chair, gently rocking back and forth like water at the shore.

Sweet Pea spoke to Sheriff Wilson when he arrived, spoke to him as if it were any ordinary day, spoke to him as if talking about the weather. When he was convinced that there was no foul play, the Sheriff summoned Mr Hayes the undertaker. Again, Sweet Pea spoke to him as if nothing remarkable had occurred. She thanked him for coming so quickly, as if he had simply given her the time of day. Dada. Then the three men, the Sheriff, the undertaker, and the undertaker's assistant cut her father down. Sweet Pea watched the grim task, and only after Hayes had cover her father with a sheet did she weep. As Hayes and his helper wheeled the gurney out of the barn, Sweet Pea started to follow; but her knees would not work. Wilson caught her before she fell, and he carried her to the kitchen. Dada. Although she would have hit the dirty floor of the barn, Sweet Pea did not like being swept up by the strong arms of the Sheriff. Her emotions revolted at his power over her, however well intended his assistance was. Her tears ceased, and she was glad when he set her into a chair near her mother. Davey came to milk the cows after the Sheriff called him with the news, and Sweet Pea made breakfast for her mother, who did not eat.

Davey came in after his work was done. Dada. He tried to be affectionate and comforting, but Sweet Pea did not want to be touched. She could not be touched. If he had touched her, she would have screamed. He went away hurt.

Doctor Page signed the death certificate later that day; and on the following day, Mr Hayes returned. He spoke to Sweet Pea and her mother; the arrangements were settled. The old woman was very quiet - a silence that Sweet Pea had never known. And when she did speak, her voice was small and unreal. She was already a ghost.

[contd]