A/N-On the episode, 'Seams of a Marriage', we were introduced to some very wacky characters named Shelby and Sissy Tate. The last we saw of these two they were shooting various items in their living room with the girls running off for their lives.
I'm going to try something different with these characters. Where did Shelby and Sissy get their craziness? One time they had taken Julia to New Orleans for a lobster dinner so if ya'll have read my profile page, I just couldn't pass up a chance to tie New Orleans in this.
Please do not be offended by anything in this chapter, I wrote it in here for story purposes.
The year is 1860-New Orleans, Louisiana.
A young man who looks very much like a younger version of Shelby Tate comes out with anger in his eyes on the edge of his land in New Orleans.
On the other side is a cute as a button young woman with golden yellow hair in a pretty little bun and a black woman a few years older than her standing with her
And they look at the man coming and he says.
"This is Tate land! Ya'll get off! Do ya'll hear?"
Angrily the girl stamps her foot and says,
"I will not! This is my land! My father is off in the war and I'm here to protect it! And protect it I will!"
The man stomps closer and closer and the young lady nods her head and several black men come out with guns pointing to the young man and he stomps and says,
"My name is Shelby Tate and I say this is our land! You cut off our water supply! You had no right!"
She tells him,
"Oh, pish-posh! I did no such thing! "
He yells back,
"Then how is it that our water was running fine a few hours ago and now there is nothing but a thin , bare string of water?"
She shrugs her shoulders and says,
"Maybe you have one of those silly old voodoo curses on you. I have to go back home, it is almost time for to get ready to go the ball. And if I were you, I wouldn't move a little old foot or my men will blast it off for you"
He simmers in anger while she gets back in her wagon and the wagon drives away.
{
The pretty female slave asks her mistress,
"Miss Ashley, do we un know what caused the wa'ter to go off at master Tate's?"
Ashley shrugs her shoulders in a small roll then says,
"No, I don't Marquette but it wasn't us! I'll swear to that on a stack of Bibles!"
Marquette then says,
"I hoping there won't be no trouble from that there Mister Tate. He looks like he don't take bad new easy" "Oh, pish posh Marquette, you worry too much. But I bet he won't listen to the warnings of a little old' southern lady so I'll just have to do something I'm afraid"
The black woman looks at her with her eyes wide in fear then asks her,
"Be careful ma'am, don't be bringing no harm to yourself"
She just smiles and says,
"It won't be anything bad Marquette, now, let's get ready for this ball, it just might be the last with this war lingering on"
Marquette goes to get her dressed while Ashley consider what to do.
{
Much later that same night, Ashley tiptoes into Shelby's porch and looks around then slowly and carefully opens the French doors to his room, looks around and sees his pants hanging over a chair and Shelby sleeping in the bed, not far away and she pulls out a small bag from the pocket of her dress and she opens the bag and picks up his trousers and opens them and then turns the bag over his pants and empties the contents in.
She snickers quietly then puts the pants down and walks back out the way she came in.
{
A few days later, Shelby comes roaring on Ashley's estate while Ashley sits on the porch sipping tea and Shelby gets off his horse and comes stomping up to her and he says,
"You did it! You vixen!"
With wide eyes to make her appear more innocent she says,
"What ever are you talking about Mister Tate?""
He looks around and says through gritted teeth,
"You came and put those lady bath powders in my trousers! I was itching for days! You knew I was allergic!"
She says,
"I did not! I would no such thing! I am a lady mister Tate"
He throws back his head and says,
"Ha! I say to that! You just stay away from my land!"
She takes a sip of her tea then says,
"Did you ever get water back on your land Mister Tate?"
He gets back on his horse then says,
"Yes, you just remember to stay off Tate land"
She makes a clicking sound with her tongue as he rides off.
[
Later that night, Shelby sneaks into Ashley's room with a pair of scissors and very carefully tiptoes as quiet as he can be to her bed. He picks up a heavy portion of her hair and SNIPS! He leaves with the hair in hand and silently congratulating himself.
{
The next morning, Ashley rides up to his house sidesaddle and he comes out and says,
"I thought I told you to never come on this land Miss!"
She looks at him and huffs then says,
"I am here to redeem my honor! You cut my hair last night and left me in ruins!"
She turns and shows him her shorn hair and he tries to keep himself from busting and he says,
"What makes you think I did that? Surly, you must have enemies other than I !"
Enraged, she screams back,
"No one would dare have the nerve you did! You sir, are no gentleman! I shall repay you for this!"
He laughs then says,
"As I said, it was not me dear lady, so how can you repay me when I did not do this?"
She stomps her feet then says,
"I know you did!"
She gets back up on her horse then rides away and a black man comes up to Shelby and says,
"I'd be careful Master Tate, I don't think you should be fooling around with that one. She has the temper of a mean 'gator!"
Shelby laughs then says,
"Don't worry Jonathon, don't you worry"
Jonathon leaves off with Shelby still laughing.
{
What do you think happens? Ashley sneaks in to Shelby's barn and pours honey all over the saddle she saw him riding in the other day.
And the beat goes on—
Endless irritating pranks come back and forth from the both until one day….
Ashley is walking over her land enjoying the day when Shelby comes running to her and apparently not in a very good mood.
She looks at him and she casually asks,
"Why, what ever is the problem Mister Tate?"
He points a finger at her and says,
"You know very well the problem! You, you have somehow got all my hens to quit laying! Replaced them with those old things that should go to a chicken mill someplace!"
She turns to walk away and this time he runs over to her and grabs her and turns her around and she looks at him in horror then says,
"How dare you touch me!"
He yells back,
"I dare plenty!"
She screams,
"My men will shoot you!" "Then where are they?" He asks her,
She sees a big mud puddle directly behind him and she pushes him down in it and she tries to run away but he gets up quickly and grabs her and swings her in the mud puddle and she screams and throws mud at him.
The slaves of both of them gather on top of the ridges and watch in amazement.
Shelby reaches down and gets mud to throw at her so she gets up and goes and pulls him back into the mud, she slips and falls back in and they continue fighting then suddenly they stop and slowly kiss.
One of the male slaves says,
"And they call us crazy"
Ashley and Shelby just start laughing with each other.