HEART WORLD

~ Michi ~

"Michi! Are you okay?" Musca was gripping my shoulders, digging in with her small fingers.

"Yeah…"

"Shin left just a few seconds ago. You were stuck in your memories for almost five minutes."

"Oh crap…" I had to catch up to him, explain myself because I just knew now what I wanted to say. I jumped to my feet but fell back down with a gasp. The room was spinning, even my sight wavering in and out of focus.

"Michi, getting your memories back takes a toll on you. Maybe you should just wait and talk to him later. Rest now."

"No way! This is too important ." I made my way to the door swaying and unable to walk in a straight line.

"Michi please, I'm worried about you." Musca took my arm gently.

"I'll be fine. I need to do this, right? No worries." I burst outside and grabbed onto the railing for support, taking the stairs one by one. Shin hadn't made it far, only halfway down. "Shin! Shinshinshin! Wait up!"

He turned around and sighed at me. "What?"

"I, I just… I have to say…" I stopped moving to see if things would steady out a bit. Everything was getting topsy-turvy, and it was freaking me out.

"Are you okay?" He took one step back towards me, wavering in the face of my current state.

I felt everything going dark and grasped at something to say as warning. "Hey… Catch me, please."

"Michi!" Musca yelled, grabbing for my sleeve but missing as it slipped through her fingers.

"Ugh…" I woke up feeling groggy.

"Oh, you're awake." Shin looked down at me.

"Hwah!" I sat up, bumping heads sharply with him.

"Hey! Geez, calm down." He rubbed at his forehead, giving me a miffed look.

"W-why are you here?"

"Like I could just leave you alone after that."

"Right, right…" I glanced up at Musca.

"He didn't sleep, just kept watch over you all night." She blushed. "He stroked your hair…"

"That creep!" I gasped.

Shin stared at me. "What?"

"Uh… Nothing… I'm still out of it. But thanks… For watching over me."

"Yeah."

"Um… What I was going to say last night… About you asking me why…"

"You don't have to say anything. I'm really fine with leaving things as they are."

"But I need to say this! I want to."

He blinked, taken aback. "… Go on, then."

"I –"

"Michi, I don't mean to interrupt, but it's noon now," Musca was peeking out the window. "Sawa is here!"

"What?!" I hopped up. "Oh man…"

"What is it? You're acting strange." Shin frowned.

"I had plans with Sawa today, oh man…" I took a breath and assessed the situation. "But talking with you is more important. Let me just apologize to her and try to reschedule…"

"No, it's fine. We can talk another time. I shouldn't even be here. You should probably get cleaned up, too."

"Oh. Right." We stood there looking at each other for a minute.

"Just go. I'll get the door. Hurry up, already…"

"O-okay." Musca followed me into the bathroom after I grabbed some clothes.

"You need to be careful, Michi."

"Why?" I whispered.

"You keep talking aloud to me. Shin is going to start suspecting something is wrong with you. In fact, he already seems a bit concerned."

"You're right… I'll try to be more careful."

"Good." She paused. "He was really worried, you know. I think he cares more than he lets on."

I shrugged. If my memories were any indication… I just didn't know what to think now. When I was done getting ready I found Sawa and Shin standing in silence. "Hey, Sawa… Sorry, I just woke up. It's my bad."

"Oh, no problem…" She cast an uncomfortable glance at Shin. "Are you ready to go?"

"Yeah." I turned to Shin and grabbed onto both of his hands tightly to make sure I had his attention. "I want to talk to you again. When are you available?"

He averted his eyes. "Whenever…"

I sighed. So helpful. "Tonight, then?"

"I guess so."

"Then we'll meet in the park at seven, at the front. Good?"

"… Fine." He pulled his hands away. "I'm leaving now."

"Well… I'll see you later then." I sighed at his back as he rushed out. "Come on, Sawa." It'd be nice to just relax and hang out with her.

She followed me out, looking like she was about to explode. "What was that? Why was he in your house? I nearly screamed when he opened the door glaring at me!"

I waited until Shin was out of view to respond. "It's complicated. I got sick yesterday and fainted, so he stayed to watch over me."

"Are you okay now? We can take it easy if you need to."

"No, it's fine. Look, you don't need to worry about Shin. We were just talking about… things. What happened, you know."

"Yeah… Well then, let's keep your mind off it today! What do you want to do?"

"Well… Uh… Nope, I've got nothing. You pick."

"There's a fireworks festival later this month, and the manager, Mine and I are trying to make it an employee get-together. Do you want to go look at kimonos?"

"Sure, that sounds fun."

"Yeah! If it works out we could meet up early with Mine and all do each other's hair... I could use the help." She laughed.

"Huh…" I was so used to wearing my hair the same way I couldn't imagine it any different.

"This'll be great! Come on!" Sawa grabbed my arm and rushed off. There was a selection of kimonos at one building in a strip of shops, and Sawa hummed as she rummaged through them. "Oh, this is cute!" She had picked a green one, her signature color.

"Er… Do things like this really suit me?"

"All girls deserve to feel especially beautiful. Come on, take the opportunity to get dressed up."

"She's right!" Musca chirped. "Oh, the red one! It'll look so pretty with your auburn hair! Yay! I've always wanted to know more about human festivals."

I smiled at her. It was easy to forget that she was basically a child. "You're right." I felt my face getting red too. At each garment I saw, I just kept wondering what a certain someone would think of it, and then I got so flustered at myself I just couldn't choose. "Help me, Sawa! Just pick one you think will look good, please…"

"Haha, you're worse at being girly than I am! That must be why we get along. Want to get pizza after this?" She honed in on the red kimono, same as Musca had.

"Sure." Ohh, with pineapples on it… Delicious.

After we had made our purchases Sawa turned to me with a more serious look. "Michi, I have to ask… What are you doing with Shin?"

"Oh. Well… I'm trying to move on, you know. I thought talking to him would help the both of us."

"He's had it rough since it happened…"

"How so?" I perked up, eager to know how he had been doing during my period of closing myself off.

"People treat him and his father like pariahs. But it's hard not to be a bit uncomfortable, you know?"

"Why? Shin didn't do anything. I mean, it's not like there's killer blood running through his veins, it was just his dad defending…" I trailed off, biting my lip as it started wobbling. As I had spoken, more facts had emerged in my memory about what kind of person my father had been in this world.

"Michi? Are you alright?"

"My dad was a good person, okay? He, he just… He never should have been in the bar that night. God, Sawa, I should have stopped him, I knew he was an angry drunk, but I… I just didn't. I told him to let off some steam, I… It's all my fault…"

"It's okay Michi, don't cry." She pulled me into a hug. "There's no way you could have known. Don't cry, don't cry…"

I felt Musca's arms around me too, from behind. "I'm sorry this world and these memories is so hard, Michi… But at least you aren't alone."

She was right. I wasn't alone in this new life I'd been given. But Shin was being faced with loneliness and judgement, and it was up to me to do something. I would succeed in this world, no matter what.