7 June 2016
I was originally going to cut this chapter in half, seeing as how it's 1.3k words—then I remembered it's been a month since the last update so. So no cutting in half. I'm A Nice Person. (TM)
Kirby's a very good friend, in my opinion. How many friends plan a picnic all by themselves and bring all the food and let you eat it? About none. You only find those types of friends in stories.
Meanwhile, I'm the type of friend who doodles all over my deskmate's notes if she's absent. I'm A Nice Person. (TM)
39. Bread Juice
of threats that are actually nonexistent.
If there's one thing everyone's learnt from reading this, it's that Kirby was completely unpredictable. So were his picnic-location decisions. By the volcano? Done that already. Up the snowy mountains? Oh, that's my favourite! On some sand dune? That's so yesterday.
It's also what Bandana Dee had picked up. Bandana Dee had picked up a lot of things about Kirby. He was a good child who was attentive to his friends' needs.
So when Kirby brought them to a very reasonable spot under a tree, by a lake, in Cookie Country, Bandana Dee believed his reaction was justified.
"Wait, here?" Kirby nodded, puffing up his chest and looking all proud. Bandana Dee gave a blank-faced expression—as blank faced as a waddle dee could look, at least—and surveyed the surroundings. Calm lake, nice tree, nice spot. Where was the lie? "Really? Here? That's all? No secrets?"
"Bandana Dee, you're such a worrywart," huffed Kirby, looking mildly offended. The picnic basket dropped from his hands and landed onto the red-and-white checkered mat laid on the grass. Bandana Dee's eyes drifted over to it—maybe the picnic basket was the lie. Maybe! "You're always thinking of impossible things! First it was sharks eating Kirby in the ocean. Then it was not being able to retaliate against a lovely talking flower because of your lack of involvement in the bullying arts. And now—now it's the danger of pretty places? I could write a book about that! In fact, I will write a book about that!"
That… That made sense. As in—As in the bit about the danger of pretty places. It made sense. Kirby made sense.
"Are you okay?" Bandana Dee quizzed, oozing with concern. "Do you have a fever? Should I bring you to the doctor? I can bring you to the one in the castle, since Great King hasn't been minding your presence—"
After listening to their conversation up until that point, Meta Knight finally decided to contribute. "What is so unnatural about this place? It is a typical picnicking spot."
Bandana Dee cast Meta Knight a scandalized look.
Already sitting on the mat, flipping open the flaps of the basket, the pink puffball was tossing out transparent, plastic containers holding food. Bandana Dee wasn't even sure how it was possible, but even with the nonchalant way they were being thrown, the plastic containers landed upright. Unscathed. Like a cat jumping from a tall height. Some sort of talent.
When Bandana Dee sat down, Kirby was halfway done with stuffing a strawberry shortcake into his mouth. White whipped cream was in messy streaks across his mouth. Blinking, his blue gaze flickered at Bandana Dee. And then behind Bandana Dee—where Meta Knight was. Then back to Bandana Dee.
"I thought you guys would be more panicked! Are you scared of picnics? Picnic panics!"
"I am not scared of picnics," Meta Knight vehemently protested. Bandana Dee knew the situation was beyond salvation, so he just dug out a sandwich because he was a boring dee. Because sandwiches are boring.
"Maybe it's because you haven't started eating yet!"
"Try me."
A truffle fry went hurtling towards Meta Knight's face—well, mask.
Cursing as he flinched, Meta Knight grabbed it before it hit the unhygienic picnic mat. Lifting it to eye level, it was inspected like an alien fry from alien space. "What is this oily—"
"You've never seen a truffle fry before!" Kirby sounded horrified. The type of horror when you've been doing a project on a computer and it doesn't auto-save and the computer—well—crashes. Yes—that kind of horror. "Bless you. Even Bandana Dee's better than that."
Bandana Dee masked his offence by cramming half the sandwich into his mouth—an impossible feat.
Of course, before Meta Knight can even digest the first sentence out of Kirby's mouth, the pink puffball was already cannon-balling out the next few lines. "So, you're wondering, 'why a truffle fry'? Well, that has a very simple answer! Although I know you can't get it, Meta Knight, since you don't get things. Well, actually, you get a lot of things—but not jokes! Never jokes. But this one has a simple answer, so if you don't understand it, I'm disappointed! So you said 'try me', and the word 'try' is made out of the first letter of—! Of? Guess what of! ...Truffle! T from truffle. The next one should be easy because I've already answered part A for you. If the 'T' from 'try' comes from truffle, what about the 'R' and 'Y'? That's—it comes from 'fry', Meta Knight! The last two letters! How can you not get that? I gave you so much time to think!"
Meta Knight opened his mouth to reply. Then closed it. Opened it again. Close. Open. Close. Then finally stayed on close. Twisting his gaze to Bandana Dee, a golden eye visibly twitched. Bandana Dee could only nod understandingly and shake his head right after, as in: no, I can't help you.
For some dangerous reason or other, Kirby had completely stopped gorging on his cake—or what was left of his cake. Which was the strawberry. (Kirby was the kind to pluck it off the cake and eat it for the last. Bandana Dee knew that. He was a good child who was attentive to his friends' needs.) The very dangerous bit came from the fact that Kirby was staring at Meta Knight's face—mask—like a mystery.
Maybe it was because Kirby was wondering what Meta Knight looked like without the mask? Bandana Dee sure didn't know what he looked like. Had Kirby seen it before? Or—Or was his face… or was the mask actually his face? What if it had been that way the whole time and it wasn't a mask? What if—
"Right! I forgot!" Kirby squealed, then attacked his picnic basket. Dropping his half-eaten sandwich onto the picnic mat, Bandana Dee jumped up in alarm. "I brought Meta Knight something! I brought Meta Knight homemade bread juice!"
What.
Kirby held up the black thermos like a prize. Meta Knight's expression was unreadable.
"Here! Go on, try it. I put bread in the blender along with some milk and—"
"I'm leaving." Meta Knight got up and spun around. Bandana Dee had never seen someone do it so quickly.
"Nope, you're not!" Kirby crowed after him. Waggling the thermos hauntingly like a threat, he added, "Either you drink it, or you agree to term me your friend. Or ally, or whatever, or anything that makes knights feel cool and honourable and all that. So?"
He got a sideways glare. "And what if I choose neither?"
"Then, I'll dismantle the Halberd." That put an obvious freeze in Meta Knight's rejection. Kirby was savage. (Bandana Dee already knew that, though.) "You know I can, right? And I can take those robust, vital parts of the Halberd that never break along with me, so you won't be able to rebuild it. And you can't find those materials in Pop Star, right?"
Silence. "...Fine. I agree."
"To? To what? Both? That's awfully generous!"
"The second one!" Meta Knight shot back heatedly, and then stormed off in a hurry.
Sitting back down, Bandana Dee picked up his sandwich and took a bite out of it. Hygiene was the least of his concerns. "That… That was morally questionable."
Kirby shrugged, sitting back down and looking content. "I don't usually do it, but Meta Knight's a big tsundere, so he needs a lot of prodding to admit he has a friend." (Or ally, or whatever, or anything that makes knights feel cool and honourable and all that.) "Now! Want some?" Kirby pushed the thermos to Bandana Dee.
"Bread juice? No, thank you—"
"It's not bread juice, silly. It's just water. Meta Knight doesn't ever confirm facts when he's threatened." Kirby twisted the cap off in a swift motion, revealing the transparent, very water-like liquid inside. "See?"
Bandana Dee felt particularly relieved—then threatened again.
How many times had Kirby pulled this sort of thing on Bandana Dee?