Fight Back Your Fear

As mentioned in the last chapter, Sicily's worst enemy was her fear. Only question is, her fear of what? What could Sicily possibly be afraid of? Well... there are common, little fears like being afraid of thunder or heights. Then, there are childhood fears, like when you were little and thought there was a monster in your room. And finally, you have those fears that stick with you your whole life. These are the ones that get to you. And this is where Rosaria's greatest fears lie.

Sicily ran straight across the area. Her feet slammed against the dirt. The dust around her clouded up and settled in her hair, clothes, and on her skin. Basically, it was anywhere that it could attach itself to. The sound of distant explosions were ringing in her ears. Sicily look on ahead, catching Germany and Japan not far from her. She picked up her pace. Sicily slid to a stop right beside the German, falling on the ground in the process.

"How long was that?" she asked. Germany stopped the watch he had in his hand.

"Four minutes, twelve seconds," he answered as Sicily stood up. The girl groaned.

"Only a minute less than fratello's." Sicily brushed off her clothes. "You know, it wasn't really necessary to throw explosives at me."

"Have you ever been on a battlefield?"

"No, not technically."

"Zhat's vhy." Sicily sighed and shook her head as Germany reset the watch. "Italy! You're up!" From across the field, Sicily could see her brother nodding and saluting. "Drei... zwei… eins… Starten!" Italy took off, running down the length of the field, just as his sister had did. As before, random explosion went off here and there to simulate the battlefield. Sicily winced every time one went off. After a few minutes, Italy reached the finish with the rest of the Axis.

"Can we go have pasta, now, Germany?" Italy asked the blonde. Germany sighed.

"Yes, Italy." Italy smiled. He walked down the field with everyone behind him. About halfway down, Sicily's brown eyes widened. She heard a faint noise coming from up ahead. She knew what it was, and Italy was walking right towards it.

"Veneziano!" she yelled out, but Italy really didn't seem to hear her. As the noise got faster in pace, so did Sicily. She wrapped her arms around her brother, and the force of her simply colliding into Feliciano knocked them both to the ground. They skidded into the dirt just as an explosion went off, not to far from where the siblings were. Sicily winced slightly as she rolled off of her brother, breathing heavily. Italy sat up, helping his sister to stand, but Sicily just batted his hands away. "Lasciami in pace, Veneziano. Sto bene."

"No, non lo sei! Appena mi ha salvato da far saltare in aria!" replied Italy. Sicily groaned as she went to sit up, allowing dirt and other foreign particles deeper into her back. She looked up as Japan and Germany walked over to them.

"You didn't see if the explosives were delayed or not?!" she said in a rather angry tone.

"I did," Germany said as he pulled Italy up. "I vouldn't put my soldiers in danger like zhat. Unless it vas one of your explosives, zhen it vasn't my fault." Sicily groaned as Japan knelt by her. She looked up at Germany.

"I'm not even going to question how one of the Italian explosives managed to get in with yours." She allowed Japan to help her up. Blood stained the ground from where she had previously laid, and the back of her shirt was shredded in several places from the force of the explosion, and from those places there were several crude cuts in the girl's flesh, most likely mixed in with sweat, dirt and whatever else was on the ground after she rolled off of Italy. She groaned ever so slightly as she moved upward.

"Non c'era bisogno di farlo, sorellina. Mi sarebbe stato bene," he said. Sicily stiffened as Japan pulled her to her feet.

"Veneziano?" she said. Italy hummed in response. "Don't call me little sister." And that was the last thing Sicily said to anyone of the boys as she was dragged back to the building that Germany lived in.

As soon as the three arrived back to the home, Sicily grabbed her clothes (A/N: She doesn't train in her uniform, by the way, a lot like Italy does.) and bolted up the steps. She locked herself in the bathroom.

Sicily peeled off the shirt she was wearing and discarded it into the wastebin. It was stained with blood, and the back was torn beyond repair. She hissed as she did this, still not know what could possibly be in her cuts that could cause them to not heal. Too much dirt maybe?

Sicily turned and looked in the mirror. She hissed. Her back was nothing but dirt and blood. How she didn't pass out from blood loss already, she really didn't know. Grabbing a nearby rag, Sicily dampened it before running it along the skin of her back. The water ran through the open wounds, rinsing out any foreign particles. When she saw that the flesh of the cut she was working on had successfully begun to knit back together, she moved on to the next one. Eventually, her back was left without a cut in it. No blood or dirt remained, but Sicily wanted to get home as soon as possible to clean herself.

She quickly tossed her uniform on and headed down the stairs to face her allies. The first thing she was hit with was a flurry of rapid Italian from her brother. Even though she could speak it, at the speed Italy was going, she didn't quite understand it. After about three seconds, Sicily intervened.

"Fratello," she said calmly. "I can't understand a single word you are saying."

"I berieve that Itary-kun is worried about you, Siciry-san," Japan explained. "You didn't say anything to either of us after what you did." Sicily grabbed her wrist from behind her back.

"Well… I don't really understand what you're saying, Japan. Was what I did wrong? Was I not supposed to save my brother from being blown to bits?"

"If Italy vas human, zhen your actions vould have been right," Germany added. "However, considering ve are all Nations, strictly speaking, vhat you did vasn't necessary. Italy vould have been fine eventually."

"I know."

"And you did it because?" At such the simple question, Sicily's eyes narrowed.

"He's my brother." Sicily made a quick movement for the door, but was stopped by the person she named only seconds before.

"Sicilia," Italy said. "There's more than that."

"No, there isn't. Now, please. Let me go." Italy shook his head. Sicily sighed and turned back to the Axis. "I'm not going to tell any of you why I pushed Veneziano out of the way."

"Why not?" Sicily pried her arm from Italy's hand.

"Il motivo per cui mi fa paura, Veneziano." Italy just stared at her, while both Japan and Germany stood by with blank looks, not being able to speak Italian themselves. Tears began to well up in Sicily's eyes as the thought kept repeating in her head. "You wanted to know. And now you know."

"Know vhat exactly?" asked Germany. "Have you forgotten zhat Japan und I do not know how to speak Italian?" Sicily sighed.

"The reason scares me. I don't want to talk about it." She leaned against the doorframe. "I don't expect any of you to understand. Anyway, can we please change the subject?"

Due to how long the Axis had stayed, it became too late into the night for any of them to leave. Therefore, the Asian and the other two Europeans had to stay with Germany for the night.

Sicily was sound asleep downstairs. Well... not completely. Her mind was in a flurry after what had happened that day. Her face was damp with the cold sweat of a nightmare.

Sicily was standing in the middle of a field. However, she wasn't alone. Someone was holding her tightly, seeming determined not to let go. In front of her was a man with a face she couldn't make out and a gun. Tears were welling up in her brown eyes. Just a few feet away from them, were her brothers, the Axis, Spain, Belgium and France. They were all bound with their hands behind their backs and blindfolded. They all just stood there, not doing anything.

"Tell us everything you know," said the person holding her. "Or else."

"I don't know what you're talking about!" Sicily exclaimed. The man before her raised the gun in his hands. With a single shot, France fell to the ground like a rock. He didn't get up.

"I'll ask you again. What do you know?"

"Per favore, I don't know anything!" With another shot from the gun, Belgium went down. Tears threatened to fall. "No! Stop it!"

"If you cooperate, then we'll let you and your friend go free. Now, give us the information we want!"

"I don't know! Please, let them go!" The man didn't listen. Instead, he shot Spain. He fell to the ground beside the other two fallen. Tears slid down Sicily's face.

"Give up the information."

"What information?!" Another shot. Down went Japan.

"Will you comply now, girl?"

"I don't know what you're asking of me!" Bang. Germany fell onto the ground.

"Tell us what you know! Now!"

"I don't know anything! Please, listen to me!" With another shot, North Italy went down like a rock. Sicily's tears went down harder. "VENEZIANO!"

"Do you care to what happens to your family and friends?!" Sicily ignored him, but nodded. "Then why don't you answer my question? What do you know?"

"I don't know what you're asking me to do! What do you want?!" With wide eyes, Sicily watched as Romano was shot. "ROMANO!" No one was left standing. They were all lying in pools of their own blood. Sicily was pushed to the ground as she felt hot tears sliding as fast as they could down her face. Looking up, she saw that the people holding her had gone. She sprang to her feet and ran over to her fallen loved ones. She collapsed to the ground in front of them. The Nations were fanned out before her in a perfect circle. Sicily wiped her tears away.

"Please…" she muttered. "Please… regenerate… I need you, please!"

"Sicilia…"

Sicily buried her knees into her chest as she watched neither one of the bodies move. "Please! I need you! All of you! This isn't funny! Please, regenerate!"

"Sizilien."

She looked into the lifeless eyes of the boys and Belgium. None of them looked like they were going to breathe again. "Please…"

"Shichiriashima."

Nothing happened. Sicily fell onto the ground, her tears being the only sound heard.

"No…" she cried, her voice barely audible by this point. "Please… I need you… all of you…" The bodies lay still. "Regenerate… please… Don't leave me…"

"SICILY!"

Sicily woke with a sudden start in the darkness of the night. She was breathing heavily and was in a cold sweat. It only took her a few seconds to register that what she had just witnessed had only been a dream, nothing more. However, in the dark, she knew she was not alone.

"Sorella?" asked a worried sounding Italy. "Are you alright?" Sicily sighed and blinked away a few remnants of some tears. She wrapped the blanket she had tightly against herself.

"I'm fine, Veneziano," she said without looking her brother in the eye. "It was just a nightmare. Don't worry about me."

"You're lying again," said Germany, who- along with the rest of the Axis- was in the room. "You vere screaming like you vere being murdered." Sicily brought her knees up to her chest.

"I always do that."

"Nani?" asked Japan. "What do you mean?"

"It's a habit of mine. I always scream in my sleep when I have a nightmare."

"You were arso shouting, Siciry-san. In Itarian."

"And what was I saying?"

"You were yelling at someone to wake up," Italy translated. "And that you didn't want them to leave you." Little flashes of the dead Nations swirled in Sicily's mind. She tensed up.

"Was I?" she said rather nervously, "I didn't notice!" She laughed in a nervous tone.

"Are you alright?" Sicily nodded with hesitancy. "Bugiardo."

"I'm not lying! It was just a nightmare!" The Italian placed a hand on his sister's shoulder.

"You're lying. What happened?" Sicily pushed Italy off of her. "Rosaria, stai piangendo." Sicily wiped her eyes, getting rid off any evidence that the salty tears had been there in the first place. Sicily sighed.

"Look, it's fine. My nightmare scared me. That's all. I'm fine. You don't have to worry about me," she said.

"But sorella," said Italy as he wiped away what was left of her tears. "You never cry in your sleep."

"I said I'm fine, Veneziano."

"What happened?" Sicily hummed a small, confused response. "In the dream."

"I don't want to talk about it."

"Siciry-san," said Japan. "Itary-kun is worried about you. We arr are."

"Tell us vhat happened," Germany added. "Zhen ve can all go back to sleep." Sicily nodded and sighed.

"I was standing in a field, and someone was holding me... like I was a prisoner," she began, recalling the events of her nightmare. "There was a man in front of me. A man with a gun. In front of him... were all of you. And Romano. And Spain... and Belgium... and France. You were all blindfolded and bound. Then... the person holding me kept asking me for information that I didn't know. Every time I didn't give him what he wanted, the man shot one of you. Eventually, there was no one left and I was released. I went over to you and..."

"None of us would wake up," Italy guessed. Sicily nodded.

"That's when you three woke me up."

"It vas one nightmare," Germany said. "It's nozhing."

"And like I said, I'm fine."

"But you never cry," Italy once again repeated. "It must have really scared you."

"Of course it did. I don't want to-" Sicily suddenly bit down on her lip to stop the rest of the phrase to complete itself.

"You don't want to what?" Japan asked. Sicily shook her head.

"Please?" Italy asked. "It might help you get back to sleep."

"No."

"Answer zhe rest of zhe question, Sicily," Germany ordered.

"No."

"Sicily."

"I said no."

"Vhat vere you going to say?"

"I don't want to answer."

"Sicily. Answer zhe question!"

"Fine!" Sicily shouted, finally have been pushed over the edge. "I was going to say I didn't want to lose any of you!" The room was silent. "I don't want to lose any of you..." Italy sat down beside his sister, allowing her to rest her head on his shoulder. "It scares me half to death whenever you leave to fight. I'm afraid that you'll never come back."

"Just like Nonno did," Italy muttered. Sicily nodded.

"Sì."

"That's why you pushed Itary-kun away from the exprosion before," Japan said. Once again, Sicily nodded.

"I don't want to see any of you hurt. I love you guys. You're my friends."

"I vouldn't take zhe term so far," Germany added. "But I can't guarantee zhat ve von't get hurt. However, you can't let zhat affect you."

"You're not helping."

"Vhat I'm saying is zhat ve are all afraid of somezhing, but ve don't let it affect us."

"I'm afraid of losing you, too, Sicilia," added Italy. "But that's why I fight. To keep my friends and family safe!" Sicily sat up. "We all do!" Japan stiffened a little, but nodded as well.

"You can't be afraid of something that might happen. Otherwise, it will," he said.

"Japan is right," Germany said. "Now zhat's settled vith, I'm going back to sleep." The German headed back upstairs.

"Sleep well." Japan followed. Italy stood, pecking his sister lightly on the cheek.

"Buonanotte, Sicilia," he said.

"Buonanotte, Veneziano," Sicily said back before settling down for the night.

It was only about an hour later when Sicily was woken up once more from a nightmare. It must have been a little one, because her screams did not wake up the Axis. With a groan, she looked out a nearby window. It wasn't even dawn yet, seeing as the moon was still high in the sky. She groaned, trying to get back to sleep. It didn't work. She spent an hour and a half trying to fall back into her dreams. With a small failure of trying to sleep, Sicily sat up, yawning a little bit. She walked over to the window, wrapping the blanket around her shoulders. Sicily stared out into the starry-night sky. The moon was full, and illuminated all that it shone on. She sighed, having the moonlight remind her of those nights spent with Spain. That's when something flickered in the corner of her vision. With an eyebrow and suspicions raised, Sicily made her way for the door. Caution flowed through her veins as she opened it.

Whoever was sitting in the moonlight jumped when they heard the door creak open. Sicily relaxed when she saw Japan sitting in the night.

"Mi dispiace," Sicily said quickly. "I didn't know anyone was out here." Japan nodded.

"It is arright, Sicily-san," the Asian responded. "I didn't know anyone was still awake."

"What are you doing out here?"

"I had troubre farring back to sreep." Sicily hummed a little bit.

"Do you mind if I join you?" Japan shook his head, sending Sicily the signal to take her place. They sat together in silence for a few moments. "I didn't wake you, did I?"

"Nani?"

"Nothing. I just had another nightmare. I wasn't a big deal. Just a little one." Japan nodded, but didn't really say anything. Sicily laughed awkwardly. The silence was starting to get to her. "The moon is beautiful tonight, isn't it?" Japan nodded. "You know, I used to be afraid of the moon."

"Afraid of the moon?" Japan repeated. Sicily nodded.

"Sì, I was. There used to be this myth about the moon that scared me when I was a bambina. They said that the full moon could transform a man into a wolf." Sicily laughed a little bit. "I don't even remember why it scared me. I just remember being afraid to even look out the window every time there was a full moon. So, Spain used to make me sit out in the moonlight with him. And eventually, my fear went away."

"That's... rather interesting..." Japan muttered. Sicily looked over at him. The Asian's brown eyes were staring at the ground. "That's another fear of yours, correct?"

"It was, but yes. I suppose," Sicily answered. There was silence. "Japan? What are you afraid of?"

"What do you mean?" he asked.

"Your greatest fear. What is it?" Japan's body noticeably tensed.

"I rather not answer that question."

"Oh..." Sicily stared back at the moon. "I'm afraid of losing everyone."

"I know."

"But that's not it." Japan hummed a small, confused response. "I'm afraid of losing everyone... and I'm afraid that I'll be the cause of it. That I'll be alone because of something I did."

"I don't understand." Sicily put her head in her knees.

"Have you ever done something you regret? Something that hurt someone close to you?" Japan hesitated before nodded. "Were you scared at all? After you realized what you had done?" Once again, Japan nodded.

"It is an unpreasant feering. It is hard riving with such knowredge." Sicily nodded a bit, lifting her head up. She finally understood why Japan had been acting the way he did from the start of the conversation. That, and she finally heard what he was saying.

"I'm sorry. I didn't know. But, I'm sure they'll forgive you."

"We're at war with them." Sicily felt sweat running down her face. Maybe she wasn't helping the situation.

"It will get better..." she said.

"You're an innocent Nation, " said Japan. "You've never seen what we can do to each other." Sicily kept silent, although somewhere in the back of her mind, she held the urge to contradict the statement."Your fears are an exampre of that." Sicily snapped out of her thoughts.

"My fear...?" She repeated. "What does me being afraid of losing everyone have to do with my innocence?"

"You won't be abre to stay innocent forever. War can change a person. Armost arr of us have seen it happen. What you do in the battrefierd could decide what happens to you. "

"You're starting to sound like Germany."

"That may be. But, as I was saying before, your actions on the battrefierd decide what happens to you. As I see it, you have no reason to worry."

"Why is that?"

"Italy-kun, Germany-san and I wirr be there with you." Sicily smiled and stood up, rubbing her eyes.

"Grazie," she said with a yawn. "If you don't mind, I'm going back to sleep." She turned to head inside, but was stopped once again.

"Sicily-san," said Japan. Sicily turned back a bit, her hand already on the doorknob. "Before, Itary-kun carred you something when he was speaking to you. He carred you Rosaria."

"Sì. It's my name. My human name, at least. Rosaria Vargas." Sicily turned towards the door. She whipped around again. "If you don't mind me asking, what's your human name? I know we're not close enough that I should know but after tonight..." Japan nodded.

"Honda Kiku," he responded. "In western curture it wourd be Kiku Honda." The European nodded.

"Kiku Honda," she repeated. "It fits you." Sicily shot Japan a small smile."Buonanotte, Kiku."

"Oyasumi, Rosaria-san."

By the next morning, Sicily had returned to her normal persona. It seemed like the little talk from the night before with Japan had worked on expelling her fear, or maybe lessening it to a point where she could ignore it. However, that did not stop her from putting Romano in a death-like grip the next time she saw him.

Translations (Where necessary anyway...)

Lasciami in pace, Veneziano. Sto bene. - Leave me alone, Veneziano. I'm fine.

No, non lo sei! Appena mi ha salvato da far saltare in aria!- No, you're not! You just saved me from blowing up!

Non c'era bisogno di farlo, sorellina. Mi sarebbe stato bene. - There was no need to do it, little sister. I would have been fine.

Il motivo per cui mi fa paura, Veneziano. - The reason why scares me, Veneziano.

Bugiardo. - Liar.

Rosaria, stai piangendo. - Rosaria, you're crying.