48: Bribery
of the lowest tier there is in the castle.
"Meta, look!"
"I am looking."
"What? No, you're not. Do you have eyes on the back of your cape?"
"I am looking at Dream Land."
There was a long pause in which Meta Knight assumed he was meant to reflect on his actions and repent for his sins.
"Was that supposed to be a joke? Did Meta Knight just crack a joke? Never mind, actually. Sorry. Wrong address. I'll take my leave now. Goodbye."
Meta Knight slid the joystick forward. The Halberd's rumbling grew duller and the view of Dream Land below stopped scrolling. Then he tilted his head downwards, backwards a bit to acknowledge Kirby. Kirby and the obnoxiously large wooden cart of multi-coloured… things.
Kirby was obnoxiously pink, too, and that was too bright against the dark grey steel insides of the Halberd.
Pulling the cart forward by its rope, Kirby bounced sideways like he was presenting the front of it.
"I didn't see the Halberd land for a few days. Which means, since the Halberd doesn't have an abduction function, you haven't replenished your food source for a few days." Kirby nudged the cart forward again. Meta Knight leaned backwards. "I thoughtfully harvested the best of my fungi plantation for you!"
"You said you were leaving."
"Meta Knight, that's what a joke is. Don't you know what a joke is? Have you never made one yourself before?" Meta Knight resisted the urge to slam his mask against the closest thing. "This is why you don't have any friends. Oh! You have me, though!"
Momentarily, he considered spewing out the names of the Halberd crew just to swipe that almost mocking tone out of Kirby's voice away, then realised he'd sooner die than let them go embarrassingly teary-eyed over such a prospect. He settled for Kirby laughing at him instead.
Suddenly, Meta Knight looked at the giant cart and the fact that the Halberd was some kilometres above the ground geared in.
What even was Kirby—?
Kirby completely stilled out of nowhere. "Impossible."
Meta Knight felt his skin jolt. "What?"
"You know, when you're shocked to the point your vocabulary has been dumbed down to nothing, you say, 'impossible'—!"
"No, I meant, what?" Did he really have to start explaining expressions?
Kirby stared at him. "Meta, you huge idiot. You just said the same thing twice." Then he laughed again. "Well, this means that you've accepted that we're besties until we die! And you know what besties do, right? Riiiight?"
"Stop shimmying up to me. That's disgusting."
"They go on picnics. With more. Friends." Kirby looked at him dead in the eye with the level of seriousness equal to that of when they climbed up the steps to save Pop Star from imploding. Again. "In other words, you've already agreed to go on a picnic date with us. I knew you'd agree!" The way he beamed made his entire speech even more irritating.
Basically, it was impossible to follow Kirby's train of thought. Meta Knight had understood that from long ago. He blinked at Kirby's face, then at the closed exit. Then back at Kirby's face, then permanently away from it.
With lack of vocabulary, "Leave."
"That's an agreement if I've ever heard one." Glancing beyond Meta Knight and through the glass panel, Kirby squinted like he was trying to look for something. "A week from now! I'll come pick you up if you're lost! Bye-well!"
And then he spun right around and skipped off, automatic exit spiralling open for him.
Meta Knight stared hopelessly at the cart left behind.
Sailor Dee liked mushrooms, right?