As quickly as their lead appears, it disappears, too. Their first victim refuses to give up her son's DNA. A string of rape murders brings them back to reality, and shifts their attention to the present. Hours turn into days, and days quickly evolve into weeks. Nick finds himself in Queens. He knocks on the door. The voice on the other side tells him to come in.
"It's open," Elliot yells.
Nick pushes the door open, and enters the house. He follows the light into the living room. Elliot is surrounded by boxes. He sits on the couch. The coffee table in front of him is covered in case files.
"You look like you haven't shaved this week," Nick comments.
Elliot looks up, "You look like a terrorist, who hasn't shaved in two, what's your point?"
"You look rough."
"So do you."
"Do you have anything that might tell us where she is?"
"All of the leads I have found have amounted to nothing."
"What is in all of the boxes?"
"I am going through old case files to see if I can figure out who this guy might be."
"Any leads?"
"Plenty, unfortunately most of the ones who have been paroled, are dead, or back in prison, so it counts them out."
"Did you ever consider the thought that maybe it's not someone that you guys arrested?"
"Unfortunately that is what I am beginning to think."
"Is that a good thing, or a bad thing?"
"We both agree this guy is psycho, right?" Elliot questions.
Nick nods, "Yeah."
"He may be a sociopath. I fear that he is so careful, so meticulous that he's never been caught."
"And he may never be caught?"
She lies on her cot, with her worn orange jumpsuit. Her shoes are on the floor. She wears white socks. She takes a deep breath. It smells of fresh laundry. Today is Tuesday. He's just finished doing laundry. Of course before he agrees to do her laundry he makes her strip down to nothing.
She pushes the thought from her mind, as she lies on the cot, in a ball, with her knees to her chest. Her hair is still wet, from the shower she has just taken. Everything smells like Downy. From her clothes, to her sheets, and her pillow. Her skin smells like unscented soap. The aching, from her still healing scapular fracture tells her that it's going to start raining soon.
She listens to the clock on the wall, ticking away. She sits up, on the edge of the bed, and looks at the clock. It's just after midnight. She rises from the cot, and walks over to the calendar. She marks off another day. She writes a number in the box. 124. Day 124, she repeats in her head. She's been here for over four months now.
Her life has become a routine of torture. Her hope, patience, and faith are all wearing thin. Her hair is full of split ends. Her nails are short, and worn.
The waitress places another beer in front of him. He doesn't wait for her to walk away, before he begins to drink it. He drinks, and listens to the background noise, as it grows late. He knows that the bar will be closing soon, but he doesn't want to go home. At home it's empty, and he won't be able to sleep, no matter what he does. The bell above the entrance rings. He doesn't look to see who it is. He doesn't really care. The footstep approach him. Fin slides into a chair, across the table from him.
"I thought I might find you here."
Nick looks at his watch, "It's almost three in the morning what are you doing here?"
Fin shrugs, "I don't sleep much anymore, either."
"I know that she's not sleeping, so how can I?"
"Nick, you look like hell, go home. We have work in the morning. You need a shower, and a shave."
"What's the point?"
"You can't let this destroy you," Fin warns.
"How can I not? Our team is falling apart. Everything is changing. Every single day I think about my partner. I look over, and her desk is empty. I hear someone coming into the squad room, and I pray that it's her. I pray that all of this is just a dream, and she is just going to reappear. I don't know if I can do this anymore. I just want my partner back."
"I know. That is all any of us want."
"Fin I feel like I'm losing my mind. How could I have let this happen?"
"You didn't let it happen. You weren't there."
"But I should have found her by now."
"There isn't anything that we could be doing differently?"
"Really? Every single one of us is on edge. I took Amanda to a meeting this morning. And Cragen, he's just one breakdown away from the bottom of a bottle. John doesn't say anything, anymore, and you..."
"I what?"
"You act as if none of this is happening. You pretend like everything is ok."
"No. I just know that letting myself fall apart isn't going to help bring her home. Nick, go home, and start again, tomorrow."
"I'm fine."
"No, you're not. Your partner disappeared, and we haven't found her yet. It's tearing you apart, and everyone can see that."
"What do you propose I do? Should I do what Elliot does, and drown my sorrows in bourbon, as I comb through every single detail of her life, hoping that something will make sense? None of this makes sense. It's never going to make any sense. He could have chosen her at random."
She wakes up, in a cold sweat. She doesn't sleep, for all of the nightmares. When she wakes up, she's still in a nightmare. It's nearly four in the morning, but all of the lights in her basement cell are on. She doesn't have the courage to turn them off, anymore. She opens her eyes, and finds him staring at her. She sees his face, but she's not surprised in the least.
"Sweet dreams," he whispers in a devilish tone.
"Just go away," she begs.
"Make me," he goads her.
"I am tired, and I am hungry. All I want is to go home, and sleep in my own bed. I just want to go home," she breaks down. The tears begin to fall.
"The only way that you're ever going home is in a body bag."
"That's fine. Game over."
"You don't mean that. You still have fight left in you."
"I don't have any fight left in me."
"Give it a few days."
"A few days? What happens then?"
He smirks, "I'm going on a fishing trip for two days. It will give you time to plot your escape. Maybe you'll even try to get away."
"How? I haven't eaten in two days. I am dehydrated, and..."
He cuts her off, "I'll throw you a crust of bread, in the morning before I leave."