Chapter 11: Massacre at Two Pines

The incident that happened at the Two Pines Wedding Chapel that put this whole gory story into motion has since become legend. 'Massacre at Two Pines.' That's what the newspapers called it. The local TV news called it, 'The El Paso, Texas Wedding Chapel Massacre.' How it happened, who was there, how many got killed and who killed them – changes depending on who's telling the story. In actual fact, the massacre didn't happen during a wedding at all. It was a wedding rehearsal. Inside the Chapel was the pregnant Bride, her 4 friends, her fiancé, the reverend, and his wife. "Now, when we come to the part where I say, 'You may kiss the bride,' you may kiss the bride. but don't stick your tongue in her mouth." Everyone laughed as the couple looked at each other. "This might be funny to your friends, but it would be embarrassing to your parents." The laughter continues.

The Bride said, "We'll try to restrain ourselves, Reverend."

Then they heard the pianist. "Y'all got a song?" Everyone looked at him. The couple shook their heads. "How about 'Love Me Tender'? I can play that."

The Bride said, "Love Me Tender would be great."

The Reverend said, "Rufus – he's the man. Rufus, who was that, that you used to play for?"

Rufus replied, "I was a Drell. I was a Drifter. I was a Coaster. I was part of the Gang. I was a Barkay. If they come through Texas, I done played with 'em."

The Reverend said, "Rufus – he's the man." Then he asked his wife, "Have I forgotten anything?"

The wife replied, "Oh yes, you forgot uh, the seating arrangements."

He said, "Thank you, Mother."

"Yes."

The Reverend said, "Now, the way we normally do this – we have the brides side, and the we have the groom's side. But since the bride ain't got nobody comin', and the groom's got far too many people comin'…"

Then one of the girls said, "Well, yeah, they've comin' all the way from Oklahoma." Everyone laughed.

"Right. Well, I don't see a problem with the groom's side sharing the bride's side. Do you, Mother?"

"I don't have a problem with that. But, uh…"

"Honey, you know, it would be good if you had somebody come. You know, as a sign of good faith?"

The Bride was hesitant but said, "Well, I don't have anybody…except for Tommy and my friends."

The wife asked, "You have no family?"

The Bride replied, "Well, I'm workin' on changing that."

Another girl said, "Mrs. Harmony, we're all the family this little angel's ever gonna need."

The Bride turned to the girls and said, "I'm not feeling very well, and this bitch is starting to piss me off. So, while y'all blather on, I'm gonna go outside and get some air."

Then she stood up. "Ok. Um, uh, Reverend, sorry, uh…"

Her friends defended her. "She's gonna go out and get some air."

"Yeah. Give her delicate condition…"

"She just needs a few minutes to get it together. She'll be OK."

As the Bride walked to the doorway of the chapel she heard a certain flute and knew who it was. She turned around making sure that she wasn't fallowed and with her heart beating hard, she walked outside and saw Michael sitting outside with his flute. When the music was over, the 2 looked at each other. To Michael, even pregnant, he was looking at the most beautiful woman in the world. "Hello, Kiddo." he said.

The Bride asked, "How did you find me?"

Michael replied, "I'm the man."

The Bride asked, "What are you doin' here?"

Michael repeated the question. "What am I doin'? Well…moment ago I was playin' my flute." Then he stood up and walked to her. "At this moment…I'm lookin' at the most beautiful bride these old eyes have ever seen."

The Bride asked, "Why are you here?"

He replied, "Last look."

The Bride asked, "Are you gonna be nice?"

Michael replied, "I've never been nice in my whole life. But I'll do my best to be sweet."

The Bride walked up to him. "I always told you…your sweet side is your best side."

Michael said, "I guess that's why you're the only one who's ever seen it. Do you got a bun in the oven?"

The Bride nodded. "I'm knocked up."

"Jeeze, Louise." said Michael.

The Bride giggled a bit. "I know. If mom and dad see me now, I would be in deep shit."

Michael asked, "That young man of yours sure doesn't believe in wasting time, does he?" He gently started to rub her stomach. At first the Bride was scared but kept calm for her baby.

The Bride asked, "Have you seen Tommy?"

Michael asked, "Bug guy in the tux?"

"Yes."

"Then I saw him." he said. "I like his hair."

The Bride said, "You promised you'd be nice."

Michael said, "No, I said I'd do my best. That's hardly a promise. but you're right. What does your young man do for a living?"

The Bride replied, "He owns a used record store here in El Paso."

"Ah. Music lover, eh?"

"He's fond of music."

"Aren't we all?" After a brief silence, he asked. "And what are you doing for a J-O-B these days?"

The Bride replied, "I work in the record store."

Michael said, "Also. It all suddenly seems so clear. Do you like it?"

The Bride replied, "Yeah. I like it a lot, smartass. I get to listen to music all day…talk about music all day. It's really cool. It's gonna be a great environment for my girl to grow up in."

Michael asked, "As opposed to jetting around the world, killing human beings, and being paid vast sums of money?"

The Bride said, "Precisely."

Michael said, "Well, my old friend…to each his own. However, all cockblockery aside…I am looking forward to meeting your young man. I happen to be, more or less, particular whom my gal marries."

The Bride asked, "You want to come to the wedding?"

Michael said, "Only if I can sit on the bride's side."

The Bride smiled. "You'll find it a bit lonely on my side."

Michael said, "Your side always was a bit lonely. But I wouldn't sit anywhere else. You know…I had the loveliest dream about you…"

But then the Bride soon interrupted him. "Oh, here's Tommy!" He whispered to him. "Call my Xin."

They walked in as the 2 men shook hands. "You must be Tommy!" said Michael.

He replied, "Uh huh."

Michael said, "Xin's told me so much about you. Honey, you OK?"

The Bride said, "Oh, I'm fine. Tommy, I'd like you to meet my father."

Tommy asked, "Father? But he's Italian, you're Chinese."

Michael put his arm around her. "Let's just say I had a wild past with women."

Tommy shook his hand again. "I'm so glad to meet you, sir…uh, Dad."

Michael said, "The name's Michael."

Tommy said, "Well, it's great to meet you…Michael. Xin told me you couldn't make it."

Michael said, "Surprise."

The Bride said, "That's my pop for ya. Always full of surprises."

Michael said, "Well, in the surprise department…the apple doesn't fall far from the tree."

Tommy asked, "When did you get in?"

Michael replied, "Just now."

Tommy asked, "Did you come straight from Italy?"

"Of course."

The Bride said, "Daddy, I told Tommy that you were in mining for silver and…no one could reach you."

Michael said, "Lucky for us all, that's not the case. So…What's this all about? I've heard of wedding rehearsals, but I don't believe I've ever heard of a wedding dress rehearsal before."

Tommy said, "We thought, 'Why pay so much money for a dress you're only gonna wear once?' Especially when Xin looks so goddamn beautiful in it. So, I think we're gonna try to get all the mileage we can out of it."

Michael held the Bride's hand. "Isn't it supposed to be bad luck for the groom to see the bride in her wedding dress before the ceremony?"

Tommy said, "Well, I guess I just believe in living dangerously."

Michael said, "I know just what you mean."

The Reverend yelled, "Son. Some of us have places to be."

Rufus said, "Sure do."

Tommy said, "Look, we got to go through this one more time. So, why don't you have a s…" Then he got a better idea. "Oh my God. What am I thinking? You should give her away!"

The Bride grew a bit scared. "Tommy, that's not exactly Daddy's cup of tea. I think father would be much more comfortable sitting with the rest of the guest."

"Hmm. Really?" asked Tommy.

Michael said, "That's asking a lot."

Tommy said, "Oh. OK. Well, forget it. But how about we go out to dinner tonight to celebrate?"

Michael said, "Only on the condition that I pay for everything."

Tommy said, "Deal. We got to do this now."

Michael asked, "Can I watch?"

Tommy said, "Absolutely. Have a seat."

Michael asked, "Which is the bride's side?"

Tommy pointed to the left. "Right over here."

Michael walked to a pew as the 2 walked up to the alter. "Mother here we go! Now son, about them vows…"

The Bride walked back to Michael. "Michael…I just want…"

Michael said, "You don't owe me a damn thing. If he's the man you want…then go stand by him." The Bride smiled and kissed him.

Then the Bride put on her veil and asked, "Do I look pretty?"

Michael said, "Oh, yes." Then she kissed him again.

"Thank you." Then she walked back up to the alter. As the rehearsal went on, Michael was watching and outside of the chapel 4 people walked up with weapons. It was the Deadly Vipers. As soon as they walked in, gunfire was heard including screaming. It lasts all by a couple of seconds before it was over…including the last shot.