Sticks and Stones - Chapter 5 - by Emma Nisbet (grnfield)

Thursday – a couple of days later. One week after the collapse.

"OK, Colonel, you're free to leave the infirmary." Janet tells me. "I'm not clearing you for off-world travel for another week though. You'll need to use the stick for longer than that though while you continue the physio on your knee."

"Doc, You know the reason I need to get off-world - we're running out of time to remove the rubble from the site. We've only got another week before Hammond is ordered to abandon P7X-962 completely and resume 'normal operations' around here. Daniel deserves better than that. SG-1 – hell – the whole of the SGC needs closure. How can that happen without a body? Without somewhere that people can go to grieve? You remember how it was when he ascended. No-one knew whether to be sad that he'd gone or happy that he'd gone on to a higher plane of existence. And remember when Nem planted the false memories of Daniel's death in our heads? None of us knew what to think or how to act. Damn it, Janet - I even put a hockey stick through the General's car window. No, this time we know he couldn't have survived and we need to bring his body back for a proper burial."

She puts her hand on my arm and looks at me sympathetically. "Sir, I realise that you need to go but I can't justify the risk to your health by clearing you for gate travel. I promise that the moment I feel you're up to it I will inform both yourself and the General. Keep using the stick and finish the course of antibiotics and that day will come all the sooner. Hopefully we can get you a couple of days on P7X-962 towards the end of the week."

I know that her decision won't be swayed in this. Our 'Little Napoleon' is as stubborn as myself and I know better than to try and argue with her. She might keep me from gate travel for even longer – and with the deadline all too close I can't risk that.

"Ok, Janet, I'll look after myself." I promise her. "I will be cleared for gate travel before the end of next week though." I give her a look that says 'I'm damn well going to be fixed by then or my life won't be worth living.'

"I'm sure you will sir." She says gently as she squeezes my arm. I know she understood me.

"I'm going to see General Hammond to get an update on the SAR teams on the planet." I tell her.

"OK, sir, and please stay off that leg as much as possible." she reminds me.

"I will…and thanks Doc." I use my stick as ordered and tap my way to the elevator.

The doors open and I step inside, only to be greeted by sympathetic looks from the current occupants. I move to lean against the back wall and look at the floor. No-one says anything which is fine by me.

My floor arrives and I walk slowly towards Hammond's office. I knock at the door and heat the General call out, "Come in."

I open the door and enter the office of my commanding officer. On seeing me he stands up, motions to the chair in front of him and says, "Sit down Colonel."

I ease myself into the chair as the General sits back down in his. "How're you doing, son?" he asks as I look over to him. I notice how drawn he's looking – he looks like he hasn't slept in a week. Bear in mind what day we got back from P7X-962 he may well not have done.

"As well as to be expected, sir." I finally answer.

He looks at me closely and says "I hear Dr Fraiser has refused to clear you for gate travel at this time?"

"Yes, General, she's still not happy about the bruising on my chest and doesn't want to risk the gate due to the bruising being close to my heart, sir." I reply.

"I think you had her worried for a while there, Jack. Hell you had us all worried." he tells me. "No-one even knew if you'd got back inside the pyramid before it collapsed. Major Carter got back to the MALP and reactivated the wormhole once the seismic activity had died down. Last thing she knew was that you'd headed back that way before we lost all contact with you. When the SAR teams went through and finally located you under all that debris they were convinced that you were dead."

Hammond stops at this point and looks uncomfortable as he gathers his thoughts. "Son, you need to know that the Pentagon have officially recorded Doctor Jackson as deceased as of 0900 this morning. If we haven't retrieved his body by the end of next Thursday they are cutting off all funding for the SAR team on the planet. I'm sorry, son, but my hands are tied on this one."

He looks down at his desk and I know this is going against what he believes to be right.

"I understand sir. Janet told me something similar while I was still in the infirmary." I tell him.

"I know, son, I asked her to speak to you – to keep you informed as much as possible." The General looks directly at me now and says, "You understand that if I had my way we'd keep a crew there until every last stone was moved?"

I return his gaze, "Yes, sir, I do. However when the Pentagon big-wigs stick their oars in there's not much we can do about it. I take it you've tried contacting the President?"

"Yes, Colonel, I have." he informs me. "Just as soon as they gave me a date that we'd have to leave the planet by. However he also has to keep the financiers onside so he unfortunately had to back down on this one too."

"Damn. I take it Carter and Teal'c are still there?" I ask.

"Yes, Colonel. Major Carter came back through when they brought you back." he tells me. "Once you were delivered to the infirmary she went back to help co-ordinate the deployment of the SAR teams with SG-2 & 6. She's sent word to the Tok'ra but as yet we've not had a reply back from them. Teal'c returned from the planet the next day and stayed by your side until you awoke. Once you were conscious he left to inform Major Carter and hasn't returned to Earth since."

So the Tok'ra are out of things at the moment but they can be difficult to get hold of at the best of times. "What about the Tollan sir? Or Thor?"

"Major Carter managed to make contact with Commander Thor. He was not able to go there himself but sent the nearest ship he had available. Apparently they were only able to ascertain that there were no life signs under the rubble." The General tells me that "Due to some particular minerals in the rock and dust they were not able to pinpoint the remains of Dr. Jackson. Commander Thor requested that Major Carter convey his heartfelt sorrow for the demise of Dr. Jackson."

I nod, acknowledging the Asgard efforts. "Well at least they tried. I take it we didn't hear from the Tollan?"

"No Jack," the General answered gruffly. "They responded alright but were unable to help us at this time."

"Unwilling more like. They really need to get their priorities in order. We're not asking them for weapons of mass destruction of anything like that" I state, "…not this time anyway."

General Hammond looks at me again, his lips pursed into a tight little line. "I know Colonel. We've tried everyone we can think of but unfortunately we've drawn a blank with everyone we've turned to."

"I know, sir, it's just so frustrating. Even more so seeing that I'm stuck here and can't help out in any way." I shrug my shoulders dejectedly and tell him that, "I feel like a spare part at the moment."

"I know, Jack." he says gently. "I want you to go home and rest up for a few days. Janet tells me that you need daily physio on that knee and if everything looks OK then she may allow you to go to P7X-962 when the supplies go through at 1100 on Tuesday morning."

"Thank you sir. I'll be ready." I state firmly.

"I know you will, Jack, I know." Hammond says as he gets to his feet. "Now I'll get a driver to take you home. Dr. Fraiser will call on you later this afternoon. She's offered to do your grocery shopping on the way to you. Unless we hear any news – which I will inform you of, if I hear any – then I want you to stay there until Monday when someone will be along to collect you and bring you back to Dr. Fraiser for a thorough check over. Hopefully she will then give you the go-ahead for Tuesday morning. Your physiotherapist will call at 11.30 tomorrow and both days at the weekend too. Dr. Fraiser has informed me that you'll be using the stick for at least another couple of weeks – just as a precaution."

I grimace as he says this. "Just as long as it doesn't affect my chances of gate travel I'll put up with anything sir. I need to be there before the teams are recalled. It's something I need to do – to see it through to the end."

He's walked around to my side of the desk by this point and pats me on the shoulder. "I know Jack, really I do. Now please, get your things together. The driver will be waiting for you by the checkout station by the time you get there."

I close my eyes and take a deep breath before I stand up. "Thank you sir, and if you hear anything at all…" I leave the rest unsaid, I know that the General understands.

My head knows that I need to be at home to recuperate but my heart says that I should be doing something – I just don't know what. I walk slowly back to the locker room to collect my bag of spare clothes that have been there since last week.

Luckily there's no-one else in the locker room at the moment as I open my locker and drag out the bag. I carefully sling it over my left shoulder while keeping hold of my stick with my right hand.

I close my locker and my eye falls on Daniel's name plate on the locker next to mine. I reach our and run my fingertips gently over his name, remembering the last time I had to clear out this locker – after Daniel ascended. Jonas had taken over the archaeologists locker, job and office not long after that. Not this time, I vow. This locker will be sealed after I empty it this time. No-one will take Daniel's place so completely ever again.

I guess I'll have to empty his house as well. I hope the General doesn't expect that done any time soon. I couldn't face it yet. Sure I'll make sure that anything classified is brought back to the SGC but everything else will have to wait. I'll keep my eye on the house and keep it safe before I feel ready to empty it.

I turn to the door and set off down the corridor with a heavy heart. I enter the, mercifully empty, elevator and leave it again to get into the next one that will take me to the surface. I enter the checkout area and see an airman waiting near a car by the checkpoint. He nods at me as I sign out so I know he's the driver that Hammond has assigned to take me home. He opens the door for me as I approach the car. I thank him quietly, get in the car and allow him to drive me home.

Monday morning – four days later. Eleven days after the collapse.

"Welcome back, Colonel." Janet calls as I walk into the infirmary. "How are you feeling this morning? Jeannie tells me that your knee is responding well to the physio but we'll have to keep that up for a while longer before you are completely mobile again. How are you coping with the stick?"

"So, so, Doc." I reply. "Although I hadn't realised how god damn awkward my house would be to get round with it. I don't normally even have to think about the steps up and down into the various rooms but I've noticed every last one of them in the last few days. I definitely won't miss the stick when I can finally get rid of it."

"Yes, I did wonder about the steps. You've not actually gone over though have you? Fallen I mean?" she asks, worriedly.

"No, don't worry about that. I've come close a couple of times but not actually gone down." I assured her.

"That's good to hear, Jack. Very good." she states.

"Oh, and, Janet," I say. "Thanks again for bringing the groceries the other evening, I can't think how I'd have got them otherwise."

She smiles at me and gives my arm a gentle squeeze. "Not a problem, Colonel, it was the least I could do. I didn't want you to have to leave the house unnecessarily and figured you wouldn't feel up to it anyway. It's good to know you've not been trying to overdo it, and that you've been using the stick no matter even if it made things awkward. Now let's have a look at your chest. That bruise to your sternum area is a beauty."

I give her a disbelieving look and mutter slightly under my breath as I unbutton my shirt. Janet smiles reassuringly at me as she gently palpates my bruise covered chest.

"Any discomfort there, Colonel?" she asks as she fits her stethoscope into her ears and warms the trumpet with her hand before placing it on my chest.

I allow her to listen to my heart before answering. "Nothing too bad, more stiff than anything else."

"Have you been taking the tablets that I sent home with you sir?" she looks me in the eye so she can be sure I'm going to answer her truthfully.

"The antibiotics – regular as clockwork. The anti-inflammatories too. But, I've…er…not taken many of the painkillers…" I admit, "…they make me too fuzzy-headed."

"Colonel!" she says and rolls her eyes in exasperation. "You should have called me, I could have sent over a different prescription if I'd known you were having problems."

I just shrug my shoulders and then realise that it wasn't such a good idea. I try to stop the wince before it can form on my face but obviously fail at this and the doctor spots my attempt.

Janet puts a gentle hand on my arm and says "Don't worry, Colonel, I'll get you some different ones before you leave here. Would you like me to give you a shot that will start acting pretty much straight away?"

I can't believe I'm agreeing to another needle – I've had enough of them in the last week. "Sure thing, Doc. I'm not that comfy from the trip in the car. I think the seat belt aggravated things a bit."

She sighs as she turns away from me and walks over to unlock the drug store. I see her load the syringe and when she returns she simply asks, "Ready?"

When I nod she quickly wipes my bicep with an alcohol scrub and jabs me with the needle to administer the painkiller.

"OK, Colonel, get dressed." she tells me. "I'm not 100 happy with letting you travel but I'm guessing that you're going to find a way to get through the gate whatever I say or do?"

"Er, well yeah, I was kinda thinking that Doc." I hesitantly admit. "You know I've got to go…"

She crosses her arms in front of her and closes her eyes as she collects her thoughts together. "Well, I'll make a deal with you sir." she says. "You stay on the base tonight, that will stop us having the seat-belt problem again. Then in the morning I will accompany you through the gate to P7X-962."

I'm shocked – Janet doesn't usually travel through the gate unless it's a medical emergency, and then, usually, only certain members of her team go through but not her.

Janet obviously works out what I'm thinking as she pats my leg and says, "Don't worry, sir. It's only a precaution. In all good conscience, as your doctor, I couldn't forgive myself if you were to become ill again due to the gate travel. At least if I'm travelling with you I can treat you immediately, should something happen…sir."

I'm dumbfounded. I realise just how much Janet does NOT want me travelling through the gate and I say "You can't possibly know how much I appreciate that, Janet. Far, far more than I could say in words."

"I know what it means to you, sir." she says. "I know what it means that you go and see the rescue attempt...Rescue attempt - I don't suppose we can really call it that any more - but I don't know what else to call it, sir."

"I know what you mean, Janet. There's some lack of finality there somehow, calling it a rescue attempt. It's better than calling it 'body retrieval' although, which I suppose is what it is now after all. I still can't believe they're not going to let us finish the job and bring him home."

"Me too, sir. How can they put a two week limit on something like that?" Janet asks sadly.

"Money, Janet…money and politics." I reply.

Suddenly I realise the real reason that Janet wants to travel with me. She's not seen the devastation caused by the pyramid collapse. She's not seen the attempts being made by the Search and Rescue teams out in the field. The doctor needs some sort of closure and knows that she won't get it if we fail to return to Earth with Daniel's body.

I nod in understanding and reach down to squeeze her hand which is still resting on my leg. She squeezes me back briefly before dropping her head and turning away. As she turns I see the tears in her eyes, I slide off the bed and catch her shoulder. I gently turn her round and enfold her in my arms for a hug. To hell with regulations, to hell with the cameras – we both need this.

#

I don't know how long we stand there like that but eventually I feel Janet try to move away. I release her slowly and she pulls a tissue from the pocket of her lab-coat.

She wipes her eyes and nose before looking up at me. "Thank you, sir…and, sorry." she sniffs and wipes her nose again.

"Me too, Janet, me too." I say. "I'll meet you here in the morning at 1030hrs before we gate out? I believe the supplies are due through the gate at 1100."

"Yes sir," she agrees. "…and thanks again, Jack."

"Any time, Doc. I'll be in my office if you need me." I tell her, as she hands me my stick.

I slowly make my way back to my office. I expect to find a weeks worth of paperwork for me to lose myself in for the rest of the day. I let myself in, sit down and pull out the first of many files that are awaiting my attention.

#

I hear a knock at the door and hear Walter calling to me. "Colonel O'Neill, sir, may I come in?"

"Sure, come in, it's not locked." I call back. I look up from my paperwork and look at my wall clock. I'm surprised to find that it's past 1300hrs.

Walter pushes the door open and backs his way into the room. I wonder what he's doing until he turns around and I see he's carrying a tray from the commissary, complete with coffee, orange juice and two covered plates of food.

"General Hammond asked that I kept my eye on you, Colonel." Walter explained. "He asked that I check you didn't lock yourself in here and not come out for the rest of the day. I figured you needed some time to yourself and guessed that you probably wouldn't want to go to the commissary on your own, sir. I can't imagine that you want to face everyone down there yet so I decided that I'd bring you some lunch. I know that coffee is probably off-limits but I won't tell Doctor Fraiser if you don't. I brought the OJ for you to take your tablets with."

This was all said in rather a rush. I know that, for some reason, I've always made the technicians nervous.

I give him a reassuring smile and say "Thanks, Walter, it's most appreciated. Thank you for the coffee as well, my diet's been severely lacking it in the last week!"

He smiles at this, obviously glad that the sentiment has gone down well. "Well that's OK, sir. I'll leave you to eat your meal. If there's anything else you need please give me a shout."

He leaves the room, quietly pulling the door closed behind himself.

I take a sip of the coffee, lift up the coverings from the plates and allow myself a moment to contemplate the wonder that is Walter. How on Earth does he know what my favourites are? Were they actually both available at the commissary today? It's quite late, I wonder about them still being available at this time. Did he have them specially made up for me?

I sniff the aroma of the fresh lasagne and gaze longingly at the Pumpkin pie – amazing! The smell of the food has awoken my appetite and I tuck in voraciously. I know I've not eaten as much as usual in the last week, the IVs were in for four days and since then I've just not had the stomach for it.

Again I silently thank Walter and steadily clear my tray of, first the lasagne, then the pie. When I've eaten I rummage in the pockets of my trousers and pull out the pill bottles. I get out the correct dosages of antibiotics and anti-inflammatories and down them with the orange juice. Thankfully I don't need the painkillers at the moment thanks to Janet's injection earlier this morning.

I stand up and walk across the room to place the tray on the small table near the door. I then return to my desk and my paperwork.

I sit there for the rest of the afternoon until my bladder starts to object. I find that it's 17:35 and decide to call it a night. I close up my office and head for my personal quarters. I think I'll get some food a bit later on when more people have left for the night.