Chapter 13: The Cruel Tutelage of Pai Mei
Back when the Bride first started, Michael and the Bride were in China in the at the mountain range. Michael was playing his flute and the Bride was on her sleeping bag with a fire to keep them warm. Then he started to tell a story. "Once upon a time in China, some believe around the year, one-double knot-three. A...head priest of The White Lotus Clan, Pai Mei, was walking down the road, contemplating whatever a man with Pai Mei's infinite power would contemplate - Which is another way of saying, who knows. When, a Shaolin monk appeared on the road traveling in the opposite direction. As the monk and the priest crossed paths...Pai Mei - in a practically unfathomable display of generosity, gave the monk the slightest of nods. The nod, was not returned. Was it the intention of the Shaolin monk to insult Pai Mei? Or, did he just fail to see the generous social gesture? The motives of the monk, remain, unknown. What is known, were the consequences. The next morning Pai Mei appeared at the Shaolin Temple, and demanded that the temple's head Abbot offer Pai Mei his neck, to repay the insult. The Abbot, at first, tried to console Pai Mei, only to find, Pai Mei was inconsolable. So, began, the massacre of the Shaolin Temple, and all sixty of the monks inside, at the fists of the White Lotus. And so began, the legend of Pai Mei's Five-Point Palm - Exploding Heart Technique."
The Bride asked, "And what pray-tell, is a five-point palm - exploding heart technique?"
Michael said, "Quite simply, the deadliest blow in all of the martial arts. He hits you with his fingertips, at five different pressure points on your body. And then, he lets you walk away. But once you've taken five steps, your heart explodes inside your body, and you fall to the dead."
The Bride asked, "Did he teach you that?"
Michael answered, "No. He teaches no one the five-point palm - exploding heart technique. But he is Nietzsche's psalm personified. If Pai Mei doesn't kill you, he will make you stronger. Now one of the things I always liked about you, Kiddo, is you appear wise beyond your years. Then allow me to impart, a word to wise. Whatever - WHAT - EVER - Pai Mei says, Obey. If you flash him - even for an instant – a defiant eye, he'll pluck it out. And if you throw any American sass his way, he will snap your back and your neck like they were twigs, and that will be the story of you." He went back to play his flute as the Bride lay down.
The next morning, at the big stone staircase, Bride sits in the jeep, by herself, parked in front of the Priest Pai Mei's home located high up on top of White Lotus Mountain. For over 100 years, his home used to be the temple of the White Lotus Clan, and he was the temple's head priest. The temple served as a home to over 60 priests and disciples. But now - the year 1990 - the White Lotus Clan is no more. All the priests have died. All that remains, is a very old man, who once upon a time, some worshipped as a god and some feared as a devil...neither was wrong. A huge stone staircase of one hundred steps climb up a hill leading to Pei Mei's home. Michael climbs down to the jeep black and blue. "He'll accept you as his student."
The Bride asked, "What happened to you?"
Michael replied, "Nothing."
The Bride asked, "Get in a fight?"
"Friendly contest."
She climbs out, and gets her bag out of the back. "Why did he accept me?"
Michael gave her, her stuff. "Because he's a very very very old man. And like all rotten bastards, when they get old, they become lonely. Not that that has any effect on their disposition. But they do learn the value of company." Michael casts a glance at the stone steps he just descended. "Just seeing those steps again makes me ache. You're gonna have plenty of fun carrying buckets of water up and down that fucker."
Michael got in the truck as the Bride walked up to him. "When will I see you again?"
Michael said, "That's the title of my favorite soul song of the Seventies."
"What?" asked the Bride.
"Nothing. When he tells me you're done."
"When do you think that might be?"
"That my dearest, all depends on you. Now remember, no backtalk, no sarcasm. Least not for the first year. You're going to have to let him warm up for you. He hates Caucasians, despises Americans, and has nothing but contempt for women, so in your case, that may take a little while but not long since you're Chinese. Adios."
The jeep speeds off down the road…leaving the Bride all alone, somewhere in the middle of China. She begins the journey before her by ascending the 100 steps to Pai Mei. The huge temple is exactly like it must have been a hundred years ago, except now it's empty and dusty. The Bride enters, s he's winded from climbing up those fuckin steps. Once at the top, the Bride saw him sittin. She approaches the old man, reaches the edge of his sitting area in front of the scrim, lowers to one knee and bows her head. "Master…"
Pai Mei said, "Your Mandarin is lousy. I can't understand a single word you say. It causes my ears discomfort. You bray like an ass! You are not to speak unless spoken to. Is it too much to hope – you understand Cantonese?"
The Bride said, "I speak Japanese very well –"
Pai Mei interrupted her. "I didn't ask if you speak Japanese, I asked if you understand Cantonese?"
The Bride said, "A little."
Pai Mei said, "You are here to learn the mysteries of Kung Fu, not linguistics. If you can't understand me, I will communicate with you like I would a dog. When I yell, when I point, When I beat you with my stick!" Her head remains bowed, eyes to the floor. "Michael is your master, is he not?"
The Bride answered, "Yes, he is."
Pai Mei said, "Your master tells me you're not entirely unschooled. What training do you possess?"
The Bride answered, "I am proficient in a combination of Tiger - Crane style. And I am more than proficient in the exquisite art of the Samurai Sword."
Pai Mei snorted. "The exquisite art of the samurai sword. Don't make me laugh! Your so called exquisite art, is only fit for Japanese fat heads!" Then he started to laugh to himself, and strokes his long white beard... "Your anger amuses me. Do you believe you are my match?"
"No."
"Are you aware I kill at will?"
"Yes."
"Is it your wish to die?"
"No."
Pai Mei laughs again. "Then you must be stupid…so stupid. Rise, and let me look at your ridiculous face. Rise" She rises. "So my pathetic friend…is there anything that you can do well? What's a matter? Cat got your tongue? Oh yes, you speak Japanese. I despise the Goddamn Japs!" He pointed to a weapon rack. "Go to that rack." The Bride put down her backpack next to her stuff and walked over to the rack and stopped for the next order. "Remove the sword." The Bride removes a large heavy steel Chinese Sword. Pai Mei rises from his sitting position, for the first time, parts the scrim, and approaches the Bride. "Let's see how good you really are. If you land a single blow, I'll bow down and call you master." The Bride doesn't need a second invitation, she ATTACKS with the sword. He deftly moves out of the way. The fighting style is now like an old Shaw Brothers film, with Pai Mei dodging at will all of her rapid sword slashes. Quick and skillful as her moves are, they're also full of Effort and Frustration. While Pai Mei effortlessly moves out of the sword's path. She tries more... He strikes her with a blow to her chest, that sends her flying. She attacks with a wild cat's fury. He hops and ducks and dodges her sword easily. He leaps high up in the air and lands standing on the Blade of her Sword. The Bride looks down the blade of her sword and can't believe it. Pai Mei smiles at her and says; "From here you can get an excellent view of my foot." He does a BACKFLIP off the sword, kicking the Bride in the face in mid-somersault sending her back a bit. He laughs as he says, "Your swordsmanship is amateur at best." The Bride tries again but he easily caught the sword and pushed her against a tree. He laughs again. "Your so-called kung-fu is really quite pathetic." He threw the sword and it landed perfectly back on the rack. "I asked you to demonstrate—what you know—and you did…Not a goddamn thing! Let's see your Tiger Crane match my Eagles' Claw." The Bride brushed of the leaves and stood stance. She attacks him again. She attacks, he dodges, she attacks, he bocks. When she got him by the neck, she pushed it away with ease and when she kicked him in the balls he felt no pain. Balls of steel for sure. He twirls around and laughs. While his back was turn, the Bride picked up a rock to hit him but with little effort on his part, he reaches out and grabs her wrist, twists...She's on the floor, with her arm stuck out in the air behind her, her wrist still between his fingers. He could literally break her arm in half. He tossed the rock out of the way. He TWISTS her wrist... ...The pain is excruciating… "Like all yankee women, the only thing you know how to do is order in restaurants and spend a man's money. Excruciating – isn't it?"
He twists more... She cries out. "Yes!"
Pai Mei said, "If it was my wish…I could chop your arm off."
The Bride yelled, "No please don't!"
Pai Mei said, "It's my arm now. I can do with it what I please. If you can stop me, I suggest you try."
The Bride yelled, "I can't!"
"Because you're helpless?"
"Yes!"
"Have you ever felt this before?"
"No!
"Compared to me you're as helpless as a worm fighting an eagle?"
"Yes!"
After a brief silence, he yelled, "THAT'S THE BEGINNING!" He lets go of her wrist. She cradles her still-throbbing arm as she was on the ground. "Is it your wish to possess this kind of power?"
The Bride said, "Yes."
Pai Mei said, "You're training will begin tomorrow." Then he left but after a minute or so he walked back. "By the way, welcome home granddaughter."
Shan let out a breath of relief. "You nearly ripped my arm off. Thought you wouldn't recognize me."
Pai Mei said, "Shameful thinking." He helped her up. "To think a grandfather wouldn't recognize his own granddaughter."
The walked together. Shan asked, "So what do you think of my acting?"
Pai Mei said, "To be honest…Michael Bay worthy."
Shan looked at him dumbfounded. "Hey I acted WAY better than any of those assholes in his films."
Pai Mei said, "M. Night Shyamalan. You ticked me off!"
The next day, it was time for training. Pai Mei stood in front of a wood wall three inches in front of him. His right fist is cocked back by his breastplate, he's concentrating on a certain spot on the wall. The Bride stands behind him, watching. He lets out a scream, and puts his fist through the wall. He turns to the new student; "Since your arm now belongs to me, I want it strong. Can you do that?"
Shan replied, "I can, but not that close."
Pai Mei yelled, "Then you can't do it!" Then he asked, "What if your enemy is three inches in front of you, what do you do then? Curl into a ball? Or do you put your fist through him." He hits the wall again leaving another hole. "Now begin." Then he left. The Bride takes her place in front of the wall. She hits it. Only managing to stain the wall with the blood from her scraped knuckles. Then again. And again... When she stopped a bit, she heard Pai Mei. "It's the wood that should fear your hand – not the other way around. No wonder you can't do it – you acquiesce to defeat – before you even begin." Then he left again as Shan tried again.
As time went by, Shan remain strong. She carried buckets, practice moves, and try the wood again. But still Pai Mei wasn't convinced. But while he had doubts, Shan had spirit. She still practiced moves, the wood again but faster and when she stopped even for a second, Pai Mei would hit her on the head but she would get back up and try again. Soon she was getting good at her training though when she gets days off and rest in bed, her hand would go flying on instinct and hit the wall. Now that was painful. Soon enough the 2 were practicing together the Eagle's Claw and the 2 would nearly match each other to perfection. But Shan would still carry buckets of water but it was making her strong. And as she keeps practicing hitting the wood with Pai Mei behind her watching, he grew impressed.
One night, both Pai Mei and Shan were sitting at the dinner table. Pai Mei concentrates on eating. Shan's hand was scraped bloody. She tries to eat a bowl of rice with chopsticks, but her fingers won't work. She puts down the sticks and takes a scoop of rice with her fingers. Pai Mei slams his stick on the table to catch her attention. He took her bowl and said, "If you want to eat like a dog…You can live and sleep outside like a dog. If you want to live and sleep like a human…pick up those sticks." He tossed the rice and filled it with a new batch. Shan fixed the bowl in front of her and try to pick up the sticks. Though it was difficult, she managed to eat the rice. After dinner, Pai Mei walked up to her, picked up her shaky and iced her knuckles. "You never lost your spirit. Though you work for a man that is evil, you know it was for the greater good." He kissed her forehead. Then he sighs. "There is still one more thing I have to teach you, but you must promise me, only to use it as a last resort." Shan shakily nodded her head.
BACK TO COFFIN, SIX FEET UNDER
The flashlight beam turns on. Shan was still in there. Her breathing is normal. Her composure is back. Taking the flashlight, she shines the beam on the lid above her...Along the line of the coffin's rim and the lid where many nails meet...Then down to her red cowboy boots, bound by a leather belt around her. Raising her knees, as much as the coffin will allow, and wiggling her feet, she slips her bare feet out of the boots and the belt's binding...Then, using her bare feet, then her bound-at-the-wrist hands, to pass one of the boots up to her...When the red boot is in her grasp, she turns it upside down...The straight razor falls out. Opening the razor, she slices through the ropes that tie her wrists, till both hands are free. She positions the flashlight so its beam shines on the coffin lid. The lid about an inch and a half from the tip of her nose, about three inches from her hand. The turtle on her back glowed. "No Genbu/Xuan Wu. I need to do this myself." She got the flashlight ready and her hand against the wood. "Alright grandpa…here I came." Her eyes focus on the wood above her, her left hand reaches out, touches the pine, passing her energy to it... ...Her long, white fingers, ball up into a FIST... ...and that FIST begins STRIKING the coffin lid above her. AGAIN... And AGAIN... Her FIST SMASHES into the wood, leaving BLOOD on the lid… AGAIN...And AGAIN...A crack in the lid...AGAIN...Dirt begins to sift through the cracks onto the Bride... AGAIN... More dirt... AGAIN... Even more dirt... AGAIN... THE LID SMASHES and dirt pours into the coffin like water... THEN... Through six feet of dirt, Shan - DIG - CLIMB - SWIM - SPROUT - BURROW - trough the earth like a sprouting plant and a burrowing mole combined, clawing for surface air. Outside the tombstone of "PAULA SCHULTZ," and the mound of dirt over her grave. When... Shan's hand breaks the surface...then like one of Fulci's Zombies, Claws, Digs, and Pulls herself from mother earth's womb. Once extracted from her (almost) final resting place, she rolls over on her back, exhausted. She drinks in the night's air as if it were gulps of water. DIRT is in, on, and under every crack, crevice, and wrinkle on her body. The dragon on her back glowed. "Don't even think about it Qing Long/Seiryū. The air is too polluted for me to waterbend something to drink water air." Then she felt the pain as she wounds healed. "In Chinese classical elements why does the tiger represent metal, the dragon wood, and turtle water? The only one that makes sense is bird fire." She got no answer. "I liked it when I thought it was just the basic four before I did research."
A Texas diner across the street from the graveyard. A young soda jerk stands behind the counter, waiting for a customer, when he sees something approaching through the restaurant's big picture window that makes him look twice. Through the picture window Shan emerge from the Texas night, and walk towards the diner looking for all the world like a six-foot tall female version of the Peanuts character "PIG PEN." With each of her footfalls, a smaller mushroom cloud of dust comes off her. Shan walks into the diner, sits on a stool at the counter directly across from the Soda Jerk, and asked, "May I have a glass of water, please?"