Chapter 14: ELLE & I

The next morning, behind the wheel of a hot black and gold Trans Am, driving full out on top of the desert's surface. Spanish Rock coming out of her powerful speakers. The car soon stops in front of Fredo's camper. She shuts off the car and the radio. The camper door opens, Fredo's squints outside through the bright gold, hot desert morning, at the Tall Blonde Girl with one Good Eye.

Elsewhere, Shan was walking through the desert back to Fredo's camper. Sadly, she couldn't take her boots since they were 6 feet under so she was walking around barefoot. It took her all night but after some mountain climbing and desert walking, she soon saw Fredo's camper and saw Ellie's car drive up. Just seeing the 2 boiled Shan's blood and ran to the camper.

Meanwhile in the camper Fredo and Elle in the tiny kitchen of Fredo's tiny camper. Elle sits at the kitchen table, and the red suitcase in the living room. Fredo stands at a blender making them both breakfast margaritas, as he finishes telling the tale of last night. "...So that's called a Texas funeral?"

Fredo answered, "Yep."

Elle was impressed. "I got to give it to ya Fredo, that's a pretty fucked up way to die. What's the name on the grave she's buried under?"

"Paula Schultz."

Elle got a pad and paper and wrote down the name. Then she saw the sword. "Can I look at the sword?"

Fredo pointed to the red bag. "That's my money right there in that red bag, isn't it?"

Elle said, "It sure is."

Fredo went back to work. "Well then, it's your sword now." Fredo turns on the NOISY blender, as Elle walked in the living room and unsheathes the blade and said something. Budd shuts the blender off. "What's that you said?"

"So, this is a Hattori Hanzo sword."

Fredo answers as he fills up two former peanut butter jars with breakfast margaritas. "That's a Hanzo sword alright."

"Michael tells me you once had one of your own."

"Yeah once."

Elle asked, "Yeah? How does this one compare to that one?"

Fredo said, "If you're gonna compare a Hanzo sword, you compare it to every sword ever made - wasn't made by Hattori Hanzo. Here, wrap your lips around this." He hands her, her margarita, she takes a sip. He takes a gulp. "So, which "R" you filled with?"

Elle asked, "What?

Fredo said, "They say the number one killer of old people is retirement. People got'em a job to do, they tend to live a little longer so they can do it. I've always figured warriors and their enemies' share the same relationship. So now you ain't gonna hafta face your enemy on the battlefield no more, which "R" are you filled with, Relief or Regret?"

Elle replied, "A little bit of both."

Fredo said, "Bullshit. I'm sure you do feel a little bit of both. But I know damn well you feel one more than you feel the other. The question was which one?"

Elle looks right at him with her eye, and says; "Regret."

Fredo said, "Yeah you gotta hand it to the ol' girl. I never saw nobody buffalo Michael the way she buffaloed Michael. Michael useta think she was so damn smart. I tried to tell him... Michael, she's just smart for a girl."

He looks over at Elle and grins. Elle looks at him. "Want your money?"

She gestures to the red suitcase by her feet. He smiles and lifts it up on the table, unzipping it open. Lying inside is a cool million, the thousand dollar bills are inside stacks of a hundred thousand each. At the sight of all this lettuce, Fredo lets out a whistle. "Great day in the morning." He lifts a stack out of the bag, then another, then another...and when he lifts the third stack out, he looks down and sees a black mamba snake coiled underneath. The Black Mamba opens its wide jaws...and leaps right at Fredo… striking Fredo in the face repeatedly in blurred succession (three times in the face, and once in the forearm). Fredo topples out of the kitchen chair onto the floor, bundles of money fall with him.

Elle takes a sip of her Margarita. The Black Mamba leaves Fredo and goes under the refrigerator. Ellie looks down, Budd lies on his back on the kitchen floor at her feet. His face is already grotesquely swollen and white as a sheet. The serpent's extraordinarily potent venom makes a full-frontal assault on the cowboy's nervous system. "Oh, I'm sorry Fredo, that was rude of me, wasn't it? Fredo - I'd like to introduce my friend, The Black Mamba. Black Mamba - this is Fredo. You know before I picked up that little fella, I looked him up on the internet." Got her notepad out. "Fascinating creature the Black Mamba. Listen to this, ...In Africa, the saying goes, in the bush, an elephant can kill you. A leopard can kill you. And a Black Mamba can kill you. But only with the Mamba, and this has been true in Africa since the dawn of time, is death sure. Hence its handle; Death Incarnate. Pretty cool, huh? ...Its neurotoxin venom is one of nature's most effective poisons, acting on the nervous system causing paralysis. The venom of a Black Mamba can kill a human in four hours, if say bitten on the ankle or the thumb. However, a bite to the face or torso can bring death from paralysis within twenty minutes. Now you should listen to this, because this concerns you. The amount of venom that can be delivered from a single bit can be gargantuan. - You know I've always liked that word Gargantuan, and I so rarely have an opportunity to use it in a sentence. If not treated quickly with anti-venom, 10 to 15 milligrams can be fatal to human beings. However, the Black Mamba can deliver as much as 100 to 400 milligrams of venom from a single bite." Ellie finishes reading and puts the paper away. She looks down at Fredo at her feet, going through all the symptoms she just described. "Now in these last agonizing minutes of life you have left, let me answer the question you asked earlier, more thoroughly. When it comes to that bitch, I gotta lotta "R's" in me. Revenge is one. Retribution is another. Rivalry is definitely one. But I got another "R" for that bitch you might be surprised to find out. Respect. But right at this moment, the biggest "R" I feel, is Regret. Regret that maybe the greatest warrior I have ever met, met her end at the hands of a bushwhackin, scrub, a lacky piece of shit like you. The woman deserved better." Soon enough Fredo died. Ellie stood up and started to pack up the money when she got a phone call. She answered it and continued to clean up as she told a story. "Mike...Elle. I have some tragic news. Your brother's dead. I'm sorry baby. She put a Black Mamba in his camper. I got her, sweetie. She's dead. Let me put it this way. If you ever start feeling sentimental, go to Austin, Texas. When you get here, walk into a florist and buy a bunch of flowers. Then you take those flowers to Huntington cemetery on Fuller and Guadalupe, look for the headstone marked "Paula Schultz", then lay them on the grave. Because you will be standing at the final resting place of BEATRIX KIDDO." She picked up the red bag and placed it on the table. "Look…I can be there in about 4 hours. Do you want me to come over? No, no, no, no. You need me baby, I'm there. OK. I'm leaving now. You go smoke some pot or somethin' I'll be there soon."

She hung up the phone, got her bag, the sword, and as she kicked the door opened, the dirty Black Mamba kicked her back in. In short, it was Shan but her number 2 mind woke up. The 2 started to fight in the camper. Elle tried to get the sword out, but Shan pushed it back in. Elle punched her in the face and the 2 started fighting again. Then Shan grabbed a TV antenna and used it as a sword on Elle marking her face. Then Shan grabbed her sword but Elle tried to use it to cut Shan's throat. It didn't work with a kick to the groin. Then Shan tried to cut Elle's throat but being underground made her weak. Elle kicked her leg and head-butted Shan then she leaps to the air but Shan directed her to a wall, which broke, and Elle landed in the bathroom. That's when Shan tried to drown her in the toilet but Elle flushed it. Ellie kicked her again off her of her and tried to get away but Shan dragged her back to continue the fight. Then Elle kicked her into Fredo's room and as she ran off, Shan saw Fredo's Hattori Hanzo sword. She opened it and saw it's engraving. "To my brother, Fredo. The only man I ever loved. Michael."

Elle got the sword and when she turned back she saw Shan with a sword too. "What is that?"

Shan answered, "Fredo's Hanzo sword."

Elle said, "He said he pawned it."

Shan smirked. "Guess that makes him a liar now, doesn't it?" Then Shan asked, "Elle?"

"Bea."

Shan said, "Somethin' I've always been curious about. Just between us girls…what did you say to Pai Mei to make him snatch out your eye?" She was referring to when Ellie was Pai Mei's pulped she said something stupid and how she lost an eye.

Elle said, "I called him a miserable old fool."

Shan said, "Ooh. Bad idea."

Then Elle asked, "Know what I did? I killed that miserable old fool." Shan went wide-eyed. She killed her grandfather? Now she's the last.

Turns out while training, Elle did something to Pai Mei's food. "How do you like the fish head you miserable old fool?"

Pai Mei was on the ground holding his chest and the fish head. She poisoned his fish heads. "Elle, you treacherous dog." Elle laughs at him. "I-give-you-my-word—" She kicked him to the floor and then he dropped.

Elle told Shan. "And I told him, 'To me, the word of an old fool like you is worth less than nothing'." Then she laughs. "That's right. I killed your master. And now I'm gonna kill you, too. With your own sword, no less. Which, in the very immediate future, will become my word."

Shan growls. "Bitch…you don't have a future." The 2 stand off together and then they charged each other. They were sword, pushing against each other. Looking at each other Shan new that she could beat her but she also knew, Elle wasn't worth it. Not after what she did. Instead of killing her, she plucked out her other eye. Elle screamed as she thrashed on the ground like a chicken without its head. Shan looked at the pathetic woman and dropped her eyeball and smashed it under her foot. Then she walked to the living room, got her sword and saw the Black Mamba snake. She looked at the thrashing screaming woman and nodded the snake to Elle. The snake slithered toward Elle. Shan pushed the door opened and walked out as it closed behind her.