Ding!
Ahh. The soothing sound of wine glasses ever so gently touching. It brings with it the sense of accomplishment and the promise of an enjoyable evening.
This is the first dinner they've had out in…months. It's not like they can go out that often. Even this is a risk, but so far they haven't been recognized and it's been too long since they've had a nice night out. They're considering going for a walk later, maybe dropping by the late-night theatre by the lair.
"What are you getting?"
"I'm debating between the alfredo and the ravioli. You?"
"Lasagna or the penne alla vodka."
"Get the penne."
"You just want to steal from me." he accuses, and she throws him an affronted look.
"I would never! Besides, we both know what befell my poor fried rice."
He takes a sip of wine rather than answer her and glances at the dessert section. For later, of course.
It's comfortably warm inside, it's not crowded, and the radio isn't blaring.
Of course it can't last.
CRA-ASH!
The shattering window is maybe ten feet away. The cause is the Joker.
Oh, no.
The purple stain staggers to his feet, cackling through what Jonathan is gratified to see is a broken jaw. The gratification turns to exasperation when the Batman swings through what's left of the glass and knocks him back to the carpet.
"Maybe he hasn't seen us."
It's a futile hope. Three screaming patrons, one cloud of fear gas, and several bruises later, all three of them are in the back of the Batmobile, cuffed and sore. The Joker, at least, is unable to speak.
"It's your fault we're so thin, you know." Kitty informs him. "You should feel terrible."
"Hn."
"We weren't even doing anything."
Silence from the front seat. The Joker giggles. Jonathan wonders if there's a way to murder him. If he gets his cuffs…no, Batman will just resuscitate him.
This is incredibly unfair.
"Why couldn't you have caused trouble elsewhere? Like across town?"
The clown merely grins at him-oh, good, a chipped tooth-and they both huff. Kitty leans her head on his shoulder and glares at the back of the driver's seat. Tragically, said seat does not burst into flames.
One day. One day, they'll have a night out in relative peace.
THE END