Disclaimer: The characters belongs to Hiro Mashima
Another writing for the forum, with a kiss prompt again. This time, it is "I missed you"
It was almost unbelievable how little Rogue had thought of his guild mates in the last years. Even though it could be blamed to the shadows that swallowed him and partially dominated him, it was still unbelievable that, in all that time, they didn't even slip for a second in the back of his mind.
After Frosch's death and his following desertion from the guild, he didn't care about anything else but himself, his ambitions and later, his searching for the magic to control the dragons and defeat Acnologia. He didn't care even when he started to think about his plan to come back to the past and change the events, never care about the guild that once he proudly represented. When Eclipse gate finally opened and dragons crossed it, not so much as he thought but enough to be controlled, he didn't have a thought for those ones that still lived at that time. His only worry was to save himself from the past to secure his future. Whatever could happen with anyone else didn't matter to him.
That was the reason because it was so ironic that it did now, when he was disappearing after the gate from the past was broken and his travel was avoided, changing the future. It was ironic that he worried now about what his actions could have caused to the people he used to love. It was ironic that his feelings sealed for so many time had decided to reappear now. Maybe it was because the fire Dragon Slayer had promised him that he would save Frosch and would avoid everything else. Maybe that promise gave him hope not for himself, but for his past self.
He was a lost cause, his time was a mess and his Sabertooth had disappeared a long time ago, partially for Acnologia and his chaotic reign and also for his fault, he couldn't deny it. Maybe if he would have been less selfish, if he would have been stronger, maybe he could have help them some way. Maybe then, Sting's death wouldn't have been useless.
The same way his guild mates disappeared from his mind, it had been years without thinking about him consciously. Even when his magic was with him, melted with his own, even when his reflection remembered him every day of the other presence that should be there and wasn't, even when he never threw away the last thing he had from him, even after all that, he never gave him anything more than a superficial thought from time to time.
Thinking more hurt, hurt too much, even half drowned for the shadows as he was. They had too little time, it was unfair. After all the years of hidden feelings between them, years when they had shared almost everything but none of them dared to ask for something else, the time between the day they finally accepted their feelings and the day Sting left his side was too little.
Although he bragged about killing Sting and steal his magic, even when he had tried to convince himself that that was what happened, it wasn't so different from the story he used to tell about Skiadrum's death. The mission that seemed easy at the start, had drastically changed after a dark guild appeared. Both had been overtaken like few times happened to them and, even when they finally won, Sting had been fatally hurt. There was no way they could had get help in time and so Sting asked him to take his life and keep his lacrima with his powers. Rogue refused at first, of course, because he didn't want to accept the true even when he knew there was nothing to do. It couldn't be that was Sting the one who had to leave. It couldn't be that their future together disappeared so suddenly. However, at the end he had no option but to listen to him and take the magic at didn't belong to him at first, but he had learnt to know so well.
At that moment, the entire guild had been there for him, to support him and try to ease a little his pain. The only thing that kept him going was his worry for Frosch. And when that mission went bad, when the ice mage accidentally killed the little exceed while he was trying to prove his new loyalty, everything ended for Rogue. He allowed the shadow to swallow him losing his mind and when he came back hours later, he was the only one still alive. He, or his shadow, or both because they were the same at the end, had killed to everyone who stood in his way, were they from Avatar, the Magic Council or his own guild. And he didn't regret anything because his old self had finally died with Frosch.
After his body disappeared from the destroyed capital of Fiore, the situation had gotten strange. The darkness, one that he couldn't use, had taken everything and he felt like floating in the nothing. It was similar to travel with the gate, but it was a different sensation. When he crossed Eclipse there was a clear sense of moving even when he couldn't see the destiny. Here, it seemed that he wasn't going anywhere.
And then, the sensation disappeared and he found himself in a warm place, where a soft breeze blown. He felt a tickle on his hand and he realized the only reason he couldn't see anything was because he had the eyes closed. When he opened them, he stood up and found out a strange and empty place. There was nothing there but golden grass and a blue sky as far as he could see.
Then, a voice called behind him. A voice he knew very well, a voice that he couldn't forget, not even in a thousand years.
"Rogue"
The possibility that it was just his imagination didn't even cross his mind. His memories could never reproduce that inflection so special. He didn't turn, although the need to do it almost burned him. He feared and was ashamed to face him. He didn't want to turn and look him to the face, he didn't want to see the disappointment that was surely written on his face. He didn't want to confirm what he already knew, that he had betrayed the trust he put on him when he died. And Rogue did it not once but thousands of times, since the first time he surrender to his instincts to the moment Fairy Tail's mage stopped him.
And in spite of that, he had the need of turning around, of seeing his face again when he already thought he won't do it again. Even if he hated him, it was worthed to bear his fair judgment if he was able to fee his features just for a moment.
He had missed him, because even when he had his magic it wasn't the same that having him. And now, all the memories that not long ago were hidden had decided to show up doing harder to keep his decision and don't turn around. He wished he could run away, found a shelter from his eyes where he could take control of his feelings again and then, maybe, he could face him. But there was no place he could hide, nor him nor his sins.
Would he still be the same he remembered? Would his eyes still shine the same when he talked about something he was interested? Would his laugh still be as loudly as before? Would he smile in that way Rogue used to love?
Time slipped with that thoughts and when a warm hand touched his should, he had no choice but to turn around and face the ghosts who came back.
He was exactly the same before. Just as he remembered him, in the first months after he became the guild master. Before everything went bad, before Rogue ruined the little that was still okay. And he smiled, smiled to him that didn't deserve it, as if nothing had passed. As if the years didn't pass by and they were still two young men with no worries.
He took a step back and looked to his feet, since suddenly he couldn't stand the feeling's avalanche, mixed and conflicting, that fell over him in just a second. The stronger were first his longing for what he once had and lost, and second the regret for what he had done since then and what his actions had triggered.
"What are you doing here?" Was the only thing he could ask, fearing that his voice will betray him and break.
"I came for you" Sting answered, raising his hand to caress his cheek.
" Why?" said Rogue, not being able to stop his answer to the caress and looking up to the blue eyes he had in front of him.
"Why? Because I missed you, of course."
Rogue felt his body shaking just before their lips met and after he couldn't think in anything else but the sensation that he had missed for so long. It was a soft kiss at the start, barely a touch, but it soon got needy. Rogue set his hands on Sting's shoulders and brought him closer to his body. He needed to feel him near, to be sure it was real.
They had been separated a long time ago, in an unfair way and since then nothing was the same. Because he had needed too many times the arms that now surrounded his waist in a hug, not too tight or too loose, perfect. Because he had missed the smell of his partner, his mate, that now was all over him while their noses were grazing. Because if he wouldn't have gone, nothing would have pass and everything would have keep going as always. Simple, perfect, if they were together.
He didn't know how much time had passed, but when they got apart for breath and he opened his eyes that he didn't know when he had closed, Sting was smiling again and Rogue dared to think that, maybe, everything will be okay.
A/N: Updating this because why not. Life has trapped me and I want to write but can't fpound time and when I do, I'm so tired :c
