In honor of the new chapter of theblindwriter95's Family Love, where Elena was streaking through the castle, I thought it would be fun if Bobby Lee and James sang this classic Ray Stevens song as they chased her. This is also the song that was referenced several times in the chapter. Ray Stevens' music is not mine, and for a variation on this classic, check out chapter 227 of STR2D3PO's The Pup Pack.
Bobby Lee: Hello, everyone, this is your action news reporter with all the news that is news across the nation, on the scene at the supermarket.
There seems to have been some disturbance here. Pardon me, sir, did you see what happened?
James: Yeah, I did. I's standin' over there by the tomaters, and here she come, running through the pole beans, through the fruits and vegetables, nekkid as a jay bird.
And I hollered over t'Amber, I said, "Don't look, Amber!" But it's too late, she'd already been incensed.
Bobby Lee: Here she comes
James: Look at that, look at that
Bobby Lee: There she goes
James: Look at that, look at that
James and Bobby Lee: And she ain't wearin' no clothes
Bobby Lee: Oh yes, they call her the Streak
(James: Look at that, look at that)
Fastest thing on two feet
(Look at that, look at that)
She's just as proud as she can be
Of her anatomy
She goin' give us a peek
James: Oh, yes, they call her the Streak
(Bobby Lee: Look at that, look at that)
She likes to show off her physique
(Look at that, look at that)
If there's an audience to be found
She'll be streakin' around
Invitin' public critique
Bobby Lee: This is your action news reporter once again and we're here at the gas station. Pardon me, sir, did you see what happened?
James: Yeah, I did. I's just in here gettin my tires checked, she just appeared out of the traffic.
Come streakin' around the grease rack there, didn't have nothin' on but a smile.
I looked in there, and Baileywick was gettin' him a cold drink.
I hollered, "Don't look, Baileywick!" But it was too late.
He'd already been mooned. Flashed him right there in front of the shock absorbers.
Bobby Lee: She ain't crude
James: Look at that, look at that
Bobby Lee: She ain't lewd
James: Look at that, look at that
James and Bobby Lee: She's just in the mood to run in the nude
James: Oh, yes, they call her the Streak
(Bobby Lee: Look at that, look at that)
She likes to turn the other cheek
(Look at that, look at that)
She's always makin' the news
Wearin' just her tennis shoes
Guess you could call her unique
Bobby Lee: Once again, your action news reporter in the booth at the gym, covering the disturbance at the basketball playoff.
Pardon me, sir, did you see what happened?
James: Yeah, I did. Half time, I's just goin' down thar to get Bianca a snow cone.
And here she come, right out of the cheap seats, dribbling, right down the middle of the court.
Didn't have on nothing but her PF's. Made a hook shot and got out through the concessions stand.
I hollered up at Bianca, I said, "Don't look, Bianca!"
But it was too late. She'd already got a free shot.
Grandstandin', right there in front of the home team.
Bobby Lee: Oh, yes, they call her the Streak
(James: Look at that, look at that)
The fastest thing on two feet
(Look at that, look at that)
She's just as proud as she can be
Of her anatomy
She's gonna give us a peek
James: Here she comes again.
Who's that with her?
Gabby? Is that you, Gabby?
What do you think you're doin'? You git your clothes on!
Bobby Lee: Oh, yes, they call her the Streak
(James: Look at that, look at that)
She likes to show off her physique
(Look at that, look at that)
If there's an audience to be found
She'll be streakin' around
Invitin' public critique
Bobby Lee: Girls! Where you goin'?
James: Elena, you shameless hussy!
Bobby Lee: Say it isn't so, Gabby!
James and Bobby Lee: GIIIIIRLS!