~ Michi ~

"Wh… What is it?" I couldn't seem to control my pulse or my stupid stammering around him no matter how hard I tried.

"I want to talk to you alone. Just between the two of us."

I frowned. Something he felt like he couldn't say in front of Toma? "I mean… Are you okay?"

Shin sighed impatiently. "I'm fine. But I really want to talk to you. I'm not sure how many more times I can emphasize that, so are you coming?"

"Don't be pushy!" I turned to Toma. "Sorry… I think I'll go with Shin today. But I'll see you on the 18th, and I'll make it up to you, promise. I'll buy you lunch. Okay?"

Toma shook his head and laughed. "It's fine, just go. Here, just give me the keys so I can lock up. You go ahead. And I accept your offer for lunch. I won't forget it though, in case you were hoping I would."

"Not at all. Thanks!" I squeezed him once in a hug from the side before going up to Shin. "So…?"

"Come on." He spun around and went out the door without waiting for me.

"Hey, stop acting like Kent!" I chased him out and grabbed his sleeve to keep him closer. "Are you in a mood or something?"

"No."

"Okay…?" I poked him with my free hand to urge him to keep talking.

"Just… Wait until we get there."

"This better be good…" I muttered. He had a backpack on, so there was no telling what manner of things he could have in there. "Are you gonna axe murder me?"

"Probably not."

"Good, good."

"How can a conversation like this happen so casually?" Musca asked, shaking her head.

I just shrugged. Sometimes you just had to go with the flow. Other times… Not so much. "Why are you taking me to the park…?" Apprehension crept into my tone. I hadn't really wanted to come back here; it was a place too full with memories of him, and basically… What an idiot he was. "You're an idiot."

"Whatever you say." He slung off his backpack in front of the lake shore and pulled a blanket out before laying it on the ground and sitting on it. He glanced at me for the first time since leaving the café when I just stood there staring at him. "You can sit too, if you want. Or not, although it's more awkward that way."

"It's awkward either way, with you and your special secret intentions." I plopped down a foot or so away. Sitting too close or too far away would both convey separate things I didn't want to, so this was the best bet. I was probably overthinking it in my own craziness though. "Idiot."

"Uh-huh."

I sighed. "Out with it, then. Honestly, why'd you bring me here?"

"I decided on where I'm going to college and I wanted you to be the first person I told."

"What about your dad?"

"He's at work. I'll tell him when he gets back." He took a breath and let it out slowly, looking tired. He had always pushed himself hard to succeed…

"Things are still going okay?"

"Yeah. Home's more comfortable now. I don't dread going there." He nodded. "But that's beside the point." He paused, and that only made his next words feel heavier. "I'm going to college in America. The United States, to be specific."

It felt like someone had punched me in the throat and the stomach at the same time. "Um… Wow," I coughed.

"Yeah. I got a track scholarship, and it's a college that offers a no-tuition promise and a work-study. I'll be busy as hell, but it'll be worth it to come out with little to no loans on my plate."

"Well… Yeah, you couldn't ask for better than that." I paused. "The United States…" I had assumed that even if he did go out of town or several hours away, he'd at least stay in Japan. "How's your English?"

"It's getting better. I've been practicing every day."

"Ah. Wh… When do you leave?" If he went so far away… Would we ever see each other or talk like this again? I just couldn't stop selfishly thinking of myself, how I'd just miss him so damn much…

"I'll spend New Year's and Christmas with my dad after graduating mid-December, then I'll move so I can get assimilated before starting college."

"That's… Around three and a half months."

"Yeah."

"Ah." It was nowhere near enough time with him. I took a shaky breath. "C-congratulations. I'm happy for you. You deserve it, for working so hard… You idiot." All of those things were true, but they were tempered with this sort of deep sadness at the prospect of what his departure could mean.

"Why do you keep calling me an idiot?" He smiled slightly.

"Because." I sighed and smiled back. "Before… If you had officially said the words to me… If you had said, "Wait for me"… I would have. But now… It's sort of a relief to know that it's not possible to hear those words anymore."

He looked at me seriously, but there was mild surprise there too. "I'm sorry."

"It's fine, really. Like I said… I'm so happy for you, Shin. You'll do great. Just… Keep in touch if you're so inclined. Okay?" I smiled, tried to.

"Michi, I can feel tears in your eyes… It burns a bit," Musca said softly.

I just kept smiling. Shut up, you.

~ Shin ~

I wanted to wipe that sad smile off her face. No, that was partially a lie. I wanted to pull her in and kiss it away, and kiss her more even when it was long gone. But that window of opportunity had closed. So I just nodded instead. "Okay. I will."

Michi grinned. "Good, good."

What now…? I wanted to keep her here longer. The words stayed in my head. Would have waited... She would have waited for me if I had just asked her.

"Hey, can I ask you something?"

I almost jumped. But it was useful for her to be keeping to conversation going. "Sure."

"You know, I'm still missing some memories… I want you to tell me everything you know about Toma and I. Our dating life, and why we broke up." She spoke seriously, leaning forward with narrowed eyes. "This is really important."

"Oh." She'd just had to pick this topic, out of all of them… "A disclaimer, though… You might get mad. Please think twice before hitting me."

"Maybe." She raised her eyebrows curiously and expectantly.

"Well…" Where to even start? "The thing was, Toma and I always had this joke as kids in middle school where one of us was going to marry you someday. You never paid attention to us though."

Michi blushed. "Of course not. Childish promises don't mean anything."

"Right. But as we grew up we still, uh… We were still sort of doing that. Competing over you."

"Wha…? You're both idiots!"

"Again, whatever you say." The awkwardness I felt just kept growing with every word, but I couldn't just stop, not with her staring me down intent on getting information. "Well I never made a move, and then Toma asked you out and apparently you said yes because you guys dated for a little while."

"And?" She was tapping her head with her fingers as if trying to make memories surface in accordance with what I was saying.

"Toma's parents got divorced, and he took it pretty hard. You two broke up not long after he started living on his own. He's never talked to me about it, but I'm guessing he might have just taken his anger out on you, you got into a big fight, and decided it'd be better to just be friends. Get some distance."

"Huh…" She frowned, mulling it over.

"That's only speculation on my part though. You'll have to ask him yourself if you want to know more."

"Thanks for telling me what you were able to." She paused again. "How long after all that was the time you invited me to the track meet? That's something I remembered about you especially."

"Between nine and ten months. Closer to nine, I think."

"You really do work slowly, don't you?" She laughed, nodding to herself when she stopped. "I'll talk to Toma. Maybe I'll remember something… Hey, uh, this might sound like a strange question, but… Has he ever been violent, or anything like that...?"

"Toma? Of course not." I frowned. Where was that even coming from? "Did something happen?"

"Not here." She shook her head. "I mean, no. Nothing. I was just wondering. I really want to get to the bottom of this." She tapped the side of her head again. "Anyways… I should go. I wanted to, uh… To go look at something."

"Are you okay? Is everything okay, I mean?" Now she had me worried.

"I'm fine, really. Don't worry. I just need to get some things to make dinner tonight."

"If you're sure."

"Course I am!" She grinned and hit my arm lightly before we both stood. "Well… Congrats again." We just looked at each other for a moment before she awkwardly put her arms out. "Just… It's just a congratulatory hug. Nothing more."

"Nothing more," I echoed, smiling a bit as I pulled her in close, clinging to her and to moments like this.

She would have waited for me...

Damn.

Damn it all.

~ Michi ~

I put my cheek to his chest. He was thin when i held him close, but I loved how safe and comfortable it felt there. It gave me a good head space to think in.

Toma wasn't a violent person and never had been according to Shin, so maybe Ukyo's warning to me just didn't apply here... That's what I could hope, at least. And the reason for breaking up with Toma had been because of his parent's divorce? That didn't make as much sense. I understood perfectly well what a painful divorce was like, so couldn't I have helped him through it by giving him empathy and comfort? No, I definitely needed to talk to him now that I had this new information.

"I should go..." When I started to pull away Shin held fast, arms tightening around me. I squirmed a little. "Shin?" I just wanted to leave already, before I started crying like a wimp. The bonds I had with my friends here were all I had in this world, and I felt one of them slipping away now. It hurt badly, tearing at my chest.

"Michi... Let me kiss you?"

"Eh?!" I was stronger than him, I knew that, yet I just couldn't get away.

"I want to be honest, just once. It... It doesn't have to mean anything. It'll be... A good memory between us. One time only, with my real feelings."

"Idiot..." A good memory... What a beautiful way to put it. "You stupid idiot." I closed my eyes. "Fine then..." He could show me how he felt. I wanted to know despite being fully aware it wouldn't change anything.

I felt his lips touch mine gently at first, pressing with further firmness as seconds ticked by. Then his hands went into my hair to twine in it and pull slightly, and he tilted his head and seemed to press in as hard as he could. It hurt, but that felt appropriate for the circumstance. I could barely breathe he was so close, taking it all. It was an all-consuming feeling, a heavy and hot one. I had to escape it.

I pulled away messily. "That's..." He touched his lips to mine again to get me to stop talking.

"Not enough. That's not even close."

"It's already..." He kept interrupting with kisses, arms moving to wind around my back and bring me closer. "Too..." I clung to the back of his jacket for support. "Mm... Much..." I gasped for air when his mouth left mine but what breath I had taken hitched when his lips hit my neck, his teeth brushing against the skin. He was going to leave a mark there... My knees were getting weak, legs trembling. "Ah... Ah..." The tears leaked from my eyes without warning, sneaking out while my guard was down.

"Don't cry," Shin murmured when he saw the tracks, kissing them away. "It's alright..." He assured me softly before sealing my mouth again, sharing the taste of tears as his now moistened lips slid against mine. We were clinging to each other so painfully, but it felt so good at the same time. I couldn't think, so I just ended up looking around confusedly when my legs just gave out on me. Shin chuckled softly as he knelt in front of me. "That's enough now."

"I..." I huffed, trying to get my breath back. My whole body felt all out of sorts. "I'd say so..." I put a hand against my chest and felt my heart thumping erratically. "Just let me recover for a few minutes, and then I really do intend to leave if you'll actually let me..." It was a lot harder to be all sassy when your head was spinning.

"Take your time." He put his arms around me, and I held him back. We could cling to this moment all we wanted for now, regardless of what the future held.