Disclaimer: I do not own Magi

Lost, Strayed, Fallen

4th Moment: Kougyoku - Darkness at the End of the Tunnel

When she woke again, it was to a sky as blue as she had remembered seeing a few months ago - and to two new, though not unexpected, facts: one, Kouen-oniisama had been executed; two, Hakuryuu-chan had been crowned the fourth emperor of the Kou empire.

A voice spoke from a side somewhere. Then, she felt being helped into a sitting position with soft pillows behind her. That same voice spoke again and something was pressed to her lips. She opened her mouth and listlessly swallowed the warm liquid spoon after spoon. The voice kept saying things she didn't bother to listen. So tired... She was so very tired. If only she could just die...

But somewhere deep down she knew she must not die. Not yet.

Not when Kouen-oniisama had died for them all and in such a way. Not when Koumei-oniisama and Kouha-oniisama were imprisoned in a far, far away place and she had yet to know if they were all right and living well.

And, especially, not when those three were still out there, alive and free, after what they had done.

Past moments...faces familiar and unfamiliar...flashed in her mind and had her re-live those times all over again.

Truths and lies...her choosing feelings over reasons and suffering the present consequences...burned that dead yet still beating lump of flesh inside her hollow chest.

White and pale pink... Dark green and blue...

Violet and gold.

Her body gave a violent jerk and she lurched forward, coughing and vomiting. Hatred and rage bubbled up, pushing and snapping at the initial sorrow and despair.

I can't die! I won't die! I must... I must...!

She must...what?

What could she, the traitor of two reigns, could do? Whatever she did, even her death, could not change the fact that she betrayed her brothers. Kouen-oniisama died, Koumei-oniisama and Kouha-oniisama were exiled, and even her country...was no longer the proud empire it once was. All of these happened because of her momentary weakness. That she had let herself to be blinded by foolish dreams and infatuation, forgetting what was most important, and became a tool for that man to use against her family and her country... she deserved to die a thousand times and be cut into ten thousand pieces!

And yet, she was allowed to live.

She, a lowborn child, a useless princess, a failure, a traitor...

"You're wrong."

She blinked. A voice, a young man's voice, full of vigor and mischief, stabbed at the thick clouds in her mind, breaking and scattering them.

"You're strong, Kougyoku," said the young man in black as he extended his hand toward her.

Judal-chan?

Then, she saw red and felt a large hand patting her head kindly.

"Make a place for yourself. One that will belong to you and you alone."

Kouen-oniisama...

Scarlet eyes that had been so dull and empty slowly became clearer and brighter till they were blazing with fire of life and determination.

She would live. She would take up the place she had made for herself once more. She would fulfill her duty and she would acheive that which only she, and no one else, could do.

And, lastly, most importantly...

Kougyoku lifted her head and turned to the worried face of her one and only faithful attendant.

"Ka Koubun," she called, smiling a sweet, sweet smile.

I will die having my revenge.

"Prepare me a bath."

Truth be told, I have rather mixed feelings about Kouen's fake death. And the fact that Kougyoku was now by herself and in such a situation... I feel really sorry for her. Which is why, after this chapter, the new story that I have been working on will deviate from the original storyline quite a lot. Here's a warning: the new story will focus on Hakuryuu and Kougyoku, though I won't work it into a romance (maybe).

As always, I hope you enjoyed this chapter and thank you very much for reading.

Lastly, thank you so much for all reviewers! Without you, I couldn't have pushed this chapter out :)