Sticks and Stones - Chapter 20 - by Emma Nisbet (grnfield)
Two and a half months later the six month anniversary of Daniel's death was approaching fast.
Jack made contact with Sam and Teal'c and all three booked two weeks of leave beginning the following week. This would more than cover the day itself and the week afterwards.
They planned to spend the time at Jack's cabin, just the three of them - for old times sakes. The cabin was small enough to be cosy but had plenty of land where one could wonder and have time alone if needed.
The three ex-team-mates were to meet up at Jack's house and travel the long journey to the cabin together in Jack's large truck.
Sam and Jack would share the journey between them, neither feeling confident of Teal'c's driving capability on some of the dirt tracks that wound between some of the tiny towns on the way to Minnesota.
They were aiming to arrive the morning before the six month anniversary itself. The weather was due to be mild and the journey easy, but as long as ever.
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They made good time, driving through the night so as to make the most of the time when they finally arrived. Jack had loaded the truck with provisions before they'd left Colorado Springs and it was a simple task for him to get the generator going while Teal'c unloaded. The two men insisted that Sam have a rest in the front room, as she'd driven the last leg of the journey and looked shattered.
Once they had the food unpacked, Teal'c and Jack prepared breakfast. They delivered it to Sam who had fallen asleep on the couch. She looked around in confusion before registering where she was.
She sat up, rubbed her eyes and said, "Sorry, Sir, I must have dropped off. I'll come and help you unload."
"Carter, drop the 'sir'. We're well and truly off-duty. The unloading's all done and we've made you breakfast. Well, we've made all of us breakfast but yours is here." He passed the tray to Sam and held it safely while she positioned her legs to support it.
"Thank you, both of you," she said. "Really though, you should have woken me. I could have helped."
"No need, Carter." Jack told her. "Anyway, you needed the sleep."
"I'd have been fine, Sir," she said. "…but, thank you."
Jack nodded his acknowledgement. "We'll freshen up after breakfast then we can go and see whether mother nature's done any damage to the area since I was here last. I thought a brisk hike in the woods would be an excellent way to stretch out after the journey," he suggested. "What d'ya think, T?"
"Indeed, O'Neill, I am most agreeable to this plan. The area around your secondary abode is most pleasant to observe and I am certain that the 'hike' as you call it will be a much more enjoyable experience than observing you fishing in your 'lake with no fish'." Teal'c said this mammoth speech with his usual completely straight face. He then turned and silently walked back into the kitchen.
Jack watched the back of the retreating Jaffa suspiciously before looking quizzically at Sam.
The young woman had a smirk on her face. "Don't look at me, Sir. I never know if he's joking either. I'm game though, a hike sounds great. We'll work up a good appetite for later on. I assume we're having a Jack O'Neill special barbeque tonight? That's traditional isn't it, on the first night at the cabin?"
"Sure is, Carter. Got some juicy rib-eyes in the refrigerator for tonight and some extra special marinated steaks for tomorrow evening. Going to do it in style." Jack said proudly.
"Nothing but the best for Daniel, Sir?" Sam asked.
"Absolutely, Carter," Jack agreed." I've got steaks that Daniel would have been salivating over. You remember how he was over spiced meat?"
Sam chuckled. "I sure do, Sir. He couldn't get enough of Grandma O'Neill's marinated chicken at your fourth of July celebrations the year before last. I seem to remember that he never did get you to tell him the secret ingredient?"
"Nope, can't give away the family secrets. Granny O'Neill would never forgive me, God rest her soul. Oddly enough though, that's the same marinade that's on tomorrow's steaks, so I'm glad you remembered it so well. I remember Daniel listing about every herb and spice I know trying to get me to let slip what was in it." Jack snickered, "Come to think about it, he probably reeled off a whole load of 'em that I'd never heard of as well."
Sam smiled fondly, "Yeah, I can imagine that. He'd have known them from all over the world."
"True." Jack agreed. "Anyway, I'll let you finish your breakfast. I'm going to track down T before he finishes the remaining waffle mixture. I've made enough for breakfast tomorrow but I have a feeling that a certain person may have his eye on it. Boy, he's sure got a sweet tooth on him - that one!"
Sam laughed, "He sure has, Sir. I'll not be long with this, then I'll use the bathroom and I'll be ready to go."
#
The three friends had a long walk in the forested area surrounding Jack's cabin and found several dead trees that had been blown down in recent storms.
After a quick lunch back at the cabin, they returned to the nearest fallen tree, with axes. They chopped it into manageable sized pieces to transport back to the cabin for firewood.
Once they had finally returned to the cabin they were hot, sweaty and ravenously hungry.
Jack and Teal'c allowed Sam first go at the bathroom while they stacked the firewood in orderly piles in the woodshed behind the cabin. Jack went inside when Sam came back out and left the two team-mates to light the barbeque in readiness for his return.
#
The charcoal was glowing brightly and a cheering heat greeted Jack when he stepped back out of the cabin.
"In you go, Teal'c. Water's running for ya," Jack said. "Don't take too long, I don't know about you but I've worked up quite an appetite this afternoon.
"I too also have a great desire for nourishment, O'Neill." Teal'c informed him. "Be assured, I will complete my ablutions with maximum efficiency and will return in a short time."
"You do that, T. There'll be some tasty rib-eyes with your name on waiting when you get back." Jack told him with a grin.
"I thank you, O'Neill." Teal'c said and he turned and went inside.
"So, how's things, Carter?" Jack asked as he dropped the first couple of steaks on the grill. "…and I mean really - not just the usual 'I'm fine, everything's OK' from your e-mails. Lou treating you both right?"
"Sir…" Sam began.
"Carter, I told you to quit it with the 'Sir'." Jack interrupted.
"I know, Si…Jack. But you know I can't help it - just like you never call me Sam. You always address me as Carter, whether we're on duty or off. You can't do it any more than I can," she pointed out. "Admit it."
Jack thought for a moment, "No, you're probably right. I'll try though…Sam." He added her name with a sardonic grin. "Kinda got off-subject there. I was asking you how you were getting along with Lou and the team."
"It's alright, Sir, really it is." Sam said, sounding almost convincing. "It's only been a few months but I feel like part of the team and I'm certain Teal'c feels the same way."
"Buuut?" Jack said, drawing the word out in a questioning manner.
"Well…it's…er…" Sam looked uncomfortable and fidgeted, picking at one of her fingernails.
Jack looked at her in frustration, "Spit it out, Carter, for Christ's sake."
"Sorry, Sir, it's just…well…it's not SG-1," the young woman confessed. "Si…Jack, what we had before, we knew what each other was thinking, there was an unspoken connection between us all. There was no question over who was in charge - yes Daniel used to enjoy pushing the boundaries when it was safe to do so but in the event of something big going down we all used to know our places. We'd all follow you without question…it just worked."
"But it doesn't with SG-2?" Jack asked.
"No, not in the same way…no." Sam replied. "It's like you said when we were first loaned to SG-2 - SG-1 was family. SG-2…SG-2 just…well…isn't. It's a team, it's a job, but it's nothing more - it's not my life like 'we' were. I go home at the end of a mission and something's just…well…missing. I can't really explain it…Jack, I'm sorry." Sam dropped her eyes to the ground, no longer able to meet the penetrating gaze of her former CO.
"Aw, Cart…Sam. Come 'ere." Jack reached out and dragged Sam forwards into a hug. He felt her stiffen slightly before she relaxed into it, eventually wrapping her arms around his back.
"I'm sorry, Sam," he told her. "Really I am. You should have spoken to me. Heck, I'm so far away most of the time, I can't see these things for myself." He hugged her tighter and placed a kiss on her blonde hair.
"I'm sorry too, it's just so hard," she sniffed. "I'm from a military family, I've been brought up that you don't question your CO - period. He's in charge, he's right, you're lower - live with it. Don't get me wrong, Ferretti's good at his job…but…but he's not you, Sir."
She looked up at this and he saw that her eyes were definitely holding more moisture than normal.
"That's not a bad thing, Sam," he told her, smoothing down her hair and kissing the end of her nose. "What we had with SG-1 was unique. Nothing quite like it in the whole of the SGC - hell, probably nothing quite like it in the whole of the US military, come to think of it. The thing is - it was a three piece military set, held together with civilian super-glue. When the glue fell out things started to unravel."
"We coped when he was ascended though." Sam reminded him, leaning forwards into his hold and resting her head on his shoulder.
Automatically his cheek came to rest on her soft, golden hair and he sighed softly before continuing. "Not really, someone replaced the glue with putty but it could never have been as strong. It was merely holding things together until the glue could be put back in place." He let out a large sigh now and hugged her tighter to himself. "Now the glue's gone for good, so have many of the ties holding it all together. All the bits, literally spread out across the galaxy."
By this time both of them had tears streaming down their faces. Sam pulled back slightly and Jack gently wiped the tears from her cheeks, first with one calloused thumb and then the other.
She subconsciously turned into the touch as the second thumb brushed her face.
Jack leaned forwards and placed a kiss on her forehead. When her eyes instinctively closed he moved his mouth to her temple and placed another kiss there. When he felt no resistance from the young woman he moved down her face, kissing away the tears.
He paused for a moment when he reached her mouth, silently asking permission to continue.
His question was answered a moment later when Sam brought her lips forward to meet his. They shared a tender, lingering kiss before Jack felt Sam gently pushing at his chest.
She leant back in his embrace so she could look into his eyes. "What are we doing?" she asked.
"Something we've wanted to do for a long, long time," he answered truthfully.
"But what about the regs?" she asked him, with a worried tinge in her voice.
"Think about it," he said softly. "Sam, they don't apply. I'm not in charge of you any more - heck, I'm not even based on the same planet as you most of the time. The regs aren't against us any more."
"Aren't against us any more," she repeated quietly. "You're sure?"
"Sure, I'm sure." Jack replied, leaning forwards to place a chaste kiss on her lips.
A momentary flicker of panic briefly passed across Sam's stunned face. She rapidly tried to get her thoughts in order, and her vocal cords to cooperate with her mouth. "But…" she began.
Jack interrupted. "Shhh," he said, gently kissing around her mouth, allowing her to speak if she needed to.
"Oh," she murmured, and she turned her face to his.
This was all the invitation Jack needed and he captured her lips with his own. Soon his tongue was gently probing, requesting entrance to her mouth and with a soft sigh she let him in. She wrapped her arms around his neck and slid the fingers of one hand into his short silver hair.
This was a moment that she had only dreamed about so many years before. Long, long ago she had locked it away - firmly in the realms of fantasy - believing that it would never become reality.
She didn't know if this was the start of something, or just a mutual reaction to a shared grief. They would have things to discuss later on, but for now she had this moment. Even if nothing came of it, at least she could look back and remember the day the she finally kissed Jack O'Neill.
#
Their peaceful moment was disturbed be a quietly uttered "O'Neill."
Teal'c, who had indeed had a very quick wash and freshen up, was standing a small distance behind the barbeque.
"I apologise for having to disturb you," he told them. "…but I believe that the portions of bovine animal protein are soon to become too well cooked for consumption."
The large man pointed to the grill and the well cooked steaks.
Jack looked to where the Jaffa was pointing. "Ah, damn. Good call, T."
Jack carefully extracted himself from Sam's arms. He grabbed some tongs and a plate, and deftly flipped the steaks onto the crockery. He gave them a quick once over before announcing, "Just as well everyone likes them well done. Nice save, T."
Teal'c nodded at the Colonel. "Indeed, O'Neill. I believe the two of you had your mind on other matters," he said in his usual matter-of-fact way. "Do you require me to take control of the cooking device for the rest of the evening?"
Jack felt Sam move away from behind him and heard a whispered chuckle as she pulled out a chair and sat down.
"Nah, Teal'c, we're cool," he told his large friend. "Let's eat what we've got here for the moment. I'll go and get the salad from inside."
He took the long route round the table in order to pass by Sam. He held out a hand to squeeze her shoulder as he passed and paused when she grasped his wrist.
"We OK?" he asked her.
"We're fine…Jack." she murmured, and let go of his arm so he could continue into the cabin.
Sam smiled to herself as she heard a quietly whispered, 'cool' as he turned away.
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