On Saturday morning, Trisha went to the business area of the lesbian club that she ran with her partner and lover, Sally-Anne Howe. She sat behind her computer as she started to go through the business accounts. Clattering sounds echoing through the building announced that Sally-Anne was doing a stocktaking check of alcohol that was served on the premises. The club had been running for between ten and fifteen years under the name of Chix and it had expanded from being a labour of love for her and their like-minded friends to a paying commercial proposition. Trisha was in a thoughtful mood after she'd whizzed through the accounts.
Trisha had been told that, this Saturday, a number of her oldest and dearest friends were coming on Saturday night and she loved the thought that Karen, Beth George and Alice and Jo Mills and Jane hadn't forgotten the fact that they'd first met on the dance floor at hers and Sally Anne's club and had gone on to settle down in long term relationships. Even then, they continued to spend Saturday nights dancing into the small hours partly for the pleasure, partly as a place to dress up and partly from teary eyed emotional recall of their shared past. The news gave her and Sally-Anne a jolt of optimism and their friends were assured of their place in the VIP lounge.
The two women had been running the club together for a good number of years since Nikki's original interest in the club had been bought out and the original circle of thirty-something friends had remained loyal, especially when relationships had broken down along the way and it gave the opportunity to eye up fresh talent. A younger element also patronized the club though their adherence to the club was more fickle as their sense of fashion. Both Trisha and Sally-Anne knew they couldn't ignore the financial bottom line in changing times.
There were two women whose growing absences from the club were keenly felt but on the other hand, she understood perhaps only too well why that should be. She could picture them so easily, Nikki Wade who was tall and lean with boyish cropped hair and a gentle feminine understanding and Helen Stewart, the smaller curvier Scot whose vivacious manner and equally strong convictions as Nikki were such a perfect match. She could freely admit that this was even more so than she and Nikki had been for nine years till Nikki had been imprisoned for the bizarrely serious crime of taking out the policeman who would otherwise have raped her. Oh yes, Nikki went back a very long way and what had made her feel especially guilty was that time had rushed by with the continuous effort of running their club. She'd not kept her promise to make time for keeping in touch with their adorable child as they'd promised when she and Sally-Anne had witnessed her birth. The copy of Rose's school photograph on their mantelpiece was both a symbol of their guilt and of their well-meaning intentions. It was this dilemma that made her hesitate as she studied the phone on her desk, wondering if she could pick it up and make the long-deferred connection. Her hand remained frozen in oppressive silence.
Suddenly a clattering sound interrupted the silence surrounding Trisha's indecision and Sally Anne strode actively into the room. She'd recently had her hair styled so the long dark hair which had been pulled back from her forehead now hung in a careless fringe down to her eyebrows and flowed down to her shoulders. Her neat suits had been exchanged for jeans and a T-shirt and contrasted with Trisha's blue suit. Sally-Anne immediately tuned into her partner's tense stillness and knew that she was called upon to investigate.
"What's wrong, lover of mine?" she asked very softly, placing her hands on Trisha's shoulders and lightly kissing the back of her head. It did the trick as Trisha exhaled a long sigh of relief and her swivel chair turned to face Sally so she could fully imbibe her reassuring presence. Of the two of them, Sally-Anne contributed a down to earth outlook and Trisha knew she was compelled to spit out her problems.
"This weekend is shaping up to be really special and we need Nikki and Helen to complete it. The trouble is that I could have done something about it, only I've dawdled and I'm sure I've left it too late," Trisha said, trying not to show how disconsolate she felt.
"It wouldn't harm to phone them, wouldn't it? They've never in a million years become estranged from us. It's just that we're all busy people especially with a child to bring up. You're thinking back a number of years ago when we were all involved in each other's business, usually a particularly traumatic trial and that kept us in close proximity and things have drifted in another direction. Knowing Helen in particular, they probably feel as guilty as we are," Sally-Anne said with loving reasonableness.
"So what do we do?" Trisha asked appealingly. She had mixed feelings as Sally's last observation only made her feel more guilty.
"Just make the call, Trisha. One of the four of us has to do it and it might as well be you as any of us," answered Sally-Anne slowly and persuasively.
A long pause elapsed while Trisha struggled with this dilemma, inhaling and exhaling her nervousness. She dismissed the fleeting wish for a cigarette to help her decide, having given up smoking years ago along with her smoker's cough. This was a challenge along with past challenges she'd risen to. Finally she was resolved; remembering how Nikki and Helen had been very gracious and supportive of them and memories of their contrasting voice timbres heightened her need for their good fellowship.
"Hi Nik, it's Trisha here. Thought I'd pop up out of nowhere to reconnect with old friends. I know it's been a time. Sally-Anne's sitting next to me," she found herself babbling nervously, running her free hand through her long blonde hair.
"Hey Trisha, it's really lovely to hear from you. Helen or I should have phoned you up years ago but hey, we're all still good friends, including Sally Anne," came that incredibly warm-hearted well-remembered voice, her affection overflowing the airwaves. Trisha felt a little dizzy, only being stabilized when Sally-Anne took a reassuring hold of her free hand. Nikki's voice took her back to when they were young and carefree, just starting out their independent lives in London's fast-paced city life and with the world and future at her feet.
"I'm really glad I phoned I was so nervous," stammered Trisha, endearingly to Nikki's ears while Sally-Anne continued to massage her spare hand.
"In one way, the passing time doesn't matter. What's important is that we're all together- oh yes and Rose as well," Nikki said eagerly.
Trisha realised that she had come to the crunch and, rather than carrying on with enjoyable pleasantries, she decided that she had to push ahead and come out with the invitation.
"It's lovely chatting to you but there's one thing I really wanted to do. I know it's short notice and I'm not sure what's possible but Sally-Anne and I would really love it if you and Helen could come out to Chix just like in the old days. One of those spontaneous things has happened as Karen and Beth, George and Alice and Jo Mills and Jane are all coming and we thought that you and Helen would make the evening perfect. Please say yes Nik," Trisha urged, talking at breakneck speed.
Unfortunately, this streak of enthusiasm backfired. Unknown to Trisha, her old friends had made an apparent virtue out of necessity and built up powerful homebird instincts. While they'd got past the paraphernalia of the pushchair and nappy changing phase a number of years ago, they'd become highly conscious that Rose was a developing creature in her own right who had especial need of stability and maternal responsibility. They were especially concerned that Rose wouldn't be victimised by small town attitudes because of who her parents were. They'd developed a psychological umbilical cord feeling which jarred against spontaneous actions which they'd done when they'd been a simple twosome. All these thoughts jangled up against each other inside Nikki's head and especially getting Cassie and Roisin to babysit at the last minute.
"We'd really love to come Trisha but I know we won't be able to get a last minute babysitter. It's a real shame but there you are," Nikki answered, feeling the tightness in her chest from having to act against her instincts. Trisha felt crushed by this rejection but managed to make a polite response and put down the phone.
Meanwhile, Helen had finished ironing the last of their shirts but her sharp ears had heard the conversation in the hallway and resolved to intervene. The look on Nikki's face warned Helen of what to expect.
"I suppose you think I could wave a magic wand and get a babysitter and see the rest of the gang. I'm sorry but it can't be done what with the problems Cassie and Roisin are having with Michael," said Nikki aggressively, her eyes shooting fire.
"You might be right but that's not the end of the matter. There's other ways we could see our friends," Helen answered in slow and even tones in the dimly lit hall and the stark layout. She knew that Nikki really wanted to see their old friends and needed calming down as she knew she couldn't.
"How do you mean?" Nikki asked, a puzzled frown on her face.
"I'm wary of phoning Roisin or Cassie up for the reasons you say especially as Roisin would feel guilty about saying no but it's their decision. If they can't make it, we're stuck. It doesn't stop us going over with Rose to see them or vice versa and fix things up another time. Let's face it, in these times people have busy lives and it's far too easy to let relationships and things slip. We've all got too much history over the years to ever stop being friends. You or I could phone Trisha back and suggest that. Now how does that grab you?" Helen said, articulating every syllable slowly and gently.
The smaller woman's clear and loving reasoning had its effect in unravelling the knotted thoughts and emotions that had trapped Nikki. For a number of minutes, she breathed in and out and just when she'd calmed down, Rose clattered in from the living room where she'd been doing some writing on the table.
"What's happening mums?" she asked anxiously.
"Nothing to worry about Rose. We need to make a phone call first and then we'll tell you what's going on," Nikki said in clear positive tones.
Rose calmly accepted the important thing that everything was all right between her two mums. She also knew that a promise was a promise and calmly trotted back to her own task in hand.
Nikki phoned Roisin calmly and her reaction was much as they had expected. Michael was being really obnoxious right now and, much as she and Cassie would have loved to look after Rose, it wasn't possible as they had their hands full. Helen looked on admiringly as her partner's humanity and generosity of spirit poured out gentle reassurance when she and Helen would have loved to hear a different answer. This made her dewy eyed and she put her arms round Nikki's shoulders, something that Rose peeked in on and made her smile happily to herself. Everything at home was safe and cosy.
The two women were gently hugging each other for a little while when a sharp arrow thought pricked Nikki's consciousness.
"Darling, we've forgotten all about Trisha. I must phone her back and put things right," she exclaimed into Helen's ear. The two women moved slightly apart and kissed affectionately.
"Hey Trish. I'm really sorry for the shitty way I spoke to you," Nikki said softly while she grasped the phone. On the other end of the line, Trisha and Sally-Anne had been sitting disconsolately in the office which now felt bare and chilly. When the phone rang, Trisha jumped a mile.
"That's really sweet of you. You always were honest," Trisha said tenderly.
"It's not that good news I warn you. I phoned our friend and neighbour who childminds for us but she's got teenage problems with her son so we're stuck for tonight. However, we really want to see you both so you can meet Rose and also see the rest of the gang at Chix when things settle down for childminding. All this is for real," replied Nikki
Sally-Anne saw at once how Trisha perked up and there were possibilities afoot. Her own connections with their friends went back a long while. She got to know Nikki as a valiant soul when she gave evidence at her original appeal and later found she and Helen as enjoyable company and as true friends.
"Shall we fix up a date when we can meet? We're as happy to drive over to your place as anything. You'll know that Sunday mornings are an intimate time for Sally and me so how about us coming to your place at twoish?" Trisha said with the greatest pleasure, reaching for her pen to write in her office diary which Sally thoughtfully passed over.
"That'll be great, Trish. Week on Sunday will be just fine," Nikki cordially suggested. Trisha heard Nikki give Helen a quick rundown to Helen a little distance away from the phone who grinned her agreement.
"You're really cheered us up Nik," Trisha said effusively and wrote down the details for sally's attention before signing off. All at once, their office looked purposeful and friendly after just one phone call.
On the other end of the phone, Helen scampered back into the living room to tell Rose that their oldest friends were coming over. The little girl smiled happily as she figured out that grownup company could be interesting.