The stars outside may be bright but the lights inside the Castle have dimmed to simulate nighttime. By a guess, it's probably quarter past two in the morning as Matt strolls the corridors, socks making muffled scraping sounds against the metal floor. He trails his fingers over the walls; just beneath the ceiling hand rainbow coloured bulbs that Lance and Pidge put up just a few days before.
Both of them are doing what they can to keep their Earth life with them, though in their own ways: Pidge accepts alien colonies, accepts the different cultures she comes across and tries to mesh her own traditions with theirs; she melts into everything she finds, mixing them together to make her own sort of customs. Lance, on the other hand, sticks firmly to his heritage. He celebrates his traditions how they always have been - yes he triest the Altean way of things, but in the end he always picks Earth life, sticking staunchly to what he was raised in. Interesting to see the different ways they keep their families with them.
A melancholy feeling washes over Matt. He had been so overjoyed to be a part of the Kerberos Mission, to discover new frontiers for man firsthand; though the thought of being off Earth for so long was daunting, he was ready for it, he was ready to explore and bring home wonders of the galaxy. But that isn't what happened, and he's been away from Earth for far too long. It felt nice to finally have someone to blame - Zarkon and his Galra - but that doesn't change anything. It doesn't change that he can't remember what grass smells like after a long rainshower, or the exact colours of the sunrise through his bedroom window, or the way his mother's cooking smells. He tries as hard as Pidge and Lance do, but the fact is his old lifestyle is fading. He isn't the dork that used to study too hard and supported his little sister through everything; no, now he is a commander in a rebellion against a thousand-of-years-old empire. Everything's changed, he's changed, and he is starting to forget who he used to be.
He wanders the hall, stopping at a window to stare out into the velvet blackness dotted by shining silver stars and wonders if one of those faded specs in the distance might be Earth.
Matt turns at the sound of soft footsteps, trained to be quiet, and see Shiro coming down the hall. "Couldn't sleep either?" asks Shiro, his voice raspy as if he had just woken up.
Glancing back at the expanse of space, Matt shakes his head. "Just feeling a little homesick." His voice is soft, afraid to break the silence overhanging them.
"I understand." They fall into step by each other as they walk down the halls, backs of their hands brushing."It's been so long. If it really were December, the snow would have started a while ago in Kitami." A faint smile spreads over Shiro's lips. "I miss warm sake, Hunk tried to make it once, but he's never had it so it didn't turn out."
Matt nods and lets it grow quiet again, letting Shiro lead them. Pidge and Lance really went all out with decorating, putting whatever lights they could find through the halls, red flowers with seven large petals in lieu of poinsettias, and chains of paper snowflakes across every doorway. Not an inch of the Castle wasn't Christmas-ified.
"I miss it," he whispers after a long time. "And… And I'm starting to forget it."
Shiro casts a glance at him before finally entwining their hands - cold metal digits against his skin, another reminder that Matt was slowly losing what he loved. "I know," Shiro says, his voice sombre. "Little things…. They fade, slowly, but it hurts. But even if you can't remember every little thing about Earth, that doesn't change who you are. It doesn't change where you come from. You still like pizza and make fun of calzones, you still think every sky should be blue, you still make fun of Americans first, even though that's pretty much just making fun of yourself." he chuckles. "You may not remember all the details, and it's okay to be sad about that, but you still know the important stuff: all your love for your home, and your family and friends. That's what matters, not remembering how to get to the grocery store from your house."
There's still that ache in the pit of his stomach but it is eased slightly; Shiro is right, there's no changing the important stuff, even if it is a little faded. "Thanks, Shiro." Matt says softly, offering him a smile.
Shiro squeezes his hand. "Of course, that's what I'm here for." he says, his gentle expression morphing into a smirk as he points to the ceiling with his free hand. "But I think now you owe me something."
Matt follows the gesture and laughs. It may just be some mismatched green leaves and white berries tied together with a ribbon, but the meaning of the faux mistletoe is still more than obvious. "You brought me here on purpose, didn't you?"
Shiro doesn't even have the audacity to look slightly abashed as he wraps his arms around the smaller man's waist. "Can you blame me?"
He may roll his eyes but Matt still presses onto the balls of his feet to brush their lips together as a hand comes to rest on Shiro's cheek. "Merry Christmas,"
Shiro presses a kiss to his forehead. "Merry Christmas, Matt. Now come on, lets get to bed."