Glee rehearsal was over, and I was packing my bags when I felt him standing behind me. Don't ask me how I knew, I just did. I can always feel him when he is near me. Putting my music folder in my bag, I stood up to walk past Sam. I hadn't looked at him, spoken to him, or done anything that would resemble friendship since we ended us, and I was filled with too much guilt and anger to change that after only three weeks.

Just as I reached his side, he caught my hand. I pulled my hand not wanting contact with him only to be met with resistance. Sam gripped my hand tighter refusing to let it go. Yeah I'm a big girl, but despite what some people think, I'm not stronger than a guy, especially a buff, physically fit guy. So I stopped. I had had enough fighting with Sam; the one time was more than enough. However, I didn't say I was willing to give in; therefore, I didn't look at him or acknowledge his presence. But Sam could be a little stubborn when he wanted to be, and turned me to face him.

Facing him, the animosity I held toward him lessened with one look in his eyes.

"Mercedes, I can't do this."

"What can't you do Sam?" I was defeated. I was falling into his grasp again, and there was nothing I could or wanted to do about it.

"This distance. Us not…talking. I don't know if we can be what we were or even if we are ready to go back to that."

"What are you saying Sam?"

"I want you back. I don't know if I want you as my girlfriend right now…you hurt me. You know?"

"I know, and I am really sorry about that." I spoke low embarrassed at how I had acted.

"Yeah, look, I'm not saying that I'm ready to go public. I don't think I'm even ready to be your boyfriend again because I'm still kind of mad at you, but I need you in my life. If that makes any sense."

"It doesn't make a lot of sense, but I follow you." After dating (and here again I use the term loosely) for a while, it wasn't hard for me to keep up with his nonsense because somehow to me it made perfect sense.

"I miss you Mercedes, and I just want to be around you again. I don't know where we're going but I want you around. I love you, Bambs."

Here it was, my opportunity to assert myself in this relationship or whatever it was going to be or not be, but I decided to say nothing. I missed him too. "I know Sam. I love you too."

That night he came over and we talked.

nakala