~ Michi ~
I watched Sawa confessing to Kent while partially hidden behind a tree, fully knowing how creepy it was but unable to care. I was just too worried to give heed to what was socially acceptable. The worry itself was both unselfish and completely conceited. I was worried for Sawa's feelings if Kent rejected her, but I was also worried about myself. What if he ended up saying yes?
"Argh!" I shook my head, dragging my hands through unpinned hair. I was a mess and it felt beyond stupid, so I left where I was before I could make a further fool of myself. At the very least Sawa deserved privacy.
I settled myself on a park bench and gazed glumly up at the fireworks. They were pretty, but I couldn't bring myself to be excited about them.
"… You've sighed no less then fourteen times. Are you quite alright?"
"Eh… Hey, Kent…" I sighed again after looking behind me towards the voice. "I'm fine…" His presence slowly registered, and then I leaped up with a brief screech. "Kent! Wh-wh… What are you doing here?"
"All employees were invited to come and see the fireworks. Hence, my presence should not come as a surprise."
"No, I mean here. Next to me and this bench. Like, right now. Here."
"Ah. I saw you sitting, and you looked… lonely. Why don't you join the others?" He skirted around the bench to sit, so I plopped back down too.
"I will in a minute. I guess."
"What's the matter? Do you feel like discussing it with me?"
I shook my head. "S-so… How'd it go…?" I asked quietly.
"What are you referring to?"
"What do you think I'm talking about, dumbass?" I snapped. "Er… Sorry. I'm a little… on edge right now."
"… I told Sawa that I would think about it."
"Ah." Shit. Damn it all to hell. Fuuuuuck. "Okay. But don't keep her waiting for too long, okay?" I hopped to my feet. "That'd be rude. Well, I'll see you later."
"Michi…" He grasped my sleeve gently. "Are you truly alright?"
"Fine!" I forced a laugh. "Fine. I'm just… gonna go light a sparkler." I tugged away and fled. Geez… It just had to be him. It just had to be Sawa.
With that I crouched in a sad little huddle in front of a bush and just watched the sparkler in my hands fizzle.
"Hey…" Sawa bent next to me after tapping my shoulder. "Why are you over here moping?"
"I'm not moping," I muttered.
"You totally are." She paused. "He told me he'd think about it…"
"Yeah."
"Don't you think that's basically the same thing as a rejection?" She shifted from foot to foot.
"Not necessarily. He's just slow, you know that."
Sawa frowned at me. "Come on, stop pulling this, Michi…"
"Huh? What am I pulling, exactly?" I turned to her and raised my eyebrows.
"You're acting like this because you want to confess to him too."
"No, I'm not, and no, I don't. I mean, come on…"
"You don't have to worry about me, you know," Sawa said quietly. "I already told you that it won't affect our friendship."
"I know, I know. I'm just trying not to be selfish here, okay? It's fine. You be the one not to worry about me."
"I mean, that might be possible if you weren't acting like this. It's honestly creeping me out."
"I'm sad, okay?" I pouted.
Sawa laughed. "So just do it! I'm not going to be upset, no matter what happens."
"I don't want you to be just not upset. I want you to be happy."
"Still. I'd like that for you too." She sighed. "I think you guys have a real chance. For like… something serious. Really, really serious. I don't know if he'll be that serious about me."
"Geez… I'm sorry, Sawa."
"Don't be." She shook her head. "Just do it, okay? It's like ripping off a band-aid."
"Let's laugh about how we're acting right now when we're like seventy, okay?" I laughed.
"Sure thing." She pushed me forward after I'd stood. "Go! Go go go!"
"I'm going!" I laughed, then went on a hunt for Kent. I searched most of the park in a frenzy before finding him at the same park bench where I'd left him. "Seriously…?" I huffed as I sat back down next to him. "Why are you still here?"
"After you left I realized that this was a good place to think quietly."
"Well good, because I'm going to give you something else to think about."
"Oh?" He looked at me quizzically.
"… Huh. Well… How to put this?" I chewed on my lip for a few moments. "I'd like to be able to talk to you about everything."
"I assure you that you can. I'll always listen."
"But like, forever. And at any time."
"Excuse me?" His brow wrinkled with confusion.
"You, you're just… You're fascinating, and you're smart, and so much fun to talk to… And I really like you. So… Will you go out with me?" I turned my gaze to see his shocked expression before going back to staring up at the sky. Silence was only broken between us by the blazing booms of fireworks for a while.
"I'd…" Kent finally spoke up with a slow, still surprised murmur. "I would appreciate some time to consider."
"O-oh. Yeah, sure…" Sawa had been right. It felt akin to a rejection, that request. But still, what else could I do? I'd want the same thing if I received two confessions in one night.
"Thank you."
"Yeah… Well… Later, then." I spent the rest of the night basically ranting with Mine about the general problems with having any romantic feelings ever, and we concluded by promising to buy a cake and watch movies in complete solitude the following day.
"I'll text you later!" Mine waved to me as we all departed at the end of the night. "About what kind of cake we should get!"
"Okaaaay!" I waved back, greatly looking forward to it.
"Ahem…" Kent floated up beside me, and I jumped.
"Geez… What is it?" I couldn't help but pout a little.
"I assumed we would be walking home together… Is it inappropriate?"
"No, it's fine." It wasn't as if I'd turn down spending time with him.
He looked immensely relieved. "Then…" He ambled beside me, staring at our feet as he took care to match my stride. "Did you enjoy yourself tonight?"
"I mean… Yeah. Sure."
"… I am sorry, for what it's worth."
"Come on. Don't be worried, okay? No matter what I'll still treat you the same."
"I see. Thank you." He paused. "Why me, exactly…?"
"Huh?"
"Why me instead of Ikkyu or someone else?"
"Well because… Hey, hey, lemme tell you. I just wanna know what you're gonna look llike when you're old. Like, super old. With your glasses, and I bet you'll wear green socks all the time, and you'll still sound smart even when you're past the age of logic… What?" I looked at him when he let out a few quiet noises and put a hand to his mouth.
After a few moments he dropped his hand and started laughing in earnest. "H-Honestly? Is that your reason?"
"One of them… Geez, stop laughing!" I hit his shoulder.
"You never cease to surprise me." His smile faded into a frown. "I'm in a situation where regardless of what action I make someone is going to get hurt. I can't help but be indecisive, trying to find the solution that results in the least amount of offense."
"I'm sorry," I murmured. "But I don't know what to tell you. It's sort of all on your shoulders at this point. But," I added, "The way that you think like this is another reason why I like you so much."
"Hm?"
"You're just so nice. People don't give niceness enough credit, you know? But I love it about you."
"I… I see." He pushed his glasses up on his nose and blushed while opening the front entrance to the apartment building. "Let's use the elevator… You've been tottering a bit."
"Eh…" Mine had insisted on tall shoes for tonight. I'd thought I was doing well, but apparently not. "They just hurt a little bit. I'm fine for the stairs." It was only the second floor, after all.
"I insist."
"Fine…" I looked up at him as he hummed along to the instrumental tune that played softly through hidden speakers in the elevator. "Hehe… Hey, come down here. I wanna tell you something."
"Yes?" He bent down to my level and flinched when I snuck a kiss to his cheek. "… But what did you want to tell me?" He gave me a confused look.
"Nothing at all!" I laughed. "I just wanted to kiss you since you were being so cute."
"Er…" His face turned red again and he coughed as he straightened back up.
"You're so freakishly tall… But maybe I'm just short," I mused as I fished for my keys once the elevator dinged on the correct floor.
"You are of average height." Kent walked me to the door, still fidgeting slightly out of shyness.
"If you say so." Once I nudged the door open I turned to him. "Well… Goodnight. Thanks for walking me back."
"Of course."
"I'll, uh… talk to you later. And, no pressure to answer too fast, okay? Don't worry. I know that you want to give it so much thought simply out of kindness, so… Yeah." I smiled reassuringly.
"Thank you, Michi." He smiled back warmly. "Rest well tonight."
I waved and shut the door behind me. I just wanted to hug him so much it felt ridiculous. "… Huh?" I looked around. For a moment it had felt like I wasn't alone in the apartment, but that was stupid. Of course I was alone. The feeling hadn't even been frightening, but comforting. Still, it was strange. "So I had a pretty good day…" I murmured, feeling more than stupid but doing it anyways. "Um… I really hope he says yes. Even if that's selfish, I…" I cleared my throat. "I love him, I think… At least it's very very strong like…" Damn, what was I even doing? Maybe I was just tired, or lonely, or a bit sad about how the confession had gone. "Well… Goodnight." Even so, it felt better to talk through the day; natural, as if it was just what I was supposed to do or used to. It seemed like I didn't understand much these days.
I heaved a sigh and pulled out my phone to text Mine:
Carrot cake. Or Boston Crème cake. Or both? Yeah let's just do both.
She texted back within a minute:
Yes! I want to order pizza first though.
I grinned and typed:
You are a girl after my own heart. See you tomorrow!
One last ping came from her before I shut my phone off:
So excited!
"Eh…" I sighed and curled up in a ball. "At least pizza is there for me, right…?" Who the hell was I talking to? It had to be myself, but… "Whatever."
The next day I woke up early and couldn't get back to sleep from excitement. That being said I put on my most comfortable clothes and went ahead to get the cakes before heading to Mine's house. She answered the door to find me holding out the bag. "Hey. I got the goods." I grinned.
"Haha! You're here early."
"Michi!" Sawa bounded up behind her and waved at me.
"Why're you here?" I asked, surprised.
"Well…"
"She needed some cheering up after last night," Mine explained.
"Y-yeah. So… How'd it go?" Sawa asked nervously.
"Eh… He said to give him some time to think."
"Oh… So, both of us got told the same thing."
"Yep." We started laughing and hugged each other.
"Am I missing something here?" Mine looked between us.
"Yeah, we both confessed to Kent last night and he said he needed time to think." I shrugged.
"Wha… Seriously?! Why am I just finding this out now! That guy… He should be so lucky! And then he can't even… Ahhhh!" Mine pulled at her hair, feeling our frustration secondhand.
"Hence the cake." I promptly cut myself a slice of each kind and munched while Sawa and Mine hashed out pizza toppings and what movie to watch first. "You guys should hurry before I just eat all of this by myself…" I seemed to be more upset about it than I'd first thought.
"No you don't!" Mine made herself a plate while glaring at me. "You'd better leave some for me…"
"I don't know if I want to watch a romantic comedy right now… Will it cheer me up or will it make me more depressed?" Sawa frowned.
"We could play one and if I punch the TV then we'll know it wasn't a good idea," I suggested.
"Neither of those things are good ideas," Mine sighed. "Executive decision." She picked up a film about a war between vampires and werewolves. "Time for some good old-fashioned violence to make us feel better."
"Let's do this!" I cheered. I was able to take my thoughts off him, mostly. The three of us girls spent the rest of the day and well into the evening within our food-based camaraderie until Mine started getting tired around ten at night.
"I guess I should go…" I stretched and frowned, hoping the loneliness wouldn't come back once I was at home and alone.
"Will you be alright by yourself?" Mine asked. "You could spend the night if you want."
"Nah, I don't have anything with me… It's cool. I'll keep my phone out just in case, okay?"
"Alright… Stay safe on your way back." They waved as I exited, graciously leaving them with what remained of the cakes.
"… Fine!" I dialed on my phone after walking less than a block. "Yo!"
"Michi?" Kent said my name slowly. "Why are you calling me this late? If you need anything you know you can simply come to see me."
"I'm walking back from Mine's house. Wanted someone to talk to 'cuz I just left and I'm bored already. That okay?"
He was silent for a while. "Please stay exactly where you are until I get there."
"Wait, what? Hey!" I stared at the phone as he hung up. "Seriously…?" Wait. Wait. I wasn't even dressed cutely today. Was there cake on my face? There was probably cake on my face. "Shiiiiit…" I waited in paranoia until I saw Kent running towards me. "… You, uh… You have a car, right?" I raised my eyebrows. "Why'd you run all the way over here?"
He held up a finger as he caught his breath. "I may have… panicked… slightly," he huffed. "Ever… so… slightly."
"Oh, come on. You didn't need to worry about a thing."
"I can't help it." He took my hand and grasped it tightly. "I can't help it when you are concerned."
"Oh, come on…" I mumbled again, embarrassed now. "You know I can handle myself."
"I'm aware, but that still doesn't comfort me enough." He tugged on my arm slightly before letting go. "Let me escort you home."
"It's not as if you're giving me a choice in the matter," I muttered, trying to hide how pleased I was.
"So… What brought you to Mine's residence today?"
"That's…" It was his fault, basically… "Just a girl's day. Mine and Sawa are having a sleepover, but I didn't bring any clothes so I just decided to go home. I kind of like having my own bubble to myself anyways. Wait, how'd you know where Mine lives?"
"I've dropped Sawa off here after tutoring sessions. I know where both of them live."
"Oh… Yay." And there came another bout of irrational jealousy.
"Your relationship is amicable, then? You and Sawa?"
"Well duh. We're best friends. It's totally cool."
"I'm glad…"
"Hey…" I peered up at him. "Did you not sleep well?"
"How could you tell?"
"Your eyes just look strained."
"I was deeply immersed in thought and lost track of time, so…" He cleared his throat. "But it's really not an issue."
"Ah… So you really were giving it a lot of thought, huh? Sawa and I."
"Of course… I respect the both of you and this deserves proper consideration." He frowned.
"It wasn't the idea here to make you upset, you know." Now I felt bad. "You're almost too sweet." I bumped my shoulder against his arm. "Don't go losing sleep over it."
"I am a ridiculous man," Kent muttered.
"Oh, come on. Don't be hard on yourself."
"No, I'm simply being honest. My choice was obvious from the start, but I've just been avoiding it because I don't want to hurt anyone. It needs to be done either way in the end, so I should get to business. Isn't that right?"
"I mean, I can't tell you what to do… But you're taking a mature stance on this." I couldn't help but chuckle. It was just so like him.
"… I thought you would at least react to what I said…"
"I-I mean, of course I heard you… Your choice is obvious, huh…?" It made me panic instantly. He's spent a lot more time with Sawa than with me, and Kent and I hadn't even been friends until recently, much less bringing the idea of dating into the equation. "C-cool."
"Y-yes." He reached out to hook his pinkie around mine, wrapping my hand up in his when I didn't pull away. "I… Well…"
"Just say it! I'm freaking out…" I laughed nervously.
"I-I love you very much, Michi."
"S-so, it's me?" It was obvious from what he had just said, but part of me was still in disbelief.
"Yes." He fiddled with his glasses nervously.
"Yay!" I jumped up and threw my arms around his neck, waving my legs in the air as he stumbled and put his arms around my back. "Thanks, Kent…"
"Y-you're welcome…" He mumbled as he awkwardly bent to plant my feet back on the ground.
"You're way too tall." I hopped up to swipe at his hair, trying to ruffle it.
"I'm sorry?"
"Hehe." I took his hand again, giddy. "Let's get home."
"Please refrain from walking alone at night on all future occasions," Kent murmured.
"I will, if it makes you worry that much."
He blushed. "It does."
"Did you know that I was in both judo and kendo club in high school?"
"Not both… I knew one."
"I am a beast, sir. I just don't look it."
"Even so." Kent sighed, then cleared his throat and glanced down at me shyly. "It's a strange thought, isn't it?"
"What is?"
"Living so close to you."
"What, you're still not used to it?"
"No, it's just… different now. Living in such close proximity to…" He looked away to mumble. "My girlfriend."
"Oh…" I laughed. "I didn't realize you were this shy… It makes me nervous too."
"Did I ever apologize?" He asked quietly.
"For what?"
"For the night I was intoxicated."
"Ohh… That." I shrugged. "It was certainly different." Not that I'd hated it or anything.
"I am sorry for my untoward behavior." His mixed seriousness and shyness made his face look slightly puppyish.
"Oh, come on… You're too cute." I got the urge to kiss his cheek again but the height difference was too much. "It's fine. Seriously. I know you were just… letting off some steam, so to speak."
"That still doesn't excuse it. I didn't have your permission."
"You have old-fashioned values, huh?" It was kind of nice in its own way.
"I don't see them as outdated, just… rarer, these days."
"That's definitely true." I bit back a laugh as he made sure to open the door to the apartment building for me. "… Walk me to my door?" Really I just didn't want to part with him yet.
"Of course." He trailed behind me up the stairs and to the corner of the hall.
I leaned against my door reluctantly. "Well… Thanks."
"Rest well, Michi." He dipped his head and spun around.
"H-hey!" I took a few steps towards him. "Can I have a goodnight kiss?"
He froze and then turned back around before approaching me stiffly. "In that case, please close your eyes," he mumbled.
I did so, standing on my tiptoes for good measure. I felt his fingers wrap around my upper arms before he pushed his lips on mine for just a second before pulling away.
"Was that satisfactory?" He murmured, breath warm on my face.
I dropped back onto my heels. "Yeah." Strangely enough, the purity of all his actions warmed my heart enough to make any small gesture feel significant. The embarrassing thought made me blush and take a step back. "Geez… G-goodnight, then."
He smiled faintly. "Once again, rest well."
"You too." I went back into my apartment and sighed. "So… I have a boyfriend now." No response from the emptiness. "That's... an embarrassing word, isn't it?" I still couldn't help but laugh at the whole situation.
No response.
"Hey, do I need therapy or something?" I muttered as I went to the freezer and pulled out a tub of ice cream to thaw some. "It's whatever." Nothing but some temporary loneliness.
I was knocked away from these thoughts by the pinging of my phone as I sat in bed eating ice cream pensively. It read:
Goodnight.
I laughed and texted back:
Kent you already told me goodnight
It pinged a few minutes later:
I was under the impression that a goodnight text was customary.
I sent one final message:
You're a dork. I'm going to bed.
As long as I had this, the loneliness would never catch up to me.
~ First Date ~
A gentle tap came at my door, and I ended up accidentally stabbing myself from surprise despite the fact that I probably shouldn't have been all that shocked.
"Ehhh!" I withdrew a small needle from my finger and answered the door glaring balefully with my digit in my mouth.
Kent blinked at me. "Are you quite alright?"
"Yeah… Just poked myself sewing." I wiped my hand on my shorts. "What's up?"
He ran a hand through his hair while the other hand rummaged in his pocket. "Here you are. I'd forgotten to give this to you in the excitement."
I peered at the small square of paper he offered. "A business card?"
"Yes. You remember the party I took you to? The one where you… made quite the splash, so to speak?"
"Well, yeah," I snickered. "Kind of hard to forget."
"Well, during the spectacle a woman took an interest in what you were wearing and gave my mother her business card to get back to you. My mother giving this to me to deliver to you… She stated that this was her way of becoming even for what you did to help mend things slightly."
"Ah." I frowned and inspected it. "So, what… I just… call her?"
"That is the idea, yes."
"… No way."
"What? Why not?" He frowned and tilted his head, confused.
"I'm just… not good at associating with people from that… circle. You know that… Thanks anyways."
"Will you just give it some thought? It has the potential to be quite lucrative for you."
"Oh, please…" I muttered, starting to feel guilty from his hopeful expression. He had gone to the trouble to get this to me, after all… "I-I'll call, then."
His face lit up and he offered a small smile. "I'm glad, Michi."
"Sure…" I sighed heavily when he began to look at me expectantly. "Fine…" With that I pulled my phone out and dialed number by agonizing number slowly until I was forced to hit the call button.
"Hello?"
"Hi, is this…" I peered at the card. "Junko Ashido?"
"This is she. May I ask whom I am speaking to?"
"Uh, yeah. I'm Michi Ohayashi… An acquaintance of, uh…"
"Oh, yes. I was hoping my card would make its way to you. Let me lay out the terms simply. I think you have talent as a designer. If you'd like to take advantage of this opportunity, then show me that you can do even more that what I saw you wearing the night of the party. Show me, say, a twelve-piece collection."
"Twelve… collection…" What. Whaaaat. Damn.
"So? What'll it be?"
The way she said it like a challenge snapped me out of it. "Alright, bring it on."
"Excellent. I'd prefer something by the end of the month, assuming you already have some pieces ready."
"End of the month… Yeah, that's doable." Assuming I used a lot of what I already had, of course.
"Good. You have my email, correct?"
"Yeah, it's on the card…"
"Contact me via that medium to make any future appointments, then. I look forward to hearing from you."
I didn't have time to say anything before the phone clicked. "Oooookay."
Kent blinked at me. "So?"
"She wants twelve garments by the end of the month, thematically organized into a collection."
"Can you do that?"
"Yeah, but I won't have much time for anything else between sewing and work." I frowned up at him. "And I do mean that."
"You're referring to the two of us?"
"Yeah… Sorry."
"It's fine. I understand completely that there are times when a person has to throw themselves into their work. Just… You'll let me know if there is anything I can do to help?"
"Yeah. Thank you." I hugged him tightly. "Geez, I don't even know where to start… But I do need to get my thoughts together. So…"
"I understand. I'll leave you to it."
"Thanks." I took a deep breath once he was gone. We'd barely started dating and he was doing amazing things for me already. I'd have to make it up to him later. But, emphasis on the later. I basically spent the rest of the month in my apartment when I wasn't at work, sewing things together and tearing them apart, going through my old stuff and trying to make something worthy for this mysterious woman who was trying to afford me a chance I had never thought I'd get.
Towards the end of this cycle I received a knock on my apartment door. "Hyaaah!" I ran to it and threw it open violently. "What?!"
Kent raised a hand in greeting. "Good day, Michi."
"Hold on!" I ran to get my phone, tapping on it before going back to the door. "Look at this!"
"It's our text messages," Kent observed.
"The date, look at the date!"
"Eight days ago since your last message."
"I am a terrible girlfriend!" He'd still sent me a goodnight text, no matter what.
His eyes widened. "No, not at all."
"Ahh, don't try to comfort me… I can even be bothered to text you…"
"That's part of why I came to see you in person. Also, here." He held out a bag. "Lunch. I've noticed that you skip meals when you've become too deeply involved in your tasks."
"S-sorry. I'm really sorry. I just… I'm so close! So freaking close."
"That leads me to the third reason I've come." He showed me the display on his own phone. "Junko Ashido emailed me because you've apparently been unresponsive in your own email… Read."
"Eh… Has been unresponsive, blah blah blah… Holding a party, would like to see samples… Oh, that's tonight… Okay… Wait, what?"
"In short, would you like to come out with me tonight? Miss Ashido will be at the party, and my parents as well… The latter wasn't worth mentioning, I suppose. But, you could use a chance to get out of the apartment."
"O-Okay… The email says I should bring maybe three to six sample pieces… Can we pack those in your car?"
"Of course."
I sighed and smiled at him helplessly. "You're always doing stuff for me. I really appreciate you. Please don't think I don't."
"I've never thought that. I told you from the beginning that I understood, didn't I?"
"But still. I'll… try harder."
He smiled. "Alright."
"Now let's do this!" I scrambled around the apartment, getting things together. "Okay, let's go."
"Michi… Not to be rude but, what about your attire?"
"Eh?" At that point I realized that I couldn't remember the last time I showered probably because I hadn't even slept for two days and I felt like a big ball of scum. "Excuse me, pardon me, give me like half an hour…"
I hurriedly pinned my hair up with red rosettes after scrubbing down with inhuman fervor and was surprised by a dress laying across my bed when I emerged. It was simple but not terrible in my opinion, a dark gray knee-length with no sleeves and a plunging neckline with a tie at the waist. "Hey, Kent?" I walked out while wrapping myself in a transparent cream-colored shawl. "Did you do this?"
He blushed from his place waiting on my couch. "I… like that dress very much. It's one of my favorites that you've made, so I thought that the best way for you to show it to Miss Ashido would be to wear it yourself… I think. And since your other pieces are ostentatious, in a good way, you should show your simpler tastes… I can't seem to stop talking. Sorry."
I laughed. "You're the cutest… Just the best." I bent down in front of him. "Um… Can I kiss you?"
"What?" He blushed, averting his eyes downward and then turning redder before looking up at the ceiling.
I took the opportunity to kiss and then nuzzle his neck. "Thanks so much."
He took my shoulders and pushed me back so he could stand up. "Ahem…" He adjusted his glasses and drew his arm across his face as if his blush was erasable. "We should depart soon."
"Right." I followed him out, smiling to myself when we got into the elevator. "Is this our first date?"
"Didn't we go on one before?"
"Yeah, but we weren't officially together yet. Is this, you know… Our first date-date."
"I suppose so, if you put it that way. Belated, isn't it?"
"I'll take you out on a hundred dates if you want." I squeezed his hand. I really did just want to be a girlfriend worthy of him.
"Tomorrow, then. A date with just the two of us," Kent mumbled.
I leaned against his shoulder. "Okay." Then we piled into the car and drove to the same place where, incidentally, I had first kissed him smack dab in the middle of an event his parents had been holding. Good times.
"You've been tapping away at your phone… What has Miss Ashido been saying?" Kent glanced at me.
"She says she wants to meet me and chat before she comes to see the samples… Is she sizing me up or something?"
"Quite possibly. She's taking quite a chance on you, having given you that living stipend while you completed your work."
"I know. I could buy like, a ton of ramen with it." I took a deep breath. "Everything's okay? I look like I'll blend in."
"You're going to stand out in the best of ways." He offered his arm and I took it, once more pressing to his side for warmth and the stability of his solid presence. "That said, please stay by my side."
"Of course I will. No need to worry."
"At least be clear that you're taken…" He almost whispered as he kissed the top of my head.
"I can be very, very clear if you want. Care for a demonstration?"
"You're liable to give me a heart attack before I'm fifty, Michi."
"A heart attack in the best of ways?"
Kent shook his head, trying not to smile. "There she is."
Junko Ashido was standing next to the fountain, a tall glass of alcohol in a gloved hand. She wore bright red lipstick and round glasses, a bright silver dress hugging a full figure. Blonde curls were piled atop her head, elegant in their messiness. A furred shawl swished on the ground as she spotted us and parted the crowd effortlessly in sparkling pink heels.
"It's good to see you in person again." She shook my hand firmly and clapped Kent on the back. "Finally got a good woman, huh? Not bad, kid. Not bad at all. You know lots of people were starting to think you were on a different swingset, so to speak."
"Uh, well," Kent stuttered before he cleared his throat. "Thank you."
"And by swingset I mean lot of us were beginning to think he was gay. But who wouldn't go gay for that friend of his? I mean, one could do far worse."
"We both got what you meant the first time. And you're talking about Ikki? He's not so bad, I guess." I shrugged. "… Actually, that would make some beautiful yaoi."
Junko laughed. "I see you still don't have a filter. I like that! For better or worse at least it makes things interesting. Well, let's see them." She marched off towards the outside.
"Oh man… Can you let me do this alone?" I looked up at Kent pleadingly. "I don't want to cut you out of this, but…"
"I understand." He smiled gently. "You want to see this through all on your own efforts."
I jumped up to hug his neck. "I love you." Then I ran out after Junko, almost unable to breathe with anticipation.
An hour later I came back in to see Kent pacing the back wall. Once he noticed me he bounded to me almost like a puppy who'd found its owner again, grabbing my arms and looking at me intently. "What happened? How did it go?"
"Well, Junko had some pointers on the pieces but she seemed to like them. Then she just wanted to talk about life. My life, and what I want for the future. She noticed that I have a tendency to go grand, and we sort of decided… Well…" I started smiling, unable to contain my joy.
"Michi, just tell me already!"
"She offered me a job. She wants me to do a line of wedding dresses."
Kent stared at me for a few seconds before letting out a yell and grabbing me, spinning me in a tight hug. "I knew it. I absolutely knew it," he whispered into my hair. "You're so amazing… I love you too."
"You're the best boyfriend in the history of the world," I said after he put me back down. "So… Are we staying, or…?"
"I suppose we'll have to stay for a moment." Kent's expression turned neutral and I followed his gaze to see his parents approaching us.
"Fucking awesome," I muttered.
"Mother, Father. Good evening." Kent put his arm tightly around my waist and I blushed at his fingers digging so hard into my hip.
"Congratulations." Kent's mom dipped her head. "Miss Ashido sent me pictures of your work. I was… fairly impressed."
"Thank you." I nodded, knowing that she was making an honest effort to be cordial. They loved their son and were trying harder to be normal for him, I knew, treat him better and look past their own business interests. They just hated his choice in girlfriend.
"So, son… How long has this fling been going on again?" His father asked.
"I won't dignify that with a proper answer." Kent frowned. "I won't ask for your approval, but I expect your manners."
"It was only a jest, son. And yes, congratulations to you, Miss Ohayashi. Have a good rest of the night, then."
I sighed once they were gone. "They, uh… They won't ever like me, will they?"
"I'm not sure," Kent said honestly. "Shall we leave, then?"
"Huh? You want to?"
"Let's have our date tonight. I'd rather not wait for tomorrow."
"I thought coming here was a date."
"Not truly. Not for us. Come." He took my hand and marched outside, me following willingly but without a clue. "Wait here." He stopped into a store for a moment and came out slipping a bag into his jacket.
"Should I be scared?" I smiled.
"Of course not." He led me to the park where we had all attended the fireworks festival as employees of the café.
"It feels like forever ago the last time I was here," I sighed, smoothing my dress underneath me before sitting on a bench.
Kent fished around in his jacket and withdrew a box of sparklers and a lighter. "I thought about it, how I may have ruined that night for you."
"No, that's not true..."
"Wrong."
"Did you just… use my own thing against me?"
"I know well enough now to understand that a girl wants an answer immediately when she confesses. And I knew the instant you did that I wanted to be with you. I'm sorry for hesitating." He handed me a sparkler. "I'd rather have you remember that night as a good one than one filled with stress."
"It is a good memory for me. I finally got to say how I felt. Sure, it was stressful… But it felt good to tell you."
"Well… To another good memory, then."
I put my head on his shoulder as I watched the sparkler fizzle out. "It's kind of like watching a shooting star fall down in slow motion."
"It's more like aluminum, charcoal, potassium nitrate, and nitrocellulose."
"… Please stop." I laughed and stood up to stretch and then do a few spins, watching the light blur in my vision until it disappeared. "You know…" I got my balance back, giggling. "It's always been enough for me to just sit and talk with you. I'd like to be able to be like this forever."
Kent stood, dropping his finished sparkler on the ground and coming close to me. He bent down and put his hands gently to my cheeks. "I adore you," he murmured, his mouth brushing mine. "I like you. I love you. I treasure you absolutely…" Between each statement he gave another small and sweet kiss until I stood on my tiptoes and pulled on his shoulders to keep him there.
"Hey," I breathed when I finally let him go. "I don't want to leave your side tonight."
His eyes widened and his whole face flushed red. "I, erm…"
"J-just… being in the same apartment is fine. If you don't mind, but if you don't want to that's also fine. Heh." I laughed awkwardly.
"No… It's been a while since you came up to my place. It's a good idea. I think." He shook his head, still looking flustered. "Let's… go home." On the way back he slipped into old habits and walked ahead of me, probably due to nerves. I was content with it this time though, just watching him, how he always stood so inhumanly straight and yet ducked his head when he was nervous. Even things like this I loved about him.
"I'm stupid," I whispered to myself. Someone like him, I definitely needed to hold on to. "Kent!" I ran after him and hugged him tightly from behind. "Don't leave, okay?"
"Ah, my apologies… I was just… getting my thoughts in order."
"It's okay. I caught you." I took his hand and didn't let go until I had to, since we needed to part ways for me to get some things from my apartment and him to clean some things up, so he said. It was perfectly fine, though, since it gave me time to change into the cutest pajamas I had and freshen up, making sure my hair wasn't messy and I didn't look as tired as I felt.
I waited outside his door until he came to let me in. "Hey…" I mumbled. "So… Please take good care of me."
He gulped nervously and looked away. "You don't have to be so formal. You're welcome here at any time."
"So… I'll just, uh, come in." It felt tense now that I was overly conscious again of how much I liked him.
"You look very tired… You can take my bed, and I'll –"
"We won't sleep together?"
He opened his mouth but couldn't seem to get any words out.
"… Is that okay? Just to sleep next to each other."
"I-Is it?"
"I think so…"
"Sleeping. Nothing else. I swear."
"Shouldn't I be the one making that promise to you?" Kent looked at me earnestly.
"I dunno!" I looked at him helplessly, and we slowly cracked smiles. "Let's just go to sleep… I'm exhausted."
"How long has it been since you slept?"
"The last two days are kind of a blur, and then today felt long even though it was kind of easier…"
"I won't lecture you, even if I really want to, but you shouldn't skip sleep."
"And you've never pulled an all-nighter?"
"I generally finish my tasks and am in bed by eleven o'clock."
"… I hate you." I took a small running start and leaped onto his bed. "This feels so good!" I sighed, hugging the pillow. "If I end up stealing the blankets away from you in the middle of the night, just tug 'em back."
"Noted." Kent settled next to me gingerly.
"You look… different." Seeing him in a simple v-neck shirt and flannel pants was completely new and adorably casual.
"Is different in this case a compliment?"
"You're so cute…" I shimmied closer to wrap my arms around his chest. "I want to treasure you, too… So I'll work hard to make up for being a bad girlfriend over the past month."
"How many times do I have to tell you I understand perfectly that you had to put your work first?"
"I don't want you to have to understand," I murmured. I wanted him to feel as safe as I did when I was with him. "I absolutely swear, I'm going to be the best girlfriend you've ever had."
"You're the only girlfriend I've ever had."
"That too." I relaxed quickly into a state between wakefulness and sleep, needing rest but wanting to keep feeling the moment. "I get really lonely," I murmured.
"Lonely?" Kent echoed softly.
"Yeah. Being alone at night. Or during the day, sometimes. I dunno why. It's hard."
"I understand." He put his arms gently around my back. "But even if you don't have a lot of precious people in your life, having just a few that are dear to you can be enough. Trust me on that."
I nodded. "Okay." He couldn't understand it because I couldn't either, this feeling that I was being haunted by something I couldn't even see, feel, or hear. It was just there, this feeling that something was missing. Still, as long as Kent was there, it would all be fine. That feeling could be kept at bay, if just barely.
~ Proposal ~
"Kent, let me make it up to you with a date today!" I leaned over his desk after slapping my palms down on it.
His lifted his gaze from his laptop. "You've been making up for it, as you say, for three months."
"As long as I still feel bad, this behavior shall continue." I skirted around the desk to loop my arms around his neck from behind. "Come on. Break time."
He sighed and leaned into me. "You're probably right." He was working almost nonstop on his dissertation. I knew perfectly now why he was so understanding when I was so immersed in my work. For him, it was a part of life. A dissertation was seriously consuming endeavor, so now it was more or less my turn to make sure Kent took care of himself.
"Come on then!" I tugged him to his feet and he laughed, letting me pull him back towards the outside world.
"Where are we going?"
"A place I think will be very relaxing." I winked and he only looked halfway nervous about what I could mean. "Do you, uh, like stars and stuff?"
"I like them as much as the next person, I suppose. I took an astronomy class for an elective once."
"Good enough." I led him through town to a white building that had a black, rounded roof. "Ta-da! Planetarium."
"You had me worried, but this does seem like it will be relaxing."
"Haha, I had a good idea." We were led into a room with a projector covering the ceiling, nothing special while the lights were still on. "Did you know that there are movie theaters with seats that recline back like this? They're more expensive though," I rattled on as we sat back in the chairs, arms touching.
"Are you…. Nervous?"
"No. No way. You're imagining things and/or are completely wrong." I looked away from him, mumbling. "What makes you think that…?"
"You have a tendency to go on about unrelated subjects when you feel nervous. My suspicions have been more or less confirmed."
"It's just that… you're really close."
"This is a very selective time for that to bother you."
"We're in public! With other people. The elderly and children. I immediately feel indecent. Like someone's gonna be like, damn whippersnappers, bringing their fornication into the planetarium."
"… I don't understand anything you're saying…" Kent blushed. "However, being that this is a date, I feel as if our current closeness is acceptable."
"O-okay." I shifted closer to him and he put his arm around my shoulders. "The only constellations I know are the big and little dippers. Why isn't there a medium dipper?"
"I don't know. I'll point out what I can if you like."
"Sure." It felt more comfortable once the lights went out. The other people and seats around us didn't feel quite so present. In moments to projector lit with images of space. It almost felt as if I could rearrange the stars if I reached up. "Dude," I whispered. "Planetariums are fucking cool."
Kent pressed his lips into my hair to smother a laugh. Then he shifted slightly to whisper in my ear. "That's Cygnus."
"Which one?" I murmured, leaning my head towards his.
"The cross… Right there." He pointed, tracing the shape with his finger. As the screen changed, he quickly caught another one. "Canis Major. There."
"It looks like a headless stick figure throwing a ball." A lot of them did.
"… Perhaps it does… Ah, that one's Orion. I think it's one of the most well-known."
"Giant headless stick figure shooting an arrow. Why do you think we imagine a bunch of stick figures in the sky?"
"I think it's normal to want to understand the things that fascinate us. Giving name to them helps."
"Oh… That makes sense." I nestled my head on his chest to get more comfortable.
He idly ran his fingers through my hair. "You see that one? It looks a bit like a parasol but it's actually a fly."
"Yeah? I see it."
"It's called Musca. Lesser known… I think it's charming."
I couldn't seem to speak all of a sudden, nor could I understand the sudden heartache that tore through my chest. All I could do was hide my face and sink my teeth into my lip to hold in any sounds that might betray the fact that I was crying.
Even so, Kent eventually noticed as he continued to point out formations in the stars without receiving a response from me. "Michi?" He whispered, tilting my chin up when I tried to bury further into his jacket. "What's the matter?" His eyes widened instantly with shock and panic.
I shook my head and wiped at my face, angry that these selfish emotions were ruining what was supposed to be a good time. "Nothing," I was eventually able to mumble.
"Let's go." He took my hand and pulled me outside despite my protests. Once we were back into the sunlight, squinting from the transition out of darkness, Kent took my shoulders and looked into my eyes. "Please tell me. Why are you crying? I can't figure this one out on my own."
"I don't know. I don't know! I can't understand these weird feelings I keep getting." The sadness and loneliness that kept hitting me didn't have a clear reason for being there.
Kent's brow wrinkled with confusion as he thought. "… Let's go home."
"I'm sorry," I whispered. "I'm so sorry, this was supposed to be relaxing for you." I let out a weak laugh. "I'm pretty pathetic right now."
"Don't say that. Everything is alright, I promise." He put his arm around my shoulder again but it seemed like more of a protective gesture this time.
For a time we were both silent. It was hard to know what to say, and I was too wrapped up in my own thoughts trying to put name to this confusion.
"Will talking about it help? I don't know," Kent said after a time.
"Let's just change the subject for now."
"Whatever you like. Then…" He tilted his head. "Your collection. How is it coming along? I haven't asked you about it in a while."
"It's coming along. I never know what Junko's going to like, but I feel really good about it. You know when you just know in your gut that something's going to turn out well as long as you put the effort in? That's what I feel like."
"I know the feeling very well, yes." He smiled. "I'm happy for you."
"Do… Do you want to see one when we get back? If I tried to read your dissertation I'd never understand, but I can share my work with you." I didn't even understand when he tried to explain the subject matter to me, so reading it was out of the question.
"I'd love to see what you're working on." His eyes lit up, but worry still hung at the edges of his expression.
"Okay… I'll show you then." Even in the drama it still made me excited to see what he would think. When we got home I ducked quickly into my room. "Wait a minute!" Of course I had to pick my favorite, and… Maybe it wouldn't hurt to try it on, right? Just… Just to see how it looked… felt… No ulterior motives whatsoever, like him thinking I'm pretty or something... Of course not.
"I'm stupid, right? … Right?" I closed my eyes. There would never be any response. I knew that very well. These feelings… I had to let them go so I could treat what was in front of me properly with all I had. I couldn't let it get to me, ever again. "Right, then." I peeked around the door before going out, dress swishing around my bare feet. I smoothed the fabric down, standing there awkwardly. It was the only one I'd made that wasn't white so far, cream-colored instead. Pearls formed floral designs on the bodice and acted as a belt of sorts to break the line around the waist where the skirt fluffed out in layers of tulle. "H… Hi."
"… Oh." Kent sat on the couch blinking at me.
"I-I figured that it'd be easier for you to say whether you liked it if you saw it on someone, is all…" A complete and utter lie. More like I was indulging myself. No harm in it, though… "That's all!"
"You want… my, uh…" He coughed. "Objective… opinion?"
"Whatever kind of opinion you have, I guess." I shrugged.
"It's… lovely," he said quietly, putting his face in his hands.
"That was underwhelming, but I'll take it as a compliment."
"No, that's…!" He looked up at me earnestly, face bright red. "It's quite overwhelming, rather…"
"I can just go take it off, if you want."
"No." He stood and approached me. "It's fine."
"Kent?" I caught my breath when he stopped standing close to me, bent down closer towards my level.
"It's difficult to give an objective opinion when it's you wearing it. But it's beautiful."
I blushed. "You're really close."
"So I gathered."
"Did you just… sass me? You had sass in you this whole time?" I teased softly.
"The longer we are together, the more new things we'll learn about each other."
"Yeah…" I felt my face fall. "I… I'm sorry. I turned out to be a weaker person than you could have expected. I don't think you're ever going to have a perfect or calm life with me around."
"I don't think that feeling lonely means you're weak. I don't think that not comprehending your own feeling means you are weak. If it does, then I've been weak for almost my entire life, before we became close. So, please don't say those things about yourself. Besides, it won't change how much I love you."
I opened my mouth to respond, but Kent had leaned in to touch his lips to mine almost before I could get my thoughts together. He pulled away for a moment, looking into my eyes with so much seriousness that I squeezed my own eyes shut out of shyness.
"Michi."
"Eh?" I flinched, having been expecting another kiss.
"I…"
"What's up?" I opened my eyes, confused and heart beating erratically.
"You said once that you'd be content to be with me forever, right?"
"Well, more than just content. But yeah, something along those lines…" I mumbled.
"I'd be happy, too. I… I would like to keep learning new things about you. I want us to continue taking care of each other. I don't want you to feel lonely again, ever. I… want to know what you think about that."
A hot blush crept up from my neck to my ears. "W-well… I… like… it."
"Shall we marry, then?"
"… What? What?!"
"Will you marry me?"
"W-will you marry me, though?" I blurted.
Kent blinked but then laughed. "Of course."
"Then I'll marry you too."
"Okay." I cracked a grin. "Your parents are gonna freak. We've only been dating four months."
"It feels a lot longer than that… But I suppose it is impulsive." Kent smiled. "I'm willing to make a bet, however, that we'll have a good life together. The rest of our lives." He laughed softly. "I've never been quite so happy."
"Me either." I blushed as he leaned down to kiss my shoulders and collarbone, arms going tight around my waist. Then before I knew it he had scooped me up easily. I laughed. "Your parents are gonna freak."
"Most definitely." He nudged the door to the bedroom with his foot and carried me in there, keeping a hold on me even as he sat on the bed. "It's a tradition for a groom to carry his bride over the precipice… I think to symbolize a new start of their lives together."
"Huh. How about I carry you instead next time?"
"You can certainly try, but…"
"Wow. I can feel your doubt like so heavily eight now."
"Well…"
"It's fine, you can carry me if you want. Just as long as you don't get tired for the wedding night."
"The night?" His face slowly reddened. "Ah. Yes."
"That's the best part, right?"
"Arguably?"
"Will be for me I think. Sawa and Mine are probably gonna doll me up, and that's going to be torture but at least I'll look good… When should we get married? I don't want to be cold, but I don't want to sweat either…" I stopped rambling when Kent laughed softly. "What?"
"It's just cute that you're so excited… I am too, but still. I'm glad to see you are too. Although…" He looked away and coughed. "Certain things don't necessarily need to wait for the night of a wedding, right?"
"… Can I count this as a proposition?" I mumbled.
"Perhaps."
I grinned, throwing my arms around him and tackling him onto his back. "Come here, you."
There would always be those inexplicable times when I felt lonely, when I felt the urge to go back to that planetarium and confront the name and shape that had made me break inexplicably. Even so, there would also always be this person next to me, solid and dependable and teddy-bear sweet. That light, that voice, were all that I needed.
A/N
You may have noticed a certain gratuitous absence from this chapter. That's right. No sex scene. I… I couldn't think of anything besides sweet tender missionary lovemaking for this couple and that would have been boring to write. I tried, and that's why this update took a while… But nothing worked. So… Sorry if you feel jipped, reader.
This also turned out to be more somber than I thought it'd be. But such is the way with overarching plotlines. Hyuk hyuk hyuk.
Two chapters left. I am so freakishly close. So… freakishly tempted to start new fanfictions. Ahhhhh. Just let me be in peace, my precious anime trash mind.