As always I own nothing, make no money from this and bow before the genius that is Chuck Lorre, Bill Prady and all of the writers, actors and crew that bring the TBBT to life. Thank you.

To cygne909 who left a review hoping I was doing a send up of the 1949 movie "Kind Hearts and Coronets", I agree it was a classic and with Sir Alec Guinness playing the roles of every member of the family victimized by the antagonist, it is very enjoyable. Unfortunately while I can imagine Leonard as Lewis (the antagonist) I do not have the comedic chops or talent to create the image of all of the family members portrayed by Sheldon. Without that the story would be ruined. I had even contemplated a version where thru a series of accidents Sheldon ends up killing all of is competitors for the Nobel prize. Instead I suggest to you all to view this movie (if you can find it). It was very well written, very well acted and the plot had some interesting twists. JheremyC

V2 L-1

I know what your thinking. The blow by blow details of a year in the life of a 4th grader, been there, done that. Instead I intend to give you the basics of my plan and how I implemented it.

Result 1: I needed Edward to be seen constantly bullying me.

Result 2: I needed to be seen by the staff as being withdrawn and sick from fear.

Result 3: I needed to provide proof that the bullying was actionable by the staff and not just boys being boys.

Action 1: Whenever I saw Edward I would cringe, no comment, just look away and move as far from him as possible. This needed to be done everytime since you never new when a teacher was watching. Action 2: Whenever school activities forced me to be in close proximity to Edward, I needed to be seen as sweating and trembling in fear.

Action 3: Whenever the scheduled action was to occur I would bump into Edward when he was not watching. I would throw myself to the ground, books flying. One of the staff would of course be nearby and when asked I always said it was an accident and not looking in his direction would say that "Edward did not hit me". Truth but it would cause doubt in the mind of the staff person. It was more effective than an outright accusation.

Tools 1: I created a schedule of all of Edwards classes. I studied the routines of several of the staff. When they went to lunch. When they snuck out for a cigarette. When they would head to the teachers lounge for a beverage. I used this combined with my software to send innocuous emails to my PDA. Example a message to pick up milk that arrived at 1 PM was to let me know that Edward and one the staff would be near the cafeteria doors at 2:35. Another message was about such and such a bird being spotted nesting. This told me that their paths would cross near the teachers lounge.

Tools 2: Using a mixture of dried dandelion root and powdered caffeine I coated the ginger root candies I always carried with me for stomach pains. Whenever I got a notice that Edward and my schedules were about to cross I would eat several of the ginger root candies which would seriously spike my blood pressure and cause me to sweat profusely. I would wait until Edward was close and then over react trying to "get away from him". The teacher present seeing my distress and noticing the sweating and shortness of breath, would send me to the nurse who would note yet another note about a spike in blood pressure in my records and of course recommend to my folks that I see my physician. The Doctor would find nothing because the mixture had left my system by the time school ended.

Tools 3: I took kick boxing at a gym in a nearby town. This strengthened my body but also gave me a supply of fresh bruises that would fit with my having been bullied. I rode my bike there and back claiming to be at the local library. I paid for everything in cash.

As the school year progressed the "random" attacks of Edward on my person started to register with the school staff, and strangely enough with the students as well.

At first the "bullying" brought the usual derision from my classmates. As we approached Halloween though things started to change. After our more recent "meetings" Edward was being sent to the office more and more often. I had to update my program because Edward had changed his routine drastically. He would cross the hall or turn and walk away when he saw me.

Students who were normally placid were berating him for picking on me. Then I heard thru the grapevine that poor Leonard was afraid because Edward had killed my beloved cousin Angelo. Think about it like a kid. The incident was in the paper, then Angelo was taken away in an ambulance and he was never seen again. Murdered by Edward who now seemed intent on hurting poor Leonard. I had not expected this. Suddenly Edward was himself being bullied. He had grown sullen and withdrawn. He would be sent to the office again and again blaming me for all of his problems. My project had gotten out of hand. I had miscalculated. I wanted Edward to pay for his crime but not like this. Then Edward was expelled multiple times. A school psychologist was brought in to council the kids on the effects of bullying. Everywhere I went I got pitied. "Look at poor Leonard".

Then things got really weird. Several girls had decided it was somehow romantic and tried to "save" me. The kick boxing and riding my bicycle had toned my body. The Vendetta had proven to me that I was not Dr. Hofstadter idiot child. I was invited to parties, asked to go the the mall with my new friends. I was felling better about myself and THAT WAS WRONG.

I was supposed to be avenging Angelo. Instead people were praising me for taking care of the memory of my poor dead cousin.

No one would listen. I tried to tell them Angelo was alive and getting rehabilitated. Our housekeeper, Mrs. Loletta, had been driving us up to see Angelo every second Saturday since he had be moved out of intensive care.

Worst of all I was getting praised for doing what was right. You take care of family. You should not be praised for doing what is right. You shouldn't..

Then things got worse, Edward never returned to school after Christmas break.

My cry for vengance was now ashes in my mouth. I found out Uncle Floyd's business was failing. Aunt Maria was looking years older than she should. Angelo was not improving. I realized I had spent too much time on Vendetta and not enough time on "mi familia". I was ashamed.

I took stock of my life.

Fact: No matter how smart I am, I am still a child , a kid, a rug rat, not an adult.

I removed Edward from my enemies list. I mean really, how can a 9 year old boy have 3 enemies.