As always I own nothing, make no money from this and bow before the genius that is Chuck Lorre, Bill Prady and all of the writers, actors and crew that bring the TBBT to life. Thank you.

Rambling Ruckus

I have a tendency to ramble so my short story on why I did not kill sheldon is turning into a novel. I am on my second notebook and I am pretty sure the Padre knows I am not unburdening my soul on paper.

As I am writing this down I find that I need to include more information as almost every individual I have called friend has had a part in my "life of crime". Honestly that is how the DA described our group to the jury.

Life of crime. He was up for re-election and I believe he was using my trial to get his face in the papers. Sorry for the interrupt.

I had left the restaurant after settling up the bill and was greeted by the sight of an oil smudged Mr. Rostenkowski, and the short skirted Missy, leaning into the engine compartment of Bernadette's car. They were talking motors and both knew what they were talking about. I noticed that Mr. Rostenkowski never once looked down the top of her low cut blouse. I decided I liked him, rough edges and all.

I moved up behind Missy and parked myself strategically between her back and the small group of men standing outside the restaurant ogling her. Mrs. Cooper who had been in a deep conversation with Amy had seen my action and realized its cause. She walked up to the men and basically told them to move it or lose it. They scattered under her glare. Raj and Howard had arrived with their cars. Since Missy needed to return to the apartment to change into something clean and I needed to replace the bandage on my eye, it was decided she drive me home (in my car) and the others would return to the University to attend the party being given to celebrate the recently elevated doctors.

I had climbed in the back seat so I could stretch out my leg and guided Missy as she navigated the streets of Pasadena. I caught her glimpsing at me in the rearview mirror and she would quickly look away when our eyes met. It was only a 15 minute drive but it felt longer. The awkward silence continued till we reached the elevator. As the door opened she dropped the car keys and bent at the waist to pick them up. This gave me a look down her low cut blouse that made my breath hitch as I pulled in a little extra air. She fumbled for the keys and then finally grabbed them and stood up. I had honestly tried to look away because she was my friends sister. She was my friends, 5'10" (in heels which she always wore), brunette hair that cascaded down to her shoulders, with long long legs and a figure to rival Penelope Cruz's, twin sister. She had the very definition of an hourglass figure. She also had that sweet east Texas accent that made you wonder how it would sound in the throws of passion. The ride up in the elevator was equally quiet and when she stepped out of the elevator she again dropped the keys, bent over, and again fumbled to pick them up. This time she was facing away from me so my view was of her long, long, legs capped by a shapely, skirt covered, derriere. Even in writing about Sheldon's sister now I find myself still making sure it would be in a way not to offend him.

I opened the door and held it for her while she entered. Still quiet I led her to the bathroom to clean away the grease and then grab a quick shower. I went to my room and changed out the bandage. The eye was almost fully healed and except for a small fold of flesh that bridged the outside corner of my eyelid, and issues with light sensitivity, my eyes were almost back to normal. I swapped out my shirt, slid my sunglasses back on, and returned to the living room.

To my surprise the shower stopped minutes later and out came Missy wearing my robe. I am 5'5" and the robe was short on me. On her 5'9" frame it barely covered what Monty Python would call the "naughty bits". She had not washed her hair only pinned it up while she showered. As she shook it loose I became uncomfortably aware of the effects she was having on me. She smiled and walked to me, standing a little closer than normal. She was not shy about what she wanted. She had seen me checking her out while she worked on the car. She informed me that since I did not make a pass at her and was very careful not to look at her cleavage, no matter how low she made it, and that I had made such an effort to take care of "Shelly" that I might be playing for the other team. She said whenever I looked at Amy and Sheldon I always looked "wistful" so she thought I might be jealous of his new relationship. She had overheard two of the waitresses discuss that Leonard is so sweet, a good tipper and never got handsy with any of the wait staff. When Mrs. Copper was talking to Bernadette, commented how we would make a cute couple when Bernadette admitted to just meeting me today. She revealed that Dr. Hofstadter had been very nice to her, she was sure I was not interested in her "that way". Even Amy chimed in letting Mrs. Copper know that while I was in the hospital I had treated all the female staff with respect and thoughtfulness. She had discussed the conversation with Missy and both agreed that it was not clear on what rocked my boat. This idea had changed when she assumed that since I was standing directly behind her while she worked on the car I must be checking out her bottom. The scenes in the elevator were so I could get a better look at at what she had to offer. I had made no pass so she upped her game to a blatant offer of sex if I wanted her. I stepped back and tried to gather my thoughts. She upped the ante again by letting the robe fall to the floor. I nearly wept. She was beautiful. Then she went a little white and asked if the accident was what was holding me back. I let her know in great detail of what I wanted to do to her at that moment, all of which could be done only with my tongue. Her eyes were dilated and her breathing was getting shallower. Her nipples were stiff and pointing at me. She wanted to know what I wanted her to do. In total disbelief I heard my own voice say that I was her brother's best friend and that casual sex with her would be an insult to that friendship. She did not believe me, she thought I just didn't find her attractive. I looked down and told her if I was any more turned on I wouldn't need the cane to walk. She blushed. Pulling the robe back on she looked at me again and asked what I would have done if she was not Sheldon's sister, and I calmly explained that she would already be bent over the arm of the couch, dress flipped up, panties at her feet while I led her in that prayer to Bacchus, the god of joy, "Oh God, Oh God, oh my God". I expected her to get mad, instead she removed my glasses and ran her finger along the scars there. Then she told me that I was the only true gentleman she had ever met. I told her I was an idiot.

She smiled and went to dress. In the future Missy and I would meet on numerous occasion but there was no repeat of the seduction attempt. On every meeting she would find away to walk up behind me and whisper into my ear a breathy "O MY GOD". A couple of years later after returning from Missy's wedding to a very nice man from her work, I received an email from her while she honeymooned in the Bahamas. It was a picture of a slightly pregnant Missy in a maternity swim suit standing on a beach. She was topless. The caption was OMG. I truly am an idiot.

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