TMW CHAPTER 25

Sam's pov

I couldn't believe she agreed to go on a date with me. Well, it wasn't a date – she put a nail in that idea as soon as it left my mouth. She was still willing to go out with me, though. I hadn't expected her to want to be around me at all. It was clear to me that she wasn't really receptive to the songs I sang to her in glee. After the last time we'd talked, I just knew she wouldn't even hear me out, but I had to try. I love Mercedes and I would hate myself if I didn't try to at least get her to be in my life at all.

She would never know how happy she made me by not turning me down. I was a little disappointed that she wasn't willing to go on a real date with me. That is what she wanted, right? For me to be more like a real boyfriend, at least that's what I think she broke up with me for. But I would've taken what I could get, and I had to go and ruin that. I mean, I figured if I got the chance then maybe she would come around. She loved me; I knew she still did. I don't know about that now, but then… then I thought that if I could show her how good we could be – how good we were together, she wouldn't be able to deny it, and we'd get back together.

I was so amped to get to see her alone finally and without the irritation of her bodyguards popping up. When I saw her at the door casually dressed with just a little makeup on, I stopped breathing a little.

I miss her so much.

She was so beautiful. She is so beautiful, though I haven't seen her up close since that day. She's been avoiding me in every way. Before she just didn't talk to me or stuff like that, but she still looked at me. I still saw the angry glares, and sometimes something different. Now…now she doesn't look at me at all.

I could lose myself in her bright brown eyes, and I did that day at her door. I can't help it. Mercedes has that kind of power over me. I think I made her mad or maybe scared her, though, because she flipped a little. She did get over it after a bit, for which I was glad. Mercedes is like that, easy going. She doesn't sweat the little stuff.

I wasn't trying to overstep on purpose, which understanding as she is, Mercedes knew. It was that I just felt so anxious around her. Everything felt so different. I guess maybe because she seemed different. I don't know. I mean just being around her made me want to lose myself in her. I felt like I needed to make her mine again. But I couldn't do that; it was too soon, and I was going about everything all wrong.

Yeah, I was a little on edge after she bit my head off, but once she seemed okay we were able to fall into a groove that reminded me of when we first got together, which was a good thing. It allowed me to prove to Mercedes that we should be together without even saying anything. That was the only way I was going to get her back. However, I couldn't shake the feeling that there were things I didn't know and needed the answers to. Things I needed to ask her about. We needed to talk, but when I tried to ask her about her and Puck, she outright refused to talk about him. I was just concerned about her current relationship with Puck and their past relationship that she didn't mention. Why didn't she tell me about her and Puck? Why did I have to hear about it from the smug prick who's trying to take my place in Mercedes' life. She could have told me, I wouldn't have made a big deal about it.

Now? Now I don't even know if I'll have the chance to talk to her ever again. Now I – I just wish things between us were better. Not perfect or anything, just better. I wish we could sit down and talk things through because of what happened…

I thought we were on the same page. I thought she felt the same way I did. Kissing just made sense; we were clicking and she was having a good time. She didn't punch me or end our date when I touched her or got too close. So, I just thought…

I guess that's what I get for thinking. Mercedes did call me dumb when we had our first fight. I guess she had a point. Because I was so wrong. I didn't realize how stupid I had been all this time until I saw the tears in her eyes and my ex-girlfriend running away from me as if I was some monster or something. She was definitely not ready for that, but I don't know why, when our date had gone so well.

Unfortunately, she is the only person that can help me with my misunderstanding. This time, though, I'll give her some time. More time than I have in the past before going to her and trying to figure everything out.

No pressure. I won't be trying to get her to go with me.

We'll just talk because that's what we really need.