Jujubee58 and Guest. Thank you so much for your reviews. It is greatly appreciated that you took the time to do so.

Chapter 29

"Where are you going?"

"I'm going to Puck's house."

"Hmm. I thought you said he wasn't talking to you the last time I asked about him."

"I did, but now I'm tired of him being a baby and I'm going to make him talk to me."

Mom raised an insinuating left brow as she smiled at me. "It's not what you think, really Mom. We're just friends."

"Sure, you two seem to squabble like an old married couple and if he was just your friend, why wouldn't he be talking to you? Huh?"

I rolled my eyes at my mom. She'd been home for a while and I was beginning to realize why Dad was my favorite. "Long story," before she could open her mouth again, "that I'm not going to tell you. Maybe when I'm old and married and you have one foot in the grave. Just know that we are only friends and he's a temperamental one. He throws diva-size fits."

"Bigger than you?"

"Much bigger."

"Doubt that."

"Yeah, well, I got to go because if I can get there before his mom leaves for work she'll let me in and Puck won't get the chance to slam the door in my face."

"Okay, just be home before dinner. I'm cooking tonight and your dad will be here in time for all of us to eat together."

"Okay, Mom." I grabbed my keys and headed for the front door.

"Oh, baby, be easy on him. I know how you can get and whatever it is, I think it's because he likes you."

"Mom he doesn't like me. We broke up ages ago and we've been friends ever since. Puck's a pretty forward guy, if he liked me I would know. He would make sure I knew. Bye, Mom." I rushed out the house before she could spew more nonsense.

It was a short ride to Puck's house; I practically broke laws trying to get there. I needed to get there and get this over with because I missed my friend. The sooner we made up the sooner I could tell him about this mess with Sam. He probably wouldn't want to hear it, but I thought he would be glad that I didn't give into Sam's advances.

Just as I expected, Ms. Puckerman answered the door (so glad it wasn't Puck).

"Mercedes." She smiled as she let me into her home.

"Ms Puckerman, How have you been?"

"Good sweetie. I haven't seen you around in a while, did my boy do something?"

"No, believe it or not it was me, that's why I'm here. He's home, right?"

"Yeah, upstairs, I'm on my way out, so, I'll leave you to him." She turned to me before she closed the door. "Don't be too easy on hm. He's so spoiled, used to getting his way."

"Don't worry; I won't." Puck's mom laughed as she exited the house, and so did I as I skipped up the stairs.

The door was closed when I reached it, but I decided to walk right in without knocking. The sight that met me caught me off guard (which never happens). Puck was stretched across his bed shirtless, clad in only a pair of black gym shorts. He had his ear buds in his ears listening to his iPod; therefore, he didn't notice me when I came in. I used this to my advantage. For a solid two minutes, I just ogled my friend. Next to Sam, it doesn't seem like it, but Puck is just as fit and attractive in that bad boy with a heart kind of way. He's cute, and for a moment, I appreciated how cute my friend was before I interrupted his solitude and had to listen to his big mouth yell, scream and more than likely insult me on being foolish enough to go out with Sam in the first place.

With a deep breath, I walked over to the bed and poked Puck in the side.

Just like he would or wouldn't do, he didn't startle. He simply canted his head toward me looking at me sideways then turned back around effectively ignoring me. He didn't say anything to me as I stood there waiting for him to do something more than he had. The longer he ignored me the angrier I got. Full of frustration, I smacked him on the back of the head and took one of his ear buds out. When he looked at me again (more like glared), I was standing with my arms crossed over my chest, head cocked to the side, and a frown on my face.

I guess he figured I wasn't going anywhere so he sat up on his bed with his feet touching the floor.

"What?" His voice held hints of the anger from the previous week but was more tainted by fatigue than anything else.

"Don't what me; you've been expertly avoiding me. Get over it."

He shook his head chuckling mirthlessly. "I don't want to, Mercedes, so just go back to your boyfriend, and bother him." He said staring directly into my eyes.

I shook my head at him then sat down by him. I peeked in his direction and found him playing with his hands and his head lowered. He cared so much, but he had to know I hadn't given in to Sam. I bumped his shoulder making sure I had his attention before I started talking. "I don't have a boyfriend." He didn't look up at me; so, I continued. I wanted him to hear how the non-date went. How well I handled things, outside of acting like a big baby afterwards. "We went out as friends, just friends. And, everything was going fine according to me, all the red flags and Sam's slip-ups notwithstanding. I was being gullible and just wanted to prove Kurt wrong. He told me so," I laughed. "He was right because he kissed me after I'd made it clear that I just wanted to be his friend."

Puck glanced up at me with an indescribable expression on his face.

"I didn't sleep with him, if that's what you're thinking. I didn't even kiss him back. That's not what I want from him. I just want – wanted to be his friend, but I see we can't really be that right now."

"You still want to be his friend?" He growled; literally, he growled at me, if he wasn't my friend…

"I'm your friend." I intoned.

"Yeah, but we can both say that things between you and Sam, and you and me were categorically different."

I thought about what he said, and he had a point. Albeit, there were holes in his logic. He didn't know the whole of me and Sam before everything went to hell in a handbag. "I see what you're saying, and I agree to a point." He rolled his eyes. "Puck, Sam wasn't just my…we weren't just – we were more than lovers." He winced but didn't say anything. "We were kind of friends at some time during our thing. We talked and did stuff outside of my bedroom and that's why I went out with him to try to get that back, but he had something else in mind."

"But you didn't?" He questioned in a voice smaller than I thought was possible for him.

"Nope."

"Not even a little?"

"No doofus. I don't want Sam. A friendship, maybe, but I don't see that happening anytime in the near or far future."

"Well, you could do without him anyway." He said sounding like himself, finally not so angry with me.

"Yeah, because I have you, who hasn't talked to me in, oh, a week." Puck didn't even have the decency to look ashamed. "You didn't have to shut me out like that. I get being mad at me for giving into Sam or whatever, but I didn't, and you could've known that had you taken any of my calls."

"I couldn't-"

"Yes you could've. It wasn't like you were dealing with some catastrophic life altering decision you had to make, or death. I was the one who was going out with the wolf not you. I get a day or two; you're Puck, it's that or you rip me a new one, but it went longer than two days. Why? Why'd you say away so long?" He didn't seem to understand how much the distance hurt me.

"I was mad."

"So mad you stopped talking to me? Come on!"

"I couldn't, okay." He mumbled.

"Couldn't what? It wasn't that big of a deal, yeah, it turned into crap, but in the end it helped me realize that I am over Sam. I wanted you to know that, that's why I was calling you. Did you read any of my texts?"

"No-"

"Of course not. You never called me back. Even now, you don't seem to be-"

"I couldn't because I was too mad at you." He yelled breaking my train of thought. I hadn't even been paying attention to him.

"Huh?" I couldn't understand why he would be mad at me. I hadn't done anything to him.

Puck jerked up from the bed to stand in front of me. Tortured, that's what that look was, but why? Little did I know, I was definitely about to find out.

"It's so hard, Merce. I had to listen – I don't mind, I don't – but to hear you go on about Sam when he doesn't deserve you – I…then you tell me you two are going on a date." He began pacing.

"That's what I keep trying to tell you, it wasn't a date."

"Regardless of what you're naïve mind wanted to think, Mercedes, it was a date to Sam. I know this because if it were me…it would have been a date."

"But it wasn't." I mumbled stubbornly, not really catching the gist of what Puck was actually saying.

"No not for you. But for him – and me – it was. It was a second chance. You gave him a second chance whether you knew it or not, and all I could think was that should be me. I should be the one-" he paused then forged on. He had come this far I guess he felt no need to stop now despite the pained look contorting my features and the desperation in his voice. "It should have been me that was getting the second chance." He emphasized pointing to his chest.

I couldn't say anything. I don't think I would have wanted to if I could, but he didn't seem to mind or expect me to anyway.

"But it wasn't. It was Sam, and I – I just couldn't. Because it should have been me. And I just knew you were going to fall for Sam's lies. Not because you're dumb or something, but there was no way he was going to let you go. He was going to find a way to make you take him back. I-"

"Puck-"

"Let me finish, okay." He implored finally looking into my eyes. I just nodded my head and allowed him to continue. "I know because I feel the same way. Mercedes, I was angry with you, because I was angry with myself. So angry because you were going out with Sam and I hadn't let you know how I feel." This time Puck sat down beside me looking at the side of my face. He didn't say anything right off, he was waiting for something; it wasn't until I turned to meet his eyes that he went on. "Merce, I –want – I…when you stopped talking to me when you first got with Sam was – I hated it. I never stopped loving you. Or maybe I finally started loving you because what I feel for you now doesn't – it's not the same as before." He sucked in a deep breath, squared his shoulders, and said more. "I want you back. I want to – for real – be with you. No secrets, nothing, just you and me. I don't care who knows it."

This wasn't happening. Not that I could do anything to make it not happen, but if I could I think I might have closed my eyes and wished upon a star or God or something that I could go back in time to keep Puck from pouring out his heart to me. I didn't deserve it. What I was about to say could ruin our friendship and as loathe as I was to say it, I couldn't just neglect what was right for me to make him happy. I'm not going to lie; a gigantic part of me wanted to smile and agree that I felt the same way, if only to keep from losing one of my best friends and breaking his heart. I couldn't. It wouldn't benefit either of us. I was not going to be that person anymore. I wasn't going to smother myself just to satisfy someone else. I just couldn't no matter how much it hurt me not to do so.

He must have seen it in my eyes, the rejection, because his hopeful demeanor dissolved as he looked away from me. I did the same. I didn't want to see his face as I said what he already knew.

"We can't. I can't. I'm sorry." I felt so bad, and I probably should have left, but I had to stay. This was probably it for us. I didn't see how Puck could remain my friend after this. The thought scared me, and fear kept me planted on his bed beside him, neither of us daring to glance at the other. After a few minutes of crippling silence, I was finally, though hesitantly, ready to let my friend be. This had to be worse for him with me just sitting there selfishly, so, I stood to leave. As I did, Puck spoke.

"Is it because of before…because of how I treated you the first time around?"

I spun around slowly to face him. "No."

He peered up at me with anger dancing in his eyes, "Sam?"

I shook my head. "No."

He released a sigh as he covered his face with his hands. I smiled seeing the relief on his face. Puck was obviously relieved, but I could tell he had more questions, and we all know he wasn't going to ask (it took everything in him to ask the two). I was in for some explaining so I rejoined Puck on the bed.

Though my body craved for physical contact, reassurance that things between us that we were still the same, I refrained and kept my hands to myself. No need to add insult to injury. "It's not you, and I know how contrived that sounds, but it's true. It has nothing to do with you or Sam. It's me; I'm not ready for a relationship or anything resembling one. I need to…I need to be alone for a while. I haven't been single long, and I think, before I get in any relationship, I should just be me, with me." I turned to face to him to make sure he understood. He wasn't looking at me, but I don't doubt that he did get what I was saying.

"It's obvious I have a lot of me left to find." I said trying to lighten the mood. I even gave his shoulder a nudge hoping that would at least garner a chuckle from him. Or a frown (anything). But I got nothing. "I'm sorry. I-"

"It's okay. Just forget about it alright."

I hated the sound of defeat in his voice, but I could do that, I could forget. "Okay."

I only let a small space of silence exist before I changed the subject. I needed to get us back on our track. However, things didn't return to normal, the easy banter we'd always shared was rocky and strained. I could tell that he was still feeling dejected but leaving things as they were wasn't an option for me. I needed to know that he would still be there when I called or needed a shoulder. I needed to know that Puck wasn't going to leave me. So, I pressed on trying my best to engage his interest in something, to get him to talk to me, but all I got was a bunch of grunts and monosyllabic answers in reply. Eventually, I gave up, yet, I couldn't leave. My feet wouldn't let me. I just sat there like lump while Puck ignored my fidgeting. After less than a minute, he got tired of it because he slid up on his bed and grabbed his iPod all without looking at me before he kicked me out.

"Look, Merce, we're good, okay. I love you, you're my friend, so; you don't have to worry about me going anywhere. It's forgotten, we'll still be friends tomorrow." I hoped he wasn't lying to me.

I nodded, got up from the bed, walked over and kissed him on his cheek, and whispered, "I'm sorry," in his ear before leaving his room.

As soon as I got into my car, I called Kurt.

"Kurt."

"Yes, Mercedes."

"You will not believe what just happened."

"Try me."

"Puck told me he loved me and wanted us to get back together."

"What did you say?"

"I said no, but wait, you don't seem as surprised as I was."

"Because I'm not."

I rolled my eyes at this character. What did he mean, he wasn't surprised. "You should be. I am."

"Yeah because you're such a blonde when it comes to guys. You were fooled in to going out with Sam and you've missed – although I don't know how – all the looks and Puck's major overreactions to you and Sam in any regard. It was obvious from the moment I saw you two together before you and I reconciled. Why do you think I was so worried you two had gotten back together?"

Well he got me there. I hadn't paid any attention to Puck's mood swings or tried to analyze any of the looks I so often caught directed towards me. I didn't have the time nor did I want to give time to it. I was too busy trying to climb from underneath Sam's thumb to even worry about getting under another one. Not to mention, I suck at decoding signals, and the one's I can decode I seem to favor ignoring. But this, I didn't see this coming.

"Kurt, I don't think it was that obvious."

"Oh dear pseudo-innocent Mercedes, don't you remember that day Puck and Sam almost got into it at you house."

"Yes."

"Remember that impromptu bathroom break while Puck lovingly massaged your scalp."

"Yeah, so…oh."

"Yep. Wasn't because he couldn't hold his Mountain Dew. Though I'm not insinuating anything. I do know however that he had to get away from you for a moment to get himself together."

I burst into laughter. I had no idea. "Wow, just wow."

"Yeah, so he asked you to give him another chance to do, what, repeat the past? Because he wasn't much better than Sam as a boyfriend."

"I wouldn't say that, I guess. He…it sounded more like he wanted a chance to start over. He was willing to be public this time-"

"Didn't Sam want the same thing this time?"

"Yeah but clearly Sam's motives weren't pure and he lied. He didn't want to be my friend."

"I told you that."

"I know, but Puck was different. He didn't ask to go on a date or to try. He wants me back as his girlfriend. He said he loved me. He wanted me. You have no idea how hard it was to turn him down."

"I can imagine darling; he has a way with those hazel eyes of his that seem to wrangle you into doing anything he wants."

"Not this time. This time I told him. No. This time I chose me, as hard as that was. God, Kurt, you should have seen him. He said we were okay, but I don't know. I don't know; he looked so hurt. I just…he's not – we're not going to be friends anymore."

"Hey, hey, Mercedes, Puck's not going to bail on you because you didn't give him what he wanted. I've been around you two enough to know that he values you're friendship. He said he's not going anywhere and he won't. I'm sure he understands. And Mercedes?"

"Mmhm."

"You did the right thing. You don't need to rush into anything least of all with a temperamental bonehead, Puck's a good guy, but good intentions and all that jazz. You did what was right for you for the first time in a long time, and that's all that matters. Okay?"

"Okay."

"Just give him time to deal. He genuinely cares for you, and he doesn't need you pushing your friendship on him when he really wants more than that from you. When he's ready he'll come around, and don't worry he'll come around. I'm sure he's had these feeling from the beginning and he still put up with your Sam drama, so, don't worry, and give him time."

"Okay."

"No problem, honey."

"Thanks for…everything, especially the advice. I don't know where I'd be without you." I didn't spell it out but I needed him to know that all of that tots stuff was water under the bridge. I had no qualms whatsoever with listening to, considering, or accepting his opinions.

"Oh, Mercedes. Anytime babe, anytime."

"Of course."

"And Cedes?"

"I love you too."

"And I love you."

Not getting a lot of response, but hey I like the story so I'm writing and I can see the ending and this will probably be the first major multi chapter fic I finish.

Do or don't leave a review I'm still writing and posting as much as I can until I start school in the fall.

nakala