Chapter Fifteen
I wanted nothing more to hide away in a quiet corner somewhere and cry until I had no more tears left. However, I did not know my way around the estate and Amanda had informed me earlier that we were to have tea on the lawn with the rest of the guests. I wiped my eyes and attempted to look as normal as possible as I made my way towards the marquees on the lawn. Several people glanced at me and I knew I was fooling no one. I had no idea how I looked but I could guess. When I cry, my whole face tends to go red and my eyes go unbelievably puffy.
I sat down silently at the table, away from everyone else, happy to be alone and ignoring all of the conversations going on around me. However, I could not avoid the stares of Wickham. He was sat at a different table but I could feel his gaze burning into the side of my face but I refused to look at him and instead looked out to where some of the gentlemen were shooting. He was sat with Caroline Bingley and this fact made me want to break down again.
However, I couldn't help but glance over at him. Despite everything, there was still something about him that captured my heart and this just made everything that much more painful. He looked over again and caught my eye. He looked so guilty as he took in my tear-stained face. He somehow looked horrified to see me upset and I looked away quickly, I needed to stop tempting myself with something that could never be.
I looked up as the chair next to me was pulled out. I looked up and was caught in George's gaze. I couldn't take it anymore; I couldn't pretend that everything was fine. Tears spilled out of my eyes once more and I fled quickly towards the house, not caring that I did not know my way. I only glanced back once to check that he was not following me. I was almost disappointed; he wasn't.
That was just for Superdani because you are an awesome reviewer and you motivate me to write. Thanks