Pick Your Poison
Heat 5.5
[Saturday, December 11, 2010]
After the embarrassing photoshoot of my own solo porn act -apparently I had to do 24 pictures because Sophia sent me 24 pictures- I felt so violated that I took a long cold shower to ruminate on how unfair my life seemed. Sure, several hot girls all want me, but they're so pushy! I mean, once Pan and Rach found out, Pan immediately demanded copies of both mine and Sophia's pictures, while Bitch commented that she doesn't need pictures to masturbate to me. Sure, ego-boosting, but goddamnit girls! I'm just a guy! I'm not some sex god or something! We've barely even done anything in that vein! I'm terrified they're expecting too much of me.
My being sexually objectified aside, during the embarrassing and rather erotic situation, Sophia asked for a few cases of bottled water spiked with the same Surge used on Winslow. Her reason was interesting, so I agreed. Also the following days at school were much more enjoyable because Sophia, while still insatiable, was far happier than before and was even looking forward to scheduling another date for Sunday, this time with the other girls using Emma as a liaison between them. Of course, I was out of the loop. Sigh, such is the fate of a Harem Protagonist. Er, or a Reverse Harem piece. I still think Pan is the one at fault for all of this.
Besides that, nothing has really happened. MS13 is still incognito, the Bloods have established themselves a bit more in south Brockton but haven't overtly announced the presence of any Capes, and the Protectorate is still giving us a break and patrolling with us, specifically Taylor and Danny to try and find out where they're hiding. Truce-Breakers don't get courtesy after all, and both Overseer and Hive -Taylor was okay with the name picked by the PRT- aren't registered with us so they're clearly trying to poach the Heberts before they end up with us.
That said, all I've been able to do is shore up my resources a bit, prepare a vat as a saltwater aquarium, and grumble about Cauldron in private. When I asked Reverb to arrange a meeting so I could voice my displeasure with their dumbass methods with their test subjects and bargain for recompense, he told me Contessa said to wait, that I already had something on the way, and to watch the local news today at 6pm.
I'm actually dreading that. I may like Contessa, but she's still spooky.
Aside from that though, I was called by Number Man and he ordered seven canisters of Surge, a whole travel case of Stim which amounted to around 10 syringes, same for Addictol, and even ordered 3 canisters of blank Primal, as well as a gallon of Mannus. The end cost of his order was 158,000 dollars, and he still told me I was undercharging him. Good grief. I can buy a pretty nice house with that! How is that still shorting myself?! Oh well, whatever. I made his order within a half-hour and using a Door, dropped it off in that lab I met Contessa at his request-.
"Yo Deal! Those guys Sherrel sent fishing are back." Bebop hollered from through the repaired main warehouse doors before he flung them open with an impressive feat of strength, sliding them so hard into the ends of their tracks that they caused a deafening crash. Thankfully I'd just put the last item -the paint bucket of Mannus- through the Door and it collapsed hopefully before he saw it. Geez, that was close. Has he been hitting Surge and working out? Because those bay doors are really heavy, even for a good number of us.
"Damn it Bebop! If I had any acoustically sensitive projects going that would've set them off!" I snarled, Bebop was so irreverent these days. I miss how he used to be, before the brain trauma. "But they're here?" I rhetorically asked as I watched a Skiff back into my lab through the doors, soon hovering over the vats and I moved to point out the aquarium. "This one here!" I watched in anticipation and felt some glee as the side door opened up and watched as the crew inside, all wearing comfortable clothing and looking fairly pleased, turned over a bathtub practically bursting with Portuguese Man-of-Wars into the aquarium vat.
Said aquarium was already heated to a sub-tropical warmth and filled with live small fish for any of the surviving Siphonophorae to feed off of. I didn't need any alive, but it would be nice to have something to justify my lab smelling like the ocean for so long. Also, I didn't even get to enjoy my pet turtles, so I'm hoping to have at least something besides tinkering and my girlfriends to think about. "Thanks for the trip boss! We caught a ton of fish while we were at it!" Called down one of the guys before they closed the door. Sherrel said she specifically sent crew members who liked fishing, so they could turn the fetch job into a short break.
"Sorry Deal, figured you'd want them in quick." Bebop sheepishly scratched the back of his head as the Skiff hovered back out. "So why'd you want jellyfish?" Bebop asked as he moved to one of the doors and started pulling it back out of the wall. Thankfully the tracks didn't break.
"To be perfectly frank, these aren't True Jellyfish. Portuguese Man-of-Wars are actually a colonial organism made of thousands of zooids all working together to…." I paused as I'd looked back at Bebop to see a vacant glaze in his eyes, so I sighed. "It's made of a lot of animals, not just one."
"Whoa, really? That's freaky." Bebop commented as he moved to the other door and pulled it closed as well.
"Freaky enough that my power pinged on it being a possible answer to an idea it shoved at me." I rubbed my hands together in anticipation before I went over to my work table to look for long-sleeved rubber gloves I've had waiting for this. I may be fine if stung by the floating critter's stingers, but I'd rather not be burned by chemicals I'm trying to examine and maybe replicate.
"Uh...what idea?" Bebop questioned as he approached, dusting off his biker clothes.
"Well, it's partially reliant on getting some input and help from Leet, so I want to at least make sure it will-." I was interrupted by a loud squeak before being pounced on from practically overhead, making me stumble as Bebop cackled in amusement. "Mouph! Git offa meh!" I pushed the heavy grey mouse-woman off of me, and I took some calming breaths as the 6'7" muscular rodent equally as proportioned as Pan and Bitch shimmied in place excitedly. Thankfully I hadn't had to make her breast-growth formula to satisfy her.
"Thank you so much! It's all working out so well!" Mouse Protector, or Katherine as she'd told me once she'd taken Primal Thursday, was wearing black pants with a stretched-out grey graphic shirt of her old appearance. Her eyes were still an expressive green and her big saucer-sized ears were constantly moving in her joy. Her conical mousy face was still something to get used to. Not to mention her long prehensile hairless tail which flicked about constantly.
"What is?" I asked curiously as I went back to looking for my gloves. Ah, there they are.
"My PR! I mean, I was already a sexy but spunky young woman, but now I'm a bodacious yet adorable rodent! I appeal to such a wide audience apparently that I got an even bigger offer from my sponsors!" MP jumped around in joy, getting Bebop to stare at her bouncing chest before I tapped his nose and shook my head, to which he sheepishly grinned.
"That's great. But how're you going to hide the Guise Watch we gave you from your Hero pals?" Yeah, Leet finished the Guise Watch a few days ago. I'm sticking to my collar though. It's mine.
"I'm not. At least not from Militia. She and I go back to the start of the Wards. Don't worry your head about it though, if someone else catch's on, I'll tell them I got it from Toybox." MP held up her left wrist showing a boxy high-tech touch-screen watch like the ones the phone companies are peddling these days. "They outsource for things they can't supply directly, so it'd pass."
"Hm, good to know." So that's why Doctor Mother said me selling to Toybox made sense as a plausible excuse. "Now then, if that's all MP, I've got to get to work on my next project now that I finally have the resources to-."
"There you are! I told you to meet me in the cafeteria ten minutes ago!" Amy shouted as she burst in through the smaller normal door facing the trolley.
"Sorry~! But I wanted to thank Deal before I met up with you." MP apologized without really meaning it. I rolled my eyes as I pulled up my bicep-length rubber gloves which had sheathes for my claws in the fingers.
"Yeah, he's a cool guy, but he's already got too many hot babes on his tail as it stands Mouse, you shouldn't be trying to get in his pants." I choked at Amy's words. I mean, I know she's hitting on me, but seriously, I have enough women! One was enough!
"Aw, but he's so fun to tease and toy with." MP pouted, to which I sighed and rubbed my temples while Bebop heartlessly cackled at my misfortune. "But anyway, how's the talk of me joining New Wave going?" This got my attention. New Wave was temporarily bunking here since their homes were destroyed by Coco and Silbon and they've lost faith in the safety of the Protectorate with the PRT and PHQ getting assaulted as well. Us being assaulted wasn't much better, but the fact we actually dealt with Coco made the team of heroes figure we were the safest option with Cadejo and the others still at large.
"It's kinda mixed, since you can still have a secret identity with that fancy watch, but Aunt Sara is all for it." Amy shrugged as she and MP started to leave my lab. "I'm in favor too, so don't worry too much. Mom's the only one really protesting, but even she's not adamant about that."
"Aw, thanks Amy. Also, I feel your eyes going for my tits. You can cop a feel if you want~." MP purred at the biokinetic, who choked and sputtered as they left my lab, bewildered at this development.
"That is just too hot to be fair." Bebop commented, before snorting through his snout. "Well, I've gotta go exercise. Rock and I have been making gains so we're more reliable the next time a major scrap goes down." Bebop informed me with a flex of his arms before following after the heroes.
"...Well, that happened. At least I can finally get to work." I commented to myself, then looked around, waiting for Murphy to decide to put his foot in the door. When nothing happened for a few seconds, I sighed in relief, then moved to the aquarium. "Well now, looks like I have a couple of pets." Two of the Man-of-Wars had ensnared a fish each and were slowly and quite cruelly killing their prey with their toxic tendrils.
Appreciating the cruelty of nature for a minute, I then moved on to taking one of the several dead siphonophorae in my hands, having to bundle up the incredible length of tendrils while holding the pneumatophore, or air sack away from the knot of dactylozooids aka; tentacles. I then fell into a fugue, my curiosity and need to tinker finally getting some exercise. This was fascinating. The way each zooid was a separate entity, yet entirely reliant on it's fellow zooids for survival was incredible, and filled with astounding potential.
With this, the concept that my power stabbed into my brain after we dealt with Coco is much more plausible. I just need to find the gonozooids which are responsible for reproduction first. Of course, working with a creature with such potent nematocysts or 'stinging cells' was a literal pain. I'm wearing gloves and just a brief contact with my exposed abs from a tendril flicking sent me reeling with a hiss. Goddamn that is potent, and I've got the benefit of scales and Balcoat.
Wiser, I put on a thick painter's smock and got back to work finding and dissecting the gonozooids, because I needed to-. "Yo Deal!" I accidentally stabbed the gonozooid I was going to surgically remove with my scalpel, and snarled as I rounded on the person who-. "Whoa! Chill bro! Didn't mean to walk in on you in the zone!" Leet declared frantically from his spot by the door, Uber having followed in. The two had bulked up to a respectable 6'3" and 6'5" with the former being wiry and the latter being more broad in the shoulders. "What're you up to? I thought you didn't care for wetwork."
"I don't." At least not really. This is necessary though, I need a fresh polyp at the very start of its life cycle to-. "Wait a second...hey, we haven't gotten around to the biotinkering you wanted to get to." I grinned ferally, feeling excitement. "If you don't mind helping me with my work, I'll gladly help you with yours."
"Whoa, back up a sec." Uber put a hand on Leet's shoulder, because Leet seemed about as excited as I was at the prospect of working together on something. But then again, the fact they were in casual clothes and domino masks caught up with me, and that meant they weren't here on their kind of business, even if their web show was a few weeks behind their update schedule. "We're here because a VI Leet made to look for info involving various things has caught wind of some seriously disturbing stuff, and we wanted to tell you first."
"Uh...what could it be that involves…." Oh god. Is this something to do with whatever Contessa wanted me to see at 6 on the news? But if they're so serious about it, it can't be good, which I assumed was what Contessa meant by this being reimbursement for being wronged.
"It might involve you." Leet stressed as he looked to his larger companion. "We don't have proof yet. Just that there is a huge influx of PRT agents coming into town today. All of them are also escorting Chief Director Rebecca Costa-Brown of the PRT for some sort of announcement." Leet's words got me feeling panicked. The Chief Director?! I know Cauldron has connections, you can't be the parahuman Illuminati without them, but the head of the government's organization that deals with parahumans is in their pocket? No. Can't assume anything Andrew. Calm.
"Well, why do you think it involves me? Does it mention me or the gang in any way?" I probed, only to get a shrug from the two gamers.
"Nope. But you're the biggest thing in town right now, so you're the most likely thing they're going to address." Uber informed me, and I rubbed my temples in anxiety. Why do I have to be such a big shot? I just make life smaller than the naked eye can see do amazing things. The irony is not lost on me.
"Thanks, I guess. What time is it?" I dug around for my phone, and I felt my heart jump into my throat at seeing it was 5:57. "Just in time for the 6 O'clock news. Maybe that'll mention something." I ran for the stairs, Uber and Leet following me up to my apartment, which recently got a new entertainment system. "Thanks for this setup Leet."
"It's cool. Still smaller than ours. Have you been trying out any games?" Leet asked as he plopped onto my comfy microfiber grey couch along with Uber, while I belatedly shucked my slimy gloves onto the counter and turned on the 50" flatscreen TV, quickly flipping the channel 5 for the local news station.
"Haven't had the time, sorry. But Taylor's taken a liking to them." She actually did it out of boredom and a desire to distract herself from the stress of the Protectorate constantly trying to pitch membership to her. She really liked Oblivion, but said the Argonians in the game didn't do me justice.
"That's great to hear even so. I suggest you go for some simple games to start if you don't like complicated stories or controls." Uber replied before we turned our attention to news to see it was broadcasting live. The PRT must really be saying something important if they've arranged it to be announced without any editing. I had to muse on how intimidating the PRT building was, all glass and iron bars. The stage out front was at just the right height for the huge winged tower logo of the PRT on the front of the building to be prominent. Public Relations Team for sure.
Before long, Director Piggot, the overweight and, oh gosh, she looks like she's going to fucking keel over on the stage! She's visibly using her cane as a crutch to even stand, what is she doing in office? The unhealthily pale woman made it to the podium, and managed to draw herself up and look as severe as any person I've ever seen. Whatever's ailing her, she clearly is not letting it stop her from doing her job, even if it looks like she'd rather suck on a lemon than whatever the announcement is about.
"Good citizens of Brockton Bay. I have called you here today to announce an action plan that the entirety of the Parahuman Response Team has decided to move forward with in regards to Independent Heroes, Rogues, Mercenaries, and Vigilantes. I humbly hand over this stage to Chief Director Costa-Brown, head of the PRT and the Los Angeles branch of the PRT." Emily Piggot then managed to back away as a tall and impressively healthy woman for her supposed middle-age. Her dark hair was without any grey, I could tell her face wasn't actually weathered as much as it normally would be for a woman her age, and her body frame….
"Greetings Brockton Bay." THAT FUCKING BITCH?! Her voice! Her body frame, the height. THE FUCKING HAIR! How have people not noticed that Alexandria is the head of both the Protectorate AND the PRT?! The realization had me stumble back into my recliner, rubbing my throat at the phantom sensation of immutably powerful fingers crushing my trachea and I barely kept calm enough to avoid more signs of fear and outrage to show. "I have come here today to announce a shift in paradigm for how we will handle Parahuman organizations and individuals."
"Changing paradigm? That does not sound good." Uber muttered worriedly, and I nodded wordlessly in agreement. The PRT is already militant and oppressive, what're they doing now?
"We've already brought this to Congress and the President, and they've quickly agreed to allow us to make some changes to our policies. First, and foremost, MIRIS is being relaunched with new goals of integrating and enabling Rogues in society. Unlike before, however, where laws passed by bills like NEPEA-5 have strangled and stymied such efforts, they will be able to operate as before the bill passed in 1998, but under MIRIS management and protection." That...that is big! Rogues like Parian could barely get by with those stringent laws.
"Fucking cash grab, that's what that is." Leet snarled, clearly catching something I didn't.
"That isn't all MIRIS is doing. They will also provide a structure for Independent Heroes so that they can work with the Protectorate more closely without having to subscribe to membership. The same is extended to Mercenaries and Vigilantes so long as they are willing to provide work as community service for any laws they have broken." What? Just...what? "Lastly, and this is why we are announcing this here in Brockton Bay. To the Merchants. You have bled for the common good the past few months. You've saved lives, you've sparked the rejuvenation of this city and you've paid for your efforts in blood, sweat, and tears. Your valiant efforts here and in Karachi, Behemoth's latest victims, have not gone unnoticed."
I held my breath. What is going on? We're Villains! They can't just-.
"You are hereby pardoned of all crimes, so long as you come forth and submit yourselves to community service under MIRIS. You can still operate as you have been of recently, so long as you continue to no longer break the laws of this great nation." With that statement, the crowd began roaring in approval. Cheering. I blanked out, unable to process as the news reporters started speculating and dithering on.
I turned off the TV, feeling numb with my shock. We can be legit. We can be legal and continue to help people. But we would also be under the Protectorate and PRT's thumb with MIRIS. Would they restrict my tinkering? Would they stop us from actual community service like we were planning when things calmed down at last? We actually had a grid plan set up to clean up garbage, litter, graffiti, the works. While Dragon and the Unions got the big things cleaned up, we were going to help rejuvenate the city's image. Can we still do that?
"So...uh…." I looked over at Uber, who was obviously stunned as well. "That's...a thing."
"Does that extend to us? I mean, we aren't officially members." Leet asked, to which I snorted.
"You are now. Go tell the others if they haven't heard already. I...I need to lay down." I put my recliner back, and closed my eyes. What are we going to do now? We were okay with being Villains to the end, but is this the right way to go? I don't know, but a nap is looking good now.