Author's note

As always, thank you so much to everyone who has read/followed/reviewed/favourited the story so far! I really love to hear from you - please do keep telling me what you think, it really inspires me! Dedicating this chapter to the lovely Angiemagz - a wonderful artist and friend.

This is a bit of a reflective chapter for Tom – harking back to the feel of their long weekend in Portugal a couple of months before. I wanted to get inside his head as he and Sybil start to live together, to see their experiences through his eyes and give an idea how he is feeling as their love and intimacy grow in this new phase of their relationship. I drew some inspiration from a song by one of my favourite bands from the 90s when writing this:

"You should have been an angel, it would have suited you
My gold-leafed, triptych angel, she knows just what to do
In the half light of morning, in our world between the sheets
I swear I saw her angel wing, my vision was complete
And I know I'll never want another lover, my sweet
Can there be more in this world than the joy of just watching you sleep?"

From "Tightrope", The Stone Roses

Chapter 12 - Tom's reflections

Tom lay back in bed, dressed in navy boxer shorts, arms folded behind his head. He watched the dawn light stream into their bedroom, waiting for the sound of the key in the lock. Now that he had been living with Sybil for a couple of weeks, he had started to appreciate (more than when they had only been dating) what the life of a doctor was really like.

Her normal working week was around 65 hours, including the night shift one week in four, which was where she was now. He knew how passionate she was about her work and he loved how she tried so hard every day, expending her energy and experience to do everything she could to help the cancer patients she cared for, many of whom were very ill. He loved his job too, but he could see that his own work life was a walk in the park in comparison to hers – normally out the door by 6.30 or 7 pm, with the occasional late night and some weekend research when he was working on a big article, but that was about it.

The night before, he had been out with the football boys, who regularly met up for drinks during the off season. The evening out had helped him realise (again) that his priorities had changed since he had been with Sybil. Before, when he was single, he thought nothing of kicking onto a club once the pubs closed and staying out all night, staggering into work once a week or so with red eyes and a hangover that he normally fought off with a double espresso and a bacon sandwich, counting on his youth to help him bounce back.

Now that he had her in his life, he preferred to be with her, as much as he could. Last night had brought that change into sharp relief for him – while he had been queuing at the bar to get a round in, he found himself drifting off, thinking about the little intimate moments he loved so much from the domestic life they now shared ...

Sybil leaning into the bathroom mirror, her mouth slightly open, concentrating as she applied her mascara...

Sybil falling asleep on the couch on a Sunday afternoon, the medical journal she had been reading falling unheeded from her fingers as he covered her with a rug...

Sybil making tea and toast for them, singing a Robbie Williams song as she warmed the pot –"And through it all she offers me protection, A lot of love and affection, Whether I'm right or wrong"...

Sybil snuggling up with him as they watched Mr Selfridge, feeling himself smiling as he listened to her fangirling over Henri Leclair...

Sybil exhausted after a double shift, happily accepting his offer to brush her long hair for her because she was too tired to do it herself...

Sybil stretching in the living room when she got home from her yoga class with Mary, her skin glowing as she reached for the ceiling and then bent at the waist to touch the floor...

Sybil on Facetime just before he went to bed the night before, blowing him a kiss goodnight and saying how much she loved him...

When he turned down the chance to go clubbing, saying he needed to get home, Jimmy mocked him by pushing the ball of his thumb into the palm of his hand, while Thomas made the whipcrack sound. "She's got you just where she wants you, mate!"

Tom grinned and waved them off for a wild night out, happy to leave them to it. He wanted to get some sleep before Sybil finished her shift the next morning, so he could be awake when she got back and make her breakfast before going to work himself. The boys have got it right, in a way – she does have me where she wants me, but it's where I want to be too – putting her first, always, and being there for her whenever I can, because she is the most important thing in my life - nothing matters more than loving her and making her happy...

And then there was their sex life... while it had been amazing since the night they met at the Crown last Christmas, somehow since they moved in together it had moved up to a whole other level he had never imagined, let alone experienced before. The secret, inner life he had shared with her since their earliest days together had somehow expanded and deepened so much that, as soon as he came in the front door of their flat, after work or a night out, he felt the chemistry between them almost as a tangible presence there.

He noticed so many things – her favourite perfume lingering in the air, the book she was reading lying on the table, her scarf thrown over the arm of the couch, the apples she loved ripening in the fruit bowl... all the little signs of her around the place that filled him with such a profound sense of connection to her. If he came home and she wasn't there too, he could hardly wait for her to return so that they could resume their endless dance of love and desire, felt and satisfied, over and over again.

He supposed that a time might come when they didn't made love two or three times a day, all over the flat, sometimes more on their days off and often in the middle of the night after one of them had woken the other up – but he hoped that time was a long, long way in the future. Lying in their bed, he smiled as he remembered the day they had moved into their flat...

It had been hot for early summer, and getting all their things up three flights of steep stairs had been hard work for Tom, who was getting some much needed help from Matthew and William. He had worked up quite a sweat, carrying the couch up the stairs, and the bed had been even heavier.

He noticed Sybil, going up and down the stairs with their boxes, giving him little glances through her long eyelashes as they met on the landing, and it did not take him long to realise that she found him extremely desirable with his shirt off, sweat gleaming on his well muscled frame and his hair tousled from his exertions.

Once they had everything inside, she invited the others in for a 'thank you' beer, but as he met her gaze for the third time in as many minutes he realised she was as eager as he was to start "christening" their new home.

The boys headed off before long and as Tom closed the front door he felt Sybil close behind him, wrapping her arms around his waist and burying her face in his neck – "God, Tom, you smell so good..."

He felt her hands sliding up to caress his chest, her fingers tangling in the dark hair she found there and pulling it gently, while her soft lips moved across his shoulders, tasting his skin. Despite his several hours of hard work that day, his body responded immediately to her touch and he turned around, pulling her face to his and kissing her fiercely.

He heard her moan into his mouth, which only sharpened his desire, and his hands slid across her stomach as he lifted her t-shirt over her head. Looking at her, clad only in a lace bra and cut off denim shorts, her hair pulled into a messy topknot, he thought he had never seen her look more beautiful, and he told her so.

By way of answer, she undid her bra, holding it for a moment then dropping it as she slowly revealed her breasts to him, knowing full well how much he loved them. His eyes drank her in before he swept her up in his arms and they fell together to the bare floorboards.

Desperate for each other now, knowing this was no time for lengthy caresses, they quickly wriggled free of their remaining clothes. His hand went straight to her core and he could feel she was already soaking wet for him. She pushed him onto his back and positioned herself on his cock, driving down on top of him so hard he was quickly buried in her, up to the hilt.

The cool, harsh light streaming from the uncovered light bulbs left by the last tenant hit her naked body, highlighting her beautiful curves and throwing her silhouette against the bare white walls, meaning that he could see her twice, in light and in shadow, making her doubly alluring.

Tom's hands grasped her hips and he felt his eyes roll back in his head for a moment as Sybil started to move above him. Her breath became ragged, and her breasts rose and fell unevenly as her excitement rose. He could feel himself racing towards oblivion already and tried to hold back, determined to focus all his attention on her first, and as she bit her lip, he knew she was getting close.

He knew just how she wanted him to touch her now and as he slid his hand between them, finding her clit and starting to stroke it, he heard her let out a gasping cry – "Oh God, yes, yes, that's it!" He watched as her hand came up to touch her own breast, feeling the nipple between her fingers and starting to tease it as she closed her eyes and dropped her head back, and he felt himself letting out a deep, rough groan as he watched her – She is so incredibly hot!

She started to move faster as she approached her peak, a tear falling from her closed eyes as she chanted his name, over and over - "Oh Tom, oh Tom!" She strained upwards as if reaching for release, her arms above her head, and he felt her whole body contract and vibrate around him as she came, so hard he could not control himself any more and let out a shout as his own orgasm raced through him.

He knew from experience that she wasn't done yet, and kept his fingers moving on her clit through the aftershocks. Finally, she collapsed on top of him, letting his cock slowly slide out of her as his arms came around her and pulled her close. She moved into his body and they came together into a kiss that quickly deepened, her tongue pushing into his mouth and duelling with his.

After a while, Sybil broke their kiss and pushed her tangled hair back from her face, grinning. "Welcome to North London, Mr Branson! Now, if you'd care to inspect the bathroom, I can show you just how well the shower works..."

She stood up and stretched luxuriously, walking away from Tom and stopping to wink cheekily over her shoulder, swaying her hips in a way that made his mouth water. He stood up and ran to follow her, catching her and lifting her up in his arms to carry her into the bathroom - time to christen the next room...

Tom was thinking about Matthew and Mary's engagement party which they were going to in a couple of weeks - Matthew had been telling one of his wryly humorous stories the night before about Mary getting into control freak mode as she planned the elaborate event - when he heard the key turn in the lock at last, and he got out of bed to go and welcome Sybil home.

He was shocked to see tears on her face, and her eyes looked so sad his arms went around her immediately. He just stood with her for a while, stroking her back as she cried in his arms – "A stór, it's all right, everything is going to be all right, I promise..."

Finally, she was able to lift her face to his, and he put his finger under her chin as he dropped a gentle kiss on her lips. "Here, sweetheart, let me get you some water – come and sit down."

He took her hand and led her over to the couch, quickly filling a glass with water and grabbing the box of tissues on his way back to her. He wrapped both arms around her, pulling her onto his lap as she wiped her eyes, her breath gradually returning to normal as the storm of crying passed. He had never seen her like this before and he was worried something terrible had happened - "Sybil, what's wrong? What can I do?"

She heaved a sigh and started to talk, telling him that after a long, difficult operation the day before on a 12 year old boy, she and all the rest of the staff had thought he was going to make it, and she had told his parents that there was reason to hope. Then, totally unexpectedly, his heart had stopped early that morning. She and the rest of the team had worked over him for more than an hour, trying to get it started again, but without success.

She told him that she had been caring for this boy for more than a year, ever since his last remission had ended, and she started crying again as she told him what a great kid he was, so full of life and humour, and what a tragedy it was that he had died so suddenly and so young.

When he heard that the boy's parents had compounded Sybil's misery by lashing out at her, blaming her for giving them hope which they felt made their loss all the more painful when it came, Tom felt his heart swell up in his chest ... Didn't these people realise how amazing she was – how much she cared, how hard she fought for all her patients, how she strove every day to be the best doctor she could be?

His arms tightened around her and he tucked her head under his chin, rocking her like a child as he tried to give her some comfort, feeling a tear in his own eye and realising he would gladly cut off his right hand if it meant sparing her this pain.

"Sybil, oh my love, my beautiful girl, don't cry, please don't cry. I'm here, I'm not going anywhere..."

She lifted her tear-streaked face to him, a watery smile breaking out across her face. "Tom, darling, I love you so much. Thank God you're here, I don't know how I could cope without you..."

"As far as I am concerned, Sybil, you won't ever have to cope without me again..."

She put her arms around his neck, finding his lips with hers.

Tom felt his love for Sybil so strongly at that moment, he felt as if he might overflow with it. As he kissed her, pulling her close to his heart, he wondered what he had done to be lucky enough to have a wonderful woman like her in his life, and he sent a silent prayer up to the gods that he wouldn't do anything to mess this up, this amazing love that filled his heart and soul to the brim and which was the best thing that had ever happened to him...

A/N -

"a stór" - "my darling" in Irish Gaelic, per Google Translate. As always, I would love to hear what you think!

Next time – get ready for the STEAMM festival on Tumblr on 15 September, which celebrates the happiness of all the Crawley sisters and the men they love. Sybil and Tom are off to Mary and Matthew's engagement party at Downton Abbey, which has an Edwardian theme. Edith brings along an unexpected guest, and Tom makes an interesting choice for his costume...